1, I and Xiaomei are in agreement, but her father wants to break us up, in order to let him admit me, decided to routine him. I wrote the words "son-in-law" on a piece of paper and gave it to her father

1, I and Xiaomei are in agreement, but her father wants to break us up, in order to let him admit me, decided to routine him. I wrote the words "son-in-law" on a piece of paper and gave it to her father. I said sweetly: Uncle, what do you read these two words? Her father recognized it at a glance and sneered at me: two goods.

2, I walked with Fa Xiao at the edge of the koi pond in my hometown, and I was small: "When I was eleven years old, I almost drowned in the pool!" Me: "Didn't you swim when you were nine?" Fa Xiao: "I was eating snacks, my mouth was stuffed with bulging sacs, I couldn't help but be pushed into the pool by my brother, a large group of carp thought they were eating, and all rushed to the snacks in my mouth..."

3, my girlfriend went home to see my parents, but my parents were very happy. When she sleeps at night, her girlfriend shouts: Rats, there are mice... I laughed and said: Rats are afraid of something, and they won't bite you! The girlfriend muttered: People are just afraid, you quickly find a way to drive them away! Me: Okay, let's put our hands up now and wrap our heads around...

4, I have a classmate, every time I come to my house, see delicious to eat casually, once there is a pack of a little spicy fish fillet at home, it is estimated that it has been put for a few days, spoiled, my classmate casually put it in his mouth, ate 2 times, asked me what this is, how is it so difficult to eat, I said, it is difficult to eat you still eat, I don't know if this thing is for the cat to eat, he looked confused, made a very painful expression, wanted to spit out and spit out, I couldn't help but laugh.

5, go downstairs to see my son is bullying a little girl, the other party angrily said to my son: "You bully girls, grow up must be a single dog." I was just about to go over and say my son, but my son said with a single mouth: "A single dog is a single dog, my aunt is a single dog, eating and sleeping every day, not to mention how happy." "Me:?

6. When I first interviewed our company, there were many links. But I didn't expect that I would be able to pass five levels and six generals and pass the final interview. Later, when I had dinner with the director of manpower, I asked in passing: How did you look at me at that time? The director said: Because the chairman thinks that you look more special. I said: What's so special about my volkswagen face? The director said: The chairman thinks that you look like his brother-in-law...

7, when I was a child, my family was rural, my aunt's family was in the city, and I went to my aunt's house to play during the holidays. My aunt used a pressure cooker to boil chicken soup for me to drink, and after a while, suddenly there was a loud noise in the kitchen! It turned out that the cousin had removed the lid of the pressure cooker in advance, and the pressure cooker exploded. The aunt was very worried and asked her cousin if she was burned, and the cousin walked out of the kitchen without saying a word, with a suffocating face. Many years later, I still remember that image. The cousin, with a chicken on her head, sat on a small bench in the doorway, leaving a lonely back.

8, when I was a child at home herding sheep, watching the sheep eat grass, especially delicious look, chewing for a long time in the mouth and white foam, fun, I feel that the sheep eat delicious, so Hu also engaged in a handful of chewing in the mouth, the taste is really good, sweet, and then learned the sheep to chew in their mouths are foam! In the next three days, I pulled to prostration...

9, the first day of elementary school began to divide the seats, I was divided into a very disgusting table, once he was very serious in front of me to pick the nose, I endured, but he also put that finger in his mouth and licked it after he finished! What was even more speechless was that he still innocently asked me: "Why are my fingers so salty?" ”

10. Once I was a proctor teacher and proctored a math test. I was sitting on the podium and saw a student sneaking around under my eyelids, one hand writing on it, one hand moving underneath, and words in my mouth, and I thought to myself that this must be cheating. So I hurried over to see that this classmate was holding a string of Buddha beads in his hand... What is the situation that you can do the right test paper with the Buddha beads?

11, after a date, my boyfriend sent me to the door and said to me: "I have a mouth ulcer, and my mouth hurts." I said with concern: "What to do, do not need to buy some medicine." As a result, he smiled and put his mouth together and said, "It's okay, you can cure it with your saliva." I bowed my head shyly and said generously, "Then you wait, I will go back and fill you with a bottle now." ”

12, one day, playing in bed with my girlfriend, I cheekily said wife I want to talk to your girlfriend without explaining what that is? Shy I said that your parents do it every day suddenly she dumped me with a big mouth "want to fight and say it straight"!

13. One day, my husband came home drunk. I was angry, but I didn't get angry with a drunk and put myself in lipstick. Then, I kissed my sleeping husband several times on the neck and face. The next day when my husband woke up, I started arguing with him and asked him where he had been yesterday. The mother-in-law came to persuade him, saw the lipstick mark on his face, and went up to slap him. For several days to come, my husband struggled to remember what he had done that night when he was drunk...

14, one day, about the goddess to drink coffee, the two chatted very speculatively. After going back, the goddess sent me a text message "Xi Nu a West Girl, your mouth and hands are so white, your mouth and hands are so white, your mouth and hands are white," I didn't understand what it meant for half a day, and I replied" Yours is also very white. Good night. "I never had coffee with her again.

15, there is a buddy who has been showing off that his daughter-in-law was bought for 100 yuan, and every time others asked, he looked unpredictable. Later, his daughter-in-law saw him bragging again, but interjected: "Listen to him blowing, when I went to school, I lost 100 yuan of living expenses, and I felt uncomfortable, he carried a bunch of coins the next day and said that it was my money that he picked up, at that time I naturally did not believe it, I said that I lost 100 banknotes, he said that the banknotes left the owner's sad tears collapsed, collapsed into countless pieces, I thought about this product thoughtfulness and humor, I agreed..."