Author: Ai Xiaoyue (Parents Evolutionary Theory)
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > playing parents are more likely to guide their children to establish a sense of order</h1>
Not long ago, there was a video that went viral.
There was a cute baby playing the game of the little doctor at home, she not only seriously imitated the doctor's toy auscultation, but also made each toy neatly lined up, and let them maintain a distance of about 1 meter between them.
The most touching thing is that at the end of the line, Dad, with a serious face, dressed as a wounded man, is seriously waiting for the "doctor".
This has aroused heated discussion among netizens:
"This father can actually collapse without laughing, and it is similar to the expression of a real patient, and he is also an old actor, haha."
"Dad didn't play with the phone and waited silently, very attentive companionship."
"So cute, loving family."
……
The father did not despise the childishness of the child, nor did he play with the mobile phone perfunctory child, and from his professional attire and the cooperation in place, it can be seen at a glance that he is a "veteran" who often accompanies the child to play games.
It is no wonder that this child knows at a young age that there is a queue to see a doctor, and it is necessary to maintain a distance of one meter.
The book "The Power of Play" tells us: "Play is a way for children to try out adult roles and skills; it is a way for children to learn how to build intimate relationships with people, and even get back together with others; and it can help children recover from emotional trauma." ”
In fact, the highest level of parental ability is not to earn money, nor to manage children, but to accompany children to play games.
I know that someone once asked: "What is it like to have a funny mom?" ”
A netizen shared his mother's clever trick of getting him up in a funny way.
He said: "My mom was so funny, she sneaked into my bedroom at night and clipped my phone on my desk into a book, put it on the shelves, and left. ”
The next morning, his mobile phone alarm clock rang, he habitually touched the mobile phone, but did not touch it, so he woke up at once, and then turned on the light to find, and then turned off the light to find the light, or did not find...
By the time he tossed and turned for minutes to find his phone in the bookcase, he was fully awake, and it was only 6:17 a.m.
He cried and laughed and found his mother, but her mother smiled and said, "I just want you to get up early and toss and turn, to see that you got up very early today." ”
He deeply admired his mother, and at the same time felt: "It is really happy to have a funny mother." ”
The mother used a playful way to wake the child up, cleverly let the child overcome the inertia of lying in bed, and easily let the child get up early.
Piaget, a famous child psychologist, believes: "Play is a tool for children to understand the world and develop learning ability, and play is essentially an intellectual activity." ”
"Playing games" is a good way of interaction between parents and children, and children prefer parents to tell them what they should understand in a fun way than boring preaching.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > playing parents are more likely to raise strong children</h1>
Qian Zhongshu's daughter Qian Yuan was born in that turbulent world, but she maintained an optimistic and positive attitude.
This is inseparable from Qian Zhongshu's notorious playful personality.
He can watch other diners with his daughter when he takes him to the restaurant, eavesdrop on conversations at neighboring tables, and then gossip about the relationship between the father and daughter, often discussing an emotional drama.
He also hid toys, mirrors, brushes and even brushes in his daughter's bed every day before going to bed, and planted "mines" in the name of "landmines", and when his daughter screamed, he was happy.
He is proficient in multi-Chinese, so he often uses this skill to tease children, occasionally teaching his daughter some French and German words with farts, and other foul words, and did not expect that her daughter would soon be able to refute him in English.
Similar interesting things between father and daughter are endless, so that Qian Yuan often said when she was a child: "My father and I are the most brothers, we are two naughty children of my mother, and my father is not worthy to be my brother, only worthy to be a younger brother." "
Under the words and deeds of such a humorous and funny father, Qian Yuan can laugh at life no matter what kind of difficulties and setbacks she encounters when she grows up.
In contrast to my parents, I thought of my own relatives.
Not long ago, she said to me angrily: "I gave my child good food, good clothes, and good use, and she actually said that she wanted to change her mother, and she was really angry with her." ”
After a deep conversation, I learned that on the weekend, the child wanted to make a cake at home, but she said: "How much trouble I have, and waste time, let's buy one directly." ”
The child tried to pick up a few leaves to make a painting, and she said, "Oh, don't get your clothes dirty today, I'll buy you new toys, and you'll do your homework." ”
The child thought she was very boring, so he stifled her.
I've seen this kid who loses her temper at every turn and can't accept a little opinion, or she won't do it.
And my relative gave up the development opportunity at work in order to take care of the child, and almost all of her energy was spent on the child, and it is no wonder that the child behaved like this, and it is no wonder that she was depressed.
Jane Nelson, founder of the American Positive Correctional System, said:
"What I love about humor is that it fosters many of the qualities that children have, such as cooperation, respect, love, help, self-esteem, a relaxed attitude towards life, a connection between people and, of course, confidence and happiness."
When we forget how to play and only educate children with rigidity and seriousness, it is easy to draw the ground as a prison, but instead put heavy shackles on ourselves and our children, which not only deprives them of their own happiness, but also makes the children lose their spirituality.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > make you a playing parent with love and respect</h1>
Someone said, "Parents who can play are one out of a thousand." ”
A study of play between 8,000 parents and 3,000 children aged 7-12 in more than 20 countries, including China, the United States and the United Kingdom, showed that:
72% of children prefer to play with their parents, but 62% of parents feel too stressed to spend time with their children.
In addition, 93% of Chinese parents prefer to stay with their children instead of playing with them.
So, how do you be a playing parent?
First, you have to fill your "cup" first.
Last night, I came home from overtime at 7 p.m., and as soon as the child saw me, she ran over to tell her what had happened in kindergarten and asked me to play games with her.
I tiredly accompanied her for more than an hour and arranged for her to go to bed, but she was very dissatisfied and said, "My mother did not accompany me." ”
Surprised, I asked, "Wasn't Mom always by your side?" ”
She muttered, "But you always look at your phone." ”
I suddenly realized that I thought I could play with my phone to relax while accompanying my children, but I didn't expect that my absent-mindedness made her feel bored and disrespected.
Someone said: "Everyone's emotions are finite resources, like a reservoir, the more used here, the less there is; and it cannot be used without addition, otherwise it will one day be exhausted." ”
Deeply.
When we all feel depleted of energy ourselves, we may as well respect our feelings and honestly tell our children that they need to take a break.
Only when we first fill our own "cups" and refill our hearts can we continue to give our children enough emotional energy.
Second, you have to make yourself a "child."
I believe you must remember the following scenes:
During the epidemic, in order to fulfill his children's wish to go to the zoo to see elephants, Wu Jing wrapped a quilt and dressed as an elephant at home.
In order to make the children happy, Teacher Tu Lei, who usually does not smile, wears pajamas and cooperates with the "Tom and Jerry" cartoon on TV, posing exaggerated actions to interact with Tom Cat.
There is also Deng Chao, the drama father who is recognized by netizens as Sun Li's "third child".
In order to let the children ski at home, he opened his brain and used local materials to make "skis" with some hardboard paper.
These playing dads, without exception, play the role of children's playmates, they don't care whether their actions seem childish to other adults, but give their children equality and respect with love.
Lawrence Cohen once said: "Play is the language of the child, and only in his language can the child know effectively: we understand his voice, we appreciate his efforts, and we believe that he can cooperate." ”
The philosopher Zhou Guoping once said: "Parents have love for their children, and it must be interesting." ”
Playing parents can make their children more optimistic, more imaginative and creative, they will be more willing to follow the rules, and they will be more able to face the problems of life with ease.
The way to become a parent who can play is very simple, you may wish to fill your heart first, and then try to "become" a child, "squat" in the mentality, and focus on playing with your child.
About the author: Ai Xiaoyue, columnist of Fushu, Fushu Sixth Parent-Child Camp Foundation Class 1 student, parents intensive reading department headline number signed author, confident and strong, optimistic and self-motivated, extreme pursuit of life happiness of me, want to use words to heal themselves, cure and I have the same confusion of you, this article was first published parents intensive reading, copyright belongs to Fushu, unauthorized, must not be reprinted, infringement must be investigated, Fushu 2018 blockbuster launch of the new book "Good Life"
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