30-year-old + single woman who refused to "socialize" and encountered "wearing small shoes" caused by life thinking: What is your life, in the end, can be considered successful?
A 30+ female friend suddenly sent a message in a friend group late at night:
"Today is so sad, walking on the embankment of the river back home, I want to jump straight down for a hundred years!"
After being questioned by several other friends, the friend told her what had happened.
It turned out that there was a new leader in the unit, and this new leader did not have any special hobbies, that is, he always had to take her out to socialize. She is not a person who can drink, the most important thing is that in this kind of "socializing", the man at the wine table drinks too much, and says some yellow jokes, the key is to use his hands and feet.
Friends naturally did not go resolutely, so "serious consequences" followed, the leader sneered at her, and the work was always picking bones in the egg.
Under the leadership style, the friend is very frustrated and collapsed, first of all, he is very disgusted with such "socializing", and he is very much in need of this job, so he has the idea of "jumping directly into the river for a hundred".
In the whole chat message, in fact, I can see that the "being worn in small shoes" encountered by my friend at work is only a fuse that triggers her "not wanting to live", in fact, she has been trapped in the "success trap" for a long time.
30+ years old, she is still single, living with her family, working in a position for many years, even if she works diligently and earnestly, she has encountered the leader's "wearing small shoes". So she had no car, no house, no high salary, and she was shrouded in the negative thinking of "I am a failure."
As a social person, we have become accustomed to defining reputation, wealth, status, luxury cars, large houses, high salaries, etc. as the standard of success, and only by achieving these goals are "people with a sense of achievement", "winners", and deserve to have a "high self-esteem" life.
As everyone knows, this is just an illusion and an illusion.
Such an idea would raise at least three serious problems.
First of all, you can't guarantee when the "grand goals" you set will be achieved, you may not be able to achieve them for a lifetime, or even if you can, it will take a long time, which will lead to long-term frustration and disappointment.
Second, you may have discovered that you think that you will be happy if you have a car of your own, but soon after you actually drive your car to work, you feel that the car does not bring you lasting happiness, it only brings you temporary satisfaction.
Third, you uphold the belief in success, work tirelessly in one goal after another, you buy a car, and you start to fight for a house. You need to constantly achieve a variety of goals to keep the "success" you need. You feel that you have stopped achieving your goals or that you have not achieved them and you will consider yourself a "loser."
Let this notion of success dominate your life, even if you will have a short-lived happiness at the moment when the goal is achieved, but in the long run, you are doomed to struggle in the "trap of success", subject to great pressure and pain.
So what exactly is success? What makes us happy?
Albert Einstein once said:
"Don't work hard for success, work hard to be a valuable person."
That is, true success is about living according to your own values.
If you want to change careers to become a doctor, it will take at least ten years to achieve, and your core value is actually "helping others", then in the rest of your life, you can act according to such core values, even if you do not eventually become a doctor, it will not affect your "helping others" behavior.
As Martin Luther King Jr. once said in his speech:
"I dream of a day when my four children will live in a country where their qualities are judged not by the color of their skin, but by their character."
Obviously, judging by our notion that "success equals achieving goals," he failed because he did not achieve his goals. But, in reality, he was a true success because he had been living to practice "racial equality."
I believe that a person who acts and lives according to his own values will also be a blooming and happy person!
#Success##Workplace##Happy# #价值观 #
