The picture comes from the network, and the picture and text are irrelevant
The netizen letter said:
After I graduated from junior high school, I did not continue to go to school for two reasons: my poor academic performance and reluctance to continue studying; my parents did not pay enough attention to this matter. After going to society, living at the bottom of society, I will feel the pressure of life and the embarrassment of not being valued a lot of times. Reach marriageable age and fall in free love and marry with your ex-husband. I need to admit that I only have a little sense of superiority in front of my ex-husband, because my ex-husband really took care of me in love and when he was just married.
However, along with the progress of marriage, the ex-husband finally deduced that money became bad: in the 6th year of our marriage, the ex-husband was involved in extramarital affairs and was particularly obsessed with the third party, and in the end, I could not stand what my ex-husband did and offered to divorce.
When I divorced my ex-husband, I won a house, some savings, and custody of the children. After divorcing my ex-husband for more than a year, my husband and I restructured our marriage. So far, I have lived with my ex-husband for more than a year, and the relationship with my husband is more accurate: the same bed and different dreams. Because we both defend each other and our ex's feelings, we can't do a good job of integration, both emotionally and materially.
I am only 34 years old this year and my husband is 7 years older than me. Sometimes, I feel that such a good marriage doesn't really make much sense, but I don't have the courage to get out of the siege again: 1) after all, I need a man in my life; 2) After divorcing my husband, there is a high probability that I will find a man with a history of marriage.
So, when I'm unhappy now, I hate my ex-husband so much: if he could guarantee his fidelity to the marriage, my life wouldn't be so embarrassing now.
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
Why do you hate your ex-husband now? A: You haven't really come out of the shadow of divorce at all. Because more often, the most normal performance we put down on a person is: no love, no hate, and when mentioning each other, there will be a feeling of light wind. Or, divorcing your ex-husband is not the product of your willingness, but only because he is obsessed with a third party, so that you can only passively choose to divorce. However, after the divorce, you can only face the reality of divorce hard. In such cases, a restructured marriage is inevitable.
You and your husband's current marital status, you said two key points: 1) sharing the same bed and dreaming; and 2) feelings and money are not well integrated. Is it really your husband who is responsible for this situation, I'm afraid you also have to be wary of this aspect.
Regarding the current state of life of you and your husband, the script in my perception is like this: After you and your husband are married, because you have not completely forgotten your ex-husband, there will be reservations on both the emotional and material levels. So much so that you take the initiative to say to your husband, our property, each in charge, after all, there are children involved. So your ex-husband can only grant your request. However, in the process of marriage, you will find that the interpretation of the AA system between husband and wife seems to have a kind of embarrassment that is difficult to communicate, not to mention that you are still a halfway couple. As a result, you will feel that there is no love cohesion between you and your husband. However, you have forgotten one thing: when you two first lived together, it was you who advocated the AA system.
Don't say that the halfway couple is the original lover, and everyone will have their own thoughts in the process of running a marriage. The most common phenomenon: at the level of treating both parents, it is not possible to achieve a bowl of water. Therefore, we need to admit that selfishness is also a true part of human nature. The difference is that some people show selfishness in every way, while others only show selfishness in very few areas.
I still feel that in our country's marriage system, there has always been an emotional level of strong women and weak men, which means that the weather vane of a relationship mainly depends on the role of women in this relationship. Even if it is a halfway couple, as long as the woman is willing to be a kind stepmother of the husband and the former child, then the relationship is easy to manage. So, the main thing to do to improve your relationship with your husband is to make yourself a kind stepmother.
Many halfway couples, when they have no way to regard their lover and the child of the ex as their own, the marriage will naturally appear "difficult to communicate" situation, at this time, they will complain that the lover has reservations, just ask, why not?
In fact, you have thought about divorce and have not had the courage to divorce, that is, your attachment to holding marriage, in between, about running a marriage, my advice includes:
1) Mix your and your husband's money to spend, after all, in our country, the AA marriage model will only add too much estrangement between husband and wife, you know, we live in a country with a human touch;
2) Be nice to your husband and his ex's children, after all, you are also a mother, and don't ignore that the other child also needs maternal love when you know that your child needs maternal love. When you treat your husband and his ex's children well, he will naturally give you and your ex-husband's children more paternal love;
3) A more classic saying, how you want others to treat you, you must first treat others sincerely. When you can grasp the true meaning of this sentence instead of blindly focusing on taking it, then you and your husband can strive for the happy life you want.
Muzi Li life insights:
Marriage requires two people to operate together, if one party does not cooperate, then the collapse of the marriage is also the result of having to face. Even if we are reluctant to give up on someone, but the other party has clearly not loved you, then, your entanglement, in the other party, can only form a disturbing effect.
After divorce, you can choose to live alone with your children or you can choose to reorganize your marriage. Once you choose to reorganize the marriage, then really putting the ex down is the minimum respect for the incumbent. Even if the ex is very good, but the other party does not love you anymore, then, you continue to immerse yourself in the reluctance to the ex, which is a mediocre self-disturbance.
With the increase in the divorce rate, the marriage model of halfway couples is also inevitable. To this end, we must have the posture of making ourselves a qualified stepmother or stepfather, only in this way can we eliminate the so-called "halfway couple is difficult to communicate" .