After work, I helped my female colleague repair the water pipe, fixed it, said she invited me to dinner, and I rushed home to resign. While packing up the kit, her five-year-old daughter secretly stuffed me with a small butterfly made of silk, and I smiled and put it in my pocket. When I got home I was almost killed, the butterfly was decorated on the panties, and my wife said she had one too.
2. Two days ago, the buddies fought with others, and in order to support the scene, they were plastered with mosquito stickers on their bodies, and then they didn't do anything. Then the buddies invited us to the bathhouse to take a shower, and there were so many people inside. I took off my clothes and went inside, very politely saying to the person next to me: Trouble let me go! As a result, everyone directly opened a road for me, and a little brother gave me the faucet...
3. The husband is drunk outside and goes to pick him up with his father-in-law. Obviously my husband didn't recognize me, so I took my son's toy knife and said, "Don't move, hand over the money!" My husband: "Big sister, my daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law are tightly managed, and I have a total of one hundred!" All for you, let me go! Me: "Tell me where your little vault is hiding?" Husband: "I don't have a small vault wow!" At this time, my father-in-law said: "You don't have a wife, otherwise you can carry so much money?" ”
4. A long time ago, Gary raised a mother's erha and named her Beauty. Once shopping, the dog did not follow behind. I casually shouted: Beauty. At this time, a woman on the side responded: What? I fixed my eyes on it, and it was almost a closed moon. So I had an instant of inspiration: beauty plus a V letter. Now a flash of 3 years has passed, the beauty has become her wife, a wave of emotion in my heart, hey!
5. When my cousin was studying at a university in a foreign country, he met a graduate student at the university. The two people have feelings for each other and begin a sweet love. Today, my cousin followed his girlfriend home to see his parents, and it was raining heavily. As soon as I entered the door, I heard my girlfriend's mother complain: "Your father went to buy vegetables, he knew it was going to rain, and he didn't bring an umbrella when he went out." Then the cousin picked up his untied umbrella and rushed out, and the girlfriend said, "You've never seen my dad, how do you find it?" The cousin looked confident and said, "It doesn't matter, I can deduce your father's appearance from the way you and your mother look." ”
6. Chatting with a colleague when I was about to leave work, I said: "Your daughter-in-law is so beautiful, how did you catch her at that time?" Colleague: "Throw money!" Know half a year smashed more than 100,000, what to buy, do not also buy, all the brands are still traveling everywhere! Me: "Where did you get so much money?!" Colleague: "Now we are married for two years, the child is one year old, we pay off the debt together, and we can't last anymore..."
7. Uncle went to the market in the morning to buy vegetables, and asked the butcher shop owner: The ribs are too big, can you go to its skin bag to leave its essence, and then buy only a small part of it? Butcher owner: Yes, then you see how much you want, I will help you cut. The uncle replied: Don't pick it, just want this piece, but except for the bones, I want everything else! The butcher owner smiled and then picked up the kitchen knife...
8. In the Chinese textbook of the second year of high school, I remember that there was a lesson called "Raining Bells", which had a sentence that said, "Holding hands and looking at each other with tears, I was speechless and choked." At that time, the Chinese teacher asked: What do you think is the relationship between these two people? Everyone looked at each other and didn't know how to answer. The teacher said indignantly: Of course, these two people are lovers, and the teaching counselor actually said that they were friends, nonsense! Then there are friends who will do this.
#Funny# #搞笑段子 #