With a capable short hair and a warm smile on her face, Huang Yanfang, who has 25 years of trial experience, is a family trial judge at the Huangpu People's Court of the Second People's Court of Zhongshan City, and is also a national psychological counselor, marriage and family counselor, and children's painting psychological counselor.
"Family disputes are like a thick haze, we must use the law to guide the parties, guide the parties with our hearts, and protect every small family with love." In recent years, Huang Yanfang has concluded more than 300 cases per year, and the mediation and withdrawal rate has reached 70%.
A special kind of warm mediation
In the special school, Xiaoli played happily on the slide. Parents Ah Shou and Ah Di watched from a distance, with a long-lost smile on their faces, and they chatted about implementing Xiaoli's enrollment and re-adding each other to their WeChat friends.
▲Huang Yanfang introduced the child's situation to the school
Who would have thought that just two hours ago, Ah Shou and Ah Di were still arguing fiercely, and the oppressive atmosphere had enveloped the family for many years. Ah Di once said in the divorce complaint that she did not want children and money, just to escape.
What is the crux of the contradiction in this family? In order to find the answer, Huang Yanfang visited the parties and their relatives many times to understand the situation.
▲Huang Yanfang organized both parties to carry out mediation in the psychological counseling room
It turned out that the family had a family of six living in the warehouse of the commissary. Poor incomes, mentally handicapped daughters, physical ailments, and constant quarrels overwhelmed them. Huang Yanfang secretly decided: "I want to help them get out of the predicament and let the light shine into this home." ”
After several contacts, Huang Yanfang learned that taking care of Xiaoli with intellectual disabilities is the core of family conflicts. After many home visits and observations, Huang Yanfang found that the family loved Xiaoli very much.
"Resolving conflicts cannot be based on the case itself, and dispute resolution cannot be done only in court." This is Huang Yanfang's case-handling concept all along. This time, she was even more desperate to contact caring people from all walks of life, and found a special children's school for Xiaoli, and some bursaries were provided by the student aid institutions.
▲Huang Yanfang linked up with relevant departments to help children enroll in special schools
On January 5 this year, Huang Yanfang once again organized Ah Shou and Ah Di to mediate. In the children's observation room of the courtroom, Xiaoli was attracted by books and toys and played happily, while Huang Yanfang chatted with Ah Shou and Ah Di about home. When she told Ah Shou and Ah Di about the recommendation of Xiao Li to enroll in a special children's school, they were very surprised and excited. Things are developing towards expectations, and Huang Yanfang has conducted psychological counseling for the two from the perspective of how to correctly handle family relations, and popularized legal knowledge such as the protection of minors and the parents' maintenance obligations.
▲ Ah Shou took a picture of the child who was doing a psychological sand table test
After an afternoon of mediation, Ah Di filed for the withdrawal of divorce proceedings, and the couple could not wait to ask Huang Yanfang to take them to the special school to see. The haze that once hung over this home finally dissipated.
Let the happy home continue with love
In love for four years, married for twenty years, and having two children, Ah Mei and Ah Wei, who were once in love with each other, complained to each other in the trivial matter of chai rice oil and salt, and Ah Mei filed a divorce lawsuit with the court.
As usual, Huang Yanfang reads the papers, meets and investigates with the work idea of "law + psychology", learns more about the inner feelings of both parties for this marriage, sorts out the marital and family background, emotional status and prominent contradictions of both parties, and finds out the crux of "failure to communicate effectively, resulting in deepening misunderstandings".
▲Huang Yanfang organized the parties to carry out post-trial mediation
"In the exchange, I can feel ah mei and ah wei's concern and concern for the family and children, as well as the nostalgia for the beautiful past." Huang Yanfang believes that the focus of this case is not on the determination of facts, but on helping the family build a bridge of communication, splicing and reorganizing their subjective views on family trivia, so as to open the knot and promote the reunion of the broken mirror.
Therefore, Huang Yanfang organized a two-sided talk after figuring out the ins and outs of the case, and guided both parties at the emotional level from the perspective of how to deal with family relations. After observing that both of them looked at the problem more rationally, Huang Yanfang began to analyze the advantages and disadvantages of divorce with them, explore ways to resolve disputes, and the contradictions between the couple were gradually solved.
▲Huang Yanfang guided both parties to witness the child's painting
Then, Huang Yanfang guided the husband and wife to paint the "palm tree" of love with the child, and when they saw the child write "I love my family" on the painting, Ah Mei and Ah Wei were deeply touched. In Ah Wei's clumsy confession, Ah Mei wiped away her tears and choked up and said, "Don't leave, let's go home."
In the courtroom, the original fierce quarrel turned into a warm confession, and the family that was once on the verge of being broken was finally reunited.
Find the best solution for your child's growth
The well-appointed mediation room is particularly inviting, with toys, colourful pens and drawing paper on the table. Here, Huang Yanfang is not only a judge who sets points and stops disputes, but also a kind aunt in the eyes of children.
Not long ago, Huang Yanfang received a small guest Xiaoxing here, she is the daughter of A Hong and A Ming, the parties to the divorce case. The relationship between the two parties has indeed broken down, and they have agreed to divorce, but neither of them will let go of the custody of their daughter Xiaoxing.
Who should raise the child to be more conducive to their healthy growth? Huang Yanfang decided to ask Xiaoxing to communicate face-to-face with the psychological counselor to make a more direct observation and judgment.
▲Huang Yanfang cooperated with psychological counselors to carry out mediation
When she saw Xiaoxing, Huang Yanfang deliberately changed her uniform and talked to her cordially while playing with toys and painting with her. When talking about her parents and mothers, Xiaoxing told Huang Yanfang: "My mother often loses her temper and beats me, but my father will not." ”
Subsequently, Huang Yanfang arranged for Xiaoxing to communicate and interact with her parents separately, and she found that when she was alone with her mother, Xiaoxing seemed very restrained, but when she was with her father, she would naturally pull her father to draw together.
Through Xiaoxing's painting, Huang Yanfang analyzed Ah Hong and A Ming from the perspective of children's painting psychology: the little girl in the painting, smiling and opening her arms in the heavy rain, seems to be waiting for a hug, which is actually a reflection of Xiaoxing's psychological needs, and she hopes that her parents can stop arguing.
▲Huang Yanfang accompanied the child to paint
"Parents divorce, and the biggest harm is the children." Huang Yanfang said, "In the process of handling the case, we must reduce the harm to the child as much as possible, from the perspective of the healthy growth of the child, choose the best caregiver for the child, and at the same time clarify the parenting obligations to them and guide them to protect the child together." ”
After listening to Huang Yanfang's analysis and persuasion, Ah Hong finally understood her problem, and she expressed her respect for her daughter's choice and cared for her growth. Amin crouched down and gently told Xiaoxing, "Mom will always be your mom, although we don't live together, but we will always be family." ”