1, a friend died in a car accident for two years, his WeChat has not been deleted, suddenly one day, on a whim sent him a message: "Are you okay over there"? After a while, two words popped up in the message box: "It's okay." Scared me to throw away my phone, I couldn't get back to my soul for a long time
2. I asked my daughter, "Dad and Mom, who is your favorite?" The daughter thought for a moment and said, "I love it all!" I asked, "If I go to the United States and my mother goes to England, where do you want to go?" The daughter said, "I'm going to England." I asked why, and my daughter said, "Because England is fun." I asked, "What if I go to England and my mother goes to America?" The daughter said, "Of course I went to the United States." I said with some frustration, "Why do you always go with your mother?" The daughter looked calm: "The UK has just been there." ”
3. The cousin went fishing with the rich uncle, the buoy sank, a pull is a big fish, the cousin pulled up hard, the result was not stable, the rich uncle over sixty years old crashed into the river. After my uncle came ashore, he didn't say anything, that is, the water was a little cold! A few days ago, my cousin went to the rich uncle again: Dad, go fishing? The rich uncle said: I am your son, the property will be yours sooner or later, don't be too anxious.
4. When I was in medical school, the school was militarized and smoked, and my classmates and roommates and I went to the toilet to steal cigarettes. When the brother-in-law was a coach at the driving school, he received a ninety-five and gave it to his father, who was not willing to smoke. Once, when my father was not at home, I secretly opened and took a box to school. While sharing with my classmates in the toilet, I was caught by the director of teaching. I didn't admit anything, and the director asked me: Then why do you have the smell of smoke on you? I had a stroke of genius and immediately replied: This is body fragrance!
5. The mother-in-law was hit by a Bentley Mulsanne icon because the owner was drunk driving and lost more than 2 million yuan. After my mother-in-law had this money, she opened a commissary for me. Today, there was a customer who bought a lot of things, and I went out to help her deliver them, so I let the little niece and nephew who were playing at the door of the store look at the store. After ten minutes, I came back to find two children, one with a toy large ring knife and one with a meteor hammer, leaning against the door of the store with a murderous spirit, and when he saw me, he said triumphantly: "Aunt, we are staying at the store, and no one is allowed to come in!" ”
6. I drove my newly purchased Lamborghini to the highway to experience speed and affection. The top speed is 400KM/h, which is almost like flying. On the road, I saw a truck with three words sprayed on its body: Luck Car. I thought to myself that the driver was saying that the car was very lucky, and there was never a car accident. Today I learned that it was a car transporting liquefied gas!
7. Father's Day is coming, my cousin has just paid his salary, and he wants to buy a pair of shoes for his uncle. But the cousin never paid attention to the size of his uncle, and wanted to surprise his uncle, and in the end, he could only call his aunt to ask how big his feet were. After listening to the reason, the aunt hesitated for a moment and said, "He has a lot of shoes at home, don't buy them!" The cousin was very touched to hear it, and the aunt began to feel sorry that it was not easy for the cousin to earn money, and did not want the cousin to break the fee. Just wanted to say that it was okay, the aunt continued: "Your father picked very much, will not wear, unlike me, I never pick, buy me what I wear..." Well, my cousin seems to understand something!
8. The goddess girlfriend was admitted to Xi'an Jiaotong University with a score of 750 points, and was recruited by Foxconn as the front desk after graduation. Later, because the salary was too small to repay the mortgage, the girlfriend resigned and went to work in an electronics factory. Within a few days of work, there was a little brother with a super good look in the workshop. After spending a few days with him, the girlfriend found herself in love with him. But the girlfriend is a girl, and it is not easy to express love to him directly. After thinking about it for a long time, the girlfriend plucked up the courage to say to him: "I heard that the brother who gave birth to a boy is a mother with a high IQ, and the girl who gives birth to a girl is a father with a high IQ, do you dare to cooperate with me once, comparing iq to iq?" So, the girlfriend was beaten!
#Funny Famous Scene of the Year # #搞笑段子 #