●Author ╳ Sun Qingyue
●Gong name ╳ Big world and small people
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01
Gao Yuanyuan, who disappeared for 9 years, finally made a comeback to shoot dramas. She herself said that this comeback has done a long psychological construction.
"In the inertia of a family life, it is also difficult to jump out. I enjoy living day after day and not want to miss out on my child's growth. ”
I have seen someone ask before: 9 years of comeback, what does she rely on for battery life?
Not in a hurry, have their own rhythmic attitude to life, leisure time, travel is a reward for themselves, and comeback to work, is not a new journey.
She always grasps the best sense of rhythm.
02
I haven't traveled for a long, long time.
Business trips certainly don't count. I travel for business every month, and sometimes I go to new cities, but it all comes down to business trips, which is the kind of time line of airport hotels.
The assistant girl who traveled with me now said, Sister, I am so tired from business trips, the trip is too rushed, and it does not stop.
I thought that compared to my business trips in my early 20s, these trips might be on vacation now.
When I was in my early 20s, I was actually traveling, but I was really in the mood of traveling. The time is much more intense than the current business trip, the daily itinerary is almost always stuck in the point of planning, and there is a change in the interview time in the middle, which may delay the entire shooting plan.
Every day of high-intensity work, afraid of which lens was not filmed, afraid of the interviewee temporary appointment, afraid of going to the scene to find the opposite of what we expected.
Wake up early every morning, and the camera teacher repeatedly confirms that the tripod, battery, lights, etc. are all in place, and the local language is sometimes fluent and sometimes does not understand the driver (in Suriname the driver only speaks Dutch, we are gesturing the whole time), repeatedly confirm the address to go, the time needed, and where to wait for us, and then the day is busy.
Generally exhausted back to the hotel is already ninety o'clock in the evening, usually have not eaten dinner, the hotel downstairs casually bought a sandwich to bring to the room, while eating must read the day's material without any omissions, before daring to end the day's work.
Flights often depart early in the morning and arrive late at night.
But it was such a business trip, in the early 20s, I thought it was traveling. Every time I pack my suitcases, when I take a taxi from my apartment to São Paulo Guarulhos Airport, and when I eat a sandwich at the only Starbucks in the late-night airport, I find it an exciting trip.
03
You see, excitement is all relative.
When you have a very free time, a very free work, a life where you can travel anytime, anywhere, I have not traveled for a long time.
When I was 17 years old, I swore that I could travel when I was done. And then all of a sudden it was busy to the present.
Speaking of which, it is really emotional.
Before making a great determination to travel, I seriously applied for a Schengen visa, and also informed my university classmates living in France, and even planned the route from Paris to him, which castles to see on the road, and to live in the house he personally built brick by brick.
Then it was the week before the ticket was bought, because the job was canceled.
There was no disappointment or loss at the moment of cancellation, it seemed to be a very common thing, but the friends around me and the children in the studio were shocked.
When I was 20+, I always wanted to go to the farthest place and see the most beautiful scenery, as if the moment I sat on the plane, I already smelled the sea breeze.
When we were very young, travel was the hope in our hearts. Even the kind of travel that is a work trip seems to breathe in the air of freedom, and the heart is filled with distance, as if no matter how far away it is, it is not enough to fill our vast hearts.
I have the hope of seeing the scenery in my heart, the exhaustion of those business trips, the exhaustion of physical strength, the pressure of work seems to be non-existent, and in those summers, those excitements have taken me a long, long way.
A reader for many years, I have seen it at the signing party. Writing me a message like this makes me feel like I saw myself in my early 20s.
"Yesterday at one o'clock in the morning, I got off the plane, picked up my luggage, and went to wait for the taxi, and the crowds around me were surging and the air in Shenzhen fresh would be refreshing. Looking at the crowd, you can feel the pulse of the city, and people are exhilarating.
I was thinking, this is the vast world I have been pursuing. ”
04
You see, it doesn't have to be travel.
I was particularly understanding of what she said. It's at some crowded moment that you find that the life you want and the world are already in front of your eyes.
At some point, you find that what you need is not travel, not far away, but hope.
Man lives by many, many hopes.
In our early 20s, we traveled to this vast world, found the heavens and the earth, wanted to climb Kilimanjaro, wanted to go to Ushuaia to see the end of the world.
Only when there is hope, there will be a good life, because that hope will take you where you want to be.
Then it seems that after the age of 30, you can really endure a long time without a real sense of travel, probably because most of the places you want to go have already gone, and more because the hope in life is no longer the freedom and distance you had in your early 20s.
This hope becomes richer in layers and thicker in taste, not the direct stimulation of going somewhere and eating a certain delicacy, but becoming long and deep, learning to experience the sweat of paying, and not seeing the return in time, but suddenly finding out one day a few years later that he has come a long way.
It was almost time for the holidays, and the assistant baby cleaned the office inside and out.
Then he sighed a little proudly and said, "This carpet is put together by us, and each of the glue blankets is our choice." ”
It's been a long time! Witnessing the little friends step by step to the present, it is like watching a seed sprouting.
Before indulging in seeing myself in the TV, seeing my own appearance reports, two or three minutes of news broadcast, is very obvious and straightforward happiness.
And now, when I start to learn, I don't know what the future will be like at the moment of paying, there is no news broadcast that I see, there is no definite result, there is no clear goal, it is a goal that is adjusted all the time.
At first, I felt that such a life was full of uncertainty. For a moment, I felt that it was no wonder that the elders were obsessed with the two very magical words of "stability".
But it turns out that the uncertainty of life fascinates us deeply because we always have hope for the future.
Hope, big and small.
It is precisely because we do not know what the future holds that I have the deepest hope for the future.
There are things that I want to do, I am willing to pay the most sweat to try to achieve them, and I have the greatest patience to wait for a small seedling to sprout, learn to wait for the beauty, and do not rush to the immediate return that those children want.
Then you will find that it is those deep and shallow hopes that we can finally live a taste of what seems ordinary and trivial.
05
Man lives by many, many hopes.
We've all had moments of depression, feeling abandoned by the world, or sometimes going through a storm and not knowing when it's going to stop.
Many readers have asked me how to get through the confusion period, and if I get through the low tide period, it is actually to see if you can always hold out hope.
You have to know, "Storms have storms that are good." Storms pass, there are storms past good."
As long as you can hold your breath, as long as you have hope, and feel that you are like 18 years old, some time to do what you like, and some time to meet people you like.
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