I am Tu Zhijun, an emotional creator who loves to write, loves reading and psychology, and hopes to bring my own insights to you through my articles, relieve your worries, and welcome you to tell me your own story.
Some time ago, a reader confided in me that a friend of the opposite sex who usually has a good relationship with him seems to be deliberately alienating himself recently. She asked the other person why the other party said that there was no such thing, but she obviously felt as if she had a feeling of rejection in the company.
I asked her to recount what she had done recently, to see if she had offended the other person in a subtle way, and it turned out that it was, and she thought she was a clever performance of herself, but it had the opposite effect.
The reason she is rejected is simple, because most of the time, what you think is right is not necessarily right in the eyes of the other person.
It is human nature to love beauty, especially women, who not only care about the charm of their appearance, but also care about whether their performance in all aspects is perfect.
But sometimes, because of too eager to show themselves, often get the counterproductive effect, some more sensitive people may perceive that their behavior is somewhat inappropriate, but some people think that their approach is very clever, in fact, in the eyes of the opposite sex, has given you a subtraction symbol.
01. The woman who likes the public opinion behind it
Talking about gossip, from school to the workplace to small talk in ordinary life, seems to be the most favorite thing women do.
Gossip is actually a double-edged sword, some people use gossip to narrow the distance between themselves and friends, while some people let themselves fall into gossip and become the topic of discussion of others.
This reflects the importance of making rational use of the topic of conversation, especially in the eyes of the opposite sex, and the gossip you think may be interesting about others may make others think that you are a "big mouth" that is not worthy of deep friendship.
Even between the same sex, you may talk and laugh when you talk about others behind your back, but after that, others are bound to gradually turn away from you, because you can talk about others behind your back, then one day your friends will become the object of your discussion.
Therefore, when choosing to talk to others, even the best friends should discuss the bad points of others as little as possible, try to avoid these sensitive topics, and don't let yourself be alienated unconsciously.
02. Women who like to show off
Many people actually like to show off themselves, but some people don't know how to show off, and let their ostentatious behavior become a minus in the eyes of others.
In fact, almost all the ways to take the initiative to show off will make others feel jealous and annoying, and some people do not know it, take this behavior as a way to show themselves, and even brag and exaggerate themselves without it, once the lie is recognized, your show off will not only become a joke, you yourself will become a joke.
Even if you are excellent, don't show off through yourself, which is psychologically because the behavior that really wants others to have a sincere admiration for yourself is often not through the language of showing off, but is subtly hidden in the word of mouth of your own behavior and others.
If you are really good, others will know sooner or later, when others slowly find you, your excellence can make a deeper impression on others, rather than by showing off what you think is very smart to achieve your goals.
03. Women who over-dress up and make up
There may be fewer girls wearing makeup in school, but as they get older, it may have become a common phenomenon in college, and some girls even like to wear heavy makeup, and makeup paintings have even changed a person. You may think you're perfect after makeup, but others may not think so.
I once had a friend who, when she attended the interview, made up very heavily, was directly blown out by an examiner, thinking that she did not respect the examiner.
There may be an effect in psychology: that is, you may rely too much on makeup to cover yourself up because of your inner part of inferiority, makeup can make a person become confident, but from a male aesthetic point of view, women's makeup transition is actually not too appetizing, and even make people feel annoying, so light makeup is the best choice for women, which is also a plus in the eyes of men.
For example, when negotiating a contract in the workplace or going out to a party, a suitable light makeup can not only show your respect for the other party, but also not show yourself too exaggerated, so that you can get a plus point in dress.
epilogue
Maybe you will say: Isn't it better to be happy alive? Why do you have to care too much about others? Since you can't come out with him, don't be friends with him.
The opposite may be beautiful, but each of us cannot survive alone from society, maybe because a friend's departure has no impact on you, but if the problem is your own, then in the long run, it may affect your future development.
Therefore, don't let yourself be alienated to understand your own problems, and learn to correct them in time, which will be of great benefit to you in the future.
So how to change, in addition to the above three points, if you want to know more, reading a book that helps you is a wise choice. #情感人生 #
What other behaviors do you find that you think are good but are hated?
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