Dare not say I love you

In fact, I never knew whether my mother loved me or not, and when I was a child, my grandmother always took care of me. My mother married far away to the northeast, and my grandmother hated that my mother was a rural person with no culture. Their relationship was not good, and then on the first day of the first grade of elementary school, my mother took me to move to a new home. We officially separated from my grandmother, and my nightmares began.

Unlike many of the loving mothers in the novels, my mother was hot-tempered and calculating. When I like to buy vegetables, I am crazy to bargain and be cheap, and I can't write my homework and will beat me crazy. It was the kind that pushed me directly to the ground and kicked me directly, so to this day I still have a deep impression of the way she hit me.

My grades got worse and worse when I got to junior high school, and I can say that those years in junior high school were simply my nightmares in life. The homeroom teacher didn't like me either, which led to me being called a parent from time to time. Before that, the way she beat me, I often fantasized that she must not be my mother, and I should have been held wrong. Until that day, the heavy rain directly refreshed my impression of my mother, I don't know why it rained so much that day, and the traffic in Changchun was paralyzed by the heavy rain. Many people blocked the road and could not go home, the students were stuck in the classroom one by one waiting for their parents to come to the school to pick them up, because I did not want to face the face of the class teacher, I quietly slipped to the school gate first to see if I could walk home first. As a result, I was directly photographed by the heavy rain, and when I came back, I was scolded by the class teacher, and after a long time, the familiar figure appeared at the door. My mom came to pick me up in a worn-out purple raincoat and a big umbrella, and I was actually a little happy. There were still classmates in the class who could not go home, because their parents could not come to pick them up, so they had to live in the homeroom teacher's house, and I was glad that I had escaped the disaster. I regretted it again when I left the school, in fact, the school was not far from home, but the road home had been flooded by heavy rain. Before I could think about how my mother came to pick me up, I was interrupted by a sentence my mother said.

She said, "Come up and I'll carry you."

In fact, when I heard the phrase "I carry you", I was in a trance, I always felt that I was a burden to my parents, and I was like a column of shame that they could not shake off. Not good at studying, average looking. He couldn't get anything out of his hands, and he didn't even want to take me with him when he went out to dinner. I was also in a trance on my mother's back that day, and she carried me step by step through the flooded road. I was finally convinced that I was her own child and that she loved me.

Later I thought a lot about it, in fact, we also had some very warm and thrilling memories, sometimes on Fridays I tested a hundred points, my mother would take me to KFC to buy a burger with a coupon, I couldn't get a snack. Mom was reluctant to buy two and would eat the rest of my hamburgers. There was also an improvement in food to buy half a pound of leftover discounted silkworm pupae, and it turned out that I was fine, and my mother was allergic to high protein. An hour late to the hospital, my mother may not be there, and I stayed at a neighbor's house that night. Actually, I didn't sleep because I was so worried that she would never see her again if I closed my eyes.

Now finally I'm grown up and come to work off-site. Probably because of the beauty of distance, we don't have so many fights to argue with, and the relationship is much better. I just kept owing her a word I love you hide in your heart and dare not say it.