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The feelings of "nothing to say" are dead
What does the most desperate intimacy look like? The answer may be "nothing to say."
In the Korean movie "Everything About My Wife", the heroine always handles housework while "nagging" at her husband:
"How does the juice I squeeze taste?"
"Aren't you the favorite for pasta?"
"Can you accompany me out for a walk on the weekend?"
The husband responded with a word or two at first, and then he grew tired of it to the extreme. To distract his wife, he even paid for someone to pursue her.
Taiwan has a similar short film called Strangers at the Dinner Table.
In the short film, most of the sounds in the room are the sound of television sets, the sound of people walking around, the sound of flipping books, the sound of tapping the keyboard, and a very small part is the sound of a question and answer by a husband and wife, and a simple communication.
Whether it is a movie or a short film, it is suffocating to watch.
I remembered a question on Zhihu: "At what moment did you realize that you didn't love each other anymore?" ”
One of them, Gaozan replied: "When I saw a strange tree on the road, I didn't take a picture and send it to him to admire as usual." ”
It turns out that the relationship becomes farther and the feelings become weaker, starting from the difficulty of opening and lazy communication:
Eating the long-awaited dessert and watching the drama of the heart and mind, you are very happy, but you "forgot" to share this joy with your partner;
Unwell, in a bad mood, poor performance, you are sad, aggrieved, hiding in the bed and crying very loudly, but still "forgot" to tell your partner.
Is it really "forgetting"? No. You have also been twittering and giggling, but the other party is always lacking in interest, and when you are disappointed, you are more and more silent and more reluctant to say.
In Nonviolent Communication, it is said that language is either a window or a wall.
The feelings of "nonsense" are the most real
Someone said, "Words are the voice of the heart." ”
When we want to get close to someone, the first thing that must be moved is the mouth. It conveys what we think in our hearts to the outside without reservation.
The American film "Love Before Dawn", known as one of the "Talking Trilogy", tells the story of a strange man and woman who fall in love because they talk about "nonsense".
On the train to Vienna, Jesse met Selena and fell in love with her at first sight. In that small space, they talked about their childhood, talked about ideals, and shared each other's views on their parents.
They are all ordinary topics, but the two have a good chat and are very close.
Han Han said that the by-product of love is nonsense.
Indeed it is.
I remember that on a variety show, the host asked Zhao Youting, how do you get along with Gao Yuanyuan?
Zhao Youting's answer was simple, with only two words: Wild Talk.
No matter how big things, small things, good things, bad things, funny things, and bad things, he must share them with Gao Yuanyuan.
And Gao Yuanyuan is always very "popular", not only can understand the interesting points from the trivial expression, but also can give an example and extend a new topic from a topic.
The most comfortable state in the relationship is that the story has been told, the hearts have been exchanged, and in the change of time, we can still talk freely.
The warmth of gossiping and talking nonsense makes people intoxicated.
For the rest of your life, with people who can talk nonsense
In a talk show, the host interviewed 40-year-old Wang Zhiwen: "At this age, why don't you get married?" ”
Wang Zhiwen's answer was:
"I wanted to find someone who could chat anytime, anywhere, but I never met."
The host was puzzled and felt that this was not a difficult matter at all. Wang Zhiwen explained:
"It's not an easy task, like you think of something in the middle of the night, you call her, she will say, what time is it?" How sleepy, let's talk about it tomorrow, you're not interested in it at once.
Some words, at some point, to some people, if you think about it, you don't want to say it. It's not easy to find someone you want to talk to her and can talk to. ”
When you think about it, it is.
This is an era of speed. Take pictures, to "wait for the right", to send packages, must be "next day delivery", travel, must take the "highway".
Under the instruction of "fast", people are also in a hurry, all expressions go straight to the theme, there are few greetings and greetings of "slow cars and horses, far letters", not to mention the small talk of "even the Korean language is endless".
So, if you meet the person who talks nonsense to us, be sure to cherish it.
In the Spanish movie "The Secret Life of Speech", the hero injures his eye and goes to the hospital for treatment. Here he met a nurse.
In just a few days, they talked about war, loneliness, fear, and spent a difficult time with one heartfelt sentence after another.
Unsurprisingly, they fell in love. So, when the male protagonist's eye disease was cured, the first thing he did was to look for the girl who spoke with him all over the world.
There is a dialogue in the movie "Perfect Stranger":
"How do you know if you're in love with her?"
"If you're going to talk to her for 30 minutes a day, you're in love with her."
"What if it's 60 minutes?"
"That's loving her to death." After that, you don't talk much anymore, which means that you are married. ”
Life is very difficult, and there are very few people who can say "nonsense" anytime, anywhere, at will.
For the rest of your life, find someone who can talk "nonsense" together.
Whether you are complaining, teasing, complaining, TA will listen carefully, with heart, with TA, the air will not be suddenly quiet, and you do not have to choose words.
This heart-to-heart exchange, the collision of soul and soul, has nothing to do with money, fame, or power, but only with your happiness.
There is a saying: "Unsatisfactory things are often eight or nine, but they can be the same as people's words." ”
After walking through thousands of mountains and rivers, you will find that people who can talk freely are the best partners on the road of life.
Author: Kawa Jiang Xiaobai