Short stories (past events like the wind) on
It was 1997, and I couldn't pass the culture class in the college entrance examination and fell off the list. My family looked for relatives to take care of friends, and I actually got a job in the art department of Heda University.
It cost a lot of money, and the cost was also a lot, my mother's face was ugly for several days, saying that I was not angry, and I was greedy and greedy for me to make breakfast for all these years. When I sat on the kaifeng coach at the old bus station, I could not stop the joy in my heart, and my heart had already flown to the campus of Henan University. It was a free season, a September of my own.
At that time, the conditions were not good, and the family of four was crowded in the dormitory of the 30-square-meter factory. Although I moved from the factory dormitory to the student's dormitory, the room was full of peers. There was no more mother's nagging, father's insults, sister's blank eyes.
College life is very happy, but also very boring, sometimes homesick, fortunately we six of our peers in a dormitory, still can talk about, every day after the lights out to talk and laugh, forget the bitterness of study, and homesickness troubles. On the eighth day of every month, I will receive countless small living expenses from my mother, in addition to eating and drinking Lasa, painting and painting to buy paint paper, I try my best to break the flowers, barely enough, but there is nothing left, painting costs, sometimes there is not much money, just save food to buy paint, always hungry a full meal.
I guess I was the hardest student in my class. The teacher said that painting is like an ascetic, just like a practice, boring and boring, there are very few people who can persevere, he said don't look at the forty or fifty students in our class, you can do this in the future, there are ten is not bad. Finally, it turns out that the old guy is really accurate. I thought this was such a bland college career, but I met her.
Because my family conditions are not good, I am embarrassed when I go to dinner, and I always wait for the last to go, the yellow noodle porridge is thicker, and I can eat more full. There was often a girl not far away. A little girl in a music class. Once, twice, it turned out to be familiar. I talked a lot, and sometimes I joked with her like a big brother and patted her on the head, grabbing her buns and playing pranks while eating. She often came to our studio to watch me paint, staying for half a day, looking stupidly, saying that she had no class. I sometimes ask her to buy cigarettes for me. Her short hair, fair skin, followed me, clinging to me, a tomboy.
That winter, it was really cold. She gave me a bib, dark red, with a pair of gloves. Like a little brother who had done something wrong, he handed it to me with trepidation, put it in a bag of liquid printed with a bow, and ran away with a crimson face. Someone in the class saw the coaxing, and my face was also very red, and it felt like it was burning to the root of my ear. The snow that winter had been intermittently falling for a month, and the scarf was so thick and mohair, and I didn't have frozen ears that year. The neck was warm, and a stream of heat surged back and forth in the heart. And one of her hands was frozen and opened her mouth, she said that she was working overtime at night to beat the scarf frozen, it doesn't matter, just smear some sparrows.
Her name is Xiao Min.
We lived day after day, I often went to Fenjing Park to sketch, and every time she could find me in the park. Dragging two wooden sticks in her hands, her face covered in sweat, she asked what she was holding. She said it was sorbet. That day we ate snacks in the drum tower, there were sheep ears, meat skewers, grilled tofu skin, Xiao Min was very happy, I was also very happy, I painted portraits in the park, five yuan a piece, and earned thirty-five yuan in one afternoon. I invited Xiao Min to have a good meal. Sitting on the long chair of the food stall, the sunset reflected her face, one would be red, one would be golden, one would be orange, I drank several beers, my eyes were a little blurry, Xiao Min looked at me and smiled, I stared at Xiao Min in a daze, and Xiao Min was a little embarrassed to see. The first time I looked at her so seriously, three points of head, black and shiny hair, fair skin, thin eyebrows, high nose bridge, and a little thick lower lip. The figure is not fat or thin, a bit like an athlete. I murmured, 'You, like Chen Farong.' ‘
It was a Friday and the student dormitories closed at ten o'clock. We almost couldn't go back. I was also drunk. Vague, vaguely fragmented, as if on a quiet path, she supported me unsteadily, and the scent of haifei silk wafted from her hair, and I seemed to kiss her. Xiao Min is a very gentle girl, looking at the appearance is a bit inconsistent, like made of water, like a calm lake, no intention to touch it lightly, it will swing the ripples of the ring. Can't bear to spoil this beautiful feeling, although I am very happy with her, but sometimes getting along feels like having a cold drink. Is this what is called love? I lay on the top bunk and took the Admiralty cigarette handed over by my brother on the bottom bunk, and the smoke was thick, but I tossed and turned.
Juan, is my classmate, is recognized in the class as a beautiful class flower, the painting is also very beautiful, tall, pavilion, everywhere you go, is a beautiful landscape. A casual shirt with red plaid, with a pair of jeans, a handkerchief tied to the ponytail on the head, tied out a bow, generous and beautiful, giving the feeling of the girl next door. I heard that her parents are the leaders of public institutions, the family conditions are superior, there is an older brother in the family, tall and handsome, every time the school starts, her brother drives with her parents to send her.
Our class has more than thirty students, one person at a table. Juan sat in a glassy position, separated by an aisle, and then there was me.
Juan has endless trendy clothes, there is always pocket money in her pocket, the old people in the class always love to borrow her money, she does not care, never refused, and never urged others to pay back. Juan has a Panasonic Walkman, the kind of tape, she draws while wearing headphones to listen, radiant, sometimes softly humming two sentences, sometimes shaking her head, I can't hear what songs she puts, I envy her to have such a good Walkman. At that time, we all put our favorite songs on the book, and we didn't have anything to look at, and we felt very enjoyable.
As always, I took advantage of the big week to go to Fenjing Park to sketch, next to a few self-portraits of myself, and a piece of paper wrote a portrait of five yuan. On Saturdays, there are many people in the park, and the portraits are rare, and I can earn a hundred circles in two days. It can almost solve the cost of living, and there is still a surplus.
Xiao Min pestered me every day to teach her to draw, and as a condition, she from the music department taught me to play guitar. I went to buy a guitar with the money to paint portraits, and in order not to mess with my classmates, I played it myself in the class.
Juan's material life is very superior, but usually very low-key, good temperament, before speaking to laugh, brush neat small white teeth, two small dimples, face puff puff. Juan studied very hard, and later we chatted privately, and she said that she studied hard today and did not try to find a job in the future. Every time the class ended, juan and I were left in the empty classroom, the classroom had no heating, we were shivering with cold, and the brush brushed on the drawing board.
It is very coincidental that I and Juan, we are all From Anyang, there are also a lot of topics, often together in the air chatting, but also talk about the food of the hometown, the old Cui Bian powder vegetables in the south gate, the old tofu of the Drum Tower, wang ji tofu brain, Jiangnan buns, talk until very late, forgot to go to the canteen to eat, did not feel hungry. Later, Juan often brought snacks to the studio, and she said that she was tired of eating the food in the canteen.
She always let me pick out the snacks she brought first, a whole bunch, but what impressed me the most was the fluttering star, which had a strange taste, but was delicious. There are also apples, with a drawing knife to peel, I will not, Juan see I will not peel to help me peel, a large apple in her hand was skillfully cut a bunch of peels, her slender white tender hands trembled, like magic, long apple peel. She looked at me and smiled, and the sun shone on her face through the glass window, like a girl in a painting, so beautiful. I took the apple she had cut and took a bite, it was a little sour, but it was sweet in my heart, very sweet. She asked me to play Geeta, very rusty, and played a loud song, do you know I'm waiting for you? She listened very carefully, I was nervous, I felt that my palms were sweaty, my body was very stiff, she was playing badly, her heart was pounding...
For many days, Xiao Min did not come to the studio to find me, and I did not look for her. On the day I played Geeta, after the song was played, I was a little embarrassed to look up at Juan, and I saw Xiao Min's stupid expression outside the glass window behind Juan. Our eyes intertwined, and she seemed to have been shocked by an electric shock, and then turned and left.
In Xiao Min's dormitory, Xiao Min was lying flat and staring at the board on the top bunk in a daze. Suddenly I appeared in her line of sight, and she was surprised at first, and then grabbed the pillow towel and covered half of her face from her nose upwards. The female students in the dormitory rushed out when they saw the situation.
I felt very uncomfortable in my heart, like someone was pulling hard, 'Your dorm classmate brought me here, saying that you have been sick for several days and do not eat much.'
After a moment of silence, Xiao Min tightened her lips, 'I'm fine, go find your class flower!' After saying a word, tears rolled down from the pillow towel, Xiao Min twisted over, she tried her best to restrain her trembling body, 'You go, this is the girls' dormitory'
Put a pack of open special snacks on her pillow, I silently withdrew, I couldn't say a word, I didn't know what to say, I knew that Xiao Min didn't want a few words of comfort, she thought in her heart, I know, at the moment all the language in front of her is pale and weak, I want to tell her that we are still more suitable to be friends, but always can't open my mouth. I sat on the court that day, for a long, long time, and I didn't feel cold in the cold winter moon, with the guitar in my arms, playing and singing Zheng Jun's Cinderella over and over again.
'I'm always hurting your heart, I'm always cruel, I tell you not to take it seriously, because I can't believe it... ‘
It was so cold that at last my fingers froze and I couldn't pluck the strings, so I left the playground in tears. A tangle in my heart that can't be said, a sadness.
That night the wind was very strong, whizzing in the middle of the night, the dormitory had heating, the sleep was very sweet, and the wind outside was whistling like a sleeping song. Woke up by the alarm clock in the morning, wrapped in silver outside the window, it was the first snow in 97 years, I went to dinner in the morning, or did not see Xiao Min, but met Juan, she greeted me, I was overwhelmed to respond, the boys' team, the girls' team was playing, the women's team had Xiao Min and the girls in her class, pointing at me, I aimed at them the same, turned my head, did not dare to look again.
The snow was falling beautifully, and I stepped on the snow one by one, creaking, and I have loved listening to this sound since I was a child. There are a lot of people on campus who are having snowball fights, building snowmen, and walking in pairs of snow, which is a bit noisy. The snow was still falling, it was falling densely, but the snow was not big, and the sky was not cold. There was no class in the afternoon, I carried the guitar to the playground, and there were a few girls in the far distance of the playground playing in the snow, chattering, watching me carry the guitar, secretly laughing. Sweep the seats in the stands on the snow and sit back. The sky was actually out of the sun, shining on the snow a little reflective, not cold at all, but a little warm, I held the guitar in my arms and sang.
I don't know how long later, I don't see those few twittering little girls, except for the guitar fluttering on the playground, so quiet. Someone called my name, so familiar a voice, I looked sideways, the sun shining on the snow glowing purple, stinging my glasses, I squinted my eyes, saw Xiao Min not far away. We sat in the stands like this, and Min sighed and said it was the first time she had seen snow. She said that when the winter in her hometown was coldest, she wore a very thin cotton jacket, not as cold as in the north, and never snowed.
Xiao Min looked into the distance and asked me if if you loved someone, would it be the same for fifty years. I replied that she would, but when I said this, I was a little underwhelmed and did not dare to look at her. Xiao Min said she would too, she said that she was very happy with me, no matter what, you can't get rid of me. After saying that, she looked at me and smiled, her eyes were crystal tears, and I watched a warm current in her heart, and I smiled. We didn't return until it was almost dark. When they were separated, she asked me to watch 101 marriage proposals in Japanese dramas. Then say 'My first kiss was given to you, badass, want to run, no door.' ‘
That night... I lost sleep.
During the winter vacation, our students all have to go home for the New Year, and I also go home for the New Year, and I sit on the train home with an empty heart, without a trace of happiness. The family already has a strong New Year's flavor, when I get home, I help the family to work, sweep the house, wipe the glass, fry the crispy meat, croquettes, fry the fish to buy New Year goods, busy dizzy, take the time to buy a pager. Then he couldn't wait to tell Xiao Min and Juan the number. That day I received a package from Xiaomin, a large box of bacon and a New Year card. At night I sat at my desk and opened the greeting card, which had a line on it, fifty years long, but also very short, and you dwelt in my heart, whether you were on the edge of the cape. Signed by Xiaomin. There were a few words on it that were a little blurry, it must have been Xiao Min's tears, my heart was very painful, and the tears fell on the greeting card sent by Xiao Min.
At the beginning of the year, my mother's factory issued a fund-raising room, three rooms and a living room, and I finally had my own piece of the world, cleaning up the housework every day, lying on my own small bed to read books, very relaxed, looking at it and falling asleep, the next day the book fell on the pillow or on the ground.
In the morning, woke up by the pager, it shows ms. X Juan please call back quickly, a cigarette ran to the downstairs newsstand to find a public phone, the phone side of the soft voice of Juan, she asked me if I was free in the afternoon, do you want to go to the teacher's hospital to see the exhibition together, I excitedly agreed. On the way to the division hospital, my heart was pounding, very excited, I hadn't seen Juan for more than ten days, I missed her in my heart, in the short days of returning to Anyang during this holiday, I looked forward to her contacting me, looking forward to starting school quickly, looking forward to seeing her quickly.
Wearing a black tunic, still with a ponytail, a white handkerchief tied into a butterfly to end the ponytail, dark and shiny hair, red lips and white teeth, smiling at me, 'You're five minutes late'
'My bike blew up on the road' I was a little embarrassed.
In fact, I came out early, the bicycle cable ties, out of gas, I found a place to make up, it was only five minutes late. It shows how important I am to this meeting.
Juan had a camera around her neck and looked very high-end, I had never seen that before, only in TV series and movies, and she snapped at the works of the exhibition, and the flash flickered. She asked me to take a few pictures of her and take a picture of a nice piece, and I was shaking my hands a little, and the shutter was pressed a few times before I pressed it. Juan laughed and said I wasting her expression. The exhibition was finished early, Juan looked at her watch, less than four o'clock, it was still early to go back, pulled me and her to the park, in that era the park was a pair of young men and women in love, let me go to the park with her... I couldn't help but think wildly.
We took a group photo of the statue of Nezha Noisy Sea at the door, went to take pictures of tigers and poodle bears, sat in the pavilion in the middle of the lake for a while, and finally came to the elephant slide, the elephant slide is the memory of a generation, and people of Juan's era and I used to play on the elephant slide in People's Park when I was a child. We slid down the slide and I stopped Juan and told me to slide down first. Then she followed below, and she said she was so old that she wanted someone to follow. I told her that your clothes were so beautiful, I would slip first, give you a ride, and wipe them clean. Juan said I was stupid.
Juan slid down, a breath of youth struck me, I caught her in front of the slide, but did not let go, stupid look at her crimson face, a pair of black eyes like a pool of spring water. The hormones of youth were at work, and I had a dry mouth, a little fluttering, and hugged Juan tightly.
That day we rode a bicycle to take her to Ten Na to eat maple leaf noodles, one big and two small, she ate coriander, I ate it without coriander, Juan ate very Sven, I devoured it, and drank the soup. I live in the Shijiagou area, Juan lives on Lighthouse Road, I put the car at home, we walked, and sent her home. On the way we held hands, Juan's hand was very warm, I held Juan's hand, as if I could feel Juan's pulse beating, sent her downstairs, Juan gave me a deep hug, a long kiss. On the way back, I was dizzy, my feet were like stepping on marshmallows, riding the clouds and driving the fog, but my psychology was like overturning a honeypot, sweet and silky, the way home was not far, and I was full of happiness.
At that time, the houses were similar, there was no high-end community, there was no small high-rise, the highest family building was six or seven floors, Anyang that machine tool factory family courtyard built eight or nine floors, the original design to press the elevator, did not make it, the family climbed the stairs every day, complaining, it should be the highest family building. Juan asked me to go to her house today, bring my painting tools, and I went to Shizhuo early in the morning to buy some gouache paper and went directly to her. According to the agreed time, Juan waited for me downstairs. We used to paint together for those days, and there was her mother alone at home, and she said that her father often traveled on business, and that she and her mother were usually at home. I'm a bit restrained, this house is really big, there are a hundred square meters! We painted in her room, copying still lifes. Juan's mother brought some small snacks, snacks, tea and other things. Very politely tell me some of the parents of the short parents working there, a few people in the family, living there and so on, I only promised to answer, I felt that I was trying to judge prisoners. Every time I felt Juan's mother look at me strangely.
Later, I stopped going to her house, it felt very awkward, Juan was a very understanding girl, she never let me go to her house again, never forgot the first time she came to my house, my parents looked, as if Juan had gone wrong, standing in the doorway staring at people. After Juan came to my house to find me a few times, I rode on my little broken car, took her around the world, ran to the airport to fly kites, went to the tushan mountain in the water park to watch the sunset, visited the black market on North Avenue and Juan went to buy clothes, she tried one after another, asked me if I looked good, I laughed silly. Go to the Dongfanghong Cinema to watch a movie, buy fried blood cakes on North Avenue to eat, Juan eats a bite of her teeth and grins, she said she can't eat garlic. I asked her not to eat it, and she said I love to eat it, and if I can eat it, she can eat it too. I said I eat fart, you eat it, she was scared, and then chased after me, I avoided her and ran, ran through a department store, New Citizen Street, until I was out of breath, I couldn't run a butt sitting on the road teeth, the blood cake was still steaming, but the garlic was thrown away...
The weather is really good, the sun is shining, the temperature is twelve or thirteen degrees, not like the winter at all, I called Juan at the newsstand, the page did not return, and a few did not return, suddenly remembered that there was her landline phone above, I called, the phone was connected.
Frustrated, step by step to the house, my sister asked me what was wrong, I ignored it, closed the door, locked it, threw myself on the bed, picked up the pillow and pressed it my head.
Those few words were playing repeatedly in my head. 'Oh, it's you, X Juan is not there, I see you are a good boy, listen to your aunt, you don't have to contact again, you are still young, you have to focus on learning and painting, and there is, I think you... Inappropriate. ‘
After lying down for a day, I was powerless to get up in the afternoon, and my mother let me go to the Nanguan Coal Ball Factory to buy coal balls, and I borrowed a three-wheeler from the neighbor and took my sister with me. There are so many people, queued up for half a day to buy briquettes loaded with three wheels, I pedaled three wheels, my sister rode a bicycle to follow me, from time to time to push a three-wheeler, can not help anything, is a fart worm, speaking of with the fart worm, I suddenly remembered Xiao Min. Three rounds of death, there are many people on the road, and it is dark to arrive home. Along the way, the heart is empty.
Forgot to take the pager, go back and look, a dozen phones, all the same number, it shows that Juan made. My parents hadn't come back from work yet, so I washed the soot on my hands and went absent-mindedly to wash vegetables, cut vegetables, and cook. Mechanical, watching as I was chopping vegetables, my mind went blank. There was a sharp knock at the door, and Juan came. I was chopping vegetables nervously, the knife was cut on my fingers, and the blood was immediately flowing. After a moment of panic, Juan pulled the handkerchief that tied her hair from the ponytail and held my fingers, the blood quickly soaked the handkerchief, and I comforted Juan and said that it was all right.
Bandaging out of the health center, Juan said with tears in her eyes that you should not ignore me, and give you so many pages and will not return. I told her I was out pulling briquettes. Juan said that things through her know, today went shopping with classmates, did not hear my caller, after returning home to see, want to return, was said by her mother, her mother said that we will not come back after that, here Juan stopped. I knew in my heart that she didn't say what she said later, what her mother said to her, and what hurt her self-esteem Juan didn't say it, but I knew it in my heart. Alas, the door is not right, the gap between the two families is huge, and the parents of the girl will not agree.
Send Juan home, I walked home, the road is cold and windy, blowing cold, the heart is even colder, blowing away the thoughts in the heart, blowing away the brain is blank, the fingers are faintly painful, from the pants pocket to take out juan's bandaged handkerchief for me, tightly held in the hand, placed on the nose to sniff, faint sweetness.
When they got home, their parents sat on the couch and stared at the TV, which was not turned on, presumably the sister had told them what had just happened. I pulled a few mouthfuls of leftovers to my room, and the house was quiet. I could hear my father's sigh as he smoked, 'You child...
Juan came back again, sent me a bunch of Band-Aid, she smiled and said to me to let me increase some materials in the future, today's things are complaining about her, next time I will definitely reply to my text messages in time. Juan said I panicked if I couldn't find you. I said me too. I took her to the door and watched her ride in Armini's sports car through the night until I couldn't see a single shadow of her before I went home.
The father leaned his head back on the couch and murmured, 'You child, you are not worthy of anyone...
Opening the plastic bag, there are a bunch of Band-Aides, each of which is painted with a red pen with a heart-shaped pattern, looking at which Band-Aids, Juan's sweet smile appears in front of him, feeling that he is the happiest person in the world.
New Year is to walk around relatives, eat and drink, time also passed quickly, blink of an eye to the small year, after the small year will return to school, this day I first packed my bags back to school. The call rang out, and I rushed to see it, and there was a burst of joy in my heart. But see the above display, Xiaomin asked you to call back quickly. At the door phone booth I called back, XiaoMin told me that she was at the train station at the moment, I laughed and scolded her, nothing to find a fight, watch me start school to meet and beat you. She said on the phone that you have a California beef noodle at the train station, a three-in-one fast food next to it, and a red sorghum noodle restaurant on the north side of the train station. Oh my God, she's really here.
The bike was riding fast, and I fell again to avoid a woman on the road, and when I rushed to the train station with a gray face, I saw Xiao Min in the California beef noodle restaurant, sitting near the glass window, drinking a cup of hot milk tea. Xiao Min also saw me for the first time, and made a giggle, saying that I was crawling here? I made a gesture to hit her, laughed and scolded her for being so bold, and didn't say anything in advance when I came. Xiao Min said that their southerners are different from our northerners, their parents have been very independent since childhood, and many southerners go out to work everywhere at a young age.
We finished eating California beef noodles, and I found her a guest house to stay in. We looked at each other, and Xiao Min looked at me affectionately. She said she told her family that she would come to me when she returned to school early, and she said she wanted to see the city where I lived and wanted to see me even more. We talked a lot and I didn't go back until late. I told Xiao Min that I had a chance to go to your hometown too.
The next day I took Xiao Min around blindly for a day, and then secretly said that I had returned to school early. Then prepare to go back to school with Xiaomin. Just out of the door, I bumped into Juan, who came to look for me.
Seeing me pulling my suitcase with my backpack on my back, she asked me where I was going. I told her everything.
Juan pouted and looked a little ugly, "Go, take me with you." ‘
'Can you, your luggage?' I was overwhelmed.
She ignored me and went out and called a yellow-faced one, and I said you haven't bought a ticket yet. She said it wasn't important, got on the bus to make up the ticket, the luggage wasn't important, and called home to check it in. I didn't dare say anything, but I was full of joy and chased after it in three steps and two steps.
The two of us met in this way, we took a long-distance bus, took a train and guided the train in Zhengzhou. They sat in one row, and I sat in the other row with an unknown one. Soon after driving, the two of them chatted happily, and I, they seemed to forget that I existed.
There are still two or three days to go after returning to school, but there are already students returning to school one after another, and I am the first in our dormitory, and there is no one. Xiao Min and Juan chatted like sisters along the way, after arriving in Kaifeng, we both went to the Drum Tower to walk around, the two of us sat on a rickshaw, the tricycle took us both, from the school to the Drum Tower for five dollars. Tired of shopping, go to eat snacks, Xiao Min did not know from there to get a bottle of wine, proposed to drink a cup, today is exactly sixteen, Xiao Nian. Poured three glasses of wine, drank slowly, it was dark, set off fireworks, Xiao Min said how beautiful, said toast to us, and drank it. After a while we finished a bottle of wine, and I didn't have much to drink, and I felt feverish and dizzy. Juan's face was flushed, and her lips were red like lipstick, which was even more beautiful. Xiao Min's eyes were straight, she looked at me with her hands on her cheeks, looked at Juan, and suddenly said, 'You two look very matched, Juan, you are so beautiful, hey hey, I don't care, it's not fair... Fair play... Fair, competitive... Before he could finish speaking, he lay down on the table, drunk. Juan didn't tie a ponytail that day, a dark shiny shawl hair, one side of the hair covered her half-narrow face, she stared straight at me, looking at me a little panicked.
You're a big badass, not honest at all. Juan's long hair flew back, and tears flew out of her eyes, like crystal clear and shining diamonds.
We sat like this, and didn't speak, Juan looked up at the starry sky, the fireworks were long gone, and I looked at her silly. I don't know how long, Xiao Min woke up, she was frozen, shouted cold, I took off my coat and put it on her. Then say to them both, 'Cool down, let's go back'.
Looking at Juan again, she gave me a blank look. I hurriedly looked down, not daring to look at her.
I froze a breathable cool, and the next day I had a cold, a handful of snot and a handful of tears, and the uncomfortable sky turned dark. In the morning, I didn't have the strength to get up, I was already very hungry, and I slept in the morning and slept until the afternoon, when I was woken up from my coma, I opened my eyes to see that it was Xiao Min. She said that the day after tomorrow reported, there was no one in the dormitory, she came to me, saw that I was mentally weak, she touched my head and said that it was a little burning, and it was to find me a thermometer, and it was to boil water for me, and I was busy, and finally I told her, or buy me a bowl of instant noodles, I was almost hungry and shocked. Xiao Min said angrily that she was hungry and light, why didn't you let your fellow classmate Juan buy it for you, and asked me who Juan was good with her. Weakly, I said that you are all right, Xiao Min pretended to be angry to leave, and I quickly stopped her and said, 'Hello, hello.' ‘
Watch me finish eating a bowl of instant noodles, with two hams and a brine egg in it, just after a white steamed bun. Xiao Min, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, said that she had met Juan when she bought instant noodles at the store next to the school, and I quickly asked Xiao Min what Juan had gone to do. Xiao Min snorted and said that he would know in a moment, and then left. Xiao Min paused as she walked out the door and said, "You were really with Juan that day, don't avoid me, I can't stand it." ‘
I nodded my head slightly, feeling as uncomfortable as a cat's claw.
In the evening, Juan came, I was much better, Xiao Min left after I slept again, ate the instant noodles covered with a quilt out of a sweat, the cold forced out, the cold is much better. I sat up on the bedside and looked at her with delight, Juan sat next to me, and I held her hand tightly, afraid that she would disappear at once. Juan bought a lot of small foods and fruits, she asked me what I wanted to eat, I said I want to eat the apple she cut, she still cut a whole apple peel, long, handed me the apple for me to eat, I said too big for her to cut into small pieces to feed me, she glared at me and said why don't you let your little min sister feed you, yesterday also offered to take off your coat for people to wear, cold! The, frozen light. Juan said on her lips, or cut the apple into small pieces with a knife and fed it to me, while I still held her hand and held it, tears swirling in her eyes, asking Juan if you were afraid of a cold. Juan didn't understand it for a moment, I pulled her, she threw herself into my arms, we hugged each other and kissed for a long time.
Whether it is in life or study, many times, I will feel overwhelmed. I have to admit that the more people grow up, the more they miss the carefree days of their childhood, because they are ignorant and fearless when they are young, and they can hide under the wings of their parents, and happiness and sadness are much simpler. When you grow up, there are too many problems to face, too many responsibilities to bear, and the more people grow up, the simpler they want to live.
Plain days are like a cup of boiled water, so day by day passed, usually I and Juan are tired of being together, I will not be able to keep my soul when I don't see her, she is also single-mindedly good to me, when the junior year is about to graduate, grasp the graduation work, the students are busy and happy, and they can't sleep for a few hours a day. Juan is a perfectionist who has done several times the graduation work is always not satisfied, abandon one side and redo, I always feel that I am not doing well under her influence, there are several obsessive-compulsive disorders in the class, after class, we simply finish dinner, and then go back to the studio to continue to tinker.
Xiao Min's life was leisurely and leisurely, in her sophomore year, they often went to perform outside the school, and when they came back to the third year, they brought me back a bunch of strange snacks, called Shangjuan, and we sat on the grass of the university, like three moles eating endlessly. Juan and Xiaomin can talk more and more, she knows, in my heart has always treated Xiaomin as a friend, Juan said that Xiaomin is a very good girl, joking that I don't choose Xiaomin's brain to let the donkey kick. And I don't think it's ridiculous at all. Whenever Juan at this time coaxed me to say that I was angry with my eyes, although I didn't say it on my lips, I felt strange in my heart. But the feeling and Xiao Min are becoming more and more strange, the farthest distance in the world, is a familiar person, gradually becoming strange.
Juan's parents came to see her that day, had a special driver, and drove a black Santana. Juan asked me to go to dinner together, but I didn't go, and Juan was a little disappointed. I knew she wanted me to go, but from that phone call with her mother, I was afraid to see her again. The main thing is that the gap in the heart is too large, and there is a strong inferiority complex.
Juan asked Xiao Min to accompany her, and Xiao Min went, but halfway panicked and made an excuse to leave, and found me in the tavern in front of the school. I saw that he came and hurriedly hid the bottle in his arms, saying that he would not let her drink, last time he drank too much nonsense, there was no door on his mouth, Xiao Min pretended to rob me, and we giggled and laughed. At the neighboring table there were a few social youths who were flowing, about the same age as us, and four or five people drank a lot of liquor and beer. A young man asked Xiao Min to come over and said that I would not let Xiao Min drink, and they accompanied Xiao Min to drink. Xiao Min had a straightforward personality, gave them a blank look, and said let them go aside. A young man came up and tugged on Xiao Min's sleeve, and I pulled Xiao Min behind me to tell them not to mess around.
The next thing was guessed correctly, a punch on the bridge of the nose, a lot of blood, a bench on the head, smashed a pit, bleeding, but no stitches. Xiao Min and I walked out of the clinic, and Xiao Min looked at the gauze wrapped around my face, smiled, and said that I was like a seven-pin sesame officer. I scolded her for being more reserved in places where there were many people in the future. The more he talked, the angrier he became, tugging at his ear and lifting it up, and Xiao Min kicked me with his foot in pain. I pulled her, Xiao Min slipped under her feet and almost fell, I rushed to help her, Xiao Min hugged her firmly and said, 'I don't want to be friends with you'
A black Santana drove past, looking so familiar, I wanted to push Xiao Min away it was too late, Juan looked through the car window at me and Xiao Min hugged together, and two lines of tears poured out. I was stunned, everything seemed to be frozen somewhere, Xiao Min's affectionate embrace, Juan's tears, stunned me...
Less than a month before graduation, Juan hadn't spoken to me again, and I had tried countless times to explain it to her, and the moment she saw me in her sight, she was far away from me. Juan's personality I know, and then explain it is futile, that time to be taciturn, mechanically live every day, likewise, also hide from Xiao Min far away, and neither one pays attention to anyone.
Many units came to our school to recruit workers, and Xiao Min recruited a city in the south and became a music teacher. I could have been an art teacher, but I chose to go to a large advertising agency, the company in Beijing, and soon I will also leave for the north. When I was in the studio to pack up the painting utensils that I couldn't take away, I couldn't stay silent anymore, so I asked Juan when she was going to leave, and Juan whispered, 'Then you can also use your management'.
In the evening, I received a paging message from Juan asking me to wait for him at the entrance of the train station at three o'clock tomorrow afternoon. One night, I watched the pager several times, flipped over and over in excitement, and fell asleep at dawn.
When she saw Juan, she scowled and pouted, asking me why I was five minutes late again. I laughed and said there were too many people on the road. Juan said I was something without a conscience. My hands took her hands and gently leisurely, telling her not to be angry and telling her the reason for the events of that day. She touched my head and said, 'Does it still hurt?' I shook my head. We stood in hand holding hands, I held her hand tightly, Juan said you see my hand is red by you, I can still run. I asked Juan if you could not leave, and I regretted it after asking. Juan said she went there to see, not good to come back, the train came into the station, made a deafening hissing sound, I hugged Juan, Juan's tears rolled down my cheeks, flowed into my neck, hot and scalding, like her feelings for me.
'Wait for me to come back, don't let me down anymore,' Juan whispered in my ear.
I don't know when Xiao Min left school, the radio said that there was my letter, I took it to see when I learned that it was Xiao Min's letter, sent by the city, this guy can really be funny. Xiao Min said on the paper that she did not dare to face the scene of separation from me, afraid that she could not help but hug me, and said that if it were not for Juan, we would be fine, and said that she really should not teach me to play that damn guitar. I looked at the letter paper and smiled, and my heart was sour.
Working in Beijing is very hard, endless revision of the plan, but also from time to time to overtime, I am annoyed to be kidnapped, do not have my own lifestyle, there are great emotional fluctuations, the work results have been average. That year with QQ, we began to chat on the Internet, there was no correspondence, although it was much easier, although the distance was getting closer and closer, the feelings felt farther and farther away. Xiao Min seems to be very busy, busy with performances, sometimes can't say a few words a day, sometimes not say a word for several days, if you go to the countryside to comfort the performance, it is busier. Juan went to a public college in Zhangjiajie to teach art, Juan's major has always been at the top of the class, she said that Zhangjiajie is very beautiful, where she is going, there is a suitable place for human habitation. Juan took a lot of pictures and uploaded them to me from Q. He lives in the single dormitory assigned by the school, with one bedroom, one living room and one bathroom. The dormitory pressed the network cable for her, and she bought a computer herself. Every day, as soon as we have time, we rush to talk on the computer.
We lived every day like this, I lived in a place that could not catch up with Juan's treatment, six people lived in a three-bedroom apartment. I'm not used to sharing a room with someone else and have a small bed in the living room. I bought a second-hand computer, chatted with Juan until very late at night, not disturbing others, but also convenient. Fast forward to winter, and whenever winter comes, my heart misses them. When Juan was resting, she went to the mountains of Zhangjiajie to sketch, and I told her not to go too far. She said she followed someone else's tour group and stayed with the tour group in a hotel in the mountains too late. She takes her SLR camera with her and enjoys playing around her favorite places. Juan's photo attracted me, she was photographing in the scenic area of the mountains, and the rows of bacon hanging at the purchase point looked very familiar.
It was not easy to meet Xiao Min also online, I took the photo taken by Juan to let her see, excitedly asked her hometown is not in Zhangjiajie, there is the same as the bacon she gave me, Xiao Min said no, there is a chance to take you to my hometown to see, Xiao Min said that her hometown is also very beautiful. Xiao Min said that there was a handsome guy in their group who was chasing her. I suddenly didn't know what to say, and I didn't type a word on the keyboard for a long time. Xiao Min asked me what was wrong, and I said that I had dropped the line. I asked Xiao Min if she liked that handsome guy? There was silence for a long time, and after a while I replied to the message that she had also dropped the line. My feelings were so mixed, as if I had lost something I liked, very depressed, very lost. Later, we all became very sensitive, and when we talked about sensitive topics, we used the excuse of dropping the line to prevaricate. Therefore, either she dropped the line, or I dropped the line, we always dropped the line, and the number of disconnections was more and more, more and more diligent.
Juan sent a photo, Zhangjiajie snowed, she took a lot of snow scenes, Juan wearing a white down jacket, frozen puff face, smiling very sweetly. I told her it was snowing in Beijing too, intermittently for almost a month, and it seemed like the whole country was snowing in '99. The old sister of the family called and said that Anyang was the same. I bought a disc of Dawn and sent it to Juan, and the title song was (Dedicate My True Heart to You). Juan raps very well. She cried.
I also listened to crying, playing the guitar, drinking wine.
It was another year, my company holiday early, originally wanted to go to Zhangjiajie to find Juan, catch up with the Spring Festival ticket is not easy to buy, directly back to Anyang.
One day Juan called and said she was going to return to Anyang in advance in a few days. I inexplicably asked her what had happened, and she said to go back and talk about it. She said halfway, and I can't guess whether she was happy or worried.
Juan, almost at the speed of a 100-meter sprint, ran out of the station, and I helped her pick up her luggage and ride on the New Continent pedal I borrowed from my sister and take her with me. Juan asked her coquettishly if I thought she was. I said no. She said there was a new love mo? Haha laugh. Go and gently twist my ear again. I turned my head and kissed her, and she immediately became like a little sheep, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind, her head resting on my back, her face rubbing on my back a few times, laughing from the heart, and I felt like I was about to get drunk. In the air was the smell of Juan's long hair fluttering incense.
In the days after Juan came back, she ran to my house without a problem, and slowly became familiar with the people at home, my mother liked her very much, and the two of them forgot that there was another me. I see it in my eyes and I am happy in my heart. At new year's time, I fried the fish, fried one for her to eat first, she cut off the thorns on both sides, and fed me the fish. Juan said that there was bad news that his parents did not let her work in Zhangjiajie, on the grounds that this girl, who had been reluctant to go out for many years, had worked hard to arrange for her to work in a public institution in Anyang. After the year, I will report to the newspaper. At first glance, I was very happy in my heart, which seemed to Juan to be a bad thing, but it was a good thing for me, in fact, I didn't want her to be alone in the field. But then I thought again, public institutions! The gap between me and Juan suddenly became so big.
At new year's time, Chinese New Year's Eve, the whole family had a happy reunion dinner, and I sent a message to Juan in front of the computer. Wishing her a Happy New Year, she said a bunch of affectionate words. After saying that, I went to eat Chinese New Year's Eve meal, thinking of one thing, to surprise Juan. In my heart, I talked to my parents and sister about my future development ambitions, and I unconsciously drank a little dizzy. Just like my special talk show, my parents and sisters are my loyal fans. Sometimes attentive attention to listening to the lecture, sometimes laughing so much that people turn over on their horses, when it comes to emotional places, their eyes are hot and hot, looking at him and saying, 'Rest assured, our family's life will definitely get better and better'.
Chinese New Year's Eve night I slept soundly, and I dreamed that I was married to Juan, and in the dream Juan was wearing a big red satin cotton jacket, and I was wearing a Zhongshan suit.
The company assigned a phone Nokia 5110, half of the telephone bill reimbursement, a phone call six cents. I rarely use it to make phone calls, except for the people in the company, the family, and Juan and Xiaomin know. That day and classmates party, in the evening in the railway station red sorghum noodle restaurant a private room, everyone drank blushing thick neck. It was snowing heavily outside, the room was like a warm spring, I remembered that I used to be in the student dormitory, behind closed doors, secretly using the electric stove and the scene of classmates eating hot pot, the student's career was really good, and I couldn't help but sigh in my heart, that era can never go back. I thought of Xiao Min again, no longer the little Min who talked to me endlessly, the Internet is always a black and black avatar, sometimes she comes out lukewarm and talks to me a few times, and then may drop the line again...
The phone rang suddenly, waking me up from my memories, a strange number, still answered. The man's voice on the phone, bass, very good, asked me where I was, and he asked me for something to say. Who, I ask you? He said 'X Juan's brother'
I was stunned, my hand was shaking, and my phone almost fell out of the wine glass.
Melon face, white and pure, three or seven points of hairstyle, taller than me half a head, there is a meter eight bar, a handsome man, really like dawn ah. After he introduced himself very politely, he then went straight to the subject, 'Please don't pestering my sister in the future, you are not suitable, the family has already set a blind date with X Juan.' You won't have any results together, let it go'.
I was told another great truth, and I didn't say a word, and I smoked a cigarette with my head bowed.
After saying that, he didn't wait for me to speak, turned around and prepared to drive away, cold and arrogant, with a look of arrogance.
I was completely enraged, and I was almost drunk, and it felt like the whole long-suppressed feeling was about to explode. I yelled at his back hysterically, 'Isn't it great to have money and power?' I'm just going to be with Juan, and none of you should think about it. ‘
He turned his head and sped toward me, punching me in the face, and I saw Venus in my eyes, fell on the snow, and my glasses flew.
The classmates ran out of the hotel and gathered around him, ready to kick him. I yelled, 'Don't move, that's my relative'.
I let juan and his brother go, looked at the classmates who were looking at each other, and wiped the blood from their noses. That day I drank a painful, white beer red, the Third Plenum, drank and vomited, spit and drank.
I insisted on getting off at the lighthouse intersection, the snow was falling tightly, so beautiful, along the way I fell a few heels, passing in front of Juan's house, I looked up, her window was lit, I sat on the stone on the side of the road, looked at her window, smoked one cigarette after another, until the wine was gone, only to rub the sore arms and legs, thinking 'Go home, we love like a pair of thieves'.
On the way, the wind blew, the snow hit the face, and the tears merged together, frozen into ice stuck to the face, hot and spicy, and then there was no consciousness, just like my heart, at first it hurt, and then I couldn't feel its existence.
In the next few days, Juan did not go online again, did not call, did not come back to me...
Countless times I picked up the phone, put it down again, put it down, picked it up again, picked it up, put it down again...
Q, the message is long dozens of pages, no reply...
Standing in the doorway, anxious and helpless wandering in place, trip after trip, looking through...
Those days I always think about a problem, life is like a game of chess, once the chess piece falls, I can no longer regret the chess. In the past, winning and losing seemed to have been decided in the dark, and no matter how much struggle there was, it was pale and powerless. The only thing we can do is to take every step of our feet and play every move in front of us. I understand that I can make every ordinary present wonderful in order to leave the most beautiful memories for the future, but now I am so helpless, like a recruit egg who was suddenly pushed to the front line, panicked, busy... Don't know how to deal with it.
For a few days, I borrowed wine to pour sorrow, often making myself tired, drunk unconscious, and broken head and bleeding. Flipping through our Q chat history, so sweet, looking at it over and over again, closing the door and closing itself off. Pulling open the drawer, there was a small Jintai mooncake iron box, opened the iron box, which contained some important things except for me, and the last time I cut the knife hand, Juan wrapped my hands, and she tied her hair with a handkerchief. The faint daffodil pattern on the handkerchief is like Juan, delicate and delicate, reserved and generous. Curled up and lying down, holding the handkerchief with both hands on the side, I felt very cold, very cold... Unconsciously fell asleep, woke up in the middle of the night, tears wet the pillowcase.
In the family's nagging all day, the vacation was over. That day, I got up early, made breakfast for the family, cleaned up, packed up my bags and went back to Beijing.
Under the stunned gaze of the family, I smiled bitterly at him and said, 'Rest assured, I'm fine, I'm a man', and then slapped my chest hard and snapped.
Sometimes I feel like a child in the sun, like an adult in the wind and rain!
Life is traceless, I don't know what will happen in the next moment, what can be done is to work hard to exercise myself, how I hope I have the ability to carry the baptism of wind and rain, to support a clear sky for my family, but also to enjoy the quiet years, and love people to enjoy fireworks in the world, life is enough!
The brain is not good, forgot to take the mobile phone charger, the day before it was not charged, not long after getting on the train, there was no electricity, no bar, non-stop. It's not commonly used anyway. But I was still lucky to hope that Juan would send a text message.
After getting off the train to the accommodation, I hurriedly looked for a charger, casually opened the computer, logged in to Q in a hurry, opened the mobile phone and rang non-stop, and the Q prompt tone on the computer over there also rang non-stop. The text messages on the phone and the messages on Q were sent by Juan. She asked me where I was, and just by looking at the words you could feel her burning mood. I hurriedly returned to her mobile phone for a short message, saying that I was back in Beijing, and there was an immediate call from there. Juan was sobby on the phone, saying don't let me think about it, she was sitting on the train to Beijing.
We met at the West Railway Station, her hair still so neatly combed and wearing a ponytail with butterfly flowers, and I knew she was dressing this way on purpose, because I liked it. Juan's eyes were red, her little face had two clear tear marks, and her haggard face hurt so much that my heart hurt. Juan wanted to say something, a mouth suddenly choked up, and then cried out, she quickly bit her lip to prevent herself from crying, but her body was trembling.
Lovingly, I took her hand and walked out of the station side by side, found a quiet fast food restaurant with few people, and asked for two hot drinks. Juan told me the reason for the incident. Because she didn't want us to be together, Juan and her mother had a heated argument at home, and her mother pulled out her computer cable and confiscated her phone. Locked her up at home for several days, watching her every day and not letting her out. I listened to her and had mixed feelings in my heart, and I really didn't expect her to run to Beijing to find me. Juan then said that her formalities were all done, quit her job in Zhangjiajie, now an Institution in Anyang works, the first day of work yesterday, the mobile phone was also given to her, he promised that the family would not interact with me, she got the mobile phone she sent me a text message for the first time, sent me a message on the computer. But I didn't come back, I went to my house to find me, and the family told her that I had returned to Beijing, and the phone call to me was turned off. I told her it wasn't turned off, it was out of power.
Juan asked me what was wrong with the swollen patch of my face, and I laughed bitterly, saying that his brother had found it and hit it. He grabbed the phone and was about to call, and I stopped her, 'Turn the page, don't mention it, I scolded him first.' I gave myself a round field, not wanting to see Juan in the middle. Juan's tears snapped, snapped and fell, falling into the hot drink cup, just like breaking the calm lake surface and hitting the layers of ripples. Juan didn't want to go home, but don't help me, I bought a ticket for the return trip, let her go back to Anyang, said a girl, her parents will worry about her. In fact, I was more afraid that the people in her family would find my house. Before getting into the car, she told me she was tired, and I didn't know how to answer, smiling bitterly in embarrassment. The train drove away, and did not come out of the station until it could not be seen, and it walked very slowly, very slowly, and its legs seemed to be filled with lead.
Thinking wildly in my head, there was a pit in front of me that I didn't see, so I plunged into it and fell, my chin slammed on the handlebar, cracked a big hole, and went to the hospital for seven or eight stitches. The pain of the jaw is the stakes, swollen out of the double chin, and Juan on the Internet video she is painfully wiping tears, I can not watch her cry, a cry in the heart is very chaotic, I talk whimpering, mouth pain of the stakes. Juan saw it and broke into a smile, she said that if you are like this, no one will like you in the future. I typed for her, 'It's okay with others, as long as you don't bother'. She also said that it was tiring to be with you, but very happy. I whimpered and said that I was also tired and happy, two people thousands of miles apart, across the screen you looked at me, I looked at you, for a moment to wipe my eyes
Tears, a silly laugh.
When she was there, she thought that there was always a chance to meet, but in fact, life is subtraction, and there is less side to see.
Juan said that his parents introduced him to an object and forced him to meet, saying that the other family's conditions were very good, and he could not help but be the second generation of officials, and the family was still very rich. I couldn't help but laugh bitterly, whether this was marrying a girlfriend or selling a girlfriend.
No rest to go to work, arms and legs are fine, improper work, the boss is good, very take care of us, can not eat idle meals, more work to repay people. I go very early every day, after work and then spontaneous overtime shifts, anyway, I am also a person, and there is no point in going back. Then I found a part-time job, did tutoring interest classes, rode to interest classes every day after work, rode back at ten o'clock at night, rode back on the road for an hour, went back sometimes without washing and fell asleep, sometimes woke up in the middle of the night, look at the mobile phone has Juan's missed calls and text messages, too tired, sleep too dead, did not hear. After this situation was caused several times, Juan asked me if I didn't want to ignore her, saying that I was too tired to be with her. That day I was angry with her for the first time, I said your family is not said, to take your basic to have a new house, I work two jobs a day, I am exhausted, originally I did not want this, I want to buy a house, want to take you with you, no room, your mother can agree ah! I saw Juan's frightened big beautiful eyes in the video, wiping her tears and typing that I was now angry with her, knowing that I didn't want to be with her, and if it was, I didn't have to deliberately snub her.
Feeling angry, I said she was incomprehensible, angrily closed the computer, pulled off the camera, and threw it to the side.
After a while, Juan sent a mobile phone message to apologize to me, I looked at the mobile phone, Liangjiu replied, 'Rest early, I have time to talk to you, I don't want to open the computer, today is too tired'
Just like that, you one, I one, texting on the phone I fell asleep, if it wasn't for the watchbell set in the morning, I think I could sleep until night. Day after day, the same boring work, when our company required the renderings to be drawn by hand, and it was very tiring to draw a day, but I still drew each rendering with my heart and mind. After work also to do interest classes, take time to send messages to Juan, originally thought we would go through that quarrel feelings cracked, who knows it is better, every hour and every second is missing her, thinking of her when sending her messages, she is the first time back, it seems that her work is not too busy.
One day Juan called and said that her family urged her to meet again, or the one mentioned last time, she said that she did not want to make trouble with the family, so that the family was embarrassed again, and went to see. I said see you and stop making trouble for the family. Juan said that she began to save money, did not buy clothes or snacks, saved money to buy a house with me, and when we bought a house, we would get married. I was silent, and she asked me if I was listening, and I said I didn't know what to say, and it was so hard for you to do so much, and I felt bad in my heart. Yeah, Juan is a pretty girl who doesn't even buy clothes or snacks, she doesn't do it for what I can do.
One day, my mother called, my sister was admitted to college, I was more worried about the place to use money, the family was not rich, the father had long been laid off, the health was not good for many years to take medicine, when I remember, in the impression that he was a medicine jar, but also stubborn, the doctor let him quit smoking and alcohol, how many years he did not quit a day. Find a construction site to show people yards, a day off, but also very hard, the salary is not high, my mother also did accounting in the factory, these years I went to school did not spend less money, my sister once she went to college The burden is greater. Sister said no, she didn't go to college, working to support our parents, I heard an emergency, scolded her this is not her worries, do a good job of studying, even if you repay our parents, money matters, we can't afford to provide for you! I was doing design in the company plus interest classes a month also had an income of four or five thousand, and at that time there were quite a lot, for my sister to go to school, I could do it alone, but when I thought about buying a house with Juan, I couldn't do anything.
After three months of persistence, my physical fitness was not too good, and the pressure was too great, and I fell ill. Lying on the bed with a high fever and not willing to move, he called Juan to turn off the phone, which was a bit inexplicable. After lying down for a day, I was so hungry, I remembered the instant noodle ham that Xiao Min made for me, which was called Xiang. I couldn't help but dial Xiao Min's phone. As soon as the phone rang, Xiao Min answered, she said that I was quite rare, how to think of calling her. I said I had a cold and fever and found someone to talk to, I haven't eaten yet, and I think of your instant noodle ham. Xiao Min smiled and said look, I said so rare! It turned out to be conscience that had discovered. There has been no contact, we talked for a long time, I asked Xiao Min and the handsome guy who chased her, Xiao Min laughed more exaggerated, said that there is something, is to anger you, see what reaction you have, and sure enough, as I thought, no conscience, from now on do not listen to ask. I laughed hard and laughed that she was still a child with a temper and couldn't change it. Xiao Min asked me how I was with Juan. I said fine, we all miss you. After saying this, it feels a little inappropriate, and I want to change the topic immediately and prevaricate. Xiao Min asked, 'Have you ever thought about me?' ‘
The chat with Xiao Min ended with a few cursory words, and I lied that my company friends had come to see me and came back to talk. Putting down the phone, I couldn't answer Xiaomin's question, and I didn't know how to answer it.
The call came, it was Juan's, and she said my phone had been busy and had been calling me for half an hour. I quickly asked her where she called you to shut down. She said she didn't dare to go back, she couldn't call you when she went back, and she wandered downstairs! Freezing is freezing to death. A warm current crossed my heart, telling her to hurry home without saying anything. After a while Juan sent a text message, saying that there was something to say don't get angry, saying that today I went to see a movie with the second generation, that person made an appointment with her many times, she refused, and the second generation asked the introducer to tell her mother that her mother let her go to meet the second generation, there was no way she went. My heart was strangely calm, not a little sad, I gave Juan a message back, it's okay, I believe you.
After an extra day shift, I called my colleagues home together when I got off work, and we lived together. He said let me go back first, he had to work overtime to chase the drama, saying that the company was fast. There is a Japanese drama on the computer, I can't understand it, I laughed and said you boy is very harri, he scorned me and said I am old, this TV series was on fire for a while a few years ago, at that time I wanted to watch it and couldn't watch it, it was broadcast once on TV, and now there is a network, I want to see it conveniently, he said he wants to relive the classics. I asked curiously what this Japanese drama was called, and it was so good to watch. He said it was called 101 marriage proposals. Between the electric light and flint I suddenly remembered the name, yes, Xiao Min mentioned, she said I had time to watch Japanese dramas, 101 marriage proposals. Is there any moral to it?
All the brilliance that has been in life will eventually be repaid with loneliness; life is a solo journey, and the real maturity is not how good you are at communicating with people, but knowing how to shake hands with loneliness. Loneliness is preceded by confusion, and loneliness is followed by growth.
I woke up in the morning and found myself lying asleep in front of the computer. If it weren't for my colleagues getting up to wash up and wake me up, I would still be asleep! I picked up my spirits and then rode to work, thinking back to the 101 marriage proposals I watched yesterday in the Japanese drama, a total of five episodes, each episode for an hour, I watched two episodes at twelve o'clock. Left a message for Juan did not reply, I thought wait for her, opened a game of Warcraft, played a blur in front of my eyes, and finally slept with my computer desk in my arms. Recalling this Japanese drama is quite touching, very funny, and indeed very exciting, but Xiao Min's resolute eyes said to me that I must see, what is the highlight? Why didn't Juan reply to the message all night, what was wrong, with a stomach full of doubts, looked at the watch, and rushed to work.
Drawing renderings are tired, painting a while to take a break, waist sore back pain, although I know that smoking is not good, but still inseparable, use it to relax, hard work, tense nerves. Just sat down to light a cigarette, Juan's phone called directly, I hurriedly picked it up and answered. She said that yesterday her mother and the second generation of his mother met, the two old women went to dinner, chatted for a long time before coming back, Juan her mother had to take her, she could not help her mother, only to go. The second generation of his mother said that their son could meet Juan, and said that he also treated Juan from the heart, juan said that he said that he had said a lot and forgot about it later. At that time, I didn't go, and I didn't sit there, and I was impatient. Juan said that he did not dare to tell me, yesterday and her mother on the way home on the way out of the quarrel is very profitable, she said that she showed her attitude not to marry, angry her mother suddenly bloated and sick, pulled to the hospital. I asked Juan how her mother was, and Juan said that her mother was sick and could not be angry. Juan said she spent the night in the hospital, which would replace her with his brother. Juan couldn't cry on the phone, I comforted her to let her listen to her mother's words, even if we can't succeed, we can't be angry with your mother, that's your dearest person, she is also for your own good. Before I could finish speaking, Juan angrily withdrew the phone.
Sitting on the overpass, the warm spring wind blew my hair, blew my heart, and blew away my soul. I lit a cigarette and smoked it, and a beggar next to me held out his hand to me, I looked at him, took out a cigarette and threw it at him, and the beggar reached out and picked it up very accurately. I fiddled with my phone and flipped through the text messages sent by Juan an hour ago' 'I defend our love in front, but you want to be a deserter, I am disappointed, disappointed, except for heartache or heartache'
A train flew by, the ground was shaking, and I roared at my train, which made a deafening whistle that drowned out my voice.
Wiped a handful of tears, went back, what can I do! Like you, I am disappointed and heartbroken. It hurts and hurts.
Sitting in front of the computer, a bottle of wine, a box of cigarettes, a simple meat and vegetarian spelling, send a message to Juan to ask if her mother is better. Juan will be a long time, saying that the old problem, tomorrow will be discharged, the doctor said that can no longer be excited. Also said she was okay and didn't have to worry. Let me take care of myself. My mind relaxed a little bit. Watching 101 marriage proposals, while watching, while drinking wine, seeing the deepest tears and laughter with the actors. The remaining three levels were all read, a bottle of wine and I went to the bottom, drunk, but very conscious. The sky is spinning around, the mobile phone typing is ghosted, I struggled to squint my eyes and sent a message to Xiao Min '101 marriage proposals I finished, completely understood'
Summer is coming, it's my turn to take a break, reimbursement of round-trip tickets, very good. Back in the city I was dreaming about, I took a deep breath, and the air smelled of people I thought about day and night.
And Juan contact, go to Juan to work at the door to wait for her, although I know that Juan's unit is very good, but still very surprised, the building is so high, the yard is really big, there are security guards standing guard at the door, the door is a parked car. Juan walked out quickly from work and saw me waving happily. At the door santana urban golf open door open down a person, tall and burly figure, dark neat little head, white monty petite shirt, a pair of trousers, black leather shoes polished clear tiles, a look at this person is not small. The man also waved to Juan, and Juan saw that his face changed suddenly, pulled a face to say a few words to the man, turned his head and walked quickly to me and said, 'Quick, take me away, hurry up'.
As I guessed, that person was the second generation who chased Juan. I drove the New Continent pedal with Juan aimlessly, I asked Juan to go there, Juan said it was okay to go there, to a place where no one else could find us. I smiled and took her to Angang as soon as I refueled. Put the motorcycle in the Children's Palace, we go to eat the spicy hot, Juan likes to eat spicy, I also like to eat spicy, Juan said that we are a family, can eat a pot of rice. Angang's spicy hot taste is very good, a wasted rice cooker liner, below a briquette fire, the pot is opened, the briquette stove is plugged with points, do not have to change, slowly simmered small live, very delicious. Juan said that compared to the spicy hot in Kaifeng, she asked me if I remember Xiao Min also liked to eat spicy hot, we both went to eat, Xiao Min likes to eat duck blood, Xiao Min said that her hometown fans put duck blood, it is also very delicious!
I saw Xiao Min's well-behaved appearance in front of my eyes, and replied with a bitter smile, 'It's been a long time, I can't remember clearly'.
I lay in bed, thinking about riding a motorcycle on the way back, and Juan lay on my back, put her hands around my waist, and told me that she had saved ten thousand dollars.
With a bank card in my hand, I looked at it over and over again. This is my salary card, most of my family, for my sister to go to school, every month down in addition to subsidizing the family, but also to save more than two thousand, the mind is looking forward to living a good life with Juan, full of confidence. The next day was Saturday, Juan came to see me early in the morning, I had not yet gotten up, she pinched my nose to wake me up, smiled happily and said that she had just gone to Weidong to buy a lot of snacks, and today you drove a motorcycle to take me to Pearl Spring to play. When we went out, my parents smiled and said hello to Juan, sent us downstairs, and my mother watched juan sit on my motorcycle with pity in her eyes and ran away with a cigarette.
I bought a watermelon, and we soaked in the spring water of Pearl Spring, and there were people swimming, and the spring water was crystal clear, grunting and bubbling from the water weeds at the bottom of the water, like a string of pearls. Juan and I took off our sandals and socks, and I pulled up my pant legs and soaked my feet in the water, so cool, like soaking in a cold beer. Juan was wearing an apricot yellow dress, or bought last year, I was touched in my heart, full of guilt and told her not to treat herself badly in the future, I should buy clothes, in another year, two years, our money will be enough, counting that we can not only buy a house but also get married. Juan was very happy and said that it was much better than she thought. We chatted happily, nibbling on the spring water after soaking, cold, cold watermelon, sweet silk, cool silky, like Juan's kiss.
At noon we snuggled up lazily, fell asleep on the rocks, and woke up at one o'clock in the afternoon. I rode a motorcycle with Juan and we ran to Leikou to see the Tang Pagoda, we are all art students, impressed by the exquisite carvings of the Tang Pagoda, the Tang Pagoda is like a graceful and luxurious imperial concubine, so that people who appreciate it have respect and praise from the heart. The two of us watched around the Tang Pagoda for a long, long time. On the way back, our motorcycles ran out of oil, the roadside was full of roaring cars, there were no street lights on the road, I pushed the motorcycle, looked at the nervous Juan, asked her if she was afraid, Juan said that as long as she was with me, she was not afraid of anything. We pushed the motorcycle for an hour before we found a gas station on the side of the road, like Columbus discovered a new continent and was happy to be ruined. Fill up the oil and drive back, along the way the cool summer wind blows the heart is pleasant, very smooth, very comfortable, in fact, the key is Juan is around.
At my door, unable to say it, she took a bank card out of her bag and said to put it with mine. I couldn't find my phone again, and then I remembered that the phone didn't ring one day. Juan said she vaguely remembered going out of my house in the morning and glanced at the phone. I asked her to go upstairs with her.
When I took the key to open the door, there was no lock, and the coughing sound of my father was heard inside, and a strong smell of inferior cigarettes came when I opened the door. The atmosphere seemed to be different kind of solemnity, there was no greeting from the parents immediately, with Juan's surprised exclamation. I took a closer look, and there were a few people sitting in the living room, with parents, and two unknowns, a man and a woman, about the same age as my parents. I heard Juan timidly shout, 'Mommy and Daddy, how are you coming?'
Juan's parents sat on the couch, tea in front of them, and Juan's mobile phone. The tea did not move. They looked straight at me.
They took Juan away, without too much language, looking at my parents' expressions, it should be that before Juan and I came, they all talked very thoroughly. Our family sent Juan's family downstairs, only to see Juan's brother driving to the side of the road waiting. His brother nodded at me, and I smiled politely, a very polite person, not knowing why I was so angry that day. Watch Juan get into the car, be taken away, and disappear into the night.
My parents had gone back early, and I was leaning on the telephone pole on the side of the road, smoking a cigarette, feeling as confused and helpless as if my body and mind had been hollowed out.
Lifted a bundle of beer, sat under the street lamp, leaned back to the neck is more than half a bottle, holding the mobile phone in his hand and looking at it in a daze, hoping for something...
One night, Juan did not reply to the message, until the bundle of beer was drunk, half a box of cigarettes after I smoked I shook back, fell on the bed, put on headphones and played Jacky Cheung's song, a song of goodnight, repeated play, I don't know how many tears were shed.
Awakened by the phone, hurriedly answered the phone, the wine has been half awake, but the nose is still breathing out of the strong smell of alcohol, dry mouth. The phone showed that Juan was calling, and the moment she went to press the phone, she hung up the phone again. Look again, send a text message saying don't call back, the phone is in hand, send a short breath to talk. Juanhu and I texted only to learn that his parents had gone back and confiscated her phone, and she had secretly brought it again in the middle of the night. She said that she had not slept, and when she went back, her parents said that the second generation had sent the bride price money on an auspicious day in the past few days, and said that she had just talked to her mother, and her mother was short of breath and had a bad chest and shortness of breath, and she ignored her after eating the heart-saving pills. I cried and laughed, wanted to cry without tears, groped in the dark to find the ashtray, looked for a half-cut head, and groped to find the lighter to light, took a deep breath, one hand stroking the hair, and smiled nervously.
I sent Juan back a message, 'Fifty years from now, will you still love me as much as you do today?'
The face of Juan replied with a message, 'I don't know, but please be realistic! No house, they won't let us get married'
The trembling hand, turned off, did not reply to Juan's message. In the hot summer, I don't feel hot at all, my whole body is cool, and my heart is even cooler.
Xiao Min called and said that she was going to Beijing for a business trip next month and asked me if I would return to Beijing. I said my vacation had arrived early, you were going next month, and I was in Beijing. Xiao Min said good, see you next month. I told Xiaomin that I had watched the Japanese drama 101 times and proposed marriage. The other party was silent for a few seconds, and then said to Beijing and invited me to drink a big drink. I subconsciously touched my head and said I didn't dare give you a drink. There was a cheerful laugh from Xiao Min. I also laughed, feeling that the depressed mood after a few days was better.
On the first day of returning to Beijing, I asked Juan to go to Happy Fast Food with me, and Juan said don't ride a bicycle, come back and walk together. Having said a point, the two of us gathered at Happy Fast Food. I ordered her favorite dried fried fish and sweet and sour tenderloin, and she ordered my favorite pot piglet hands and beans with sesame sauce. Juan said that the second generation went to give the bride price yesterday, and her parents accepted it, thirty thousand yuan. Hearing Juan say this, my hand shook, and the chopsticks with the vegetables fell on the table. I said thirty thousand pieces and sold you? Juan said with a silent expression plus a set of two-story bungalows in the development zone. Juan said that the other party said it, agreed to send another 50,000 dowry, and also emphasized that Juan's work would be transferred to a better unit. I smiled bitterly and shook my head, pushed away the juice in front of me, and beckoned the waiter to ask for a bottle of liquor. Pour a full cup, take a big sip, take a cigarette from your pocket, take a hard sip, and then ask Juan what you plan to do later.
Juan said that she could have any plans, and she would not agree to die anyway. She watched me drink silently, the dish barely moving, and drank most of the bottle. The two men didn't say a few words, and Juan lowered her head and looked straight ahead, not knowing where to look. I felt like we were suddenly strangers.
The way back was not far or close, but it felt very close, and it didn't take long to walk downstairs to her house. Only then did we find out that we had walked all the way and had not said a few words. Juan suddenly said that the dishes just now were wasted without eating, this will walk hungry, there is a sale of Oden boiled spicy hot skewers at the door, she also wanted some, I asked for two bottles of beer. Juan ate quite fragrant, I drank beer, Juan seemed to be in a relaxed mood, asked me if I want to see the movie Lord of the Rings tomorrow, I dried up the rest of the beer and said no, said that today is very tired, went back to sleep, and said to Juan don't force yourself, think more for your mother, promise this marriage! After saying that, I got up and walked away without looking back.
'You bastard... Come back. Juan called me behind me.
I didn't dare look back, she couldn't see, I had tears on my face.
I didn't see juan for a few days, and on the day I returned to Beijing, she took me to the station. Hugged me tightly, we still didn't have a few words. But her heart was like a knife cutting, and Juan's heart was equally uncomfortable!
After returning to Beijing for more than ten days, XiaoMin came to Beijing on a business trip, and I didn't see her for two years, I thought about her appearance a thousand times, thinking about whether she would change, but when we met, I was still shocked by her changes. Xiao Min grew her long hair and big waves, matured a lot, and was more beautiful. I said why did she have long hair and still burn like this, she said I don't like Wu Qianlian's long hair big waves! She also said that she also liked Wu Qianlian, and she was not alone. Little Min laughed, so sunny.
I invited Xiaomin to eat roast duck, Xiaomin ate very happily, we had a good chat, and drank very happily. We reminisced about the bits and pieces of our university life, talked about everything that happened around us, and carefully recalled, afraid of missing something. Xiao Min said that time is a good thing, you can forget a lot of things, good and bad, as long as you don't remember, you can forget the light, saying that the years are like a gust of wind, I hope the wind passes without a trace. Xiao Min asked me when Juan and I would get married, and she waited to drink the happy wine. I smiled bitterly and lit a cigarette and took a hard sip, I hoped the smoke would envelop me so well, I didn't want Xiao Min to see my pained expression. Unable to resist Xiao Min's questioning, I told Xiao Min a clear story about what happened to Hejuan.
After eating, I went to pay the bill, Xiao Min beckoned and said that she had already married, saying that she would save your two small money! I was surprised to ask Xiaomin if her salary was quite high? Xiao Min said that she quit her job after two months of work, and now she is in the clothing business, her family has been doing clothing processing since she was a child, and she just continued to do the family business. She said that this time she came to Beijing to attend the order meeting, and she would leave in three or five days. These days are busy, come back and contact again.
Out of the door of the hotel, Xiao Min made a call, and the manufacturer arranged for someone to pick up. We stood you and I talked one by one, and the car came to pick up Xiao Min in a short while. Before Getting into the car, Xiao Min asked me if my feelings for Juan could remain unchanged for fifty years. I was silent for a moment and said yes. Xiao Min looked at me meaningfully and said that her feelings had not changed, and she would have it too. I knew what she meant and was moved to watch her get in the car and leave.
In the morning, Juan suddenly called, impatient to speak out of breath, I asked her what was wrong, let him slow down and say. Juan breathed a sigh of relief and said that her mother and the second generation of his mother had discussed letting her get eleven married. I said then what? Juan said that she did not agree to have a fierce quarrel with her mother, and then Juan and her mother were in a hurry, and the heart bloating disease was committed again. I rushed to ask Juan then what? Juan said that she was sent to the hospital, and when she arrived at the hospital, she had a stent and an acute myocardial infarction. I was surprised to ask Juan how serious things are? Juan said that she did not dare to make her mother angry anymore, when her father and her brother were on a business trip, she was panicking, thanks to the second generation to call her and send her mother to the hospital. When I heard Juan use the two words of Hard Loss, my heart clucked, and a heart seemed to fall into a black hole. I comforted Juan not to panic, take good care of the old man, and don't bump into her mother anymore, it was too scary. Juan was responding hmmm on the other end of the phone, and I felt her trembling.
I call Juan at least three times a day to pay attention to how her mother's condition is, Juan said that she can be discharged from the hospital after a week of staying, and the doctor said that fortunately you sent it in time, or the consequences would be quite serious. I asked him what happened to the second generation? She said don't let me think about it, I gave a sigh of relief, and talked about it here, juan hung up the phone.
Xiao Min was so busy that she only contacted me the day before leaving and came directly to the company to find me. Later, my colleague said that Xiao Min's beautiful beauty was not my object, and I said that it was my brother. The colleague said if I could introduce it to them, and I glanced at them and said don't even think about it.
I took a leave of absence and Xiao Min went to the Great Wall, the weather is a bit hot, my backpack is carrying mineral water, Xiao Min said I can really save, buy it on the top, not too tired, I smiled, but in my heart said that the things of the scenic spots are so expensive, too wasteful, can save money on it, buy a house is important.
Climbing the Great Wall is really tiring, but Xiao Min seems to have endless energy, like a monkey jumping up and down, white t-shirt, light blue jeans, white sneakers. The big wave tied it with a handkerchief and tied it with a bow. What a familiar bow, Juan knew I liked, often helping to lift the ponytail, handkerchief to tie the bow.
As the sun sets, the earth is orange-red. The breeze blows with a hint of coolness, and Xiao Min said that it is a little cold to go back. When I went down the stairs, Xiao Min's legs twisted a little, and she grinned in pain, so I had to support her. Xiao Min suddenly threw away my hand and threw herself into my arms, I didn't know what to do.
Xiao Min said to hug me tightly, and after saying that, I was even tighter. She asked me, 'Juan's bow is good, or is my bow good?'
Xiao Min returned to her hometown, and when she left, she was in a hurry, and the manufacturer sent her. I always feel that something has been forgotten, but I can't remember it. Finally, I inadvertently remembered it and forgot to ask Where Xiao Min's hometown was.
After entering the late autumn, the weather was very cold, I bought an electric car AUCMA, rode to work every day, and took the charger to the company to charge, otherwise I couldn't go back. The temperature difference every day was very large, it was cold in the morning and evening, and I was wrapped in the scarf that Xiao Min had given me, which was very warm. Colleagues said that my scarf was very old-fashioned and lagged behind. But I don't think so.
Juan's messages and phone calls gradually decreased from countless times a day, to several a day, and then sometimes simply did not, living is also a simple few words of greeting, cold language has not felt any enthusiasm, every time I answer the phone heart is like being pierced by an awl.
And I often buy some small dishes after work, watch the 101 marriage proposals over and over again, so that even the lines of the plot are cooked, always moved to tears, drunk like mud, and fall asleep under the anesthesia of alcohol. I can always dream of the classic dialogue of the male and female protagonists in the play.
The female protagonist cried and asked the male protagonist ' Will you still love me in fifty years'
The male protagonist raised his hand in tears, 'I swear, my love for you, fifty years unchanged'
It snowed in the morning, and the mood of watching the snow in the sky became extraordinarily reserved. I squeezed the bus to work, went out early, and bought pancake fruit and soy milk on the side of the road, and came to the same one. Eating and drinking and watching the snow, very happy. I love the snow. I didn't squeeze the bus after work and walked back. Stepping on the white snow, making a creaking sound, a long-lost sound, exactly the same as the sound of stepping on the snow on a college campus, recalling the unspeakable taste in my heart in the past, sighing deeply, and never going back. Walking on the snow, the sky is gradually getting dark, the lanterns look at thousands of households at the beginning, the heart feels very poignant, a person in the field, in fact, very good, at least after work time is their own, a person quiet, very good. Just as she was thinking about it, Juan called, and she said that there were fifty thousand more sent from the other end, and he was transferring his work, and Juan was silent at this point. I asked then what? Juan said that she had been deadlocked with her family for a long time, washing her face with tears every day, no one wanted to talk to anyone, and she couldn't bear to talk to me, and when she spoke, she wanted to cry, afraid that I would be sad. I haven't heard Juan's phone for a long time, and I feel very happy to hear her voice, no matter what kind of topic it is. I asked her what happened later?
Juan said that she plucked up the courage that day, took out the thick dowry money from her mother's money cabinet at home, and then went to find the second generation to return to him, and when he found the second generation, he was drinking and eating with his friends, and he was very happy to see Juan coming. When he received the dowry money given by Juan, his emotions suddenly became very excited, and he punched him...
I quickly asked, hit there? On your body, on the wall?
Juan said silently, 'Hit the glass...... ‘
We were all silent, silent for a long time.
The whole snowy night was so quiet, as if you could hear juan's tears, wading across her delicate face and dripping on the ground.
For a long time, I asked Juan in a deep voice, and then what?
Juan said that she was frightened at the time, and he and his friend took him to the hospital for treatment, stitched more than thirty stitches, and then infused for a few days, all of which Juan accompanied him. Juan said that the second generation told him that he would not get her heart no matter what, right? Juan said she didn't answer and was silent.
Juan and I fell into silence for a long time, and I don't know what to say? I tugged at my phone tightly, and my palms were sweaty. For a long time I asked Juan how her mother was doing? Juan said that if you are not angry, you will not be sick. I sighed, Juan said just like that, downstairs, back to the house. I sighed.
The company expanded its operations and opened branches in the southern and northern Jiangsu regions, and I was sent to supervise the design of this piece. I will leave next month and go to Yangzhou. After two years in Beijing, I still like the city, every year it snows, it snows for a long time, the city has too many thoughts and feelings in it, and I left immediately, a little sad. I picked up the phone and was ready to call Juan, when the phone on my desk rang, and it was Juan who called. The other end of the phone Juan calmly asked me how to be okay, I said these days are OK, I am about to leave for Yangzhou, I am trying to call you? We talked like this, talking tepidly, lukewarmly, and felt a lot strange. Juan asked me if I would hate her if we broke up, and I felt a pang in my heart, stunned, feeling the death-like silence of the world, hearing the sound of my own heartbeat, and even feeling the sound of blood flowing through my heart. There was a hissing sound on the other side of the phone, I asked Juan if she was crying, Juan said no, she said her tears had dried up, and then there was a series of blind tones on the other side of the phone...
Lying on the small bed staring straight at the ceiling in a daze, time passed minute by minute, and every second that was painful for me was painful, and I looked forward to the phone ringing again, looking forward to Juan's phone. But I was disappointed, the ashtray was full of cigarette butts, and I didn't close my eyes all night, and I was distraught and sleepy at all. Wash your face and get ready for work, and get up your spirits.
The phone prompt sounded, it was a message from Juan, she said she wrote an email for me to open and read.
I rolled over and got out of bed, almost swooping down on the computer. Open the email, I read it in one breath, not even blinking, after reading I silently closed the computer, and then lay back in the small bed, invited a day home, no intention to go to work, groggy sleep for a day. It was really uncomfortable to lie down at night, moving a wooden chair to sit on the balcony, today's weather is good, looking at the sky full of stars, a trace of sadness in my heart, light a cigarette, smoke in the middle of the thoughts.
Remembering the content of the email, my heart was still faintly painful, the hand holding the mobile phone was trembling, and the fingers were trembling and typing ' Juan, I wish you happiness, a happy marriage, goodbye'
The mobile phone fell on the ground and did not bother to pick it up, looking at the night sky, thinking that I was also a small star like a grain of sand in this vast universe, disappearing into the vast ocean of the universe, no one found me again, and I did not know who I was, I did not want to see anyone, to be a glowing star, to shine for myself.
The content of the e-mail is as follows:
I've always wanted to make it clear to you in person, or at least call you, but I still don't have the courage to face you, even if I hear your voice, I will collapse in an instant.
My mother's health is getting worse and worse, has been urging me and Gangzi to marry, the second generation is called Gangzi, every time I mention this matter I and my mother are red-faced, but every time the result is my mother's illness, and finally I apologize for the end. My brother and I got into a very stiff fight, my brother said that my mother's illness was all angry with me, I was really wronged, this is not what I want, nor is it the life I want.
In our family, it is my mother who has the final say, she broke her heart for our brothers and sisters, my mother is good, obedient to me, but she does not rely on me in this matter.
I wouldn't have wavered, and I was determined to spend time with my family like this. But I never expected that Gangzi was drunk and drove out of a car accident, and he had a lot of effort to save his life, but he was disabled, one foot was everywhere, and there were many stitches on his face. The last call the police looked at the phone records of Tsuyoshi's dial was to me, and later I learned that when Tsuyoshi passed out, the first thing he thought of was to dial my phone...
And I would struggle to argue with my mom again, see his phone ring, and turn off the phone in disgust.
My mom said she was going to make me angry sooner or later, and I felt like I was about to collapse, I couldn't hold on, I was so tired. Not only is the heart so tired, but it is also so guilty. I think I hurt Gangzi, if I had been more resolute, more indifferent, more ruthless, maybe he wouldn't have been so obsessed with me.
I'm sorry for you, I feel more sorry for all the people, sorry for my mom, sorry for you, sorry for Gangzi.
I agreed to my mother's request and was ready to marry Tsuyoshi.
I'm sorry for you, I love you so much.
Don't call back, don't talk to me, I can't stand it. Xiao Min is a good girl, don't delay people anymore.
Material poverty can destroy your dignity in life, and spiritual poverty can exhaust your reincarnation for several lifetimes. There is no road in vain in life, and there is no Baidu book in life. The words you have touched will unconsciously help you understand the world, and will quietly help you wipe away the ignorance and superficiality on your face. Although books are cheap, it does not mean that knowledge is cheap, although reading books may not be successful, but it can make people speak with virtue and do more than enough.
Yangzhou is colder than I thought, it turns out that Yangzhou belongs to northern Jiangsu, and yangzhou as I understand it should be the south. We worked overtime until very late, the branch has not yet gone to the regular, we are busier, every day eight nights early bar, every day there is reimbursement of food expenses, I take the main design department of two people, we live in the construction site to the family of a three-bedroom and a hall of the community, the environment is very good, there is a canal at the door and Anyang Ring River the same ditch, sometimes a door, feel back to their hometown Anyang. That time was very difficult, insomnia, anxiety, personality also became moody, fortunately the company business is very good, all the energy has shifted to work, every day like a war, every day tired, after work randomly eat something, upside down to sleep. Didn't call Juan, but she called me before we got married, we were all calm, like two old friends chatting, she said to take care of herself when she went out, and I said wish you happiness forever. Hang up the phone and sit for a long time, for a long time...
Yangzhou in May is already very hot, when I want to change a shirt, only to find that I did not bring, went to the street to buy a piece to wear, sigh unconsciously came to Yangzhou half a year has passed. I went to the food stall after work with my colleagues, and I haven't relaxed like this for a long time. The sunset in Yangzhou is also very beautiful, and the heart is empty while drinking beer. Colleagues ordered a lot of things to eat, some people said that this vermicelli is delicious, there is duck blood in it, he put a lot of peppers, said it is very similar to the northern spicy hot.
Spicy hot? vermicelli? Duck blood? I looked at the bowl of snacks called duck blood vermicelli for a long time, and suddenly I realized.
After dialing Xiao Min's phone, I asked her if your hometown is Yangzhou, and Xiao Min smiled and said yes on the other end of the phone! I said why didn't you say it earlier, but Xiao Min said that you didn't ask!
Q we talked for a long time, XiaoMin said that her hometown is in Yangzhou, but the family has been doing clothing wholesale in Dalian, and the family only returns to Yangzhou for a few days during the New Year. I was disappointed to hear her say this. Xiao Min asked me if I had come out of the shadows, and I said that I was better, and I said that time can forget everything, hoping that it is not a lie. That day we talked until two or three o'clock in the evening, Xiao Min said that it seemed to be back to the feeling of being at school again, and I sighed and said how good it would be if I could go back to that time. Xiao Min did not reply for a long time, for a while, a row of words came from the side of the computer, Xiao Min asked me, 'If you go back to the past, will you still choose Juan?' ‘
Struggling on the keyboard, I replied to Xiao Min ' If I could really go back to the past, I hope not to meet'
Xiao Min asked again, 'What about me?' ‘
I'm typing a bit of a hasty, 'You're a good girl'.
'If you have a conscience, send me the address and come back to you,' Xiao Min replied.
Xiaomin would call me every morning and evening, sometimes simple greetings, sometimes endless conversations, as if everything could find a topic, she always gushed, always laughed. I once said thank you to Xiao min affectionately, I know you are helping me. But Xiao Min said that she couldn't remember the lines of 101 marriage proposals? I couldn't speak for a long time and choked up and said, 'Remember, remember... ‘
Yangzhou is a beautiful city, when I am not busy, I often ride my bicycle in the streets and alleys of the city, wandering around in the corners of the corner, this is the city where Xiao Min lived, everything has become so warm.
Yangzhou in mid-October is a little chilly, look at the weather forecast and Anyang temperature difference of two or three degrees, the temperature of the two cities is basically the same, maybe the winter gap will be larger. Xiao Min called and said that it had begun to snow in Dalian, and that it was falling so heavily that if I were here, it would be fine. I asked Xiao Min if she really wanted me to be there? Xiao Min smiled and said on the phone, 'You guessed'
Out of Dalian Station, a cold current struck, the wind was a little strong, rolled with snowflakes, so cold, although prepared, but still frightened by this cold weather. I took a leave of absence to go to Dalian to see Xiao Min, but I was disappointed, Xiao Min was on a business trip and would not be able to come back for a month. At first she didn't believe that I was in Dalian, there was an Internet café at the train station, and when I gave her a video, she finally believed it. Xiao Min in the video has not changed, just like the last time she saw her, long hair, perm big waves, nothing has changed, still so beautiful, just much more mature and capable than before. In the video, I was wearing a thick Bosideng down jacket, and the temperature in the Internet café was high, so I unzipped the down jacket to reveal the scarf that Xiaomin had knitted for me inside. Xiao Min smiled happily after seeing the video, her small face was puffed, her nose was red, and her two hands kept wiping tears. 'You're still so stupid' Xiao Min broke into laughter. I said that duck blood vermicelli is delicious, put more peppers and become spicy and hot, wait for you to come back and eat together. Xiao Min said that when I return to Yangzhou, he will invite me to eat this? Slamming the door and still having the money to buy a house? I suddenly felt sour in my heart, smiled bitterly, 'Don't buy'
Heavy snow and light snow for another year, In December Yangzhou also drifted small snowflakes, I rode around the city, took so many photos to show Xiao Min. The company was busier at the end of the year, and the Spring Festival did not buy tickets, so I told my parents that this year's Spring Festival may not go back to the New Year.
The company Chinese New Year's Eve the first day of vacation, the two of us stayed at the end, they bought tickets thirty rides back, I hesitated for half a day, or decided to stay. Bought couplets and window flowers to decorate the company and dormitory. Peeling the long peel of an apple, I thought of Juan, wondering if he was okay? We all met in Anyang at this time in previous years, and now... The phone rang suddenly, waking me from my memories. Xiao Min called her family's factory to take a big order, she helped in the factory, and the family will not be Yangzhou this year. I said 'Oh' in disappointment. Xiao Min felt my depressed mood, she asked me if I wanted to come back, I didn't think I wanted to say yes immediately. She smiled and said affectionately, 'Then I'll go back to you and send me the address'.
Chinese New Year's Eve I prepared a few dishes, a bottle of wine, and said to myself that I had worked hard. Open the computer and hometown parents, sister video New Year's greeting, my mother said I was much thinner, wiping tears, my father said that she was doing what the child was doing well, doing well in the company, crying, the big New Year's child should be uncomfortable. Mom wiped the tear marks on her face, smiled and said that the family is very good, don't send money in the future, my sister has graduated and returned to Anyang to work, Anyang Glass Shell Factory recruitment, she was admitted. He said that the money I sent was kept for me without moving, and that he would wait for me to find his daughter-in-law to start a family. My sister said to let me go out and drink less, take care of myself, don't think about being unhappy, and hurry up to find a new sister-in-law for her. I smiled and agreed, tears in my eyes.
On the first day of the first year, Xiaomin called to visit the New Year in the morning, and I said are you still busy? She said three shifts, she went to help as soon as she had time, she asked me if I thought about her, I said what I thought was at stake, and she smiled happily. I watched a movie alone in the morning, played games in the dormitory in the afternoon, played until I couldn't open my eyes until I couldn't open my eyes quickly, and fell asleep.
The second year of junior high, the same is the year, the afternoon and Xiaomin video for a while, she dressed up quite foreign, but also makeup, the first time to see her makeup, amazing scared me, she asked me if I look good, I said like a married bride, she giggled, said I am pure blind said, even the boyfriend did not marry there, marry you, you want ah!
I smiled awkwardly and thought to myself, 'Do I still dare to ask for Xiao Min's feelings?' It had broken her heart. ‘
On the third day of junior high, I got up early in the morning, went to the morning market, Xiao Min said that the first four afternoons can arrive at three or four o'clock, I walked around the market, large and small bought more than a dozen packs of food and drink, hung up on both sides of the handlebars, like a child to catch the market, full of joy, back to the dormitory, fried balls, fried tofu blocks, fried the whole fish, leaked skin residue, captive meat, crispy meat, steamed flower cake, bean buns, bought cabbage, beef, flour, and crossed most of Yangzhou City to buy Daokou roast chicken, to make a big table of Anyang dishes for Xiao Min. I was busy until three or four o'clock in the night, without the slightest tiredness or drowsiness, looking at the finished pile of a large piece of semi-finished product, wiping the sweat on my head, and smiling with satisfaction.
On the fourth day of junior high school, when I was woken up by the mobile phone, it was already noon, it was Xiaomin. She asked me what I was doing and I said to cook you our hometown dish. The other person was silent for a few seconds and said, 'Is there any point in us meeting?' I know it's hard to forget Juan in your heart, you live in your heart with her, and if we're together, it's not fair to me. ‘
I suddenly stopped talking, and after a long time, 'XiaoMin, I... ‘
I wasn't on the train, and if there were no results, why start, you never gave me a promise in all these years. Xiao Min said quietly on the other end of the phone, with a hint of worry, and every sentence heard the pain of a knife in my heart.
'I'm sorry, XiaoMin... I murmured.
Forget how to end the chat, stupid look at the living room table placed drinks of red wine, fruit platter, melon seed candy, appeared in front of me and XiaoMin lit candles, drinking red wine, Xiaomin happily ate a table of rich dishes I made, praised and said delicious, I cooked the dumplings and brought them to the table, clipped up a steaming gas, carefully put them on the mouth to blow, and then sent to the small noodle mouth, Xiaomin ate it, said that he would wrap dumplings for him every day in the future... It wasn't until the room was pitch black that I woke up from this hallucination.
Leaning on the balcony, I don't know when it was snowing outside, the snow was so heavy, there was already a thick snow on the ground, it turned out that Yangzhou would also snow, such heavy snow. I lit a cigarette, took a sip of the dream, felt so tired, I opened the window and the snowflakes poured in, pasted on my face, so cold, some cold, the heart is even colder...
If there is no if, according to this time, Xiao Min should have arrived, and the phantom just now will become a reality, but there is no if, too many ifs, too many once...
I didn't know how many cigarettes I had smoked, I felt my fingers and face freeze unconscious, and I reached out to close the window. With a snap, a snowball slammed into the window, shattering into foam. A voice came from downstairs.
'Brother Ning, are you waiting for me?' hehe. ‘
I looked down from the third floor, it was Xiao Min, I was not dreaming, I squeezed my eyes hard, it was really Xiao Min, the street lamp on the first floor was exceptionally bright, shining on the white snow where Xiao Min stood, she was so clear in the snow night...
She looked up at me, and I looked down at her, frozen where she was, looking at each other with tears in her eyes.
