When life is a hoax, then no matter how hard you fight, it is like a "fool" fanatical solo dance, even if you struggle, even if you roar, it is only a silent confrontation of the trapped beast to this black and white world.
"I came to this day, tried a road to go black, and also took all the detours that should be taken, hitting the south wall, I know that I have turned back," Qin Hao said lightly.
For this 43-year-old man, the first half of his life in his own performance world became crazy, devoted himself to literary and artistic films, and was once named the highest title of "Uncrowned Film Emperor", both in terms of works and acting skills, but always unknown.
In 2020, because of the popularity of the family suspense drama "The Hidden Corner", Qin Hao quickly went out of the circle, and he turned popular again, and he was not confused.
"Do I still have a chance"? The lines in the play are also extra-drama questions, and Qin Hao chooses to reconcile with himself and let go of the obsession in his heart.
This time, he saw the bigger world.
First, the northeast "stunned head blue" growth record
In 1978, Qin Hao was born in a wealthy family in Shenyang, northeast China, his father was a businessman, his mother had been a soldier, and later retired as a civil servant.
For this single seedling in the family, his parents are also enlightened, there are no too many requirements for him, nor are they very doting, and his mother Zhang Hong plans his future early.
All the way to learn, safe and stable to enter a good high school, and then go to New Zealand's Auckland Business School to study, gilded back, inherit the family business, a lifetime of worry-free.
In his childhood, Qin Hao was raised on the warm kang of his grandmother's house, passing through the blacksmith shop in the tun, bypassing the chimney house, and plunging into the cornfield, a group of bare-ass children appeared in the straw pile, laughing stubble after stubble.
And this black land also gave this simplicity and generous gift to the children.
When he was 9 years old, Qin Hao took the pocket money given by his grandmother and bought two boxes of cassettes, one was Zhang Guorong's "Refuse to Play Again", and the other was Yi Nengjing's "The Last Day of 19 Years Old".
"The sunshine of the last day of nineteen seems to have been taken away..." A sweet female voice floated out of the radio, but covered with a faint layer of sadness and sadness.
Qin Hao leaned on the head of the bed, crossed Erlang's legs, humming wildly, and the posters of the idol Yi Nengjing were plastered all over the wall, and the youth and beauty were like summer flowers.
At that time, 20-year-old Yi Nengjing, who had been debuting for 3 years, and her "Flying Eagle Three Sisters" combination with Qiu Haizheng and Fang Wenlin was popular all over Taiwan, however, she was not happy at all.
As the seventh girl in the family, she was born with her father's disgust, and when her father abandoned the family in order to give birth to a son, her childhood ended.
In order to support this scarred family, at the age of 16, she went out of the entertainment industry to work hard, forced to earn money to support her family, until the age of 21, she paid off the huge debt owed by the family.
Compared with Yi Nengjing, who grew up in a broken family, Young Master Qin's growth path was smooth and free.
He has a northeastern axis in his bones, a "world-weary face", as if he is indifferent to anything, and he is arranged in the back row of the classroom, and he sleeps with his head covered as soon as he goes to class.
In the second year of high school, Qin Hao, who hanged Lang Dang all day, was like a child abandoned by youth, without the brightness and directness of a teenager, in addition to listening to the cassette tape, he did not know what he really wanted.
Until the TV series "Beijingers in New York" was screened, Qin Hao was deeply attracted, and Wang Qiming, played by Jiang Wen, was humorous and dashing, and the smell of life was extremely strong.
"This person doesn't look good, but how can he act so well?" wondered Qin Hao. At this time, a bold idea came out, he wanted to be an actor like Jiang Wen.
After that, he decided to enter the Central Academy of Drama, which is Jiang Wen's alma mater. When the parents learned of their son's idea, they strongly opposed it, and the eighteen generations of people in the family who had not been in the show business circle just wanted to help him and had no way out.
The stubborn Qin Hao, like a demon, did not listen to persuasion, resolutely switched from science to liberal arts, and buried his head in preparation for the art examination.
At the scene of the three tests of Chinese opera, some people were singing, some people were dancing, and some people were full of drama, facing excellent art candidates from all over the country, Qin Hao, who had no talent, was completely instigated, spread on a chair, and thought about how to deal with it later.
"Report teacher, exam number 543, my name is Liu Ye", a boy with an inch head, tucked the sea soul shirt on his body into the military pants, speaking a Northeastern dialect, and shyly introduced himself.
"What will you do?" The teacher asked
"Nothing, I'll play basketball!" Silly, he opened a pair of large transparent eyes and answered innocently.
......
Listening to the movements inside, Qin Hao suddenly relaxed his heart, this big brother and himself half a pound eight two, he will not do anything, he can also roar two throat small songs, ok is almost the same.
It is also good luck, the improvisational performance link, a blank piece of paper Qin Hao, was assigned to Yuan Quan, who graduated from the 8-year drama school, as a partner, she flexibly saved the scene, threw baggage to Qin Hao, the two sang a harmony, but let the performance smooth and natural.
In the end, all three were successfully admitted to the Chinese opera, and they were assigned to the famous 96-star class, and became classmates with Zhang Ziyi, Qin Hailu, Zeng Li and so on.
Second, the life of a Chinese opera bully
"The thing I want to wait for is what I need to insist on, this is my pursuit", from the beginning of entering the Chinese opera, Qin Hao was different, he set standards for himself, and wedged this obsession into his heart, deeper and deeper, until it became a kind of nature.
Chang Li, the class teacher, has always been known as a "strict teacher", and her requirements for students are very strict, and they are not allowed to take over the drama at will.
"Actors should not mess with the drama, they should cherish their feathers, unless they cooperate with big directors such as Zhang Yimou, Chen Kaige, and SpielBerg," Chang Li said in the first class.
Qin Hao, who was sitting in the audience, looked at the teacher with torch-like eyes, and he was convinced of this sentence. 4 years of college life, he has to live seriously, after filming there is time.
After that, the male students in the class cut their ambitions for this purpose, and more than a dozen people shaved their heads, determined not to take the role, and determined to complete their homework well.
However, the ideal is very full, the reality is very bone. Just freshman year, because of the final exam sketch homework, all the students fell into anxiety.
Hu Jing: "I am really depressed and regret choosing the path of acting."
Liu Ye: "I really don't want to recruit, I want to cry, call my father and beg him to let me quit school and go back to Changchun to remember."
Zhang Ziyi, who is also a difficult household in professional classes, often plays with Liu Ye, and is affected by his emotions, and has also thought about dropping out of school, and even dreams of praying that God will give her a sketch manuscript.
Here, Qin Hao enjoyed the process of creation very much, not only had many ideas, but also helped other students to rehearse plays, and 6 of the 8 works handed in were from his hands, and he was once named "Qin Yimou" by his classmates.
In his sophomore year, Liu Ye conquered director Huo Jianqi with his arrogant skills on the basketball court, playing the simple and innocent mountain village boy full of local atmosphere in the movie "That Mountain Man That Dog".
Because the "centennial school flower" Zeng Li is not in the dormitory, Zhang Ziyi picked up and leaked "My Father and Mother", and the moment she was taken away by Zhang Yimou, she had already embarked on the road of superstardom.
At this moment, Qin Hao, no envy, no discouragement, but very indifferent, obediently listen to the teacher's words, honest class, a day without falling out of the drama, when he graduated, he was the male protagonist of three big plays.
At that time, Liu Ye won the Golden Horse Film Emperor through "Lan Yu", Zhang Ziyi went international with "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", Qin Hailu won the Golden Horse Film through "Durian Fluttering", and Yuan Quan won the Golden Rooster Award for Best Supporting Actress for "Rhapsody of Spring".
And "excellent student" Qin Hao is nothing, he is still waiting, stubbornly waiting for the male number one in the good works of the big director, for this graduation for 5 years, he pushed away 12 plays, one of which was the explosive "Step by Step", until finally he was mistaken for no longer filming.
"I don't understand why I worked so hard in school, but why didn't I succeed? Am I the only one who thinks I'm a good actor? "It was the first time he questioned himself.
Depressed all day, he has gradually lost his passion for acting, in order to numb himself, he takes the money sent by his parents, clubbing and playing games all day, or wandering in Beijing nightclubs every night, drunk and dreaming.
The mother heard Qin Hao's discouragement on the phone, but she clearly knew how much her son loved acting.
Therefore, she advised: "You can't always wait for the good script of the big director to come to you, success is accumulated little by little, you don't go out, don't want to open yourself, you will always miss the opportunity."
His mother's words were like a lifeline thrown to the surface of the water, so that Qin Hao, who was about to drown and suffocate, had breathing space and the desire to live.
Third, the end of the road for the male god of literature and art
"After 500 years, no one remembers the name of today's so-called richest man, but today's good poem and a good movie can be passed down for a long time, and I hope that I can act in some movies that leave something for future generations," Qin Hao said with great certainty.
At dusk, the neon is beginning to rise, and the outside of Sanlitun is full of dazzling sports cars, and men and women are clustered together, crooked and obliquely poured into the drunken spring wind, which is very lively.
At night, it is a happy field for a group of frustrated and lonely people, Qin Hao carries a satchel, lights a cigarette for himself, and quickly burrows into the lights and wine, and the harsh drums and the sound of playing saucers make people forget the pain of reality.
He touched a glass of foreign wine, and vaguely saw Wang Xiaoshuai at the opposite table, so he shook his head and greeted him, "Hi, hello!" I've seen your movie and loved it! He said that he would turn his face and disappear into the crowd.
At this time, Wang Xiaoshuai was preparing to shoot the movie "Qinghong", and the male protagonist had not been a suitable candidate, and the fluctuating and cynical man in front of him actually made him want to explore it.
After many inquiries, he finally found this actor named "Qin Hao", after the book was handed over, the two hit it off, so Qin Hao and 19-year-old Gao Yuanyuan cooperated in the movie "Qinghong".
In the play, Li Jun, a small-town young man who is angry, in order to pursue the girl he likes, dances a disco in the Di Bar, the action expression is extremely sexy, and the body emits charming hormones.
For this scene, Qin Hao also specially went to learn the disco of the 80s, thinking of the way his uncle shook his head when he was a child, he choreographed this paragraph.
This "action scene" has become a classic of the whole play, and has even been evaluated by the French media as comparable to the famous "scissor dance" segment in "Pulp Fiction".
With the film "Qinghong", Qin Hao was invited to participate in the Cannes Film Festival, which was his first time on the international red carpet. In order not to lose face, he also specially asked his old classmate Zhang Ziyi for advice, and Zhang Ziyi also generously gave him a red carpet.
On this trip to Cannes, Qin Hao was completely shocked, he did not know that there would be such a place in the world that respected movies and actors, and he was fascinated by this respect.
"I have a stubbornness in my bones that doesn't accept defeat, and it is difficult to hear that it may be a kind of vanity lurking, but I think that vanity has been broken for me," Qin Hao said excitedly.
Since then, Qin Hao has decided to only make films that can go to Cannes, and only be the kind of actor he has in mind.
In 2008, he met Lou Ye, a director who was banned from making movies, an equally maverick, who secretly filmed "Spring Breeze Drunken Night" with DV.
Unable to resist the temptation of a good script, Qin Hao risked the possibility of ending his acting career and danced on the cliff with Lou Ye, and this film about gay themes sent Qin Hao to the red carpet in Cannes and was nominated for best actor.
At this time, Qin Hao became Lou Ye's royal male protagonist and embarked on the road of literary and art films.
In 2010, in the movie "Rizhao Chongqing", Qin Hao played a nightclub dancer "Haozi".
In 2012, in the feature film "Mystery of the Floating City", Qin Hao played the Sven scum "Qiao Yongzhao" into three points, this scumbag who wandered between the small four and the five, was very popular with girls, and was even called "sexy garbage" by fans.
After that, the movies "Intruder" and "Tuina" have repeatedly created the highest reputation of literary and art films, and in 11 years, Qin Hao has been shortlisted for Cannes 4 times, Berlin 2 times, and Venice once, which is a well-deserved "uncrowned king" in the industry.
However, the work has also gone, the red carpet has gone, and the reputation has also been obtained, but he is still the actor who does not know who it is.
"I've persevered for so many years, what I've gotten, what I've seen, and what I feel can keep me going is getting less and less, less and less."
On the lively carnival night, Qin Hao was still the forgotten loser.
Fourth, walk down the altar barefoot
Qin Hao, 32, insisted on shooting literary and art films for 6 years, however, he found that he could not support himself at all, and he had to rely on the support of his family to barely survive.
For such a niche literary and artistic film, although it is possible to shout and win awards, there is no audience and market, and the income of actors is very meager.
Faced with the test of survival, he chose to sign the "godmother of the agent" Wang Jinghua and became his artist. Wang Jinghua knew that Qin Hao would be popular sooner or later, so he was not in a hurry to make money from him, but helped him pull various scripts to increase his exposure.
Just signed a year, Qin Hao made 6 films in a row and made a lot of money, but there was no good work that satisfied him, and even he didn't bother to watch it.
"When did I know I had to stop?" When someone came to me to play the secretary of the provincial party committee. Qin Hao said that this time, he ended his cooperation with Wang Jinghua.
In 2017, after waiting silently for 17 years, he finally got the favor of the director Chen Kaige, playing Jin Wuwei Chen Yunqiao in the movie "The Legend of the Demon Cat".
As the number one clue character in the demon cat case, Chen Yunqiao, played by Qin Hao, has a very rich personality level, sometimes obedient and aggressive, sometimes greasy and wanton, and every frame is the culmination of the performance.
The first cooperation with Chen Kaige, Qin Hao bluntly said that it was a kind of enjoyment, and every day was very enjoyable.
On the set of "The Legend of the Demon Cat", Han Sanping was looking for Qin Hao wearing a red robe everywhere, and he couldn't wait to hand Qin Hao the book of the web drama "Undocumented Crime" and begged him to watch it.
After the night play back to the hotel, dragging a tired Qin Hao, he remembered the script, so he casually opened it to see, did not expect this glance, actually fell into it, until the next day dawn, and even unconsciously began to conceive the way the characters were expressed.
However, he is very entangled, not only does not want to give up such a good script, but also worried that film actors to shoot online dramas, this kind of secondary dimensionality reduction, will affect his career.
So, he sent this confusion to the circle of friends, and his friend Zhou Xun left a message to: Go shoot, I am filming "Ruyi Chuan", now where there is a good movie script, sent to the hand of a more than a fool, how to act ah!
With the encouragement of Zhou Xun, Qin Hao, if he had divine help, no longer twisted and tangled, he took over the "Undocumented Crime", once this drama was broadcast, it received a high rating of 8.1 points from Douban, and it became the hot drama of the year.
Since then, Qin Hao no longer shrinks in his own shell, he opens himself all and accepts all good works, regardless of form.
"I feel like I'm out of a certain narrowness in acting... Now throw me wherever I can grow. ”
After that, Qin Hao has achieved super high quality and word-of-mouth in several successive works such as "Clouds Made of Rain in the Wind", "Sand Sea", "Hello, Zhihua" and so on.
In 2020, the family suspense network drama "The Hidden Corner", Qin Hao played by Sven killer Zhang Dongsheng, a bad guy deformed in the cracks, was interpreted by him to the fullest, and even once with the domestic violence man Feng Yuanzheng in "Don't Talk to Strangers", he was regarded as the shadow of the people of the whole country.
After this drama, Qin Hao completely became popular, and his "climbing terrier" was even more out of the circle, this year he was 42 years old.
From the pasty coffee to the middle-aged top stream, Qin Hao has walked for 20 years, and in the face of all this, he is very calm and very grateful that he can still have drama.
This time, he said he was free, because there would be no more movies where he could smash himself with money.
Fifth, just the right age to meet the best of you
"I'm lucky to marry her, really, she made my world a lot bigger," Qin Hao said emotionally in the face of his lover Yi Nengjing.
In life, Qin Hao is a very egotistical person, he rarely pays attention to the gossip and gossip in the entertainment industry, and seems to live forever in the marginal world.
But Yi Nengjing is a woman with rich experience, who has been working hard in the circle during the flower season, has had enough of human warmth, and is accustomed to seeing the level of fame and fortune, and now she is sober and self-aware.
In 2013, at a fashion event scene, Yi Nengjing was blocked on the red carpet by the media's long guns and short cannons, and although she was very tired, she still had to squeeze out a smile to cope, and she wanted to leave but could not move.
Qin Hao, who was hiding in the corner of the wall and smoking a cigarette, witnessed all this, and looked at the helpless and weak appearance of the frightened fawn woman, and actually gave birth to a heroic spirit.
He extinguished his cigarette, rushed into the crowd, blocked the camera, said "Thank you, today's interview is over", and pulled Yi Nengjing out of the way.
After the rescue, Qin Hao found that he was actually a childhood idol, and in addition to being excited, the two chatted happily, movies, music, dramas... Talk about everything.
"Xiao Jing, can you leave a contact information?" Qin Hao boldly probed, and at this time, there was a burning ambiguous feeling that penetrated into the hearts of the two of them.
This man who "has a warm man's heart, but has a rogue face" has touched her frozen heart for 5 years, she is both excited and afraid, the difference in age of 10 years, and the indelible painful past, are all obstacles between them.
Yi Nengjing, 45 years old, has long passed the age of desperation, she knows what she wants, so she confessed all her past to Qin Hao, and rejected him, the moment she hung up the phone, she cried bitterly.
Qin Hao, who had a dead face, still made an appointment with Yi Nengjing for dinner the next day, and during the meal, he said slowly: "I have talked about love many times, some are young, some look suitable, but in the end it is not OK, I also know what kind of woman I want."
In the second month of getting along, Qin Hao took Yi Nengjing back to his hometown in Shenyang to meet his parents. From the first time, the mother liked Yi Nengjing very much, took her hand and said that it was very reassuring to hand over her son to her, hoping that they would trust each other and live a good life.
In 2014, Qin Hao proposed to Yi Nengjing romantically, and made a deep promise: "After we get married, there will never be a little three, and if there is a little three, I will kill myself."
Standing in the sea of flowers, Yi Nengjing laughed and cried, and the sweet and happy look was enviable.
On March 22, 2015, the two had a grand wedding in Phuket.
After marriage, Yi Nengjing became a happy little wife, her husband loved, her in-laws loved her, and her mother-in-law treated her like a daughter, standing in her position, protecting her and following her.
This woman, who had been hurt by her family and feelings, felt the warmth of home for the first time and finally found her own habitat.
"I love Mr. Qin very much, I hope he has a child", in order to let Qin Hao have her own child, she tried various ways to create a human being, and finally at the age of 47, she became a mother again.
During the pregnancy, Qin Hao was filming in the group, Yi Nengjing could only wait for labor alone in Los Angeles, and she suffered a lot of pain due to her advanced age and pregnancy reaction.
At the most helpless time, Zhang Ziyi sent a lot of help to Yi Nengjing, when she started work in the United States, she often sent voices to care about Yi Nengjing's physical condition, and gave a lot of advice, and also let her aunt personally go to stew soup to take care of, help find a hospital to give birth, which made Yi Nengjing very moved.
The birth of his daughter "Millet Grain" made qin hao, a straight man of steel, softened a lot, and he even quit smoking for his child for more than 20 years, and he also began to change himself, becoming no longer paranoid and self-absorbed, and embracing the world more.
Today, he quietly enjoys being a husband and a father, taking care of his daughters, loving his wife, filial piety to his parents, and silently carrying a piece of heaven for them.
For him now, the age of not being confused is already the best age, he finally stopped acting, he just lived in simplicity.