1. The local tycoon met a beautiful flight attendant on a business trip, chased for more than a year, finally together, it didn't take long for the flight attendant to get pregnant, the two people were married, when they were born, the flight attendant was tall, the child grew up to be relatively large, and it took a long time to go down, and finally chose to have a caesarean section, the flight attendant almost lost half a life, and the child was nine pounds and one or two. After the birth of the child, the mother-in-law praised the child as beautiful, like a flight attendant, and had big legs, saying that she ate hot pot. Hearing this, my heart was suddenly cold, and I said with tears: Have you forgotten that I have been going to Chengdu for more than a month, and I am no longer in Shanghai.
2. The female supervisor has been born three times in a year, and her reputation is too bad to marry. She didn't want to be an older leftover girl, so she posted 100,000 yuan to marry me. She also can't cook after marriage, I cook at home, once I was working overtime at the company, she fried a dish at home. When she got home, she said: I just made scrambled eggs with tomatoes, although I fried the tomatoes a little, but I actually made a little taste of braised chicken nuggets! Me: How could it be that you shouldn't be fooled. Her: You smell it, it's true, you certainly can't do it. Me: That's the stupid one who smells of cooking next door! goods!?
3. My daughter-in-law has a sister, my sister-in-law. No, the sister-in-law was pregnant, and the brother-in-law deliberately asked: Whose child is it? The sister-in-law hesitated and said: Who else can it be if it is not yours? Later, my brother-in-law asked me if she had hesitated for a moment before answering me. I scratched my head and said: Maybe the sister-in-law is too happy, and if you suddenly ask this, you will definitely be a little flustered. The brother-in-law said: What you said seems to make sense!
4. On this day, I got together with my colleagues in the company, so I passed the access control point again, and I was ready for the "pig head array", and I should be able to deal with the past. Sure enough, my wife counted down without a nose and no face, I had a principle, gave her an ear to listen, and I didn't speak... Half an hour later, the wife's "stand-up" was over. She drank a large glass of water and roared: Old Nine, the next time you dare not go home, I will give you some color to see. The brother-in-law next to him fanned the flames: Sister, what color is my brother? I......
5. Confess to the girl, I sent her a 520, she returned me a 110. I thought about it for half a day and didn't come up with the harmonic sound that this number represented, and I couldn't help but ask what it meant, and the girl said, "I mean, if you harass me again, I'll call the police!" ”。
6. Eat with your husband and meet his ex-girlfriend, who is very tall! After returning home, I teased my husband: "Did you give up such a Bai Fumei and finally marry me because I was more attractive than her?" He replied, "You think too much because beautiful women are not suitable for wives, that's why I married you!" "I...
7. The boyfriend who has been in the online relationship for three years turned out to be a woman, and we only found out when we went to the hotel together. I was mad and just blacked her out. My girlfriend came to my house to comfort me, and I wrapped her up and cried all night. When I was silent, my girlfriend suddenly kept staring me in the eye. I blushed and asked, "What's wrong?" The girlfriend said: "What brand of mascara do you use, cry like this and don't fall off." ”
8. The wife is bored on vacation, flipping through the old books on the shelves, and suddenly a photo falls out of a book. Picked it up and looked at a picture of a beautiful woman, and asked me for a suspicious look. I took a look at it and said calmly, "Oh, this is my high school classmate, we used to be..." Before I finished speaking, my wife punched and kicked, and half a minute later, I lay on the couch and spat out two words "same table"!
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