"Do you really not consider throwing a part?"
In the face of 40-year-old business executive Gong Jiakai, the finisher Demi couldn't help but ask cautiously. In his bedroom, Demi searched for thousands of pairs of underwear, many of which had already started.
Demi has nearly 300 home service experiences, and Gong Jiakai's home is a challenge. Walking from the living room to the room, there were at least ten suitcases scattered on the floor; in the bathtub of the toilet were cardboard boxes with unknown miscellaneous items; about 15 square meters of bedroom, shoe storage boxes covered a whole wall, jeans stacked almost to the ceiling... Demi took two companions and it took a full 36 hours to complete the work. Gong Jiakai admitted that he "has a certain tendency to hoard."
Gong Jiakai's living room. Courtesy of respondents
Many years ago, "hoarding" was frequent in news reports. People usually see poor, withdrawn, elderly hoarders. Today, "hoarding disorder" is afflicting a large number of young people like Gong Jiakai.
Open Weibo to search for "hoarding disease", you will find that many netizens complain that they have been "terminally ill", "I must have been a hamster in my last life", "the room exploded"; in the Douban "Minimalist Life" group that gathered 350,000 members, many team members recorded their own fight against "hoarding disease"; on the little red book, the organizer is becoming a "net red profession", walking into thousands of households to solve the hoarding problem for people.
The 5th edition of the American Manual of Diagnosis and Statistics of Mental Disorders defines "hoarding disorder" as "a mental illness in which items of limited value are stored in excess and cannot be discarded, resulting in extremely crowded living spaces, inability to use normally, and a certain negative impact on individual social functioning." But the "hoarding disorder" that most people talk about is not a mental illness in the sense of clinical diagnosis, but a widespread social phenomenon: objects are eating into our space, and we are powerless to stop it.
However, we do not yet know enough about this social phenomenon. Searching for papers on "hoarding disorder" on CNKI, only 2 papers were published in core journals, most of which focused on the psychological motivation of hoarding, and there was no analysis of its social causes. After asking a number of scholars for verification, the reporter confirmed that there has been no sociological research with the theme of "hoarding" in the field of Chinese.
Why can't we stop hoarding? When did the relationship between people, things, and space become so tense? With this question in mind, I found several hoarders and finishers.
depend
Gong Jiakai often buys the same item repeatedly around the world.
He has twenty pairs of identical-looking Neo-Balance sneakers, "and I liked it so much that I bought them from different parts of the United States, Europe, and Japan." The bedroom shelves, packed with hello kitty and teddy bears, explained, "Not to like, but teddy bears are a hallmark of American culture, and hello kitty is a different version of various cities in Japan." There are also rows of similar Coke bottles and suitcases in the living room, "all of which were brought back when I traveled around the world, specially bought local products, and I would buy them as long as I passed by and saw them." ”
Gong Jiakai is one of Demi's clients. He is about 1.8 meters tall, cheerful and talkative, and is a senior manager of a large multinational enterprise with a lot of income. He felt that what stood in his way was a "magical superpower" that stood in his way—every time he saw an object, he could instantly remember the details of his life.
The pair of sports underwear that I wore to play football when I studied in Los Angeles, "I used to play football very well"; the wrinkled yellow Paul shirt, which I got when I went to a travel agency as a tour guide during the summer vacation in high school, "That was the first bucket of gold in my life"; and jeans that I couldn't squeeze into, bought when I was a fitness instructor at the age of twenty, "I used to be in a very good shape, I always thought, maybe there is still a day to wear."
Born in Taiwan, raised in the United States, and working in Shanghai, he always felt that he was living in an era of rapid change, "so he prefers things that have memories and precipitation." ”
Wang Xuan, 27, works for a well-known Internet company in Beijing and is seen by her colleagues as a "sophisticated and fashionable urban woman" who no one would have imagined that she would live in such a disorderly, chaotic space.
In the corridor of the doorway, there are about a dozen unopened express delivery cartons, blocking half of the road; in the living room, the duffel bags of bulging bags are stacked one by one, blocking the space for entry and exit; on the balcony, the "hill of debris" is piled as high as the refrigerator, and the floor is scattered with storage boxes of various shapes, stuffed with jeans, plush toys, hangers, laundry detergent, and coin purses. A month ago, a friend went to look for her, and as soon as she entered the door, she showed a "very disgusted look" and stayed for less than ten minutes before "quickly slipping away.".
Working for five years, moving six times, with the growth of income level, Wang Xuan's room area gradually expanded, 8㎡, 10㎡, 12㎡, 19㎡... At the same time, Wang Xuan's desire for items is also growing rapidly. On the bedside table, Wang Xuan put fourteen bottles of formal perfume, although he knew that the perfume was slow to consume and would soon expire, but "do not buy small bottles, large bottles are so well placed to look good." ”
Wang Xuan thought that if the home became simple and empty, would she be happy? The answer is no, she likes the feeling of being surrounded by objects.
She said all items must be prepared, taking into account every potential possibility. For guests who don't know when they will come to the door, she stockpiled more than a dozen pairs of slippers, as well as the same number of disposable toothbrushes, towels, underwear, and shoe covers. She even prepared two benches in the ten-square-meter room she was renting at the time, "What if five or six people can't sit down?" "Others will think about hoarding goods for half a year or a year at most, and I will consider two years, three years, and a long time later", "In case I will use it later.".
She felt that this "foresight" might stem from the embarrassment of childhood. When she was in elementary school, her parents were suddenly laid off, and her life was suddenly in a dilemma. She has always worn other people's old clothes, "repeatedly pulling between inferiority and conceit", and has also been collectively isolated by her classmates, and she can't even borrow an eraser.
Watching her family step by step towards hoarding, she had a sense of happiness and fullness, "Never borrow from others again!" ”
What Yu Xiaojing tasted from the hoarding was a long-lost wantonness.
Xiaojing is a "post-90s", a native of Shanghai, who has been squeezed into an old public house of more than ten square meters since birth, and "can't stretch out her hands and feet". After getting married, she and her husband moved into a new 120-square-meter house, looking at the empty three-bedroom apartment, as if she had obtained a hoarding permit and started a shopping spree.
Cotton pads and steam eye masks discounted? store up. How much more is cheaper to buy more packs of paper? store up. Li Jiaqi recommended skin care products again? Too good value, hoarding.
Unconsciously, she stored cotton pads and steam eye masks that she had not used for two years, piled up draws of paper stuffed three wardrobe compartments, more than twenty ear scoops, and as for cleaning sponges, "it should be enough for this lifetime." Not to be outdone, Xiaojing's husband bought plenty of snacks to hide in all corners of the house, "and there are childhood regrets to make up for."
After nearly 300 home tidying services, declutter Demi has seen "hoarding disorder" no surprise. Her clients are mainly 25-40 years old, mostly well-dressed, with high education and income. After entering the door, it is often found that such a scene, "Some homes are no longer home, there is no light, no wind, and it is densely packed with debris and garbage, and the whole house is piled up." ”
Wang Xuan's home. Courtesy of respondents
Appliance
In the latest move, Wang Xuan had to face up to the consequences of too many items. 24 one-meter-high large express cartons, all more than 10 kilograms, are packed, mailed, moved back, disassembled, and sorted. The heavy box reminded her to quit hoarding. However, there are countless stumbling blocks on the road to "breaking away".
The biggest obstacle is the accurate algorithmic recommendation of shopping software. "The most knowledgeable thing in the world is Taobao, every time I think something, they will immediately appear in the search box and recommendation page, you just open it, never want to stop." 」
The second is the purchasing of the circle of friends. "They're always engaged in that kind of hunger marketing, and it's especially impulsive." Contemporary buyers said that repeated outbreaks would lead to closures, and she purchased two packs of ganmei powder, which were eventually placed intact until they expired.
There are also bloggers who pay attention on major social media, "I especially like Hong Kong actor Wu Qianyu, and Korean actor Cha Jingyuan, their outfit is too attractive to me, I want to buy the same model to take it." ”
Every time there are shopping festivals such as "Black Five" and "Double Eleven", friends who also love hoarding send her product links, "Hurry to buy", "If you don't buy, you will lose a hundred million".
More importantly, she has long been accustomed to "buying, buying and buying" as an indispensable emotional outlet. In the first half of this year, the workplace and the love field encountered double setbacks, she did not know what other way to relieve herself, "almost every day to place orders", only in the moment of dismantling the courier, she can still feel a little excitement.
Sika, a finishing consultant, found that the speed of their sorting could not even catch up with the speed of customer purchases: "We only came to the door two days ago to measure and design a whole house storage plan, and when we arrived at her house, we were dumbfounded, and once the '618' (shopping festival) passed, there were more than a dozen large boxes piled up at the door." ”
After an in-depth interview with nearly a hundred hoarders, psychologist Rand Frost, author of Hoarding is a Disease, argues that to some extent, hoarders are victims of marketing: "We all expect pleasure through objects, not out of practice and experience, but because of the marketing strategy that hypes a 'possession' orientation." ”
The authors point out that what creates hoarders and hoarders is a sophisticated device: a consumer society centered on goods. It contains a variety of shopping malls, abundant shop windows, ubiquitous marketing advertising, and the cultural atmosphere is highly commercialized. At the heart of the device's operation is the universal belief in "possession"—the belief that "human existence" is tantamount to "what man possesses," using objects as a source of identity, value, and meaning.
In order to become a "real exquisite pig girl", Wang Xuan kept buying the same style of the Little Red Book blogger: to cook the hot pot to use the "net red Mofei pot", to cook noodles to use the "Japanese snow flat pot", the dinner plate to choose coarse pottery, the curtains had to be replaced by customized, the bedside table should be rattan woven, the table lamp should buy retro... She soon discovered that "exquisite" meant not one object, but a series of objects.
One item echoed the other, urging Wang Xuan to buy it. So a large number of delicate, beautiful, less frequently used items began to pile up -
Hundreds of pieces of clothing were scrawled into a three-door wardrobe and eight large storage boxes. "The whole summer is not repeated and can not be worn"; the cooking frequency is not high, all kinds of unpopular condiments are very complete, "there are more than ten kinds of sauces, otherwise I will be uncomfortable"; there are six or seven kinds of laundry detergent alone, commonly used ordinary models, condensed beads, fragrance models, cashmere washing, wool washing, silk washing, washing curtains; even shampoo should always be prepared with more than four kinds, "fluffy, supple, degreased, scalp-removing..."
When Yu Xiaojing was a housewife, she used to watch live shopping to pass the time. Hoarding discounted goods gave her a sense of fulfillment, "immersed in her own family-oriented imagination, I feel that I save a lot of money for the family", but also gave her another value - she looked forward to the moment when she took a photo after receiving the item, "Just say so, at that time, I just bought a set of SKII., I had to dry in the circle of friends, as if that would make me more confident." ”
Now she is gradually realizing the problem with this way of thinking: "I deserve it, it doesn't mean I have to buy it." Just because I don't buy it doesn't mean I'm inferior. ”
But when Xiaojing tried to escape this device - abandoning those "light luxury bags" and carrying her favorite Disney cartoon canvas bag out of the house, she was questioned by others. She remembers that once during a training session, many of the ladies present were carrying expensive bags, and the teacher saw her and said in an uncomfortable tone, "Why are you still carrying this?" ”
Finisher Sika collected cotton pads and eye masks from Yu Xiaojing's home. Courtesy of respondents
"Social Hoarding Disorder"
Too many items can quickly feel burdensome.
Wang Xuan was diligent at first, but then gradually chose to ignore it, allowing the express parcel to be blocked in the entrance, and some were placed for more than a year without opening.
Yu Xiaojing frequently quarreled with her husband over housework issues. Once she saw her husband casually put his coat on the couch after work, she couldn't help but scold him for making order in the home worse. The two blamed each other, "You're so used to it!" "It's you who has too much stuff!"
At the same time, items have hollowed out income. Last year, Wang Xuan resigned to rest, only to find that the savings of five years of work were not enough to support living in a first-tier city for three months. And Yu Xiaojing was shocked after receiving a credit card bill one day, and she found that as a housewife, she had more than 10,000 yuan of credit card debt every month. Looking up at the whole home, the satisfaction of hoarding goods has long disappeared, leaving only endless anxiety.
Wang Xuan's living room when she moved last. Courtesy of respondents
More and more people are beginning to need the help of professional finishers, which has spawned a huge market for tidying up. According to a survey by Zhongyan Puhua, as of 2020, the total output value of China's finishing and storage industry has reached 100 billion yuan, which is regarded by investment institutions as a new blue ocean with great potential; according to the data of the Ministry of Human Resources and Social Security, more than 40% of the finishing and storage divisions have achieved monthly income of more than 10,000 yuan.
Lin Jiexiao is a finishing trainer, since 2014, she has opened a number of training courses for finishing and storage engineers, teaching hundreds of practitioners, and she obviously feels that China's finishing and storage industry has ushered in a new round of enthusiasm in the past two years.
After collecting 13,282 questionnaire data of collation service consumers, Sina Leju Finance pointed out in the "2020 China Finishing Industry White Paper" that "91% suffer from 'hoarding', and 83% have more than 500 pieces of wardrobe clothing." ”
"Consumerism in the sense of 'having more possessions and wealth, the happier you are,' is gradually gaining popularity as an important part of modern ideology." Wu Jinhai, a professor of sociology at East China Normal University who has long focused on the study of consumer culture, believes that under its guidance, people are keen to possess and accumulate goods, which has contributed to the phenomenon of hoarding at the mass level.
However, in the broader narrative, as one of the "three carriages" that drive the economy, the importance of consumption to China today is self-evident. In this context, how should "social hoarding" be alleviated?
"If we understand consumption only as the purchase, possession and accumulation of things, then there is no difference between this consumption and production." From this, Wu Jinhai pointed out that the essential feature that distinguishes consumption from production is that it is a process and a consumption of time.
That is to say, when society shifts from "commodity consumption based on possession of goods" to "experiential consumption based on time consumption", the phenomenon of hoarding at the mass level can be alleviated.
In the book "Desire for Things", James Warman proposed his solution - to develop experiential consumption and sharing economy, encourage experiential consumption such as performances, exhibitions, tourism, courses, etc., and add more sharing economies such as shared bicycles and homestays that are conducive to improving the efficiency of the use of goods.
"In the 20th century, we used to buy goods to save a declining economy, and in the 21st century, we will use buying experiences to liberate crowded hearts and a precarious planet."
The philosophy of abandonment
Gong Jiakai does not intend to change his hoarding habits, "I like, I can afford it, I can afford it (tidying service)." ”
During the interview, passing by a shallot oil cake shop, Jia Kai bought a copy, plus five kinds of small ingredients, stuffed with a lot of it. Less than 10 meters later, another scallion oil cake stall appeared, and he stopped and stared at the cake on the wall of the stove while eating what he had in his hand.
"This may be more authentic," he said, saying he bought another copy.
Personally, not every hoarder needs to change. Decor Demi notes, "The question is whether it's affecting your life. Can your economic situation, living space, and psychological state carry so many things? ”
Of course, if you're bothered by this, you might try to rethink your relationship to objects.
In many sorting services, Lin Jiexiao found that people seem to naturally regard possessing objects as the only way to preserve emotions, egos, and memories.
A typical scenario is that even if a customer doesn't like a gift from a friend, he or she chooses to keep it, thinking that throwing it away is a sign of disrespect for friendship. Faced with a similar situation, she would try to ask, "If you throw these away, won't your relationship with your friend exist?" She told them that gifts could also be saved through text, pictures, videos, etc.
She believes that the process of "breaking away" is to let people learn to understand that objects are not inseparable from emotions, egos, and memories. Proper stripping can be smoothly discarded. "However, this is a gradual process that cannot be achieved overnight."
In the communication again and again, Sika, the finisher, realized that people who are plagued by hoarding may have some kind of "value disorder" at a deep level.
"A lot of people don't think about it, I want this thing because I want to do something with it? What kind of life do you want to achieve? For example, many single office workers hoard a lot of beautiful dishes and pots, but in fact, they use less than twice a year. She found that, on the one hand, people were accustomed to replacing the experience and pleasure of "using" through "possession," and on the other hand, the pleasure of short-term acquisition of objects diverted attention and replaced the most lacking long-term value.
So she tries to organize counseling services to guide clients to think, "What do you want in life?" "What do you want your home to be like?"
Yu Xiaojing is one of Sika's customers, and she still remembers Sika's "soul asking" at that time: "In a place like Shanghai, where you have such a beautiful home, do you fill it with toilet paper?" ”
Xiao Jing suddenly had a feeling of "Daigo Empowerment". She realized that having a clean and tidy space could make her and her family feel comfortable and happy, which was what she valued most in her heart. Since then, she has become more cautious about shopping and more willing to throw away unnecessary items. Now, instead of obsessing over showing off her bags and cosmetics in her circle of friends, she spends her time improving her education and finding a job as a kindergarten teacher.
Flowers on Wang Xuan's balcony. Courtesy of respondents
At the end of the interview, I asked Wang Xuan if I could recall the moments when I felt happy in the past three months, and Wang Xuan replied:
"One is to get my most ideal position, and finally I can do what I have always wanted to do, which is very fulfilling; second, when I went home to rest before, I would buy a bouquet of flowers every week on the balcony, and I was very happy to see the flowers so lush; third, when I was at home with my family, I mixed with my mother every day, sometimes I went to my grandfather's vegetable garden to pick vegetables, and my grandfather cooked for me, and I really felt very happy."
After counting, she said thoughtfully, "It doesn't seem to have anything to do with hoarding." In fact, I am trying to hoard things, maybe it is too lonely, too much need to accompany. ”
(In the text, Gong Jiakai, Wang Xuan, and Yu Xiaojing are pseudonyms, the finisher Demi's real name is Wu Jianli, and the finisher Sika's real name is Wang Zeyu)
Column Editor-in-Chief: Wang Xiao Text Editor: Wang Xiao
Source: Author: Xia Jieyi