01
I saw what an emotional blogger said online:
"How many people are like this? The in-laws can't stay, the mother's family can't go back, go back to the mother's house to stay, it's not as good as the in-laws. Therefore, girls should not marry too early, take advantage of the time before marriage without children, family drag, concentrate on making money, buy themselves a house, even if it is smaller, it is also their own home. Ordinary women do not have umbrellas, they have to run on their own all their lives, you must be sober-minded, instead of entrusting yourself to the least worthy person at the best age, wading through time, one wrong step, one wrong step. ”
Deeply believed, ordinary women do not have umbrellas, you have to rely on your own hard work to run all your life, but if you get married and have children in the best years, in case the man is unreliable, you want to come out and work your career, it is too late at that time, you are difficult to walk, one is that you are old, the other is that you feel that the child is your drag and no one can help you, you will be difficult and difficult.
Yesterday very late, reader Xiaoli found me, she said: "Yibao sister, our family is drunk and mud back, I just argued with him a few words, let him not drink so much, he started a fire to throw my mobile phone down, the screen is spent." I kept crying with my broken phone, and he didn't coax me or ignore me. I didn't have any care in my marriage, and if it wasn't for two children, I really wanted to divorce. But what if I'm divorced? I couldn't go back to my mother's house, and I didn't have any job to work while taking my children. I don't have any money myself, and suddenly I find that I have no choice, I don't know where the way out is? ”
Listening to what she said, I replied: "You only have to work hard to earn money first, there is no other way, you can only be patient in marriage, try not to annoy him." ”
Xiaoli is not very old, 25 years old, she chose to marry and have children at the best age, and as a result, she married a good person who can be trusted. Nowadays, there are problems in marriage, she has no way to go, she wants to divorce and worry about her two children, her mother's family is not reliable, she has no umbrella, and she is not very strong, so it is easy to be cornered. If you have a little confidence, you will not be forced into this position.
Ordinary women do not have umbrellas, if you are unreliable, your best choice is not to get married and have children, but to work hard to improve yourself, when you are strong, you will also have better choices. In case the marriage is unreliable, you still have yourself to be able to rely on.
02
Babe is another reader of mine whose current state is freshly divorced.
I didn't know about her family situation at first, so I asked her to go out to work, she said: "I don't have to go to work, because we are a family business, my parents are willing to raise me and my children." 」 I also have an older brother, and my brother also hurts me very much, so now after my divorce, I am responsible for taking care of the children and accompanying the growth of the children. My mother's family could afford me, and they wouldn't let me think about work. As for my ex-husband, when I chose to divorce my mother, I said, 'If he is unreliable, you will lose him, we can't be in debt for him, he has no sense of responsibility'. I have the confidence to rely on. ”
A girl like Babe is in a different situation: her mother's family is rich, and she is the youngest, and her parents and brother hurt her. She can not work hard, because she has a mother's family as a support and support, but ordinary girls, is there?
In reality, there are many ordinary girls like this, the mother's family can not help much, in case the in-laws are not reliable, even if they are divorced, the mother's family can not go back. This kind of girl must realize the importance of financial independence, you have no umbrella, you do not have a big tree, you have to improve yourself and strengthen yourself.
Qiu Yu's original family is not particularly good, she is the second eldest in the family, and she belongs to the most unfavored one. Among the three children, her parents always ignored her feelings, and Qiu Yu's presence at home was very weak. Qiu Yu knew from a very young age that her parents would not become her future dependents, and her only way out was to read, so she worked reading. Compared to her sister and brother, her grades are the best.
When she was 16 years old, her parents advised her not to go to school and let her go out to work, but Qiu Yu was admitted to their key high school. Her parents let her go to school because of her face, and then Qiu Yu was later admitted to a key university. What her parents suggested to Qiu Yu was to let her get married and have children quickly, and the girls were so tired of doing what they were doing, but Qiu Yu did not listen to her parents, because Qiu Yu knew: a girl like her who has no family background, and a girl who does not have her parents' love, she has to work harder to rely on herself. No one will be your backer, you have to work hard to become your own backer.
After graduating from QiuYu University, she stayed in a big city to work, she also worked hard, she was not in love with the brain, but spent more time on improving herself. By the time he was 30 years old, Qiu Yu had bought a small house in the city with the money he had earned over the years.
The house is small, but it is always home.
When she was 32 years old, Qiu Yu fell in love, and she did not listen to her parents' bride price, everything was her own decision, and marriage was also from Jane. Qiu Yu said that she should take life into her own hands, even if she is married, she is also very vocal, rather than being clamped down everywhere.
Qiu Yu was glad that she did not marry and have children very early, if she chose to get married too early and wanted to rely on men, then she herself would not be strong. In case something happened to her marriage, her mother's family could not be trusted, and she herself could not hold on. Fortunately, I worked hard to improve myself in my best years, so that no matter what happens in the future, I can use it as my support and dependence.
03
A netizen left me a message: "Every time I have been wronged in my in-laws' house, I am sad and disappointed to despair, and I return to my mother's house to find that I still live a good life in my in-laws' house!" The in-laws are no longer good, the good villains are injured, and they can be slowly healed, but the mother's family, after getting married and getting married, there is still a place for me. ”
Where is the way out for such a woman? Not by the in-laws, not by the mother-in-law' family, but by yourself.
The writer Yi Shu once warned women in the world: economic independence, only the ability to talk about personality independence. We don't expect women to make any big money or become big things, but you must at least be able to support yourself, and when you want to get rid of an unhappy marriage, you will not be helpless because of financial difficulties.
What is self-reliance, in layman's terms, is that a person has to live independently on his own. If a woman can't even feed herself, then she will become passive in marriage. Some women have their mother's family as a dependency, and she can choose to enjoy life, but some ordinary women, the mother's family can not become their dependence.
Marriage is not a woman's protective umbrella, and the only thing a woman can rely on is always herself.
Self-reliance and self-improvement are the capital on which women depend for their survival, husbands are not women's long-term meal tickets, and women after marriage have to have their own means of livelihood. I don't support ordinary girls getting married and having children too young, you should use the best years to fight for yourself, if you indulge in family affairs too early, then you can't rely on yourself. What if, after many years, your marriage is unreliable?
There must be a self, not too dependent, too early to give, no self.
A recent survey found that the willingness of young people in "Z generation" to marry is on a downward trend, and the willingness of women to marry is significantly lower than that of men. "Generation Z" refers to a generation born between 1995 and 2009. Now more and more girls realize the importance of financial independence and self-improvement, they no longer see marriage as the only way to settle down, they realize that if you don't have an umbrella, then you have to work harder and fight for yourself at the best age.
Women now have more options, so girls would rather marry later than marry themselves early.
Today's topic: Do you belong to the kind of woman whose in-laws can't tolerate it and can't go back to her mother-in-law's house? Welcome to leave a message.
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★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing about the warm emotional affairs of this world.