Original New 3nd Session 2022-01-22
Author's curriculum vitae
Qin Weijie, born in 1947. Beijing Fengsheng Middle School 66 high school graduates. In November 1966, he went up to the mountains and went to the countryside to datong North China Agricultural Reclamation Corps. In February 1969, he was transferred to the 1st Company of the 15th Regiment and the Vice Industry Company of the Inner Mongolia Production and Construction Corps. In March 1972, he was transferred to the 15th Regiment School to teach. In July 1979, he fell ill and returned to Beijing. Worked as a temporary worker for two years, sold large bowls of tea on the street, made plastic pencil cases... In 1981, he was assigned to work in Xicheng District Department Store, and successively worked as a kindergarten nurseryman, deputy director, director of the office of the party committee of the company, deputy secretary of the party committee and secretary of the discipline inspection committee of Di'anmen Shopping Mall. In 2000, he took early retirement due to illness.
Original title
The vicissitudes of sangtian once me
Author: Qin Weijie
Time flies, and the years fly by. For me, 52 years have passed since I went to the mountains and went to the countryside. Now that he is over 70 years old, he has entered the ranks of the elderly. A lifetime of ups and downs, decades of toil. When I mention the pen, I don't know where to start. The bitterness and pain, hardship and struggle in the journey of life, it is really a past engraved in the heart and cannot be looked back.
Because my experience was higher than that of ordinary people of the same age, Teacher Gong Yu, who was teaching together in the Regimental Headquarters School, came to me in the early 1980s and wanted to write a book with me as the protagonist, but I politely refused. Just because of the pain we have experienced, we really don't want to touch it again. Coupled with the pressure of life and the difficulties of the environment shortly after returning to Beijing, I did not have the time and energy to recall.
Some of my experiences are not well understood by my children. This time, I also tell the children how their mother got to where she is today.
1, can not look back on the past, there are also some people afraid
In the year of the Cultural Revolution, I was about to graduate from high school and prepare for the college entrance examination. I remember that I have gone to the People's Hospital for a comprehensive examination of my body and am preparing to fill in the college entrance examination volunteer. The sudden movement overwhelmed me as a young and naïve person.
I have been a captain since elementary school, a member of the junior high school study committee, a class leader in high school, a high school senior, and I have a high prestige among my classmates, but I was suddenly left out in the cold, just because my family was not from a good background. I have always loved to sing, was called "golden voice" by my classmates and teachers, and often led the singing.
I first tasted the spiritual devastation and bitterness of personality, self-esteem, self-confidence, and it was one of the darkest years of my life. My fragile soul has secretly resolved that I will no longer be a cadre or sing in the future!
At the beginning of the big series, those who were not born well in the class were turned away and arranged to work in the countryside. At this time, the North China Agricultural Reclamation Corps went to Beijing to recruit soldiers. Not far west of our Fengsheng Middle School is the street office. I signed up with two classmates, three of whom didn't hesitate. He moved his hukou to Datong and became a corps soldier under the leadership of the People's Liberation Army. At that time, there was a feeling of complete liberation, of course, because there was no longer discrimination and repression.
But the good times were short-lived.
At the end of 1966, when various schools in Beijing were engaged in a revolution in resuming classes, our classmates learned that we had joined the corps, and the whole class jointly wrote a letter to let us quickly return to school and participate in the unified distribution of the state, and thought that it was wrong for us to leave the school without authorization and find jobs by ourselves. Some students also found their homes and asked their parents to mobilize us to return to Beijing.
The mother of one of the three of us came to Datong from Beijing to persuade us, and later this classmate returned to Beijing in the name of sending her mother and did not come back. In this way, only the two of us panicked, and with the urging of our classmates in Beijing, we were both determined to leave Datong as soon as possible and return to Beijing.
At that time, we were only eighteen or nineteen years old, and we ran away from the company in the middle of the night, because it was definitely impossible to go during the day, and one of us had already run back to Beijing and did not come back. Therefore, we did not dare to walk from the front of the company, for fear of being discovered, so we had to climb out of a hole in the toilet wall. It was the middle of winter, we wore large cotton pants, crossed the Jade River to the other side, climbed the hillside, and came to the Lonely Mountain Railway Station.
It was a very small cargo terminal with only stopping vans. The old man on duty at the station saw that our two little girls were covered in muddy water, their hair was stained with dry grass and branches, and their cotton pants were mostly wet, which was very sympathetic. Beckon us to warm up by the big fire and bake our cotton pants by the way. I remember the wet cotton pants steaming up in front of the red-hot stove. When we said we were going back to Beijing, the old man said that there would be a train pulling coal passing by in a while, and you could take it to Datong first.
Sure enough, not long after, the car came, and we both climbed into the truck and set off for Datong! However, the truck could not enter Datong City, and the car stopped when it was almost there. We got out of the car, there was a viaduct not far away, guarded by PLA soldiers with guns, and we walked over to be questioned. Maybe they saw that we were little girls, not like "class enemies" who were engaged in sabotage, and let us go. At dawn, we arrived at Datong Railway Station, got on the train, and returned to Beijing.
Unexpectedly, the classmates recruited us back, and when we returned to school, we were supposed to participate in the unified distribution of the state, but in fact, it was not the case. We went to the school leader and replied: Your household registration is no longer in Beijing, and the school will no longer be responsible for your distribution. So, for a long time, we were in a dilemma. Here you have no household registration, you are not assigned; there you become a deserter, and if you go back, you will have to be criticized and fought. I remember that my hair was dark and dense, and at that time, due to excessive thinking, my hair fell out a lot, and I was really worried that I had become bald.
In the autumn of 1968, with a feeling of trepidation, several of us reluctantly returned to Datong. Maybe it is understood from above that we are students in school after all, and they should have recruited social youth at that time, and it is understandable that we ran back to school without permission! So we didn't get into a fight, and the uneasy heart finally let go.
At the beginning of 1969, our North China Agricultural Reclamation Corps was incorporated into the Inner Mongolia Production and Construction Corps. On February 6, a group of Datong Regiments chartered a train wagon and went to Wuyuan County, Bayannaoer League, Inner Mongolia, where the face was full of loess and could hardly be recognized. In the face of this situation, many comrades-in-arms cried.
Because the climate in Inner Mongolia is colder than in Datong, the bedding we bring is not warm enough, so as long as someone returns to Beijing, everyone will help comrades-in-arms to bring bedding, cotton clothes and so on from home. I remember one year, I brought luggage for a few comrades-in-arms, plus my own, a total of 6 pieces. At that time, I didn't want to bring suitcases when I went out, but I used handbags. I had two hands, one on the left and one on the right, and 4 futons, which could only be tied with rope and put on my shoulders, one after the other.
When I arrived at Liuzhao Railway Station, as soon as I got off the train, a long train of trucks blocked in front of me, looking left, I couldn't see my head, and I couldn't see my tail. I saw some people crawling through the gap in the train wheels, and without thinking, I put down my luggage first, pushed it through the gap one by one, and finally climbed over. Due to the large amount of luggage and slow movements, I had just passed for a few seconds, and the train "banged" and started, and I was shocked into a cold sweat. This experience was quickly told to my mother through a letter from home. I was too young to know that doing so would worry my family. Until the old mother was 90 years old, when she mentioned this matter to me, everyone still felt very afraid.
2, overloaded operation, hone my will and physique
In 1971, I was re-elected as the head of the powder room in the side business. In addition to the three girls in our powder room, there are two men, who make tofu noodles every day and supply the canteens of all companies in the regiment. Among them, the oldest is Master Shao, who has mastered the technology of powder leakage, and Master Zhang, who is responsible for watching the starch grinding. We are three girls, mainly responsible for carrying water, soaking grain, and passing the pulp (soy milk and powder pulp). Later, I also learned to make tofu and leaky powder with my master. According to the task of Lianli, we soaked 240 kilograms of grain every day, mainly soybeans, peas, corn, soybeans are used to make tofu, corn and peas are used to grind starch, make vermicelli. A small donkey grinds and grinds beans from 6 a.m. until 3 or 4 p.m.
Because the burden on our shoulders in the work of the powder house is very heavy, Zhang Lianchang often goes to the powder house to inspect. Once, he offered to increase grain, soaking 360 pounds a day. I immediately refused and said no, because to complete the task of 240 kilograms of grain, the three girls had to pick up 76 loads of water every day to fill the three large cylinders with a diameter of about one and a half meters in the operation room. If the grain is increased to 360 catties, then we will have to pick up more than 110 cartons of water. Even the little donkey can't pull the grind!
For this matter, the company commander named several times at the all-company meeting, criticized the powder room for not being able to do as Company Li asked, and said such ugly things as occupying the pit and not pulling, which I really cannot accept. Because I have always been a hard-working person, no matter what I do, I will never be lazy. The reason for this is also to safeguard the personal rights of not overloading the labor, but also to consider the special situation of the girls' bodies. At that time, we soaked our hands and feet in cold water all day, and a few girls had already had problems with their bodies, so I carried them hard to the end. That time, because he was really angry, he moved the liver fire, and as a result, he fell seriously ill.
Hard work has honed my will and exercised my physique. Because every day I have to use a flat burden to draw water from the well, directly put the wellhead, and because when the powder leaks, I have to put more than a dozen pounds of wet starch in the big scoop, tie it to the wrist of the right hand, and then smash the right wrist with my left hand one by one, and the wet starch falls into the boiling water pot one by one through the fixed hole on the scoop, until the starch is all flowing, and it takes about six or seven minutes to leak a scoop, so I have a great arm strength. The puller that the boys often play with, the five springs, I pull on as soon as I pull, and I can pull several times in a row. Some boys didn't believe it, and they came to me with a puller to confirm.
3, my love and marriage, there is also sweetness in the bitterness
I am a high school graduate of the class of 66, and I am the oldest among the young people in the Corps. Soon it will be the age to talk about marriage, which is naturally eye-catching. However, because my family is not from a good background, even if someone likes it, people dare not fall in love with me. However, there is a person who is not afraid and takes the initiative to find someone to introduce. What he didn't expect was that it was because of me that it caused him "big trouble", and this person was my old partner Liu Fengyi.
It turned out that we were all old and knew each other very well. Although Liu Fengyi did not talk much, he was also lively and lively. When I was working in a powder room, he used to go up to the room and block the chimney of our stove with grass, causing us to pour smoke all over the house and cough vigorously when we burned the fire. He also wrote a letter to his brother-in-law, who was the party secretary of the Qiqihar Mining Bureau, because he wanted to find me, and asked him if it was okay for him to talk to me. The brother-in-law wrote back and said that as long as he was well, there was no problem. Liu Fengyi probably made up his mind at that time. But what happened later was really unexpected. Our marriage, it should be said that it began to fall in love, has also become a well-known thing in the whole group.
Liu Fengyi is a "veteran" (Zhiqing's title for demobilized soldiers from the army), and it is natural to mention it. Because during the political interrogation, he learned that he was in love with me, and there was no approval from the registration division. However, Liu Fengyi insisted on his opinion and said that he did not want to mention it. This angered the cadres in charge of the division, put him on the hat of "asking his wife for revolution", and criticized him as a negative model.
At that time, I had just been transferred to the school from the side job company and was studying at Baotou No. 4 Middle School. Before I left for Baotou, I had already heard about his Tiktiko being blocked by me, so I asked the school teacher not to tell him my address in Baotou. During my further study in Baotou, I used one night to write four pages of my own views on small composition paper to the Regiment Political Department, one was that I thought that there should be no theory of descent (then called "blood theory"); second, I made it clear that I would never affect Liu Fengyi's progress, and I would rather not fall in love with him and support him. So, the love between us just began and ended. I remember that the letter also wrote such a sentence: He took his Yangguan Road, and I crossed my canoe bridge. However, what I did not expect was that Liu Fengyi was completely killed, but instead "Wang Ba ate the scales and had an iron heart", identified "non-Qin Weijie and did not look for it", and preferred not to mention it.
A teacher named Wang Ruifang in the school was transferred out of the school, passed by Baotou, and went to me deliberately, saying: "You are also too cruel, do not contact Liu Fengyi, he gave up for you, often come to the school to inquire about your news!" Contact him! I was still unmoved, and I studied in Baotou for four months, and I didn't write him a single letter. It wasn't until the end of the study, when he returned to the fifteenth regiment, that he heard about it and came to the school to find me. I saw that his mental head was not at all the same as it was, and the person was almost like being beaten by frost. My heart suddenly softened, and I thought about the future of both of us, and I couldn't tell if it was bitter or sweet.
It is said that I did not want to mention it, but I don't know whose idea it was to transfer Liu Fengyi to the Houshan Coal Mine and transfer me to the school there as a teacher. When I heard the news, I was very angry. Because I know that the conditions of the small coal mine are extremely poor, and there are few students in the school, what I learned when I was studying in Baotou was all the knowledge in the high school chemistry course. What is the purpose of such further education? It was clear that someone wanted to straighten us out and deliberately separated us.
I said to Liu Fengyi: "If you can't stand it and agree to go, we will blow the stage!" I've never seen such a whole person! Liu Fengyi also saw that I would blow with him because of the transfer to the coal mine, so I hardened my scalp, resisted the pressure, and did not go to the coal mine. This is all for me, Liu Fengyi is really a very honest person! It was also one of the biggest blows he had experienced when he was younger. At that time, he was still the platoon commander of the Tenth Company, and the former commander of the Tenth Company, Tan Company, was going to be transferred to the third company as the company commander, and he told the regiment that he would give Me Liu Fengyi! Later, I heard that liu Fengyi was asked for at the meeting of regiment cadres, and Zhang Company Commander of the Deputy Business Company was also mentioned. It can be seen that Liu Fengyi's down-to-earth and ability are obvious to all.
On the issue of Liu Fengyi's work, there have always been different opinions in the regiment. Some cadres who are dissatisfied with this matter, whether they see him or see me, will say something sympathetic. I remember one home visit, I went to the home of Cao Lanqi, the leader of the Fifteenth Regiment at that time, and I taught his two eldest children. Commander Cao said to me, "Xiao Qin, don't care what they say, you two should hurry up and get the marriage license and get things done." Just when we were about to travel back to Beijing to get married, at the Wuyuan Railway Station, we met three active military cadres in the regiment, and I remember that one of them was Du Guan of the Security Section, and several of them invariably said to both of us, "What other people like to say, you should do whatever you want!" Looking back now on those who once sympathized with and supported us, my heart is still warm.
4, rather than bend the character, under pressure is very helpless
Since I was young, I have been a very assertive person, unwilling to succumb to all kinds of pressure, and have a character that does not bend, but in that special era, I twice succumbed to political pressure and did things against my will.
In the first Spring Festival after being transferred to the school, the organ held a party to let each unit produce a program. The school prepared a big chorus "Shandan Dan Blossoms Red and Bright", discussing who would lead the singing, everyone was talking about it, and some people proposed: Xiao Qin, you come! I quickly said: No, no, I can't sing! At this time, I naturally remembered that in the early days of the Cultural Revolution, I had secretly swore that I would never sing in public again. I don't know why the school leaders and teachers think I can lead the song and unanimously recommend me. I still insist on saying "I can't"!
After the meeting, several female teachers in the same dormitory as me advised me: "Xiao Qin, you should lead the singing, otherwise the leader will not be happy, and it will be troublesome to give you the program and go online." When I heard this, I was a little scared. Because since the beginning of the Cultural Revolution, one of the manifestations of the ultra-left has been to go online, and even to make something out of nothing, I had to acquiesce. At that machine party, the chorus of school teachers was a hit, which was a good thing, but it also brought me a second helplessness and submission to political pressure.
In 1976, when Hua Guofeng was the chairman of the Party Central Committee, he watched a drama called "Gardener's Song", which was mainly a criticism of the uselessness of study. Chairman Hua gave full affirmation to this drama, and the major newspapers across the country reported it in its entirety and published all the plots. At that time, the education community took advantage of this east wind to restore the teaching order of the school and guide students to establish a good atmosphere of serious study in the school. After studying the research of the leaders and teachers of our school, it was decided that this play should also be rehearsed, and teacher Kou Yanpei would adapt it into a commentary, and then rehearse and perform it.
The play has four stars, a male teacher, a female teacher, and two students, a male and a female. The person who played the male teacher was quickly settled, and ma Shiyi, the director of teaching at the time, played it. Probably because of the experience of the last lead singer, everyone naturally recommended me to play a female teacher. I didn't even think about it, so I said: No! Because at that time, our son was less than two months old, plus my mother-in-law came from the northeast countryside to the great northwest to take the child for us, I couldn't let my mother-in-law look at my nursing son and play what a drama! For several reasons, I am adamant that I cannot afford it.
As soon as I pushed my resignation, the old principal Zhang Shouzhong at the time narrowed his eyes and spoke angrily: "Xiao Qin, this time you have to act, and if you don't act, you have to act!" Non-negotiable! In the end, it is a veteran who participated in the War to Resist US Aggression and Aid Korea. I am very disgusted by this attitude of the principal, and the character that never goes against the grain has sprung up again! In fact, it is really because every rehearsal, it is impossible to go home for several hours, and the child is hungry to eat milk, what to do? I still wouldn't say yes.
In the evening, several female teachers who were good with me said to me again: "Xiao Qin, you don't screw it, it will not be good for you!" My hot brain seems to be awake, and what I refuse this time is a political task! In those days, no matter how big a personal matter was, it was a small matter, and this was also the time to test my political consciousness. So, again, I accepted against my will.
Our play was a success with the efforts of four actors, arrangers, and accompaniments. After the premiere of the regimental headquarters, it was fully affirmed by the regiment leaders. One leader said, "I really didn't expect that the school is still a place where dragons and crouching tigers are hidden!" After that, the regimental political office began to organize companies to come to the regimental headquarters to watch.
The play was a success, but my two-month-old child was unlucky. From rehearsal to performance, I often couldn't leave for three or four hours, and if I went home to feed my children, others would have to stop and wait for me. I couldn't go home to feed my child, my child was hungry, crying, and my spilled out as soon as I snubbed, making my shirt and pants waist wet. After every rehearsal and performance, I trotted home and quickly fed my child.
I remember once after the performance, I couldn't take off my makeup, ran home, and the children looked at me, and they were about to be scared and crying. I picked him up, and he felt it was his mother's taste, so he gulped it down. But after all, the milk has flowed out a lot several times, and it can't be sucked out without eating for a while. The child is so small, he has not eaten enough, he still sucks hard, I just think that his sucking my heart is hurting.
Later, the Second Division of the Inner Mongolia Production and Construction Corps wanted to perform this play and arranged for us to perform in various regiments. I also proposed that the matter of the child's breastfeeding could not be solved, and the leader discussed it again and again, and finally decided to let me give the role to the school's teacher Wang Moyun. Acting, I was finally relieved!
5. Dragging children and daughters back to Beijing, full of nostalgia for students
Around 1974, intellectual youth from all over the country began to return to the city. The personnel in the regiment were turbulent, leaving the regiment, leaving more and more people, and although I was also a zhiqing, it was simply a luxury to want to return to Beijing, because I was married, and my spouse was not a zhiqing, and all the conditions did not meet. At that time, the psychological condition of Zhiqing was not too much to describe with trepidation!
1976 was a very unusual year in the history of New China. Three great people of the country died one after another, the Tangshan earthquake, and the overthrow of the "Gang of Four" all occurred in that year. The country was in turmoil, people's hearts were floating, and my second child was born that year. Maybe it has something to do with the unstable mood when I was pregnant with him, this child seems to be naturally restless, which makes it difficult for me to raise and educate later. I made up my mind that I would return to Beijing with my two children anyway. Because if you stay in the regiment, all those who have a little relationship, the children grow up, they can drive, go to the office, work in the hospital, and I have nothing to do with it, if they can't rely on good study and go to college to find a job, then they can only go to the land and become farmers.
After the conditions for returning to the city were gradually relaxed, I finally took my two children, went through the illness and returned to Beijing, leaving Liu Fengyi alone in Inner Mongolia. I repeatedly discussed with him beforehand: "Everything is worth sacrificing ourselves for the sake of the children." In the future, we will find a way to transfer you back to Beijing. ”
In April 1979, my two children's hukou was officially settled in Beijing. I was probably the last of the Beijing Zhiqing in the regiment to return to Beijing. When I was ready to leave, Director Li of the Political Department of the Youth League Headquarters talked to me and said that the intellectuals who returned to Beijing could not find a job, so it was better that you stay first and help the students review their homework and prepare for the middle school entrance examination. Considering the needs of the students, I agreed. So, it wasn't until July 1979 that I left the 15th Regiment with my two children and returned to Beijing. Later, Liu Fengyi wrote to me that several students in the school were admitted to high schools or secondary schools in Wuyuan County and other places, and the Political Office of the Youth League Headquarters rewarded me and specially sent me warm water bottles to show my gratitude.
I know that some of my students have taken the exam and are so successful, and I am really relieved. I remember that in the nearly eight years of work as a corps teacher, I traveled back and forth to Inner Mongolia, Beijing, to purchase the teaching equipment needed for chemistry classes, as well as various chemical raw materials, reagents, and glassware for experiments, and built a laboratory (in fact, it was a very small room) that the school had never had before. The chemistry course I taught gave the children there a new area and learned a lot of new things. This is also the contribution of our intellectual youth in the Corps!
I remember when I had kids, I changed to teaching math classes at school. For some knowledge that students are not easy to grasp, I often invite students to their homes and give them make-up lessons free of charge. There was a student (Cheng Zhihua) who I once tutored him individually, and when he grew up, he became the director of the sub-field. He came to Beijing on a business trip, specifically found my house to visit me, and brought me local specialties from Inner Mongolia. He said that I remember the color of the clothes I taught them to wear, which really touched me. The children of the Corps, under the education and teaching of Teacher Zhiqing, have made great progress in mastering knowledge, exercising their physique, and being human. Later, the teachers all left, and the children looked at Zhiqing's distant back and silently carved marks in their hearts. They saw another world in Zhiqing and had hope: "I will be like them in the future."
Decades have passed, and now many of the children there have achieved great success in various fields, some have become principals, some have become professors, some have become chiefs and secretaries, and some have become doctors. They never forgot the influence of Zhiqing on them, and came to Beijing to hold a large and small gathering to thank the Zhiqing teachers who have now entered the old age.
Although it is a good thing to be able to return to Beijing, the return of intellectuals to the city is facing new challenges and crises, and many people are in a difficult situation. In particular, I am afraid that I face more difficulties, because after all, I am old and have two children with me. Looking back now, after returning to Beijing, I really feel that I, a wounded soldier who did not fall during the Cultural Revolution, am almost about to fall again. One difficulty after another was placed in front of me, and it was really impossible to avoid it, and the fate that I should not bear at my age let me bear one by one. To the fearlessness and enterprising in my personality, the stubbornness of never turning back in the face of reality, let me always insist. Looking back on the road I have traveled, I think I am also a brave person and a hard-working person. Brave people can use the power of pain to know themselves, strengthen themselves, and become victors in the struggle against pain. Endurance is bitter and hard, and if you can stand hard work, you can get rid of all bad luck and overcome all difficulties; if you can stand hard work, you can also control your own destiny and change your destiny.
6, the hardships of life back to Beijing make me dare not dream of college anymore
After returning to Beijing in 1979, raising a family was my only task! However, my eldest sister, who was so strong all her life, was full of hope that I could take the self-study college entrance examination, and also bought a large stack of books and forced them on me. But I thought about it, I had to go to work every day, I had to take care of two children, I really didn't have the time and energy to read and study, and I didn't take her advice. This incident has always been a pain for me: because I still lack stronger perseverance and determination, I gave up the opportunity to study the college entrance examination by myself, and completely shattered my college dream. I know that this matter may have always made my eldest sister dissatisfied with me. Because my sister is under extremely difficult conditions, personal self-improvement, hard work, to become a national agricultural plastic film expert. Now that he is in his 70s, he is still traveling to and from all over the country for technical guidance, and often goes abroad for technical exchanges.
Before I had a formal job, I squatted at the intersection of Xidan and sold large bowls of tea for a day with only a dollar in income. Later, after being introduced, he worked as a temporary worker in The Beijing Plastic Pencil Box Factory. In the beginning, he was responsible for packaging the finished pencil case. I remember when packaging, kraft paper was very sharp, often cutting out many holes in my hands. People told me to slow down, but I couldn't be slow! Because it is a piece worker, just to make more money, you have to be faster. Later, I went to the heat sealing machine, put the plastic skin with various patterns, through the heat sealing machine, the high temperature pressed into the shape of a pencil box, and then the edge scrap was torn off.
Due to the lack of experience, but also because of the unwillingness to waste the 3 cents of a piece of plastic skin. Once, because the upper left corner of the skin was folded back, if it was directly pressed down, the plastic skin was scrapped. I used my left hand to open the nested skin from under the heat closing machine, but ignored the 3000-degree heat sealing machine mold. The bottom of my middle finger touched the heat closing machine, and the skin and flesh were burned in an instant. At that time, the machine smoked, and the workshop was filled with the smell of burnt meat, and everyone shouted in unison: "Who is it, hurry to the hospital!" At first, I was so frightened that I didn't feel pain, until my colleagues took me to the hospital for bandage, and I felt a jumping pain in my hand, and the bottom of my middle finger had been burned to expose the bones. My skin has always been bad, as long as it is broken, it will take a long time to heal. This time it was really bad, three or four months to grow well. It was summer, I couldn't take a bath myself, and my sisters in the factory were all good sisters to help me wash. When I got home, I couldn't bathe or wash my children's clothes, all of which were helped by my 60-year-old mother. To this day, I still have a visible scar on my left middle finger.
At that time, people often said that "a penny is difficult to defeat a hero", which is true. In those difficult times, I deeply tasted the bitterness of not having money in my hands. Because I and my two children, the daily living expenses are one yuan, and I dare not spend a penny indiscriminately. Once, I took my son to Xidan to buy something. Four-year-olds saw a small car on the store counter with a price tag of $5. He especially liked it, he had to buy it, I didn't promise it, because 5 yuan is 5 days of living expenses for us! He cried loudly on the street, crouched on the ground and did not walk, which attracted many people to see. I forcibly picked him up and left, the child did not understand things, still crying willfully, at that time my sour tears were also flowing, in fact, I was also very sad for the child, boy, who does not like car toys. Another time, my six-year-old daughter had a fever and I didn't have a penny in my pocket before it was time to pay her salary. Quickly found someone to borrow 5 yuan and went to Beijing Children's Hospital for medical treatment. At that time, it was very cheap to see a doctor, and it only cost more than 4 yuan. It wasn't until the end of the month that my salary was paid that I repaid the money I had borrowed.
In 1981, my nearly 30-year-old brother was getting married. Since I occupied a room with my two children, my brother got married and didn't have a house! I know that dragging my children back to Beijing will bring a lot of trouble and burden to my family, and I should find a way to solve my own housing problems. At that time, I had already worked in the kindergarten of Xicheng Department Store, so every day, I did not go home after work and went straight to the housing management office to complain about my difficulties. Ask them to help with housing issues. At the housing management office, I don't know how many tears I shed, those were really tears of sadness, tears of helplessness, tears of hope to get sympathy from others. My predicament, my sincerity, finally touched the hearts of the people in the housing management office, and decided to give me some materials to build a house by myself. And make it clear: the property rights of the house still belong to the housing management office. I was really grateful to Shu Zero, and immediately called Liu Fengyi back from Inner Mongolia and began to build a house by myself.
The house management office gave me purlins and rafters, some sand, white ash and a small amount of red brick, and told me that the material was not enough and that I had to rely on myself to find a way. Liu Fengyi was born as a farmer, and he held a plenum for clay work, but he had never done carpentry. However, he was a clever man, skillful, and looking at the original doors and windows in the house, he made the doors and windows according to the cat and the tiger for the first time. It was July and August, beijing was extremely hot, Liu Fengyi was doing big work alone, and his brother and a few male colleagues found from the unit were doing small work. Hanging lines, bricklaying, and purlin rafters are all under his command. The bricks were not enough, so I waited for me to go to the place where the house was demolished after work in the evening, picked bricks from the mound, and then used a cart to pull back to the yard, often until more than 12 o'clock at night. At that time, Beijing was not polluted, the summer sun was hot, and Liu Fengyi's body was sunburned. The suffering and tiredness of building a house in those years can be imagined. My brother and his colleagues in the unit played a big role, really good friends helped at all costs, and I built a house and tired them. To this day, I remember their names, and they were all my benefactors. Especially my brother, in the most difficult time of my life, always had to take twenty yuan out of his meager salary every month to support us. Now I often talk to my kids about these things.
Recalling this life, although there is the joy of success after the struggle, it is more of a bitter memory, in fact, it is also a lifelong regret. In July 1976, Xia Qian, a teacher who was admitted to Inner Mongolia University from the Corps School, came to my house from Hohhot to persuade me, saying that I should strive for the opportunity to relax the age of the college entrance examination at the end and fight again. At that time, I was already a mother of two children, and my son was only born for more than a month. Teacher Xia thought that I had seen through the red dust and given up my ideals, which was a pity. Because I study well and have a solid foundation of cultural knowledge, when some teachers in school are preparing to take the college entrance examination, I often help them review the high school curriculum. Teacher Xia thought that I did not understand the situation at that time, and said that now it is not like what you imagined, and you will definitely be admitted if you want to take the exam. Xia Qian is a senior high school student, studying very well, but the first college entrance examination, did not get admitted. At that time, there was also the influence of ultra-left ideas, also because of family origins. In the second examination, the Political Department of the Regiment Headquarters wrote a letter of recommendation, with only a few words: Useful talents, talents are desirable. That's how I was admitted. Xia Qian said that his origin was not affected. I believed what he said, but reality held me back. Because I have a child waiting to be fed, how can I go? Maybe then, as in the present, some students could take their sick mothers to school?
And according to my age, at that time, I could only enter the teacher training college. I think that even if I am admitted, I will still be a teacher when I learn it. I was already an official teacher in the state at that time. I no longer had the vigor and aggressiveness of my youth, and I withdrew. Teacher Xia was disappointed and left. Then he sent me a long letter, written on 6 pages of elementary school students' essay paper, and he said, "Pity for me, sorry for me." I said that under the pressure of the political environment, I found a safe haven prematurely, settled in a small family, and lived without the edges and sharpness of the past. He also said that I put all my hopes on my children, if they grow up and have a career, go to college, it will be a comfort to you, but if you can't do what you want, then you will be sad for a lifetime, regret for a lifetime. I looked at the letter, and tears soaked my shirt. When the child was so young, who could I tell my pain? I collected the letter and brought it back to Beijing, hoping to show the children when they were older. Although I never dared to dream of going to college again.
7, the family reunion in Beijing, tested our marriage
The zhiqing of the corps fell ill and trapped and returned to the city, and due to the restrictions of conditions, some married zhiqing had to go through the formalities of fake divorce. Due to various difficulties after returning to the city, as well as the different concepts of parents and relatives, some fake divorces finally became real. In particular, the spouses of Zhiqing, if they are demobilized veterans in the countryside, the family is reluctant to accept it, and such news has also spread to the Corps. I remember that the night before I left the corps with my children, many nearby students and family members came to my home to send me off, and naturally many people were also worried that I would not dump Liu Fengyi after I returned to Beijing. Wang Wenshan, the court president at the time, said, "You can rest assured that Qin Weijie and Liu Fengyi's marriage has gone through strong winds and waves, and even if more couples are separated, they will never disperse." It is true that our marriage is not what the average person thinks.
In my heart, the old Chinese traditional concept also influenced me, that is, "marrying a chicken with a chicken, marrying a dog with a dog." Although there are great differences in cultural pursuits, hobbies and interests, and there are often bumps in our married life, we have gone through 45 years of not abandoning and relying on each other. From July 1979, when I left Inner Mongolia, to August 1987, he was transferred first from Inner Mongolia to Qinhuangdao and then back to Beijing. We lived as a couple for eight full years. In the past eight years, I have taken two children alone, and I have to support my family and educate and guide, and the hardships I have experienced are really difficult to describe. Therefore, when others talk to me about how you have come here in the past eight years, I often use a line from Xiao Changbao in the modern Peking Opera "Wise Tiger Mountain" to say: Alas, eight years, don't mention it.
At that time, Liu Fengyi couldn't do it because of me, and this matter would have been over. He did not expect that the second year after I left, the leader of the farm (when the corps had been reorganized into a farm) would give him another job. He wrote to me and told me that all I could do in a hurry was to send him a telegram and tell him not to mention it, otherwise it would be even more difficult to transfer back to Beijing in the future! But it was too late, the appointment had already come down, and later the transfer, especially from Qinhuangdao to Beijing, confirmed my words, because it was more difficult to transfer cadres to Beijing than to transfer staff and workers.
In 1986, through the joint efforts of my relatives and me, Liu Fengyi was transferred from Inner Mongolia to Qinhuangdao as a section-level cadre, but only worked there for more than a year. At that time, I was transferred by the company's labor management to prepare for the Xidan Wanli Shoe Store Breastfeeding Treasure. Corey's leadership is very appreciative of my ability to work and how I do things. In the conversation with me, I learned about my family's difficulties, and I was very sympathetic, and even the leader of the company's personnel department said that he would definitely help me transfer my lover back to Beijing when he had the opportunity. However, the chief of the personnel section said that the opportunities for mobility are really few and the difficulty is quite large. One day, the chief of the labor section asked me, there is an opportunity for employee adjustment, do you want it? Without hesitation, I replied, "Yes!" That means that Liu Fengyi's identity must be changed from a cadre to an ordinary worker. I quickly wrote down my application. At this point, Liu Fengyi and I reached a consensus: for the sake of the family reunion, we must pay such a price! From the bottom of my heart, I thank him for the importance he attaches to our family.
In July 1987, I took my two children to Qinhuangdao to handle the formalities of Liu Fengyi's retirement and transfer to Beijing. For him to travel from Inner Mongolia to Qinhuangdao, I have been there no less than five times, and this time it should be the last time. The Qinhuangdao Personnel Bureau was not far from their unit, and we borrowed a bicycle, and the two children entrusted friends to take care of it. It was almost time to arrive, and I was pushing the cart past a hawker cart selling popsicles, and a cast iron rectangular stool was placed next to the car. A boy ran over and knocked the high stool down, right on my right foot. Although I felt a sharp pain, I continued to move forward. After a while, I felt the soles of my feet wet, and when I looked down, the front half of my socks were stained red with blood. I quickly took off my socks to see that the middle toe toenails of my toes had been crooked, as if I was about to fall off, so I quickly sat on the back seat of the bicycle and went directly to the hospital. The doctor said during the rinsing and bandaging that the toenails had not completely fallen off and were estimated to grow well. So, with thick gauze wrapped around our feet, we still went to the personnel bureau. Because according to my character, a day cannot be delayed.
When the Personnel Bureau heard that we were going to retire, we were surprised to say that we had never done such a thing in history, and we had to ask the provincial higher department. Therefore, in front of our face, I called Shijiazhuang for instructions, and the other party replied: ask the reason, write a written personal application, clearly voluntary, and never regret it. The people from the Qinhuangdao Personnel Bureau told us that after considering it, we would really retire after signing the pledge. I said it was true and would not regret it. If you look at my foot, if you come back from this injury, I will certainly not trouble you. In this way, Liu Fengyi retired to Beijing, and this time alone was done. I finally breathed a sigh of relief! The middle finger of my right foot is still different from the one on my left foot, because of the deformation of the bone, the length is longer, and the toenails are also crooked. That was another imprint of the life of the post-corps.
Others said that Liu Fengyi was quite discerning, and marrying Qin Weijie was the greatest blessing in his life. I also agree with this statement. Although he was so young, he was hit hard many times for me, and later followed me through a lot of tribulations, but the end was good. Especially when the comrades in the Corps reunite decades later, I am deeply touched. Because many veterans of that year, due to the hardships of life, have become too old to look like. Only one company and three companies and a few other well-known companies, and even a dozen or so veterans have died early. Everyone recognized that Liu Fengyi was the least changed among the veterans they knew. Some comrades-in-arms even said that Liu Fengyi was much more energetic than before, and it cannot but be said that a stable and harmonious family and the improvement of quality of life will leave a mark on people's appearance. So I often say to him, cherish it, our life like this is really not easy to come by!
8, the success of the children, gave me a lot of comfort
I think back then, I did pin my dream of going to college on my two children. Therefore, no matter how hard life is and how difficult the days are, I always ask my children to study hard and be sure to go to college. Thankfully, neither of our children let me down.
At that time, the family of four lived in a small room of 9.6 square meters per unit. There is a double bed in the house, a sofa, and the sofa should be opened at night to be used as a bed. A two-drawer table where the son slept in the same bed as his parents until he was 16 years old. Every summer, the house is hot like a steamer, Liu Fengyi in order to let the heat in the house can be discharged, on the roof opened a small skylight, the heat goes up, it feels a little better, but the heavy rain is troublesome, you have to hurry up to cover the window. Girls and children review their homework in the house before the college entrance examination, but it is still very hot, so they have to take the book every night and go to the street lamp on the side of the road to read. The cars that came and went not only did not disturb her, but also brought some cool breeze. An aunt in the courtyard once said that if tong tong can't go to college, then God really won't open his eyes.
Indeed, her daughter was admitted to university under such difficult conditions, which was the first time since she went to school that she officially took the entrance examination. Because her primary school graduation results were very good, she was guaranteed to be sent to the district's key school 13, and after graduating from junior high school, she was guaranteed to attend high school at her school. After finishing high school, he was admitted to college without suspense, majored in computer science, and was sent to graduate school five years later. Just after graduating from graduate school, he was hired by Bell Labs in the United States, which was one of the best in the world at that time. Our son worried me a lot, and when I was a child, I was beaten less. It has to do with my overly strict requirements and lack of patience. Now that people are old, I often reflect on my own inappropriate educational methods and methods, but instead kill the child's lively and active nature, make him have a rebellious psychology, and often act contrary to his original intentions.
I remember in 1984, my son was in the third grade of elementary school, and his sister was in the fifth grade. One night, I was rolling all over the bed with a stomach ache due to a gynecological disease, and just when the light bulb in the house was broken, the house was pitch black, and the two children were scared to cry. Because they alarmed the neighbors, they helped me call the unit, and the unit came to the colleague, helped change the light bulb, and sent me to the hospital. After I went to the school to attend my son's parent-teacher meeting, the class teacher, Teacher Wang, told me that your son Liu Kai is particularly sensible and has a very heavy heart. One day in class, I found that his eyes had been looking out the window and he was gone, and I asked him what was wrong, and he said that my mother was sick and hospitalized, but my father had not returned from the field, and I was very uneasy about her. Before he could finish speaking, he cried sadly. When I saw Teacher Wang talking about this, his eyes were red, his voice was still a little choked, and I couldn't help but cry. I know, what the teacher said, is that the night I fell ill, the family light bulb was broken, and my father was not in Beijing. This incident left a mark of helplessness and sadness on the young mind of the child. Although his son XiaoKai is mischievous and active, he is also very strong and is a smart child. At the end of elementary school, less than ten students in the class were assigned to the 159 middle school according to their scores, and most of the rest of the students were the so-called "big bangs" who went to the nearest middle school to study, and he was one of the very few. After graduating from junior high school, he was admitted to the 156 middle school second only to the district key school, which laid a good foundation for him to enter the university in the future, and after graduating from high school, he was also admitted to the university naturally. Later, he was also very good in his job, and the leaders trusted him.
The two children, because they have followed their parents since childhood, have experienced the hardships of life, not only have a strong ability to live independently, but also deeply understand all the efforts of their parents for them. Therefore, both children are very filial piety. This is also my greatest satisfaction in spirit and life after middle-aged and elderly! From a young age, their sisters and brothers have learned to appreciate the difficulty of their parents, and they have treated their parents with all kinds of filial piety. Don't look at Xiao Kai is a boy, but thick and thin, with the sister two people at once, always silently for us to replace the home appliances, furniture, and even the most convenient and applicable kitchen utensils, he can think. Maybe it was their mother who set an example for them from an early age, and they were all strong in life and work.
The letter that Teacher Xia wrote to me, my daughter showed it to her when she was in high school, but because of the later move, the letter was accidentally lost, and my son did not see it, and I feel very sorry. I have a distinct personality and a serious dedication throughout my life. After returning to Beijing, the official work was always in the Xicheng District Department Store, but in different units. When working in the kindergarten, he was promoted to the director of education in 1984, and in 1987 he was promoted to deputy director, independently responsible for the overall work of the company's second kindergarten; in 1990, he was transferred to the company's organization department. In 1993, he was appointed Director of the Office of the Party Committee. In 1996, he was promoted to deputy division level cadre by the district committee. At that time, it was already clear that young cadres should be promoted, and I was already 49 years old at that time, serving as the deputy secretary of the party committee and the secretary of the discipline inspection committee of the Di'anmen shopping mall. No matter what post I am in in which unit, I am the leader's right-hand man and the leader of the masses.
I have always believed that the value of people is determined by myself, no matter what position I am in, I require myself to be modest and cautious, not ostentatious, and learn from the merits of all the people around me. Constantly review yourself, improve yourself, and do your best to do a good job. Therefore, in all posts, they have been affirmed by the leaders and praised by the masses. In di'anmen shopping mall, he was responsible for the specific work of enterprise party building, grasped cadre management and discipline inspection work, and was affirmed by the organization department of the district party committee and the district discipline inspection committee for many times. For many years, because I was constantly in a state of depression, nervousness, rushing, toiling, and exhaustion, the machine of my body aged prematurely. In 1996, when the unit gave a physical examination to the members of the leadership team, using a Japanese testing method, one person cut a lock of hair, and the conclusion clearly stated: excessive tension, heart abnormalities, cerebral arteriosclerosis. Later, the physical examination for many years was an abnormal electrocardiogram. I was supposed to retire at the age of 55, but due to frequent heart upset, I had to decide to retire early. At the age of 53, I went through retirement procedures.
Now that I am old, my health is not as good as before, and coronary heart disease and diabetes have accompanied me for many years. Due to heart disease, taking a proprietary Chinese medicine, allergies to drug rash, life-threatening, the use of hormones in Peking Union Medical College Hospital, completely destroyed the function of my pancreas to secrete insulin, became a type I diabetic. I inject insulin four times a day, and now I'm used to it and skilled. The body is in this condition, and there have been many severe hypoglycemias, which have caused my brain to degenerate very quickly, no longer as smart and alert as people think, but more and more sluggish and rigid. Maybe Alzheimer's disease will find me very early, and I am mentally prepared for this.
In my life, the stormy and changeable environment has made me learn to think and recognize things; the hardships and tribulations of life have made me learn to bear and become strong; the changing people and things have made me learn to distinguish between right and wrong and go down the right path.
I guess I didn't waste my life!
Author's close-up
Completed in April 2018