The picture shows Juan
"The letters I send you always have to be sent to the post office, and I don't like to put them in the green mailbox on the side of the street, and I always suspect that it will be slower there." This widely circulated love story comes from Mr. Lu Xun's "Book of Two Places", which contains the correspondence between Lu Xun and his lover Xu Guangping, which can be said to be the love testimony of Lu Xun and Xu Guangping.
When Lu Xun and Xu Guangping are mentioned, most people will think of words such as love than Jin Jian, deep affection between the two, and match made in heaven.
In 1923, Lu Xun and Xu Guangping met at Beijing Women's Normal University. At that time, Lu Xun was invited to give a lecture at Beiping Women's Normal University, and in this way, he became a teacher for Xu Guangping, a sophomore student, and eventually came together.
Lu Xun and Xu Guangping's acquaintance and love is undoubtedly an enviable fairy tale, but reality will never be as perfect as a fairy tale. Long before Lu Xun and Xu Guangping met, he already had a wife.
The picture shows Lu Xun
Lu Xun's "wife" was named Zhu An, and she was the marriage partner arranged by Lu Xun's family. The combination of Lu Xun and Zhu An is actually an arranged marriage that has been spurned and criticized by countless people.
Zhu An was born in June 1878 and, like Lu Xun, was a native of Shaoxing, Zhejiang. Her family's ancestors had served as officials of the ZhiXian class, and her family was quite well-off.
Although he did not go to school, he had a gentle personality and was dignified and virtuous. According to the past vision, she is a standard "good wife and good mother" type of woman. Lu Xun's mother, Lu Rui, wanted this woman to be the wife of her eldest son.
The Zhou and Zhu families quickly settled on this marriage, agreeing that when Lu Xun returned from his studies in Nanjing, the two would be married.
The picture shows Lu Xun and Xu Guangping and their son
But as a "latecomer", we know that after Lu Xun graduated from Nanjing, he went to Japan to study. This marriage was also temporarily shelved with Lu Xun's study abroad.
Lu Xun, who was studying in Japan, quickly accepted the influence of new ideas. He could not go against his heart and accept this feudal arranged marriage. In order not to delay Juan's other marriage, he wrote a letter to his mother Lu Rui in time, persuading the family to refuse the marriage.
Lu Rui quickly wrote back, saying that the marriage was requested by herself, how could she push it away? What's more, once the marriage is repentant, where should the faces of the Zhou family and the Zhu family go? And in those days, if a woman was repented by her husband's family, the woman was basically sentenced to death. No matter what her nature is, whether she looks good or bad, it will be difficult to marry again in the future.
The picture shows Lu Xun and Zhu An
His mother did not agree, and Lu Xun was a great filial piety, and he could only agree to the marriage in the end. But before accepting this marriage, he put forward two conditions for the Zhu family: one was to let Juan "let go", and the other was to let her "go to school".
However, he himself said, "It is better to transform yourself than to forbid others." ”
The Zhu family, which had long been bound by feudal etiquette, naturally disagreed with his proposal. The "three-inch golden lotus" is a symbol of women's beauty, "a woman's talentlessness is morality", and it also requires that women cannot enter the school. In their view, Lu Xun's proposal is undoubtedly absurd and contrary to common ethics.
Seeing that the Zhu family did not agree, Lu Xun had no other choice but to stay in Japan, and wanted to use this way to make the Zhu family give up their marriage contract with themselves.
In this way, when Lu Xun studied in Japan for four years, the time came to 1906. Lu Xun was 25 years old and Juan was already 28 years old.
Shaoxing has a rule, "the adopted daughter is only twenty-six", seeing that the daughter is already 28 years old, Lu Xun has been delayed in returning to China, and the Zhu family has begun to be anxious. At this time, Lu Rui could not sit still, so he wrote a letter to Lu Xun, lying to him that he was seriously ill and asking him to return to China quickly.
Receiving a letter from his mother, Lu Xun was very worried and quickly returned to China. When he arrived home, he learned that his mother had pretended to be ill and tricked him into coming back to get married. There was no way, Lu Xun could only choose to marry this Zhu girl he had never met.
On the wedding day, Lu Xun wore a large red hat with a long fake braid dragged inside. He stood in front of the palanquin to pick up the bride, and Juan, dressed in traditional wedding dress, got down from the palanquin.
Juan knew that her husband did not want to wrap her feet, and in order not to be disgusted, she also deliberately wore large shoes, but because the shoes did not fit, the shoes fell off the feet when she got out of the flower car. Her little "three-inch golden lotus" was still seen by Lu Xun.
"Mr. Lu Xun got married upstairs, and after one night, Mr. Lu Xun slept in the study the next night. The indigo of the print stained Mr. Lu Xun's face blue, and he was very unhappy. Wang He, a servant of the Zhou family, said so.
The print was dyed blue by indigo, which was undoubtedly caused by Lu Xun burying his face in the quilt and crying.
Just imagine, a person who has accepted the new way of thinking and has been anti-feudal all his life, but has not escaped the feudal arranged marriage, Mr. Lu Xun's heart, how unwilling and painful it should be!
However, was Lu Xun alone in pain? Obviously not.
On the wedding night, the candles on the table are still flickering lights, and the wall is also pasted with a large "joy" word, which should be the warmest and sweetest time in life, but only the bride is alone in the empty room. At this time, how unprepared and sad should Juan be?
But in those days, would Juan blame her husband? She will not, she will only be confused, inferior, think that it is because she is not good enough, she can not get the love of her husband.
Feudal marriage is like a cage, Lu Xun can't let himself be imprisoned like this, he wants to escape, he has to resist.
Only three or four days after marriage, Lu Xun returned to Japan and continued his studies. But Zhu An, who was influenced by the thoughts of the Three Principles and Five Constants and the Three Principles and Four Virtues since childhood, she could not think of escaping, and she had nowhere to go. The only thing she could do was to guard the family she had married into and take good care of her mother-in-law.
In this way, Juan, who had been waiting for marriage and love for seven years, could only watch Lu Xun leave, and could not even say a word of retention.
"Get up early, go out of the boudoir, cook tea soup, respect your parents, freshen up, love to be clean, learn needlework, don't be lazy, your parents scold, Don't make a sound..." This is the "Daughter's Sutra" that Juan learned from childhood, and she did it according to the book.
After Lu Xun left, she scrupulously adhered to her duties as a wife, taking care of and providing for her mother-in-law with her heart. Laundry and cooking every day, busy outside, in the day after day of boredom, waiting for their husbands.
In 1909, Lu Xun finally returned from Japan.
Juan finally saw a glimmer of hope in the decade-long wait, thinking that this time she could live a peaceful life with her husband and godson. But after Lu Xun returned to China, he did not run around as she expected. Even at night, he would pick up a lamp to copy ancient books, and the time spent with her was very short, let alone close like an ordinary couple.
In this way, from Shaoxing to Beijing, although Zhu An has always followed Lu Xun's side, the two have never been close. Like strangers in the name of husband and wife, although they live under the same roof, they have little communication at all.
Lu Rui was too late to hold his grandson, so he went to ask Juan why. Juan had no choice but to answer honestly that it was Lu Xun who was not close to her.
Juan and Lu rui
In Lu Rui's view, this is very unreasonable, she thinks Juan is a good daughter-in-law. So he asked Lu Xun privately, "What is so bad about Juan?" Why don't you want to be close to her? ”
In the face of his mother's inquiry, Lu Xun replied: "It is not that it is not bad, but that I can't talk to her." Talking to her is tasteless, and sometimes you have to be clever, it is better not to talk. ”
Why did Lu Xun say that Juan was "self-clever"? It is necessary to mention such a thing here.
One day, Lu Xun was in a very good mood, so he talked to Juan a few more words, talked to her about a Japanese thing, and said that it was delicious.
When Juan heard this, he said, "Yes, yes, I have eaten too." ”
But in fact, there was no such thing in China at that time, how could Juan eat it?
She replied in this way, no wonder Lu Xun said that she was "making herself clever."
The picture shows Lu Xun's former residence in Shanghai
But Juan knew that Lu Xun didn't like her, and she didn't know how long to wait for such an ordinary conversation.
Didn't she understand that her "little cleverness" would be recognized by Lu Xun? But she said it anyway. For what? Isn't it just to be able to talk to him a few more words and close the distance between husband and wife? Moreover, she always puts her husband and mother-in-law first, and what good things are she willing to eat?
At the same time as Brick Tahu, Lu Xun had a serious illness. At that time, he had just fallen out with his younger brother Zhou Zuoren, and almost left all his wealth to his younger brother, and the economy was not very rich. But Juan didn't complain a little, so he stepped on the little foot that was disgusted by Lu Xun, and went from place to place to grab medicine for him and ask a doctor, taking care of him without any clothes.
The picture shows the former residence of Lu Xun Badaowan
"Before cooking porridge every time, the master mother first crushed the rice and burned it into an easily digestible porridge paste, and asked the eldest sister to go to famous food stores such as Daoxiang Village to buy bad chicken, cooked ham, meat floss and other dishes that Mr. Big usually likes to eat, and give Mr. Big porridge to make it appetizing. She herself doesn't eat these good dishes. Lu Xun's neighbor at the time, Yu Fang, once said that the "master mother" here refers to Juan.
Silently being kind to him and leaving him all the good things, Juan did just that to the husband who never liked him. She didn't know much, she could only think in her own way, thinking that as long as she was always good to him, one day, Lu Xun would perceive her goodness.
Like the sunflower in the field, silently facing the sun, offering it a full melon seed, hoping to get its response, but not considering what the sun really likes, maybe it prefers the lotus flower that comes out of the mud and does not stain, or the proud cold winter, indomitable plum.
The picture shows Juan and her mother's family
In 1923, Xu Guangping appeared. Xu Guangping is open and independent, she dares to resist and yearns for freedom. She is like a lotus flower that is clean and self-righteous, and also like a plum who is not afraid of the cold.
Xu Guangping, like Lu Xun's other female students, all of them cut their short hair and wore school uniforms and short shirts, full of vitality, daring to think and dare to speak. In front of these cheerful and youthful schoolgirls, Juan was like a lifeless old object.
She has also tried to change herself. In the next yard lived a pair of sisters of the Yu family, who often came to Lu Xun to discuss academic issues, and Juan could not understand it, so she could only do some work of serving tea and water.
She had begged her sisters to teach her gymnastics, hoping that she could become more energetic, but some of the movements she felt were too "indecent", and she always tied her hands and feet when doing it, which looked very discordant. Seeing that they had short hair that represented "new ideas", she thought about cutting their hair short, but "the skin of the body is affected by the parents", and she felt that cutting her hair was not appropriate.
In short, she made many attempts, but Lu Xun still got farther and farther away from her, and eventually left Beijing with Xu Guangping and went to live in other places.
The picture shows the former residence of Lu Xunxi Sanjo
After Lu Xun left, Lu Rui was left to Zhu An alone to take care of. He rarely returned, even if he came back once in a while, but he only hurried to see his mother, and Juan, who took care of his mother, did not even want to say anything.
Guarding the home for a husband who does not love him at all, and having to take care of his mother hard, this kind of life is undoubtedly very difficult and boring, but Juan actually has two opportunities to get away from this difficulty and boredom and return to shaoxing to spend his old age.
The first time was from Shaoxing to Beijing.
Lu Xun bought a yard in Badaowan, Beijing, and wanted to bring the family to live in Beijing. At that time, Juan was already in his forties, and even if he went to Beijing with Lu Xun, his life would not change. And with this departure, she will most likely never be able to return to her hometown.
She herself understood, and before leaving, she took photos with her mother's family. But in her heart, her husband is her heaven, even if she is very reluctant to her mother's family, she still chooses to leave with Lu Xun.
The picture shows Xu Guangping and his son
The second time was before they moved to Brick Tower Alley.
At that time, Lu Xun had talked to her and let her make a choice for herself. She can choose to stay in Badaowan or return to her hometown in Shaoxing. If she is willing to return to Shaoxing, she will send money every month to support her life.
Lu Xun did not give her the option to go with him, but obviously told her not to follow her anymore.
Didn't she understand Lu Xun's meaning? However, in her opinion, the daughter who has already married cannot return to her mother's family. Since she was married to Lu Xun, she was willing to follow Lu Xun for the rest of her life. People who are born to be the Zhou family, and die to be ghosts of the Zhou family. This is also the truth that her parents have always taught her.
Juan is pictured on the left
So, for the sake of her husband, she went to a foreign country.
Now, Lu Xun has his own lover and pursues his ideals with his lover. Instead, Juan was left in Beijing to take care of her elderly mother-in-law all day long.
In 1936, Lu Xun died in Shanghai. The news soon reached Juan. As a wife, her first instinct was to go to Shanghai to help her husband take care of the aftermath. However, if she went to Shanghai, what would happen to her elderly and frail mother-in-law?
Since she married into the Zhou family, it has been thirty years now, long-term companionship and care, so that her relationship with her mother-in-law has long been as close as mother and daughter, how can she rest assured that she left her mother-in-law and left?
Thinking about it, Juan finally chose to stay in Beijing to receive his relatives and friends who came to mourn For Lu Xun.
For many more years, Juan lived with her mother-in-law in Xisanjo, Beijing. After losing her husband, she took care of her mother-in-law even more wholeheartedly until Lu Rui died.
From marrying into the Zhou family to the death of her mother-in-law, Juan was almost alone, walking through this long 37 years.
In these more than thirty years, she took care of her mother-in-law alone, and completed lu Xun's filial piety. Whether she has regretted and complained, whether she has lamented the unfairness of fate, these are not known. But what we do is that she did all these things that should have been done by her husband without complaint.
The picture shows Lu Mu
After the death of her mother-in-law, Juan was left to live alone in Nishisanjo. She did not follow her mother-in-law's instructions and accepted the living expenses given by Zhou Zuoren.
Lu Xun was at odds with Zhou Zuoren before he died, so how could she not consider Lu Xun and accept Zhou Zuoren's money? Therefore, she could only rely on the help of Lu Xun's friends to live, and her life was very poor.
The picture shows Zhou Zuoren
During the last period of his life, Juan had one of his greatest wishes— to be buried with Lu Xun. Although Lu Xun did not like her, it was her husband who had worshipped the church, and in the heart of a feudal woman, she must be with her husband after death.
To this end, she also entrusted someone to write a letter to Xu Guangping, hoping that she could help her fulfill this wish, but Mr. Lu Xun was no longer just her husband, how could he be buried with her? Xu Guangping could only politely refuse her.
On June 29, 1947, at the age of 69, Juan completed her lonely life.
The picture shows Lu Xun, Xu Guangping and his son
She was buried alone in a cemetery outside Xizhimen, and her wish to be buried with Lu Xun was not realized in the end. Later, her grave was destroyed and razed to the ground, and it is still unknown where her soul returned.
When born, he could not be close to his husband, and even after death, he could not be buried with him. Zhu An's life is undoubtedly lonely and sad, she calls herself a "relic" of Lu Xun, but Lu Xun said that she is only a "gift" given to her by her mother.
Although she has never been recognized by Lu Xun, but stubbornly guards the name of "wife", Zhu An is undoubtedly feudal and ignorant, but as a daughter-in-law and wife, she is worthy of the Zhou family and worthy of Lu Xun.
The picture shows the tomb of Lu Xun