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Family, work unit and circle of relatives and friends are different circles that make up society, around these circles and groups, the differences between people will gradually arise: some people are willing to communicate with people, so in social interactions, interpersonal relations are very good. There are also people who are exquisite in all aspects, and are very good at handling the relationship between people, which seems to be very powerful. Of course, there are also some people who are not good at communication, or who are not willing to spend too much time and energy on this kind of thing, and seem to be a bit like "lonely people".
So in social life, is there such a "norm" to guide individuals in the construction of interpersonal relationships?
In fact, at different stages of social development, there are such "mainstream" trends of thought in society. For example, in today's society, people tend to regard networking as a social resource, so that the better at communicating with people and the more able to attract various relationships seem to become people with more wealth.
However, this is only the mainstream view and does not indicate that every individual should do it this way, which in itself is not right or wrong. opposite. Psychologists also suggest that individuals in the workplace, it is best to play a kind of "marginal person" role. Of course, this is based on the premise that you do your job and have the strength.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="28" > the "marginal" theory</h1>
Kurt Lewin, a well-known psychologist who is well established in the field of psychology and a representative of topological psychology and Gestalt psychology, has analyzed the "center" and "marginal" members of the group in his theory.
Lewin, who is good at psychological analysis of social groups, has a unique insight, and based on the theory of group dynamics, he notices the outward division tendencies and inward cohesion forces that often occur in a group, which come from the forces exerted by different members on the group.
That is, in a group, two forces need to be evenly matched to maintain the stability of a group, no matter which side is too obvious, it will disrupt the original stable state.
So in the workplace, if everyone is the kind of person who behaves very conspicuously and makes the colleagues and superiors around them pay attention to themselves, they will naturally have a very powerful force that "pushes" the members of the group to the center. Then according to Lewin's theory, the group at this time will be in a state of imbalance between internal and external forces, and it is easy to become unstable.
And if the employees are all working daily and unmotivated, then the whole group will become loose and uncognized.
Therefore, as a member of the workplace, we should look for a relatively comfortable way to make ourselves comfortable and make the group stable.
The best way is to be a powerful "marginal person" who can complete his job on time and does not like to be a "head bird".
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="27" > "marginal people" are not for everyone</h1>
Although we have come to the above conclusion that "marginal people" are the goal in the workplace, this is not like a student working as a poor student in school, as long as his grades are not good, but there is a lot of difficulty.
First of all, behind the work is the indispensable capital demand for adults, in short, the need to rely on work to support the family and provide security for their own lives.
If in the workplace, your performance is too negative, the degree of work completion is not high, there is no self-motivation, and even often late and early departure, then in the eyes of superiors and leaders, employees like you are not worth hiring. Believe that this state of affairs does not last long and you will lose your job.
Therefore, we should keep in mind that whether it is "core" or "marginal", it is necessary to complete the requirements of their work, maintain a certain positive attitude and abide by the most basic working hours, which is the morality of workers.
Secondly, the so-called "marginal people" do not do nothing. It's not about being outside the social circles of colleagues and leaders, it's about learning to look for things that no one else is doing during non-working hours. For many people who are new to the workplace, the most familiar thing is to do some cleaning office hygiene, running errands for everyone, and contributing to the group outside of work.
In such an act, your difference will always be remembered by people, thus leaving a very good impression in people's minds. Although almost everyone knows these truths, in the process of practice, there will be many problems.
One of the most common situations is that as a member of the workplace, you put your own work aside, and spend most of your time on these chores of "serving tea and pouring water and cleaning", and become a cleaner alive, which is to go astray in the process of active "marginalization" and put the cart before the horse.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="23" > becoming a "marginal person" is also a wisdom of life</h1>
Life is different from film and television works, the protagonists of the latter are always those who are dazzling and have their own "protagonist aura". In life, many successful people are not the "center of the storm" figures, but those who see through the world and actively "marginalize".
After fan li helped the Yue king to complete the great cause of restoring the country with "three thousand Yue jia can swallow Wu", fan Li did not covet fame and fortune and stayed in the official field, but retired early and sailed on the Taihu Lake, which can be described as the "edge" away from the government.
During the Northern Song Dynasty, the politician and writer Han Qi and Wang Anshi were officials in the same dynasty, and after experiencing the vigorous "Wang Anshi Change", they saw through the trivialities in the political arena, resigned from the official and returned to their hometown, and even if Song Shenzong repeatedly let him become an official, Han Qi still did not waver, and finally died in his hometown, which can not be described as a kind of "marginalization".
Mr. Fei Xiaotong, a famous sociologist and anthropologist, has experienced ups and downs in his life, and has become the vice chairman of the National People's Congress after many twists and turns, but when Fei Lao, who is in an official position, goes deep into the people's investigation, he will always be treated with the general "courtesy" of the people to the visiting officials, and cannot get the real research results. As a result, Fei Lao resigned from his post in the mid-1990s, transferred from politics to academic circles, and still wrote books and lectures late in his career.
Therefore, for those of you who are in the workplace but do not know how to seek your own position, you may wish to refer to these examples and appropriately "marginalize" yourself under the premise of completing your own work to a higher extent. Despite being away from the "center", the scenery is still unique!
- The End -
Author | Tommy
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参考资料：Nkwcomb, T. M. The varieties of interpersonal at- traction, In D. Cartwrighl & A. Zander (Eds.), Group dynamics. (2nd cd.) Evanston: Row, Peterson, 1960.
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