Sweeping the eyebrows, smiling at the clouds, a turning-over-the-tops-up comedy!"
01
—
introduction
"How do you evaluate the fish mystery?"
I know that there is such a question above that has aroused my interest, and the answer can be described as various: extravagant women, talented poets, sluts...
A thousand readers have a thousand Hamlet, nothing to blame, not worth arguing, I believe that many middle-aged people after the 70s and 80s know Yu Xuanji mostly because of Hong Kong Shaw's restrictive film "Tang Dynasty Girl", and now the post-00s know her more through poetry reading. And I am even more bizarre, stemming from an ancient original music: "Tang Dynasty Red Face Fu".
So today I will talk about my personal views from my own cognitive point of view:
The status of women in ancient times was relatively humble, although Yu Xuanji was well known at that time and could be passed on to future generations, but the main history still did not leave him a single word, and the biographies of the lives that can be found are nothing more than some barnyard officials and wild histories, and rumors in the city. This also leaves an infinite space for future generations to reverie, and has become an object that future generations of inkers can shape at will!
02
The budding of love
In 871, at the mouth of Chang'an Caishikou, Jingzhao Yin Wenzhang was impatient to summon Lux to take prisoners.
Yes, this prisoner is my fish mystery, this is my own story.
Now the audience is full of people who came to see the lively melon-eating masses, like the sea of people in front of the xianyiguan gate, some of them are the children of officials and eunuchs who have broken their heads in order to grab the flower notes, some are noble ladies who have completely abandoned their images and constantly throw vegetable skins at me, and some are nameless people who have chased me, I am completely dismissive, the sun before noon is extremely dazzling, scanning a circle, I did not see Li Yi's figure, but I did not intend to see Pei Cheng's villain dezhi behind me, sharpening knives, sad and ridiculous, Heaven is teasing me, it doesn't matter, I closed my eyes lightly, waiting for the last moment to come...
The hustle and bustle under the stage, the anxious waiting on the stage have nothing to do with me, my thoughts drift to the distance, the pictures in my mind are becoming clearer, and one by one slowly emerges...
26 years ago, in 844 AD, I came to this stormy late Tang Dynasty, and landed in Pingkanglifang in the southeast corner of Chang'an, which is the most prosperous red light district in the Tang Dynasty.
Unfortunately, my father was talented and wealthless, and could only take us and our mothers to live in this fireworks land, like all the parents under the sky, when they were teenagers, they added all their unfulfilled dreams to me, and under their stick threats and personal guidance, I could only immerse myself in hard reading, learning poetry, and having a little experience.
Unfortunately, my father quickly left us and left, in order to make a living, my mother had to take me to the major Qinglou to wash and cook for people, because I can write poetry and composition, the little sisters around me will occasionally play and sing a few words of my works, through their spread, gradually, Chang'an City also began to be sung, labeled with Internet celebrity labels I am inexplicably excited, but I do not know that the doom of this life is quietly approaching.
Among the hurried visitors who came to admire him, he actually ushered in Wen Tingjun, who was famous for moving The Capital.
The song "Green color even deserted shore, smoke into the far building." "The Riverside Willow has extended the road of my life to the far side!
Since he was appreciated by the poet Wen Da, he became his apprentice, named apprentice, and he was a poet and a friend, but he was actually more friends and more admired.
Teacher Wen said that my poems were contaminated with too much rouge vulgar powder, too charming, alas! From the small red light district, I could not control it. Fortunately, Teacher Wen mentioned that I could take me in and out of Xiangfu and travel far away, and the outside world refreshed my three views step by step.
Talented men have their own charm, my love sinus first opened the girl's heart, and gradually had feelings for him beyond teachers and students, this 46-year-old man became the male god in my heart!
However, in the face of my affectionate gaze, he always dodged, or worried that he could not give me a name, or hindered by the identity of our teachers and students, the hateful thing is that we were born in the Tang Dynasty, the husband is a scholar, the concubine is born cold, the insurmountable gap, in fact, I do not have the luxury of expecting him to marry me, even if it is a concubine, I am very satisfied.
However, in the end he still flinched, admit it, with him, this is a love that has nothing to do with the wind and moon, and with me, this is the bud of my love.
03
Love belongs to Li Yi
In 858, he returned again, and also brought back Li Yi, the current Pengyin Ke Zhuangyuanlang, Guan Longxun Gui Li Shi, once he saw the Chang'an flowers, he brought a group of Moke rioters to gather at the Chongzhen Temple, chanted poems against each other, and ate Hai Sai.
To say something that shouldn't be said, as soon as I heard the poems they chanted, I wanted to say, "It's not who I'm targeting, everyone here is garbage." ”
Anyway, I was a little girl, I could only quietly watch them pretend to be B on the side, maybe Teacher Wen was also disgusted by them, came to let me also write a poem, entangled a little, I angrily wrote:
Yunfeng full moon release spring love, calendar silver hook finger under the birth.
Self-hatred covers the verses, and raises his head to envy the middle of the list.
Originally, I was just complaining, I also wanted to make a contribution, I also wanted to show my grand plan, but it was just a skirt, He had thought that this was a "blind date" deliberately arranged by Teacher Wen. I never put my pen well, and Li Yi said: "The appearance of the country and the city, the talent of the pen and poetry, the spirit of ambition, the real strange woman." "Throw a hug at me.
After so many years, I can also understand Teacher Wen's good intentions: after the famous door, the talent of the champion, the future is bright, let me follow him, even if I can't enter the door, I can also sing poetry and sing the strings of Jinse.
In the face of Teacher Wen's strong efforts to match, I did not feel that I had been sold, and I actually had no choice but to have no long belongings, and even once thought that this was the real happiness, so I was grateful to Dade for making a decision that ruined my life: marry Li Yi as a concubine.
I don't even know whether Li Yi's favorite me is talented or beautiful, or I have it, or just treat me as a plaything, although there are infinite doubts in my heart, but the answer can only be expected in the future.
In the spring of March, the flowers of Chang'an City, like my mood at the moment, I moved into a property he had set up for me in Linting. Located more than ten miles west of Chang'an City, surrounded by mountains and rivers, we have since started an unforgettable and beautiful time.
For the next three months, it was as if the golden wind and jade dew met, and as soon as he smiled, he won countless victories in the world.
However, he told me that in Gangneung, he also had an original wife, Pei Shi, who had come to Beijing to wait for vacancies because of Zu Yin, and now that the position of Zuo Shu Que had been decided, he needed to go east to pick up his relatives, and he also needed to persuade his wife Pei Shi to accept my partial house. With a feeling of uneasiness, I snuggled up to Li Lang and wrote a poem "Gangneung Sorrowful Hope for Zi'an", and fell into lovesickness:
Maple leaves are thousands of branches, and the river bridge hides the twilight sail late;
The heart of the remembrance is like the water of the West River, and the day and night flow east without rest.
Send the good man to the ferry, this life is only for you to wait.
Autumn came to the wood wither, greeted the snow to see the flowers, and stayed alone in the empty house for nearly half a year, before seeing the good man come to Chang'an with his wife. I have made countless plans in the past six months, but I still hope for the worst.
As the roadside children know, the Pei clan in Hedong is the first door in the world, the royal Li clan has to be behind, and the lover Li Yi married such a rich woman, and many things are not something he can control. When Mrs. Pei knew of my existence, she was furious, a lion roared in Hedong, the whole world had to tremble, I was just a grass in her eyes, what to fight with her?
As soon as I entered the door of Lin Ting's residence, Pei Shi angrily ordered the maid to accompany me and beat me severely on the ground. I didn't dare to resist, I didn't even dare to complain a little, I only hoped that after my wife took a breath, she would accept me, and in order to be with my sweetheart, what did I get by suffering a little flesh!
However, Pei's anger well did not disappear at once, and the next day and the third day were still making a lot of noise, and they had to sweep me out of the house. Reading Li Lang's hugh's book, I knew that this period of entanglement that lasted for three months and five months of lovesickness and bitterness came to an abrupt end.
Hoping that Li Lang could do something for me, how could he bear to abandon me?
Li Yi finally did not fail me, let me live in Xianyiguan, and wrote a letter in hand: "For the time being, there will be a reunion day!" ”
As long as I can be with my beloved, I recognize the Daogu, and I recognize the little three TN! Since then, Youwei and I have been insulated, and I have a new name, Dao number: Xuanji! Without the poetry of Li Lang and singing harmony, I could only read the green lantern plate, and the long thoughts turned into one beating text after another:
Drunken don't be sad, and there is no reason to solve the knots away from the intestines;
Hui Lan pins rest in the garden, and the willows accompany the passenger boat.
Gathering and dispersing has been sad and uncertain, and thoughts must learn to flow for a long time;
There are flower seasons to know the difficult encounters, come to Ken to drunkenly drunk the jade building.
I've been holding on to the "Bear with me for the time being, there will be a reunion!" "Looking forward to the day when he can pick me up and take me back." I waited for three years and cried for three years about this obsession. As many acacias there are, how many tears are sprinkled on the poems that are full of longing for distant lovers...
I still wanted to wait, but what I was waiting for was a sunny day, and the Visitor from Chang'an inadvertently said that he had already gone south to Yangzhou with his family to become an official! In that fantasy, one day I will step on the colorful clouds to marry the person I like, the hero of the world, I guessed the front, but I couldn't guess the ending...
04
There are no more fish maidens in the world
Three years of perseverance is just a slip of the bucket for him! The attitude of seeking perfection is exchanged for the bad practice of abandoning like a shoe!
Easy to ask for priceless treasure, rare to have a lover. The more true the love, the deeper the hurt, the word of love, perhaps only if you don't understand, it won't hurt...
Since then, I have understood a truth, what I want must rely on myself to fight! Why disguise again!
From now on, give up the rules, indulge to love, indulge yourself, empty the future, I do not turn! I don't turn!
There are no more fish in the world, only my wandering fish mystery!
"The Girl Who Gave The Neighbor":
Shame on the sun to cover the sleeves, sad spring lazy makeup;
Easy to ask for priceless treasure, rare to have a lover.
Tears lurking on the pillow, dark intestines between flowers;
Since he could spy on Song Yu, why should he hate Wang Chang.
Inscription poems, what a shame to ruin the reputation! Fame and vanity should be ignored with laughter!
In 866, I was once on the Chang'an hot search list, only because of the red card at the door of chongzhen temple: "Yu Xuan ji poetry Wen Hou Jiao!" ”
He zeng thought that in a few days, it spread all over Chang'an, and those so-called literati and gentlemen and gentlemen came to almost break through the thousand-year threshold of this Taoist temple.
I like rich men, such as the big businessman Jia Li Jinren, who not only allows me to have no worries about food and clothing, but also does not restrict my interactions.
I also like handsome men, such as The First Scholar Zuo Mingyang, the demeanor of the noble prince and the appearance of the grand, every move is like Li Yi.
I prefer talented men, such as the musician Chen Yun, whose lute pops out of the sky all the time.
Of course, everyone can enter the door of my Taoist temple, but not everyone can enter my eyes, and even if they can enter my eyes, they may not be able to enter my heart. I am bohemian, but not everyone can get close. For this reason, I have also offended many people, how many people admire my talent and beautiful name, and how many people say behind my back that I don't know what to do, including Pei Cheng, who is now proud on the stage.
At that time, there was no other special reason for rejecting Pei Cheng, but only for Pei's cup bow snake shadow, only to respect him. Who would have thought that he would actually come to serve as my overseer, the joke of fate is a bit too much!
Because of love and hate, this word is well made, I did not expect that I would fall into its trap!
One day, three noble princes dressed in brocade and crowns came to xianyi temple, along with geji and musicians. I have seen a lot of brother Gongzi, but the good-looking and humble musician makes me remember it. A love poem, two loves, let me once again think that I have found a home:
Hate to send Zhu string, with affection not to do;
Early knowledge of the cloud rain will, did not rise Hui Lan heart.
Scorching peach and plum, no harm to the country's search;
Cang Cang Pine and Gui, still envious of the people.
The moonlit court is pure, and the singing bamboo courtyard is deep;
In front of the door, the leaves are red, and I don't sweep to know the sound.
But I forgot, The Tang Dynasty, where there is my right to pursue love, to them I am just a plaything.
Li Yi is like this, Li Jinren, Zuo Mingyang, Chen Yun and the like are all TM!
Betrayal, betrayal again!
After learning about the work of the maid Lu Qiao and her lover Chen Yun, I completely lost all my sanity, and the woman surnamed Pei was also counted, and I couldn't afford to mess with the rich and powerful, but my own maid also came to rob me of men?
Where is my dignity.........
The grievances suffered over the years and the bitter water swallowed completely exploded at this moment. I don't know how long I hit her, only that I was so tired that I collapsed to the ground, and she was motionless and had lost her breath.
Above the court, it was Actually Teacher Wen's brother Wen Zhang, who was being tried, and the person who was in charge of the beheading was Pei Cheng, who had been rejected by me thousands of miles away, and only then did I understand how much a joke the heavens had made for me, going around in such a big circle, and returning to the same place.
In this life, I like Wen Tingjun, but I can't think of it. Like Li Yi, but he is insulted and abandoned. Like Chen Yun, he cheated on the maid and treated a good person all his life, but all the men were Lin Hua Xie Chunhong, too hurried.
Three o'clock in the afternoon has arrived, a cup of severed wine, red dust is difficult to break, good and evil are undecided, how to comment on merits, how to outline this life, all wait for posterity to fall ink!
In the final picture of the moment when the knife began to fall, I only saw Teacher Wen who was kneeling in the crowd and weeping, a firework was gone, the audience dispersed, and in the end, it was he who was willing to shed tears for me.
It turned out that it was not that the peach blossoms were merciless with the water, but that the flowers were untraceable.
05
epilogue
Sweeping the eyebrows of the qing, laughing at the clouds, a turning over and failing shake pen drama!
Long road, fate has a mystery, this is not my tragedy, I am only the tragedy of the times!
