1. The professor sits opposite the peasant on the train. When bored, the professor said: I have a problem, if you don't know, give me 5 yuan; If you come up with a question, if I don't know, give you 500 yuan, such as

1. The professor sits opposite the peasant on the train. When bored, the professor said: I have a problem, if you don't know, give me 5 yuan; If you come up with a question, if I don't know, I will give you 500 yuan, how? Farmers agree. PROFESSOR: How far is the Moon from Earth? The farmer did not say a word and handed the professor 5 yuan. The farmer asked: Three legs up the mountain, four legs down the mountain, what kind of animal? The professor was puzzled and had no choice but to give the farmer 500 yuan. The farmer took the money and prepared to sleep. The professor asked: What is the animal with three legs up the mountain and four legs down the mountain? The farmer didn't say a word, handed the professor 5 yuan, and went to sleep! Low education and high IQ, too terrible!

2. This New Year's Day, I went to my cousin's house with my mother to visit relatives, and my 6-year-old nephew kept getting close to me. Kept telling me what a big red envelope their class whose uncle had given. This is to remind me, I wrapped a big red envelope of 300 yuan for my eldest nephew. I didn't expect to be returned by the eldest nephew after a while. Then told me that the new year to receive 500 yuan in red envelopes are lost, so they will return it to me.?

3. On the morning of the kindergarten, the children were sent, and after the parents left, the children cried and made trouble, almost like a pig farm! At this moment, there was only one child crouching in the corner of the wall, very quiet, and the teacher was ready to praise him. As soon as he approached, the child grabbed the teacher's mobile phone with lightning speed. I didn't even dial the number, I picked up the phone and cried at the phone: Daddy, come and save me! I was sold by my mom.

4. Three years ago, I went to my ex-girlfriend's wedding, and my ex actually had a half table. The bride is slightly belly, and the groom is very enthusiastic and constantly brings relatives and friends to toast. Before the dishes were ready, I put a few of us on the table, and I pretended to be drunk, squinting to see the groom actually take a picture and pull out a person's hair. I was nervous, he actually let me go yesterday, a stranger added me WeChat asked me: Brother, I am so-and-so husband, is your hair naturally curly or electric? How do I answer this question?

5. Just received my salary today, go to the bank after work to save money. There were so many people that I was bored and folded the numbered paper into the shape of a heart. When I was proud, I arrived, too late to dismantle, directly handed to the teller girl. The girl was stunned after getting it, looked at me, and decisively threw it into the trash. But when she saw the balance on my card, she blushed and picked it up again..."

6. The brother-in-law has used the Xiaomi Mi 3 card for more than seven years, and plans to ask for money to change a new mobile phone with the family. He smiled and asked the bumper: Dad, do you say I am changing Huawei or Xiaomi? The old man watched the TV without looking up and said: Son, I think it is still time to change your mother first! The brother-in-law asked curiously: Why? Old man: Because your mother will not agree to whichever you change.

7. The company's senior management held a celebration banquet, and several of our project participants were drinking red wine and chatting in a small corner. Lao Wu, the commissioner of personnel, talked about the problem of the car, saying that his brakes were not very good to use, and he had to honk the horn in time every time. Lao Wang of the R&D department looked at the traffic flow coming and going and said: The brakes are not good, and your seat adjustment is related! Everyone looked at Lao Wang with admiration and asked: How should the seat be adjusted? Lao Wang took a sip of Xie Baina and said: Under normal circumstances, the saddle is adjusted downwards, so that if the braking system is not timely, you can also use the foot brake... ???

8. Dinner at the father-in-law's house in the evening, after eating, I smoked and chatted with the elderly man and the husband, I don't know how to talk about divorce, I said: I heard that the divorce procedures are more complicated than before, and it is difficult to handle. The old man asked: Really? It's harder to get a divorce later! Lian Xi stood up and smiled and said: No matter how complicated it is, I am not afraid... Suddenly, I felt cold behind me, and when I looked back, my mother-in-law, my daughter-in-law, and my sister-in-law stood behind us in unison, staring at us coldly...

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