"I envy others, but I only have a share of envy."
I always feel that everyone around me is better than myself, and I am tired of envying, and in the end I find that the people around me are also envious of others.
When people come to this world, there will be many unsatisfactory, many unfair, there will be many losses, and they will also look at others to nourish.
But there is no need to envy, because you are a unique being.
There was once a news of "post-90s dads taking their daughters to ride Tibet",
Dad took the child to ride 4139 kilometers, from Dongguan to Yunnan, and then walked the Yunnan-Tibet Line, saw the most beautiful sunset, colorful mountains, and waited for shooting stars by the campfire.
There is not much that can do this, at least there is money and leisure, and there must be enough to play, and the warmth of father and daughter envy countless people.
But this one didn't go as smoothly as it seemed.
He is a single father, initially working as a real estate salesman, running between home and company, and his salary is just enough for his children's milk powder money.
Not long after, he was fired again and did men's clothing customization.
Repeated business failures, stock speculation and loss of money, stayed up for a long time, he made more and more money, so that life was on the right track.
Before the trip, it was another crisis:
When the epidemic hit, his shop had no income, and his daughter's kindergarten could not be opened, and he suddenly felt that since the accident came too quickly, he just wanted to spend every day with his daughter.
Lucky people, like you and me, are struggling to make trade-offs.
No matter who you envy, how good his life is, most of them only see others sweet, not others bitter.
In June this year, the little sister who drove the plane, Xu Fengcan, was once wildly pursued by netizens after she showed her face in the CCTV camera because of her high appearance.
Or she went on the hot search again, completed the exam with full scores, and netizens pulled out her "laodice".
Height 165-185cm, weight between 85% and 120% of the standard, vision higher than 0.8, college entrance examination more than a line ... This is just the basic criterion for pilots.
Desperately trying to learn to take notes, but also have to undergo rigorous training.
The girl who seems to be weak and can't help the wind must sit on the high-speed rotating swivel chair every day, practice anti-vertigo ability, and endure 3000 meters running, snake-shaped running, and curved arm overhang.
Every time her mother saw her, she found new scars.
We all misunderstand too much about excellence and good life.
Their efforts and experiences, their suffering and patience, are not easy, and they hurt very much.
You have to work your own, and you have to let go of yourself.
When you are seriously busy, when you are careful to make a choice, your envy is gone.
The writer Sagan once said:
"All wandering people dream of peace, childhood, azaleas, just as all peaceful lives fantasize about vodka, bands, and drunken dreams of death.
Living well or badly is a relative thing, and the people you envy may also envy you.
Little Red Book blogger @Guanchen posted a well-proportioned photo: "Fattening success, from 79 pounds to 90 pounds, weight anxiety goodbye." ”
At first glance, fattening up and so thin, there must be someone to say that the show is superior, Versailles.
But the life of a thin person is really not very comfortable.
When Guanchen is 79 pounds, it is like skin and bones, wearing anything can not stand up, and can even be boned, often depressed, not confident at all.
She has to go to the gym every day to practice strength and avoid consuming too much fat.
The spleen and stomach must be conditioned, and a strict meal schedule has been developed.
In addition to three meals a day, 10 a.m., 3-4 p.m., after dinner, set up a supplementary fruit, bread, milk, calculate the intake is greater than the consumption, it is not easy to reach 90 pounds.
Eat spicy, cold fruit diarrhea, sleep sometimes sore.
Between people, it is difficult to empathize, the same thing, good and bad two sides.
Your troubles may be the desires of others.
The complaints of others are not that they are not blessed in the midst of blessings.
In the Oscar-winning best live-action short film "The Neighbor's Window", the mother with three children is immersed in chai rice oil and salt every day and quarrels with her husband.
The children cried out for a moment that they were hungry, and the next they had a runny nose, and she had to get it all. Catching up with the child sick, she only slept 4 hours at night.
The neighbors on the opposite floor have no scruples about making love to their husbands, and they have a carnival party on Christmas Eve, how to see how to envy.
In fact, the man in the neighbor's house was diagnosed with a serious illness and died soon after.
From beginning to end, she was the one who was envied, with a happy family and lovely children.
No life is perfect, others have the vitality that you can't envy, and you have the stability that others can't envy.
You envy others for being thin, and others envy your appetite.
Even if you envy people who have money, others will envy that no one is looking for you to borrow money.
Becoming the person you envy is not necessarily how cool it is.
Enjoy what you have, but it's certainly cool.
Whether life is perfect is not in whether you do things smoothly or not, and how much money you make, but how you face life.
Different mentalities, in the eyes of a completely different life.
Someone in Douban posted: "I am 33 years old this year, husband and wife love each other, the baby is about to be born, buy a house and have savings." ”
The blogger's husband is handsome, can do housework, and gives her a sense of security. The mother-in-law did not interfere with them, and often sent messages to her heart.
Work is her own interest, more money to live less close to home, is simply a winner in life.
But it was also the same post, she posted: "I can also say that the marriage is naked marriage, bought a small off-plan house, or I am out of the big head." ”
Her husband has anxiety disorders, her mother-in-law has bipolar disorder, and familial psychological disorders may be passed on to children.
The work has entered a period of burnout, the industry is narrow, and there are not many options.
As my parents grew older, I was so far away as an only child that I couldn't cope with it.
It seems like a world of difference, but it is the same person's life.
Life in your eyes, whether it is sweet and sweet, or a gray, is determined by your mentality.
If the mindset is good enough, the days themselves will go by and on.
Hinohara Shigeaki, a 105-year-old physician, shared his story of flying a lot but always fearing heights and having witnessed a hijacking.
At the age of 58, his hands were tied with hemp rope, and he was not allowed to move, and he was not allowed to go to the toilet.
Afraid of the terrorist impulses, he calmly communicated with them, talked about literature, philosophy, and parents, and reassured them, and finally survived until he was saved.
He has not left a shadow since then, and has embarked on new challenges along the way.
101 years old in a helicopter;
At the age of 102, he wrote his first fairy tale book;
First horseback riding at the age of 103.
The things that were not completed in the first half of life, as the body grew older, became more and more complete.
When he was interviewed, his words were full of satisfaction and gratitude, whether it was the trauma of the terrorist attack, the grief of his wife's death, or the unhappiness of conflict with others, he was calm.
As Proust said, "The journey of discovery is not about finding a new landscape, but about having a new eye." ”
With a new vision, there is naturally no shortage of new landscapes in life.
What you can't ask for is not demanding, and you can get enough to know how to cherish, and you will eventually become a better version of yourself.
Occasionally looking back at the past, I will also feel:
Everything is the favor of Heaven.
In the comic strip "Those Who You Once Envied", those scenes are particularly real.
The girl who failed to find a job recalled her 6 interviews, infinite disappointment and frustration, and envied the successful interviewer;
People who successfully passed the interview secretly calculated that 6,000 before tax, more than 4,000 in hand, and only more than 3,000 probationary periods, so as to envy the monthly salary of more than 10,000;
Programmers who knock on code have a monthly salary of thirty thousand, have never been off the shift on time, their heads are bald, and they just want to live a nine-to-six life;
Working mothers leave work on time, rush to pick up their children, and are scolded by leaders every day...
No matter where you are, there is always someone taller than you.
But no matter where you are, there will always be someone who looks up to your happiness.
It is not unusual to find others dazzling and dim, while smart people have long learned to be self-consistent.
The road of life is still long, it is better to enjoy your own luck and take your own path.
Click "looking", let go of the envious eyes, and always see the distance.
Author | Yew, the iron lady of the post-90s cute system, can turn the knife with a pen, and the eyebrows are smiling.
Image | Visual China