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Picture | The Mill and the Cross
Hello everyone, it's Monday
Today I want to talk to you about "sex education".
But before that, I want to talk about the book Bear Town.
It was written by the Swedish writer Frederick Buckman, who, although the author was relatively young, was shortlisted for the International Dublin Literary Prize that year.
Bear Town is a small town, it is remote, lonely, the winter is very long, there is a lot of snow, the people of the town, know how to be silent and patient;
Bear town is a small town, a hockey hall, a couple of families, a bar, a forest, a boy and a girl, a group of boys and a few girls, a group of men and a group of women.
It is quiet. It exploded one night, when a girl's shirt was torn and a button fell to the ground.
How do we live? How to love? How to win? How to protect that precious thing? How to choose and be a better person?
It's a small town, but it's a whole world. There are a lot of people here, but in the end you only read yourself.
This is the content of Bear Town, if you are not interested in this subject, then look at what I am going to say next.
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In my opinion, this is a story full of regret and sadness.
This town is full of prejudice, but it has always had tenacity and silence.
It is a small town on the snow, and ice, forests, and bears are its symbols.
Yes, it's called Bear Town, which is the name of the book.
In an invisible corner of a territory far away in Switzerland.
The story is actually quite simple, seventeen-year-old talented champion ice hockey player Kevin raped a girl two years younger than him, Maya.
The complexity of the story is that he is the hero who fights for the town to win the championship, and this is a small town of ice hockey.
So, when Kevin was pulled off the bus to the playing field by the police on the day of the hockey final, the final win or loss of the battle was already obvious.
Because the Maya hindered the development of the town and blocked the dream of a champion for almost everyone in the town.
It's always easier to say something when you're on the sidelines than it is when you've experienced it yourself.
With the exception of Maya's parents and brother Leo, almost everyone in the town is accusing the girl of "lies", smashing the glass of Maya's room with stones written "bitch" and writing angry words on her cabinet with paint, self-righteously speculating that "fifteen-year-old girl's hormones" must be the only cause of this disaster.
They are like bystanders who have witnessed this tragedy and spoken out, pushing the girl and her family into the abyss step by step with the so-called "truth" in their hearts.
There is a passage in "The Ragged Crowd" that says—
The masses always want to see only what they think they should see, or what they want to see. They never craved the truth and turned a blind eye to unpalatable evidence. If error is tempting, they prefer to worship it. Whoever provides them with psychedelics can easily become their masters.
People will always believe only what they are willing to believe, even if it is a "truth" that runs counter to the truth.
They then present themselves as messengers of the most righteous, silencing the real victims with three words or just a few glances.
But thankfully, Maya chose to tell the truth.
When the mother went crazy and wanted to kill those who hurt her daughter, Maya simply said quietly, "We all need to continue living, please don't let those people ruin our lives anymore." Everything will be fine. ”
And this story is actually testing everyone.
When the whole town had to quickly take sides at a critical moment, Yama chose the more difficult, team without teammates - to tell himself the truth.
Even though he knew that he would lose the opportunity to play because of it, he knew that his mother might lose her job because of it, and that tomorrow the people at the police station would invalidate him because he was too drunk to see clearly, but he did not hesitate to do so.
Because his mother supported him, she said that she didn't need everything externally, she just needed her son to be really himself.
Kevin lost, when Yama told the truth he lost, but he didn't seem to lose anything, because everything he had would not be affected, he could still play hockey, and then win the championship and become a hero in the world's attention.
But I knew that he must not have won, and when Maya took a shotgun and pointed it at his head and fired an empty magazine, Kevin, who was kneeling on the ground, would always fear the darkness for the rest of his life.
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I'd like to talk about data, too, but I can't find a database about that.
All I know is that in 2009, the number of rape cases filed in our country was 33,283, but although the reporting rate in our country varies every year, it will certainly not exceed 10%.
Through the weibo hot search, we can intuitively feel the frequency of such cases, and what is very frightening to me is that there are not a few cases of sexual assault of minors.
The other day I watched an American drama called "Unbelievable"
This TV series made me understand better why most victims choose to endure alone.
For those victims who bravely speak out, I will certainly be very admired, and for those who choose silence, I will not stand by and coldly encourage them to tell the truth.
Because I know all too well what kind of world we live in and what kind of prejudices we have in this world.
In this American drama, Mary chose to call the police for the first time after being violated.
Already hurting her so much, she had to recall the things that had caused her so much pain over and over again, and the police were indifferent like emotionless machines, they couldn't see her tiredness, they couldn't feel her pain.
In addition, Mary's foster mother's reaction was really chilling.
She guessed that all this was just Mary's self-directed self-directed act, just a good play performed by a small child in order to win the attention of adults.
You might say she's really vicious.
But are there really fewer such people?
Always relying on his own experience to speculate maliciously, but deep down he is completely unaware of his own evil.
Or do the worst evil to others under the guise that I am good for you.
What makes a depressing film even more depressing is the sentence at the end of the film, "Based on real events."
The series is based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning article "The Incredible Rape Incident", which only shows the victimization of the six victims of this serial rape case, but at the end of the film we can also see that the criminal has a 75G hard drive.
I don't know what's in the hard drive, but I hope there are no more victims.
Our real lives are always much harsher than books or movies, at least the criminals in the series end up in the net, at least the victims meet the female police officers who do justice for them.
The reality is that too often, when you tell the truth, you may not be able to wait for justice in addition to being criticized from the outside world (netizens, close neighbors).
I don't know if it's just late, but I hope it doesn't miss out.
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Since ancient times, we seem to have paid special attention to the word "sex".
This kind of care is not the kind of care that wants to take good care of it and regards it as a treasure, but the kind of "care" that avoids talking about it, feels that it is extremely shameful to say it, and is eager to find a rag to cover it.
So few of our families have their own sex education, and parents rarely talk to their children about "sex" everything. Schools teach us to be the social elite, but they never tell us how to place our sexual desires.
Adolescent spring hearted children to talk about a love will be regarded as early love, even films bought from abroad, but where there is a large scale to give you "a cut"...
We thought that just avoiding talking about it would save us some embarrassment, and we thought that as long as we didn't let it appear on the screen, we wouldn't cultivate a maniac.
We think too much, but there is too much deviation between reality and ideals.
Just like the sentence of "Fang Siqi's First Love Paradise" -
"In this story, parents will be absent forever, they are absent from school, but they think they have not yet started school."
Do we keep our mouths shut, thinking that this knowledge will slowly be understood as we age? Or do you expect all children to be self-taught?
It is neither unique to humans nor different from other physiological needs.
It's never dirty, it's just that you're too dirty.
above.
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