A high school girl who studied consciously and diligently, especially physics, very well. However, in a class in her third year of high school, she found that the teacher would talk about everything herself. This "sense of metropolis" actually made her suddenly have a sense of panic.
She began to doubt herself: "Can I really understand?" Worst of all, since then, her physics grades have begun to decline.
Why is this happening?
On the surface, it is only the decline in grades caused by exam anxiety, but in reality, this psychological problem can be traced back to the Oedipus period complex.
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What is the Oedipus Complex?
The Oedipus complex, also known as the Oedipus complex, is a term used by psychoanalytic schools in psychology. "Oedipus" is derived in part from the classic Greek tragedy King Oedipus.
The King of Oedipus is a classic tragedy by the ancient Greek playwright Sophocles.
In the play, the King of Thebes is cursed to say that his future child (Oedipus) will one day kill him and marry his mother and have children. The king of Thebes was so shocked by this prophecy that he ordered the baby to be discarded in the wilderness and waited for death. But a shepherd found him and gave him to the king of a neighboring country as a son.
Oedipus did not know who his real parents were. When he grew up, he did many heroic deeds and won the wife of Queen Aeocaste. Later, when the plague spread in the country, he learned that one of the travelers he had killed years ago was his father, and that it was his own mother who was now sleeping with him.
The ashamed and embarrassed Iokaste hanged herself, and the shocked and angry Oedipus stabbed herself blind with her brooch and ran madly into the wilderness...
This tragedy shows the story that takes place in a man's inner world. Freud, who was engaged in psychological clinical analysis at the time, had studied the existence of the "Oedipus Complex" or "Oedipus Complex" at the bottom of the minds of children and adults, and inspired by this play, he named this unconscious mental process "Oedipus Complex".
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Problems arising from the Oedipus period
Psychology expert Zeng Qifeng once said: All neuroses are Oedipus complex.
The high school girl in the above case, on the surface, has exam anxiety, so it is difficult to get good results, but a deeper analysis, this is a kind of self-limitation for herself.
She can't be 100% sure that she will do well in physics, so she will feel guilty, so she makes herself appear anxious.
This sense of guilt comes from the Oedipus period, winning the competition with her peer parents, and her high score to beat others will make her subconsciously activate the guilt of "beating her mother, winning father's love and attention" in the former triangular competitive relationship.
Oedipal conflict contained content related to competition: if you win, you will feel guilty; if you lose, you will be depressed and unhappy, and you will be prone to passive attacks in the future.
These will have a lot of impact on our future work, study and life, and we need to explore our own Oedipal conflict (which may require professional help).
In addition, have you encountered some familiar scenarios such as the following:
1. Some students usually have high scores in the exam, but when they reach the key exam, they play abnormally;
2. Some people, buy new clothes, new shoes, have to put a year and a half before wearing or using, after wearing it still feel embarrassed;
3. Someone goes to the barber shop to change a beautiful hairstyle, and there will be a little feeling of embarrassment in an instant;
4. A person who has made a fortune and does not dare to use it calmly, he must donate a part to be at ease;
5. Some adolescent girls, anxious about their own developing figure, try their best to hide, do not dare to expose;
6. Some elderly people, obviously have economic strength, but they want to live a very shabby life, thinking that luxury is shameful.
All of these problems stem from the Oedipal conflict, which led to the failure to develop a good triangular relationship of the original family when he was a child.
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Ternary relations in the Oedipal period
Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, argued that:
Children begin to seek sexual objects from the outside world during the selection of objects for sexual development. In the case of young children, this object is first of all parents, boys choose their mothers and girls often choose their fathers.
Children make such choices, partly because of their own "sexual instincts", but also because the stimulation of their parents reinforces this tendency, that is, because the mother prefers her son and father.
In the Oedipus period, the child, the father, and the mother formed a ternary relationship structure.
The child's growth process is from monistic to binary, then to ternary relationship, and then from ternary to binary, unary relationship.
Only by going through such a process can a person enter the society smoothly develop a relationship with the opposite sex and peers.
For example:
Some boys have a strong, highly controlling mother who treats their children almost as their own, while fathers are missing.
Then in the Oedipus period, if the boy and the mother are too close, and there is no father to guide the boy from a binary relationship to a ternary relationship, then the boy will have difficulty accepting other girls and developing a romantic relationship when he grows up.
If the father can establish an intimate relationship with the mother, then the boy's Oedipus complex prompts him to "imitate the father" to obtain the mother's love, which can help the boy reduce the Oedipus complex and develop manhood.
German family therapist Bert Hellinger argues:
Boys are mainly influenced by their mothers during the fetal period and early childhood. If he can't break through this influence, the influence of his mother will fill his mind and body. He will feel the power and importance of his mother deeply.
Under the influence of his mother, he is likely to become a relationship cheater and flirting master in the future, but he cannot grow into a man who cherishes women and maintains a long-term partnership, cannot become a good father, and cannot maintain an equal relationship between men and women.
He must abandon the most primitive and intimate attachment to his mother and accept his father's influence.
In the Oedipus period, the addition of fathers allows children to be "separated" from their mothers, promoting the growth of children independently and the development of sociality.
In other words, after the father intervenes in the mother-child relationship, he swears sovereignty, prevents the son's mother-to-mother plan, and then uses a good father-son relationship to alleviate the son's frustration, so as to establish a solid family triangle.
Demonstrating to children that "love can be shared" is the healthiest way to deal with Oedipal conflict.
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How to avoid a serious Oedipal conflict?
The Oedipus period is a critical period of our psychological development, if this period is not well developed, it is easy to cause many problems, such as: mom and baby man, homosexuality, interpersonal tension, exam anxiety, extramarital affairs, postpartum depression and so on.
When we enter the society, the relationship between people gradually starts from the relationship between mother and baby, flesh and blood, and gradually expands, resulting in a wider range of emotional and relationship connections such as friendship, love, teacher-student relationship.
In the relationship interaction between people, people often find many interpersonal problems, the root can be traced back to the original family triangle relationship in the Oedipus period, but the shortcomings in this exchange can trigger people to reflect and adjust, so as to be updated and improved, so that they can have good friendship, love, teacher-student relationship.
How can you avoid serious Oedipal conflicts and have good relationships and lives?
We need to constantly learn psychoanalysis, learn the laws of Oedipus's development, and explore ourselves.
At the same time, we must also prepare our children for the development of a healthy personality during this period and build a healthy three-dimensional relationship.
Professor Li Ming, a well-known psychoanalyst, called the change and development of this ternary relationship "three dependences".
The first one: leaning towards same-sex parents
Second: Leaning towards parents of the opposite sex
Third: Lean again toward same-sex parents
The first two depend on a non-traumatic "unreliable" transition to a smooth transition to the third, and the third depends on a non-traumatic "leaning up". In this way, we can complete the tasks and abilities of the Russian period and successfully complete the psychological development of this stage.
Professor Li Ming will be teaching in Shenzhen on a two-topic , Oedipus Intensive & Empathy Analysis and Processing Techniques.
Explain to you the wonderful content of the Oedipus period, the highest stage of personality development in classical psychoanalysis, so that you can self-reflect and perceive new horizons for personal and child growth.
Links to detailed courses:
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