1. The local tycoon met a beautiful flight attendant on a business trip, chased for more than a year, finally together, it didn't take long for the flight attendant to get pregnant, the two people were married, when they were born, the flight attendant was tall, the child grew up to be relatively large, and it took a long time to go down, and finally chose a caesarean section, the flight attendant almost lost half a life, and the child was nine pounds and one or two. After the birth of the child, the mother-in-law praised the child as beautiful, like a flight attendant, and had long legs, saying that the daughter-in-law would give birth. The flight attendant did not say a word, and said to the local tycoon at night: "Your mother said in front of me every day that I would give birth, useless, Hugh wants to deceive me into having a second child."
2. A soldier is very good at gambling, and is transferred to another army, and the letter of introduction reads: The soldier's life is a good bet. The new officer asked: How are you betting? What do you usually bet on? Soldier: For example, if you have a birthmark on your right arm, bet $200. The new officer took off his shirt: no birthmark. The new officer took the money and called the former officer: he wouldn't gamble, he just lost me 200. Former Officer: Really? He bet me $5,000 and said he could get you undressed.
3. Sunday did not go to work to play a day of games, hungry to go out to eat, after eating to check out, found that the mobile phone forgot to bring, did not bring cash, is in a hurry, looked up and found that the boss lady is an ex-girlfriend, she also recognized that it was me, I was even more embarrassed, had to say to her, can you please eat this meal, the boss lady was stunned, said ": You are now mixed to this point, this meal is free, thank you for not marrying the grace of the year." I told her, "It's not easy to do business, and I won't come after you." "At this time, I want to cry without tears, I just want to give myself a slap
4 The little uncle has wanted to be the boss since he was a child, and his dream is that he can go to the street to set up a stall in the future. When the mother-in-law knew about it, she scolded him: "In the future, you are not allowed to set up a stall, and you are not out of the house!" If someone asks again, you will say that when you grow up, you will go abroad to study and go to a prestigious university! Later, someone asked the little uncle: "What will you do when you grow up?" The little uncle replied: "Go abroad to study, go to a prestigious university!" The man asked, "What about after graduating from college?" The little uncle gave the man a blank look and said, "Set up a stall!" ”
5. After almost three years with my boyfriend, he finally agreed to come to my house to meet his parents, and he wouldn't have come if he hadn't taken a little measure recently. In the evening, I personally cooked for him, and when I ate, I saw him eat with relish, and I felt very satisfied. My parents are also very satisfied with their boyfriends, my mother said: "Girl, the food you cook is so unpalatable, he can also eat a happy look, I believe that it is true love to you!" "Of course, I won't tell my parents that I've eaten instant noodles for three days in a row!"
6 Recently, a male colleague wore a Patek Philippe watch, which was very cool. I found that there were all kinds of small gears and all kinds of small frames and all kinds of small shapes. Just ask, "How do you look at time with this kind of watch?" He said he didn't understand either, and I said, "Since you don't understand, why are you still wearing it?" The colleague suddenly looked at me strangely: "Now I wear a watch, and I don't want to see the time!" "Me:"
7 Last night the company worked overtime, and the female director had an argument about the work, the noise was not happy, back home has been unhappy, the wife asked me what I did, I said it was okay, she looked at me with a suspicious face. This morning, the female director sent a voice, because of the meal, I opened the voice, only to hear her say: everyone is an adult, last night's incident is over, just as nothing happened, the wife did not listen, a plate of beans was thrown to my face!
8 The university believed in the teacher's foolishness to study medicine, and after graduation, he went to work as a nurse at Union Hospital. My first job I was responsible for caring for a patient with liver problems. One night during a round of the room, I pushed the door in to find the patient secretly drinking, and I quickly snatched the bottle. I said to him with concern: Beware of the liver! The patient shook his head and said to me, "Baby!
9 On the plane, a father and daughter. Father 30 and daughter 6 to 7 years old. The flight attendant was very beautiful, and the father couldn't help but look at her a few more times, and the daughter: "What do you think is interesting to see?" How can you be like this as soon as my mother is gone? The father blushed: "Eat quickly, less nonsense, or I won't take you out later!" The daughter muttered: "They all say that my daughter is my father's lover in the previous life, I don't understand, how did I look at you in my previous life?" ”
10 Next door a new single woman moved, last night she asked me to help her change the fuse, my wife knows about this, let me send a box of oranges, said double eleven bought more, I think my wife's emotional intelligence is very high.
However, within ten minutes, my wife forced me to return the orange again. Take the initiative to send oranges, and then immediately want to come back?
The single lady thought I was insane, handed me the orange, and angrily closed the door.
In the end, the wife personally went out on the horse, carried the orange to the door, and sent the orange back... What is this routine?
11 I took my wife's cosmetics and said: Just such a small bottle, that is 2000 pieces? As he spoke, he opened it and dug it up a little, and smeared it on his face a few times. Wife: What are you doing with my makeup? Me: This cosmetic 2000 pieces, curious, smear a little to try. Wife: This has the function of whitening, so it is almost blushing. Me: What do I want as a big man blush? The wife bang, bang is two fists, the wife said: wipe some blush, I will put it on you.
#年度搞笑名场面 #