My mother-in-law quietly pulled me to my bedroom and asked, "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price, this car."

My mother-in-law quietly pulled me to my bedroom and asked, "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price, I am tired of driving this car, and I will sell you at the right price." I tentatively asked, "80,000?" The mother-in-law exclaimed, "So little? I bought it for more than $5 million. I was distressed: "But my salary is not much, now this little money!" Mother-in-law: "Then now make up 920,000 dowry for you, and this car is sold to you for 1 million." "Dad called to say that the family was demolished, and I immediately resigned to beat Didi and went home to get money. The car came, I didn't expect it to be a Honda Civic, driving or beautiful. I asked the beauty: "Driving a luxury car and working part-time, you are not bad for these few dollars, why?" Beauty smiled contemptuously at me, "I just like to see you poor ghosts stunned, one?" The look of envy and puzzlement on the face. "At that time, I couldn't help but scold her and cry, and after getting out of the car, I resolutely gave her a five-star praise!

2. The brother-in-law's profession is a doctor. One day I went to my sister's house to rub rice. The little niece of four years old found a stethoscope in the back seat of the car, held it in her hand, and was still playing when she got home. My brother-in-law was very happy and said to my sister: It seems that my daughter will inherit me to grow up as a doctor. As soon as the words stopped, I saw the little niece say to herself: Welcome to X gas station! What kind of gasoline do you want to add? Then happily press the earpiece head of the stethoscope on the toy car...

3. Mom and Aunt Wang in the community are colleagues, and the relationship is not good and the old quarrels. Later, I fell in love with Aunt Wang's son and didn't dare to tell her, but she didn't expect her to find out. The elderly were open-minded, and the mother observed for a while or agreed. I laughed and asked my mother why she didn't object in the first place? She sniffed at the melon seeds and said seriously: I have seen it, you have bullied that boy enough, but if you can't fight the old one, you will fight her small, and you will kill her!

4. Newly married, her husband died in a car accident due to drunk driving. The beautiful mother said to her daughter worriedly, "How can you live this day?" He's your God! The sky is falling! Beauty smiled bitterly, and in turn comforted her mother: "Rest assured, you haven't heard that there is a sky outside the sky!" Beautiful mother: "Just have a wide heart, find another one!" ”

5. When I was in college, we were all single in one of our dormitories. We were all asleep in the middle of the night when suddenly the dorm phone rang, waking everyone up. The buddy closest to the phone reluctantly got up to answer the phone, and several others said that they were calling someone and threw the water out. As a result, a boy's voice came from the phone: Hello, please call Wang Ting. The buddy who answered the phone sneered and said quietly that she hung up when she slept. Then the buddies said coldly: Can split a pair is a pair...

6. This afternoon the principal held an emergency meeting on the playground. Tell us the reason for the treatment: The other day I was patrolling at night and caught a couple in the garden, do you know what you are doing? Some of the students below said this, and some said they were kissing. The dean said: No, I tell you! Your sister took two apples, a pair of red candles, and a pillar of incense in the small pavilion in the middle of the night, and scared me to death in worship!

7. Uncle Liu is a very poor family in our village, and he died of illness in his nineties. Before he died, he called his little grandson to himself, and he held the little grandson's hand and used his last breath to command: O child, this world... It's good to be an official! His grandson was an extremely obedient child, and he took to heart his grandfather's words before his death. Now that he has grown up, he has finally become the best coffin maker in the village.

8. The upstart in his forties has a beautiful girlfriend who is still studying at Tsinghua University. On this day, he decided to go to the door to propose to him, so he drove his own Rolls-Royce Silver Charm, brought six million cash, ten Yellow Crane Tower gold bricks, and eight boxes of Zodiac version of Moutai wine. The drunken father-in-law at the dinner table suddenly put away his smiling face, and then said very seriously: Son-in-law, my daughter-in-law is sure to marry you, I am not at ease! The nouveau riche said: You put a hundred hearts, I will be good to her. The father-in-law said to the nouveau riche in a serious voice: My daughter-in-law has beaten invincible hands all over the village since she was a child, and I don't trust you!

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #