Nov.
28
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In the end, do we choose to forgive, or forget it?
Author | The heart is not heard
01
On the evening of November 23, the 32nd Chinese Film Golden Rooster Awards Ceremony was held in Xiamen.
Wang Xiaoshuai's film "Long Days and Long Days" won three awards: Best Screenwriter, Best Actor and Best Actress.
Starring Wang Jingchun and Wing Mei, after winning the film Emperor Film, re-enacted the "double egg yolk" scene of the Berlin Film Festival.
Wang Yuan, who plays his son in the play, also sent a Microblog to congratulate "Parents" on winning the award.
The interview after the award ceremony was simply a large "pet baby" scene, his parents handed his trophy to Wang Yuan, and his little hand that was flattered and had nowhere to be placed has been shaking, which is really a little cute.
Although there are not many scenes in the movie, you can still see Wang Yuan's intentions, and the loneliness and loneliness of a rebellious teenager are well interpreted.
02
Although the vignette at the awards ceremony seemed to be joyful, the movie "Long Time On Earth" was depressing.
Nearly three hours long, there are only a few happy moments, and I almost watched the second half with tears in my eyes.
Liu Yaojun, played by Wang Jingchun, and Wang Liyun, played by Yongmei, are employees of a state-owned enterprise on the eve of reform and opening up.
Shen Yingming and Li Haiyan, who are in the same unit, are their close friends.
Coincidentally, the children of the two families, Liu Xing and Shen Hao, were born on the same day in the same month of the same year, and they went to school together, played together, and celebrated their birthdays together, and they were playmates with a good relationship.
"In order to achieve four modernizations, a couple can only have one child", Wang Liyun, who is pregnant with a second child, is afraid of losing her job and has to beat the fetus.
There is a reservoir on the way to and from school for Liu Xing and Shen Hao, Liu Xing can't swim, and can only watch other children play with water from a distance.
Once, Shen Hao and Liu Xing agreed to go to the reservoir to play with water once. But after arriving, Liu Xing hesitated, and his friends laughed at them.
As a good friend, Shen Hao felt very humiliated and forcibly dragged Liu Xing into the water, and Liu Xing unfortunately drowned.
Liu Xing's unexpected death has brought endless pain and guilt to the two families who were originally laughing and laughing.
At that time, after Wang Liyun experienced a miscarriage, she could no longer be reborn and became a "family that lost her independence".
03
After the death of their son, in order to get out of the "emotional dilemma", Liu Yaojun and his wife went south to Fujian and adopted a boy, named "Liu Xing", which is the role played by Wang Yuan.
But because "Liu Xing" was too rebellious, he eventually left them.
Liu Yaojun and his wife knew very well that the death of their son was inseparable from the children of their best friends, but they endured it and did not want to poke it, and everyone lived in pain.
They have gone away, forgetting by "staying up the day", hoping that time will dissolve the conflict.
Chinese like to wait, when the children grow up, they will understand things; when the parents get old, they will not hate them; when the husband and wife can't argue, the contradictions will disappear...
But we do not realize that in the end it is not that we have become better, but that man's fragility and powerlessness have fallen in the eternity of time.
It is not time that brings reconciliation, but the impending of aging and death, more urgent and real than the harm it once did.
Liu Yaojun and Wang Liyun lived like this, guarding the empty fishing house, guarding the affection of the two people, guarding the tacit understanding of caring for each other without words, guarding the empty and static life after losing flesh and bones, and spending the days after the life was still.
Looking at the typhoon day, their pots and pans floating in the sea, they constantly pick up the picture, really feel that life is too difficult.
But they still choose to live their lives, no matter how life falls to the bottom, no matter how reality deviates from expectations, it doesn't matter, you can live while looking for new meaning in life.
Or, just don't look for it, not everyone's life needs meaning.
If giving up one's life begins with some small things, then saving one's life also starts with some small things.
If you don't voluntarily give up your life, the calamity that can truly take away your life will not come easily.
Aside from life and death, what else can we not survive?
04
Liu Yaojun can fix everything, but he can't repair the wounds in his heart; the years have left Wang Liyun with wrinkles and white hair, but he can't keep her three children.
Shen Yingming's kitchen knife was extremely sharp, but he could not cut off his obsession; Li Haiyan was tormented by illness, and no matter how painful it was, it could not hurt the suffering of life.
Shen Hao's heart grew a tree, bearing the seeds of remorse; Shen Jasmine escaped from the small city, and could not escape life after all.
There is also the teenager played by Wang Yuan, whose rebellion comes from the deep loneliness in his heart, he always hides quietly in the corner, hiding the insecurity in his heart with stubbornness and disdain.
His parents raised him but he didn't understand him at all, went to various entertainment venues to look for but couldn't see his loneliness, felt that he was bad at learning and didn't want to go into his heart.
In fact, he just longs for his own unique sense of existence, he does not want to be a substitute for emotions, he just wants to live as he really is.
He is not Liu Xing, he is Zhou Yongfu, he has thoughts and temper, but his heart is kind and gentle, he puts his gratitude and love for his parents in his heart, and he still wants to fight for his life in confusion.
Fate turns hands to clouds and hands to rain, and we are always powerless. An "untimely" pregnancy, a "glorious" layoff, can change a person's entire life trajectory.
Wang Liyun wanted to be forcibly pulled to an abortion when she wanted to be born, but now she can give birth and encourage her to give birth but she can't give birth.
God just made a joke with you, don't cry.
Thirty years is only a thought; don't expect everything to pass, it is obviously a hurdle that cannot be passed in a lifetime.
In the end, no one reconciled, just forget it.
05
I remembered that there was an issue of "Strange Story", and when the debate was concluded, Ma Dong and Cai Kangyong talked about the topic of "forgiveness".
"Over time, we will eventually forgive those who have hurt us," Ma Dong said. ”
Cai Kangyong replied, "That's not forgiveness, it's forgetfulness." ”
Cai Kangyong's words shocked me and perfectly explained the attitude towards past grievances that I have been unable to express.
Asking for and not being able to be the norm of life, dreams that cannot be realized, obsessions that cannot be put down, people who cannot be together, feelings that cannot be walked out, are all like this.
The crumpled paper cannot be flattened, the knotted rope always has traces, and the injury is the injury, we have not let go, but as time goes on, forget it.
I am a very vengeful person, it is difficult to let go of the people who have hurt me, I am too sensitive to the perception of pain, and I can't tolerate a little grievance in my heart.
After a long time of washing, the hurt I had suffered now looks back, although there is no helpless despair of the day, it still makes me feel afraid of pain.
I don't think that revenge is a disadvantage, you don't know my suffering, don't persuade me to be generous.
I will never forget myself, who was still a left-behind child, always bullied, he was a relative of the principal, spitting on my head from the second floor, peeing into my water cup, pushing me into the rotten field and muddying me.
I always have to find some reason to appease the child who once treated the world with enthusiasm, did not do anything wrong but endured grievances, and told him not to give up kindness for a few rotten people.
06
This life is too long, so long that it seems that yesterday's resentment can be healed and hidden in two days.
But this life is so short, the old friends and old things of decades ago can not be forgotten in a lifetime.
The shouting and selling at the mouth of the alley that belonged to that era spread from far away to near, as if life passed in front of us, and then left for a place where all the past would gather.
Those sour memories that cannot be erased in our lives are like an embroidery knife that is no longer sharp, and a light stroke will also leave irreparable fold marks on a thin layer of life.
People may be difficult to live for a long time, but love will always be unforgettable. After watching the movie, my heart was full of mixed feelings and tears.
Is time a good medicine, will it really dissolve the barriers between human feelings and human nature, and let us reconcile with the past and the mustard of our hearts?
— THE END —
☀ Author: The writer who is unheard of and most comforting. He is the author of the books "There is no unplainable dream in this world" and "Dreams will not live up to your hard work", public number: Zhongqu Wuwen (ID: zhongquwuwen). Burnt is published with permission.