1. "The brothers were beaten up, and after a few days, the beater's family came over to apologize, carrying fruit and a few Wang Ba." Come in and say: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, whatever. Dude says:

1. "The brothers were beaten up, and after a few days, the beater's family came over to apologize, carrying fruit and a few Wang Ba." Come in and say: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, whatever. Dude said: It's all right, come on, and bring all the family? As a result, I lay down for two more days. “

2. "Wife, can you add a hundred dollars to this month's pocket money?" Because it's hot, drinks. "Nothing!" The next day, "Wife, can you add a hundred dollars to this month's pocket money?" "Nothing!" On the third day, "Wife, can you add a hundred dollars to this month's pocket money?" "Nothing! Kneel again to durian! "On the fourth day," "Wife, do you have durian at home?" "Nothing!" "So wife, can you add a hundred dollars to this month's pocket money?"

3) "Men, you remember: what she's after is money, you give her enough money, she won't get mad at you for going to a woman." What she pursues is affection, you give her enough love, she doesn't look down on you because you don't have any money. If you can't give money and love, but you want her to tolerate your lazy and lazy lying, then sorry, you need to be a fool.

4, "You can not like what I say, do not like my appearance, do not like my personality, do not like everything about me, it does not matter, but you do not come to tell me your dislike, do not accuse me of not existing in the way you like, do not use your rudeness to laugh at my inadequacies, because I am not prepared for you." 」 ”

5. "You must firmly believe that one day you will become a noble white swan!" "The ugly duckling firmly remembered his mother's words, it passed through the mountains, passed the lakes, passed the forest, passed the desert... Although he did not turn into a beautiful white swan, he trained his body to be great, and he has always been recognized by everyone - this roast duck, the meat is great.

6、3。 After being married for two or three years, my wife asked me, didn't any of the girls in your class look up to you? I wondered, this is a set of sets! So he shook his head vigorously and said: No, absolutely not! The daughter-in-law asked again, as if to determine what: Is there really no sample? I was a little puzzled, and said in an affirmative tone: I swear to you, this really doesn't! The daughter-in-law sighed: I wondered, you said how I was blind in the first place, and I looked at your thing!

7, more than 300 new car companies are now only reliable Weilai Weima and Xiaopeng, and in the end, there are 10 left. Especially now that it is about to enter the elimination stage of new energy vehicles, not building a factory is basically equivalent to being eliminated. Whether it is a foundry or a self-built factory, it is a pig flying in the sky without mass production. If the knockout race is likened to a race, mass production is really standing on the starting line, the number of mass production is the number of runs, and the more mass production is, the farther it runs.

8, Dad: "If you have an orange now, I will give you two more, how many apples do you have?" The son said depressedly: "I don't know, our teacher taught us to use apples when counting, and did not ask how many apples there were for oranges!" Dad: "Well, five dollars can buy two apples, and if you give 10 yuan you can buy several apples?" Son: "But you have to first explain how much I can spend on this 10 yuan?" ”

9, Bai Suzhen and Xu Xian went up the mountain to collect medicine, saw a centipede under their feet, Bai Suzhen was about to stomp to death, Xu Xian stopped: "Mother, the centipede is also a life, let it go!" But Bai Suzhen, as if she hadn't heard it, still trampled the centipede to death. Xu Xian was a little angry and said, "Lady, why do you have to trample it to death?" Suddenly, Bai Suzhen "snapped" gave Xu Xian two slaps and roared, "If I don't step on it, you will save another little life, saying, do you want it to be cultivated into a fine and come to you to repay your kindness, you are good to be a concubine!" ”

10, at eleven o'clock in the middle of the night, my wife was still watching TV, I shouted to let her go to sleep, she reluctantly turned off the TV, and then had a big fight with me, I quickly turned on the TV, apologized, but it was still useless, and finally understood that she turned off the TV I did not praise her for being really good.

11, Beijing: Dad, I took the 530 test, which is 53 points higher than a score line! "My son really has a chance to go to Shanghai to travel!" Shandong: Dad, I am 530, and the second main line is 20 points away, "Really not out of the air, don't go on, roll Shanghai to work!" Shanghai: "Dad, I am 330, send me abroad" "OK, go to study business administration and come back to help me, this year I have recruited a lot of migrant workers from Shandong."

12, I am in the countryside, there is a tractor for farming, there is nothing to do in the New Year, and my wife took a shake to see if it could be started, and even the shake was not started several times. The old man came over and said that the tractor had been out of oil for a few months, and you could start it. The wife then said: Dad, you tell him what to do, let him sweat, do a cold, save money to buy medicine.

13, my gender is male, quietly less masculine, but also male!! Once on the subway, there were not many people in the carriage, just a little itchy shoulders, I opened my coat and grabbed it a few times, but I didn't expect a woman behind me to come over: "Is the shoulder strap off, I'll help you straighten it out"! I.........

14, I have a habit, is like to pull the hair on the hand, one day to take the bus, a couple sit behind me, the man's hand holds my backrest, I turned around, Mom, so much hair, one did not hold back to pull one, the man shouted, the woman looked at me with a grudge, really can't help it

15, after graduation, the girlfriend engaged in the beauty industry, did not expect that the first year did not finish the smooth back of a lot of small red pimples. After my girlfriend told me, she went to the clinic to see a doctor, and the doctor in the clinic asked her if she had a boyfriend. She felt very ashamed to say no, stood up and said that she had a boyfriend! Then, the doctor prescribed her several pairs of plasters that she could not apply at all.