Introduction: I am still single so far, and although I enjoy my current state, I really don't want to be single forever. I found that people nowadays have two views, one is: say at every turn, men are poor, can't afford to raise wives and children, choose to lie flat, single, and lonely for a lifetime. There is another kind of: women, because they now have the ability to support themselves, when choosing a person, they can choose to marry, do not want to choose to marry, and there is, since they can support themselves, live well, why marry, do the work of a nanny, have children, is not it a loss to themselves? What do you want? All these views are benevolent and wise, and all make sense, and as an ordinary person, I can't tell which is more reasonable. However, although I can't tell the difference, because there is this real person and real thing that I have seen with my own eyes, so I want to say that if I can, no matter how tired I am, I will still choose two people, choose to be normal people, have children, and take a normal road!
Let's take a look at this true story together.
Character: Li Xinghua (pseudonym, deceased).
Location: A rural area (mountain village) in Guizhou.
Date of birth is unknown, estimated to be in the 1950s, died around 2010.
Identity: The youngest son of the landlord, the second brother of the three brothers, unmarried in his life, childless and childless.
Why write this story: Because, every ordinary man, should have an epitaph that proves that he, in this world, he has ever come. Another purpose is to say that both men and women, if it is possible, meet people they like and like themselves, please use the family lifestyle, life, do not choose to be single for a lifetime, the previous life is very leisurely, the second half of life is very lonely, and the old age is very desolate.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="9" > First, every era has memories that belong to that generation, and today, we sound like stories</h1>
Perhaps, from the time Li Xinghua was born, he did not expect that his life would be such a turbulent life. If times had not changed, he would have been the youngest son of a landlord, and it would have been fine to live a carefree life for the rest of his life. However, the fact is that not long after his birth, the liberation of new China and all of China ushered in. Then, the life of their family was not good, he was the youngest, so the landlord's good life, in fact, he did not enjoy it at all.
The only fortunate thing was that he was still young at that time, and he was not like his father and brother, who were scolded by thousands of people, stinky landlords, and smelly intellectuals. It was also because of his young age that he did not have the opportunity to wear a pointed hat, be put on the neck with a wooden knife, and dragged to the streets to show the public. Kneel on the podium and accept the criticism. (Don't ask me how I knew these things, that's what Li Xinghua's brother (we call him Uncle) later told us.)
Therefore, it is said that at the beginning of man, nature is good. However, from the moment of birth, his identity was doomed, in that era, it was a natural evil, which made him choose to leave his hometown and go out of town when he grew up.
He said very little, basically, no one knew where he went alone in that turbulent era, and finally for what reason, he returned to the place where he was born and raised, and then lived here for a long time until he had finished this life.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="15" > Second, he has a pen and a set of washed yellow Zhongshan suits that are very formally worn</h1>
Perhaps, in his bones, he has always believed that he is a cultural person, or perhaps, as the youngest son of a landlord, he was influenced by his father's generation, and he originally had the genes of a cultural person in his bones.
So, when he appeared in front of our eyes, most of the time, he was wearing his yellow-washed Zhongshan suit, and, in his pockets, he could always see the pen that looked older, bulkier, but seemed to be of good quality.
In my memory, I seem to have seen him write, that hand of pen writing, I dare to say, can kill many calligraphy masters who write pen characters today, unfortunately, throughout his life, his pen characters, can not get out of that mountain village, and finally drowned in the ocean of time.
Later, by the ninth year, I was already a big kid and already had my own memories. At that time, although the material was poor, at least the year was getting better and better. His yellowed Zhongshan suit was rarely worn. Naturally, I didn't see his pen anymore.
Later, one of his nephews, a small child, told us that it was his second uncle's treasure, and he hid it in his cupboard, and ordinary people were not allowed to enter his room, but the little nephew always quietly went in and turned it over, and did not find it.
I think that at that time, in fact, he did not need a pen, that pen, more like a totem, indicating that he was once a cultural person, more like a memory, indicating that he was also a young man who went south and north, with great ambitions.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="23" > Third, he always lived in the smallest and darkest room in the house, the home cowherd king, and the most inconspicuous laborer</h1>
Perhaps because he did not start a family, neither the old wooden house of that year nor the brick house built later left him a decent room. His room, always arranged in the smallest corner, was called by us countrymen: Dao Alley. It is a small room behind the incense of each household in the countryside that can accommodate two people. That kind of room, the light is very poor, the ventilation is also poor. It was as if, too big a room for him, would be excessive, for it was a lonely soul.
The most he did in this family was to herd cattle. At that time, every household in the countryside could raise cattle. They had three cows, and then it became his way of life. When his nephew was young, he used to follow him behind his ass, and his ass was upside down. Later, when the nephew grew up and studied, he stopped following, and he herded his own cattle.
Perhaps, at that time, herding cattle was the most leisurely thing in his life. Cows eat grass, he recalls life, yes, because his life, there are only memories, there is no future, there is never a future.
Although he is a person who has seen the world, every spring planting and autumn ploughing, he is the one who silently does it. Ploughing the fields, ploughing the land, planting seedlings, planting corn, sowing seeds and fertilizing, are all things he often does. As long as the family needs it, the arrangement is not arranged, he is the one who silently follows, silently to complete these things, and all he asks for is just a full meal.
Ordinary people's lives, in fact, there are no ideals, in his body, vividly expressed.
Otherwise, in all these years, he had never heard him say that he wanted to find a partner, set up a home, or go climb a mountain and meet someone. He, none.
Most of his life, except for the years when he was out and about, I don't know what he did anyway, it was a plain rural life, and if I had to make a metaphor, it would be transparent like a super thin white paper.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="32" > Fourth, years will never make a person dull forever, enjoy the freedom of loneliness, there will be unbearable torture</h1>
Perhaps, he never thought that he would have an old day, nor did he think that when he was old, it was useless, how others looked at him, and how he lived this life.
I don't really know much about his later life, when I've finished high school and gone to college, and I've rarely returned to the place where I was born and raised. So, the later stories have become hearsay, yes, just hearing.
I remember, this is what his sister-in-law said, she said: "The second uncle is old, more than sixty, can't do anything all day, all day at home, I cook and eat, except to eat, there is no use." A person, it seems to be very cold, the edge of the fire (Guizhou rural winter roasting, digging a square pit in the living room floor, putting charcoal in it for warmth) is so big, he rides on it alone, others can't roast the fire, the clothes stink, I don't call him, I don't change down to wash me..."
Once, when I came home in my sophomore year, his nephew was at home, and he made a pot of good dishes at home, and asked a few of our friends in the village to get together. At noon that day, we were all together, when the second uncle sat alone by the fire, occupying a large piece of land, and then the child set the table to eat, and the second uncle did not move, so his nephew was angry, just like scolding the child, the second uncle did not speak, and left in a gray slip. That meal, I ate very badly. I remember saying to his nephew, "How to say, we are all juniors, we shouldn't treat our elders like this." "I forgot how his nephew answered me at that time, and today, more than ten years later, every time I think about it, I still feel sad."
A big man, because he has no children of his own, lives with his brother, and in his old age, his nephew can scold himself like a child. If you have children, will your children do this to yourself?
I don't know what the second uncle thought at that time, but I can remember that his face was really ugly at that time, but he didn't say a word, but just walked away silently and returned to his own alley that could accommodate the width of his body.
Perhaps, there is only there, and there is another piece, his own place, and only there, no one can talk to him.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="41" > Fifth, that little thing, I used to be a child, and now I think about it and regret it</h1>
Remember, at that time, there was not much to eat, so every year after the corn harvest, people often went to the countryside to pack grain flowers. There should be many people who have seen that thing, that is, a black iron bile, there is a shelf, there is a handrail on one side, which can be optional, mounted on the fire, constantly rotating, filling corn in the iron bile, putting a little sugar or saccharin, frying for ten minutes, aiming at the sack, opening the exit, you will hear the "touch" of a lifetime of loud noise, baogu flowers are made.
On that day, the person who packed the valley flowers was right in front of my house, in the whole village, adults and children, all came here to pack the valley flowers.
Children are like this, other people's things, are good things, each family's bag of grain flowers out, we scramble to grab, in fact, is a small hand to grab a handful, into the mouth.
Then, the second uncle and his family also packed grain flowers, we children, also went to grab, the second uncle did not let, but also said, "Your family also fought, eat your family's go, my family is not a little fragrant, why rob our family?" ”
When I was young, I said, "You are such a delicate person (the meaning of miserliness in the country vernacular), it is no wonder that you can't find a wife in your life."
After saying that, I ran away, I still remember, the pig liver color on his face at that time, at that time, I was triumphant, and now people are middle-aged, only to realize that exposing scars and hurting others is really big, it really shouldn't be, although at that time I was still a child.
So, later I told myself, don't expose people short, immoral, don't laugh at other people's shortness without suffering from others. Many stories, with a different name, the protagonist is himself.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="50" > six, years will eventually take away everything, happiness or pain, all drift away with the wind, the second uncle is also taken away, but it is not decent</h1>
It is not an exaggeration to describe the life of the second uncle with a desolate evening view.
At that time, due to years of labor, he was only in his sixties and his health was already very poor.
Can't do heavy work.
You can't herd cattle either.
Then his status at home is getting lower and lower, and perhaps he himself does not feel his own sense of existence. No one cares about him and what happens in the end. Because, the brother who was closest to him by blood, at that time, was also an old man.
Except for someone to cook and eat, everything else needs to take care of themselves.
In fact, in old age, there is nothing else to do, that is, to wash clothes by yourself, to help the family, that is, to occasionally sweep the floor, feed the pigs, and nothing else. Too old, can not carry the shoulders, can not pick, really like a wasted man.
When you are young, people rarely get sick, and everyone is the same. In old age, it is different, rheumatism is a barrier that cannot be crossed, and the second uncle is the same, the body is rickety, and it is not possible to walk, but he still needs to take care of himself, at least, to wash his own clothes. Wear is worn, after all, no big home, relatives and friends will send, is to wash, no one to help him wash every day, so you have to rely on yourself.
That winter had just passed, and early spring had just arrived, and it was the day when the children started school after the end of the year. The weather was still good that day, and the second uncle took his own basin, went to the river to wash his clothes, and then plunged into the shallow water, and never looked up again. Moreover, coincidentally, during that time, no one found out. Knowing that the primary school student was out of school, he saw that there was a person by the river, as if he was staring at something in the water, but he felt that it was not right, so he told his own adult, and when his adult came to see, he was frightened, and dragged the second uncle to the river, which was already out of gas.
It is said that the same life, a hundred kinds of death, the second uncle estimated that he never thought that he would have such a day, shallow riverside, will make himself break his soul. Perhaps, all this has long been fixed.
The second uncle's life ended like this, his brother, for his scenery was buried, received a lot of gifts, even if it is his last bit of residual heat, but also his life, the most decent farewell, but what does this have to do with him?
Well, this story, here it is, the writing is limited, everyone forgives a lot, but it only records the approximate course of the second uncle's life.
Many years later, when I was married, lost my lover, and looked back on the past, I found that the second uncle was alone and lonely all his life, and I, too, had been lonely for many years and became a single dog in people's mouths.
Compared with my second uncle, I am far away, and now I live in a first-tier city in China, and I have not considered going back. Besides, although I lost my lover, I still have my own house, my daughter, which is a little better than my second uncle. Good thing, there is a small cotton jacket, I care about my father at every turn, and I also have a small house of my own, which will not be sent under the fence.
However, after all these years, I still feel single and he is not fragrant. No matter what others discuss, how free and beautiful it is to be single, in fact, I am not envious. In addition to financial freedom and physical freedom, being single is not very good. For example, the feeling of being alone will make you toss and turn in many sleepless nights, unable to find someone to talk to, happy and unable to share with others, although your parents are still alive, but can you tell them your thoughts? Obviously not either.
Although every life, in thought, is destined to be lonely, I don't like it, I am physically lonely, I don't like it, I am in a vast sea of people, but I always feel that I am a person, and everyone else is a stranger. In my opinion, being single is a disease, suffering from gain and loss, lonely and isolated. So, if you can, you won't choose to be single.
Back to our story today, in old age, people's health has declined, and in order to have a little quality of life, in addition to having savings, you still need someone to take care of, this person may be your wife, or it may be your children. People who have wives are the luckiest, because they are beautiful and ugly, and in old age, they are the same, but at least, there is a person who supports each other, knows cold and knows heat, and will not let himself be like a lonely stray dog, no one asks, living, the heart is always warm. It is also good to have children to accompany and take care of, whether it is a person or an animal, blood affection is overwhelming. The so-called children are not ugly, and dogs are not poor. Their own children, no matter how bad, will also manage themselves, which is the same as asking someone to take care of themselves, living to rely on their brothers, or nephews and nieces, are reliable, after all, the next yarn, the next mountain, not so close, who will care about you?
Therefore, I advise those who are conditionally not single, or not to be single. I advise men and women who always clamor all day long for being single, don't take advantage of their youth to be blind, and in their old age, some of your sins are the bitter fruits of their own sowing. Don't expect the nursing home to save you, because in that place, at most, you can only guarantee that you have food and clothing, and when you enter that place, there is always a feeling of waiting for death. And, as a person, we need to maintain a sentient and righteous family relationship, otherwise, how can we proudly say, I am a person?
Well, today's sharing is here!
------------------------------------
After the eighties, and the year of establishment, close to not confused, life has passed a third (if you live to a hundred years old), brilliant, but also failed, now single, today's article, is to tell everyone, it is best not to be single, including myself, so, single men and women, do not always feel that they are too good, first single, but learn to find balance, find a suitable person, let yourself have no regrets.
Finally, I wish everyone to live as they like and have a happy and beautiful family!
![Foreign "black widows" coerced young girls into marrying middle-aged bachelors, and then instructed gangsters to kill their husbands and cheat on insurance[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)