Some people say that falling in love is like going to the beach to pick up shells, picking up only one of your favorite ones to take home, and never going to the beach again. It is difficult for a person with this view of love not to be happy, because he knows how to cherish what he has gained.
Love without marriage is doomed not to last, and marriage without love will only become mutually bound and endless suffering.
In Zhang Ailing's "Red Roses and White Roses", Tong Zhenbao is such a man, he believes that the woman he likes is not suitable for marrying home as a wife, and the person who is suitable for being a wife is what he does not like.
In love, the most feared thing is to get it and not know how to cherish it, and to lose it and regret it.
01, love, really need courage
Tong Zhenbao was born in a slight cold, he did not want to go to the student mind, to be a shopkeeper, did not want to be trapped in a small circle of ignorance and ignorance all his life, so he was very motivated and worked hard to fight for freedom.
He went to study abroad, worked hard, lived a life of boiling cabbage, and later earned some pocket money in his spare time to find things to do and internships, and gradually became more generous on hand.
Zhen Bao found himself a girlfriend, her name is Rose, she is a British girl, she is a straightforward person like him. Although he likes the warmth and liveliness of the rose, he believes that the rose is not suitable for marrying home as a wife, and the open woman returns to the country and does not follow the customs, which is a matter of labor and wealth for him.
Although Zhenbao has been exposed to the outside world, he is still more traditional in his bones, and he can accept new things, but he cannot really accept them. For example, he thinks that when he is in love, he can find a lively and enthusiastic girl, but when he gets married, he must choose a decent woman.
Because of Zhenbao's excellent grades, he was hired by a well-known dyeing and weaving factory in China before he graduated, and he could take up a job as soon as he returned to Shanghai.
The unit is far from home, and Zhenbao rents in the home of his old classmate Wang Shihong. There, he met Shi Hong's wife, Jiaorui.
The first sight of Jiaorui made a ripple in his heart, because it was the type he liked. What he likes are hot women, a little more promiscuous, unmarried women.
Only to say goodbye to Rose, she borrowed the corpse to return the soul, and became someone else's wife. This woman was more advanced than a rose, and in that room, it was as if the room was full of vermilion murals, and the left and right one painted her half-naked. ”
Wang Shihong left home on a business trip, and Zhenbao and Jiaorui sparked a spark of love as soon as they came and went. However, Zhenbao is good at regulating himself, and when he encounters things that he does not think reasonably, he can always find the right reason to convince himself.
He remembered that he had said goodbye to roses for his future and ideals, and he could not sit still in the face of his girlfriend's crying and crying, and now he had to restrain himself in the face of Jiaorui.
Zhen Bao understands that he is not as rich as Shi Hong, and he does not have such a good temper to tolerate her irregularities, and marrying her can only bring drag to himself. Therefore, he deliberately avoided touching Jiaorui.
Once it rained, Zhen Bao went back to the residence to get his coat, and he saw Jiaorui sitting obsessively next to his coat, letting the smell of cigarettes on his clothes envelop her, and it was not enough, so he simply lit up the remaining cigarettes he smoked. At that moment, Zhenbao was completely conquered, and he did not expect that Jiaorui, who was born from a social flower, was so affectionate to him.
Zhenbao admits that he has begun to degenerate. Every day after work, he took a bus to his quarters in the sunset to greet the shameless joy.
Maybe love is coming, and it can't be stopped. Jiaorui laughed at herself and did not expect that she would fall in love with Zhenbao, but she loved him very hard. She will wear well-behaved Chinese clothes for Zhenbao, and she will pose in front of Zhenbao's friends to make a good impression on them.
A woman's sense of security comes from loving and being loved, however, Unlike Zhenbao, his sense of security comes from the future he has created single-handedly. He has no family, no wealth, and can only rely on a person to rush forward to support his family and let them live a rich life.
Therefore, he pays more attention to his work, cares about his reputation, and cares about his social status. In the end, Zhenbao must be a good son, a good brother, a good clerk, a good brother, but he can't sacrifice his hard-won aura for his feelings. His interaction with Jiaorui was limited to flirting, and he had no intention of really getting along with Jiaorui at all.
Jiaorui is emotional, and she writes to ShiHong saying that she wants to divorce him and then marry Zhenbao. When she told Zhenbao the news with great anticipation, Zhenbao was frightened and ran to the street to drink, and suddenly fell ill and was hospitalized. In front of the hospital bed, Jiaorui guarded day and night, handing tea and water to serve.
Zhen Bao finally spat out the truth after waking up: "Jiaorui, if you love me, you can't help but think about me." I can't call my mother sad. He had a different view than we did, but we couldn't help but take care of her, and she was left alone with me. Society would never forgive me—Shi Hong was my friend after all. Our love can only be the love of friends. I used to be sorry for you. But now, write to him without telling me that it's all your fault. ”
A relationship ended like this.
In terms of feelings, Zhen bao will reveal his true feelings, he likes the hot jiaorui like a red rose, but he is too rational and good at restraining himself, because he is more concerned about his future. Perhaps, the phoenix man who started has different scruples from ordinary people, and he cannot put his future above his personal feelings.
He is the embodiment of contradictions, oscillating back and forth between sensibility and reason. As he said, when he was alone with Jiaorui, his mind was full of reasons to be with her, and without her he would come up with all kinds of reasons to argue that he was with her.
In the end, Zhenbao still did not have the courage to pursue and face his love.
02 Loveless marriage is like a grave
Zhenbao has a sad understanding of marriage, and he feels that a person either has only one wife he really loves or is lonely. He wants to love the person he loves, and the person he likes does not dare to marry home, so he is doomed to not get a happy marriage.
Zhenbao found a girl with the right door under the urging of his mother, the girl just graduated from college, slender and tall, beautiful in appearance, and very white skin, which meets Zhenbao's temperament requirements for his wife.
She rarely spoke, rarely raised her head, and acted shy and sluggish in front of people. Zhen Bao didn't like this girl named Yan Li, but it wasn't too annoying.
After getting married, Zhenbao became more and more dissatisfied with her, and it was a lot of unspeakable dissatisfaction. Zhen Bao entered into the responsibility of being a loyal husband to her liking, but he could not be interested in his wife's body.
Zhen Bao felt that his wife was getting more and more bored and began to sleep with prostitutes outside. In the depths of Zhenbao's memory, there is still that sacred and sentimental corner, the impression of rose and jiaorui merging into one, the beautiful impression of him when he is with the woman he likes.
The innocent and enthusiastic girl who had once loved him did not disturb him in the slightest, but he gave her up with an iron will for a bright future. Now he is married to a wife who meets the "standards", but he is emotionally empty and lonely.
But wasn't all this his own choice? In order not to be dragged down, he restrained his feelings like quitting bad habits. However, marriage is not a matter of course, and it is impossible to live a long time of patience.
After marriage, Zhenbao's mother and Yan Li gradually developed many dissatisfactions, and the contradictions between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law deepened. Yan Li has always been a small prostrate at home, because she gave birth to a daughter who was more despised and ridiculed by her mother-in-law, she simply lost her temper and made a big fuss, and her mother-in-law returned to her hometown in a negative mood.
Zhenbao suddenly felt that he was very wronged, he thought that his wife had deceived him with obedience, disappointing him, and his mother did not care about his feelings and left, so that others thought that he was an unfilial son.
Zhen bao's dislike for his wife is growing day by day, and he sees that she is busy wrapping a pair of silver bottles in newspaper for him, but she can't wrap it well, and he hates to say: "People are stupid and everything is difficult!" "And he took it. The smoky oriole's face showed a cowardly resentment and then filled with his usual smile.
Zhenbao never dared to entertain friends at home, because he lacked a generous and enthusiastic wife, and he preferred to spend two more money outside to socialize. Neither of his friends liked the smoker, and although she was quiet, she was only the wife of the ideal friend.
Yan Li has no friends of her own, nor does she have dignity, she alone can not swallow the resentment that no one can understand, she sometimes complains to the old mother around her and invites Zhen bao a reprimand, she will even nag to her eight-year-old daughter, Zhen Bao sent her daughter to boarding school without a sound.
One rainy day, Zhen Bao went home to get a raincoat, found that his wife had cheated on an ugly-looking tailor, he couldn't understand what reason his wife had to betray him, but he thought with contempt: "Dirty things, about she knows that she is too bad, she must find someone more inferior than her, to comfort herself." ”
Samuel said that the success of a marriage depends on two people, and one person can make it fail. Zhen bao marries a wife without being able to give his passion and love, which is to create pain for two people.
Everyone has emotional needs, and his failure to love his wife is already a great punishment for his wife. The unequal family status between him and his wife was doomed to produce sweet flowers.
03, do not let the obsession ruin a lifetime of happiness
Zhenbao thinks that he controls his own life, he also wants to control his marriage, he wants to become a winner in life, get a double harvest of career and family, but he is not happy at all.
His marriage sucked.
He likes open and enthusiastic women, but decides that she is not suitable for marrying home, so he abandons her like an alcoholic who gives up fine wine with reason and determination.
But reality taught him a lesson. Ten years after they were separated, he met Jiaorui on the bus with her child to the dentist, and the once delicate woman was now slightly blessed, still wearing makeup, but with the fireworks of life.
Zhen Bao thought of his wife again, she was always that thin body, as empty as ever, as empty as ever, and it seemed that nothing had happened after many years of marriage.
He looked at the jiaorui in front of him, who was already a happy wife and mother, living a satisfied life. Calm on the outside, his heart was already full of tears, he was embarrassed, jealous, and even more remorseful.
He failed to live up to a sincere love because he was unwilling to give and did not dare to take responsibility. How can he, who cowers in the face of love, get a warm and sweet marriage?
Gained the fear of loss, loss, and unwillingness, can only say that his obsession with marriage ruined a lifetime of choices.
Perhaps, he was not wrong, but it was even more unwise for him to punish himself with his own mistakes. His wife cheated, he openly played with women, beat and scolded his wife, and lived his life to mutual harm.
He has always considered himself a helpless person, the eldest son in the family, he wants to live a beautiful life through hard work, to make himself famous and win glory for his family, to be praised and envied by people he knows, and to plan his life in a decent and decent way.
However, if life is given to oneself, not to others, why should one use paranoid thoughts to set up one's own feelings and marriage.
Love, there is no right or wrong, only true and false. If it is true love, it is necessary to seize the opportunity and take responsibility; if it is not loved, or it should not be loved, it must be let go in time and let go.
People may have this common disease, always feel that what they can't get is good, and when they get it, they find that it is not so good. This is torturing yourself with obsession.
In fact, we can try to look at people and things from a different perspective, more sincerity and dedication, less vanity and self-interest, life will be much simpler. Perhaps, cherishing the present and leaving no regrets in each moment is the best interpretation of life.
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