Saturday, January 1, 2022 Sunny

Saturday, January 1, 2022 Sunny

On January 1, 2022, the whole country celebrated and celebrated New Year's Day.

I originally wanted to use New Year's Day to invite my classmates to get together and reminisce about the past; I originally wanted to take advantage of the festival to meet and chat with my friends; I originally wanted to manipulate the holiday, recharge my strength, and enjoy life...

But I didn't expect that you came uninvited, which made my heart full of uneasiness...

My husband is very worried, his hair is white early, and although there are no wrinkles on his face, he is full of vicissitudes. Even so, he still worries about me, worries about my health, worries about my safety...

That's why I met you unexpectedly...

At about 6 p.m. on December 28, 2021, Mr. Suddenly sent a message to me: Is the thyroid nodule a single or multiple. I'm a rough person, and I really didn't look closely at the summer vacation medical report. If you don't care, you won't pay attention, and you won't pay attention to it. Seeing that I did not reply to the message, the gentleman initiated a voice, and his words were full of anxiety: "If it is one, we have to review it again, after all, the last Liaocheng inspection has been 4 months." "I don't remember, I went to study late, let's go home and talk about it."

My heart is full of unhappiness, I forgot about this little thing, why am I poking and teasing again?! Who wants to go to that part of the hospital, it's not a good thing to go, I don't want to hear any bad news anymore.

When he returned home from the evening self-study, he found out the inspection report, found the results of the summer vacation Liaocheng thyroid examination, and when he saw that it was one, he decided to go to Liaocheng for review and use the New Year's Day holiday. My expression was painful, a hundred unhappiness in my heart, for the hospital, the painful memories are difficult to dissolve, and I never want to step into it for half a step in this life. What's more, for nodules and fibroids, I have long been left behind. But he stirred up when I had long forgotten, evoking my unbearable past, making me feel fearful, and I deserved to die! But I can't help him, after all, I'm not really stupid, I know he's for my own good.

So before I got up in the morning, I made an online appointment for registration, and then drove to Liaocheng and waited in line. The corridor was full of people, with different expressions and concerns. In such a depressing environment, I try to calm myself and relax myself. I wanted to pull out the book in my backpack and read it, but I felt very different, seemed out of place, and even a little confused, so I had to give up.

The waiting time is always long, but finally it is my turn, and I am relieved and walk into the B ultrasound room with no expression on my face... Got the results after 10 minutes and didn't feel good.

My husband and I took the B ultrasound report to the doctor to see. The doctor looked at the results and told me, "It's not a big deal, don't worry about being afraid." I let out a long breath: "Scared me to death!" As a result, the doctor made an unfinished business, and then added: "But this aspect ratio is greater than 1, and the boundary is somewhat blurred, and these two results are not very good." "The heart I just let go of was suddenly suspended in mid-air again!" You don't have to be afraid, even the worst outcome, you don't have to worry. Because this is the laziest cancer, it generally does not spread, does not endanger life, does not affect life, and is cut to the end. The female doctor patiently comforted and encouraged me, and the face was pleasant, tepid, and gave me a cool and calm heart. At that moment, I thought she was the most beautiful doctor in the world, and I had never seen a doctor so patient and understanding. "Wait twenty days, check it out after the holiday, don't get in the way?" "Don't get in the way, it grows very slowly, and it will be reviewed after 3 months." "Also, the blood test results are fine, if there is something wrong, you have to go, I can't let you go."

2009 surgery, 2019 surgery, this 2022 just started, I won the lottery again?! God treats me so well, do you want to be a high official? Temper me like this! I really don't want anyone to know, and I don't want my colleagues to know. Didn't want them to come to see me again, they had already seen me twice and didn't want to bother them anymore. At that moment, it was decided that the winter vacation would be over.

Coming out of the clinic, there was no imaginary fear, why? It seems to be because too many misfortunes have occurred recently: a friend with breast cancer, but the operation was successful, and he lived a normal life; a relative with breast cancer, but delayed treatment, died not long ago; some people can't sleep, without warning, but they are unusually determined... The brain is very messy, I don't know what it tastes like, I can't say it clearly, I don't know it, anyway, I don't know. The gentleman looked at me silently and began to nagging, he would not comfort people, the words spoken were all accusations in my opinion, I looked at him: "Can you make me quiet for a while?" Only then did he close his mouth. Sitting in a rest chair, surrounded by all the hustle and bustle, my mind blank, feeling tired, and wanting to sleep. Smile in your heart: You can fall asleep! However, the thought of wanting to sleep became more and more intense, so I closed my eyes, and I seemed to be really asleep in a daze, because I felt much more relaxed when I opened my eyes.

And the gentleman seemed to explode when he heard the result, called this, called that, asked all kinds of questions, and seemed to have not stopped. And has always been firmly stated: no surgery, the operation hurts too much. In the panic, he immediately wanted to take me to Shijiazhuang, looking for the magic doctor Huo Chunqiao in his eyes (it seems to be these words), according to him, this doctor is good at rubbing his abdomen, and he has seen many cancer patients. Saying that he was going to leave immediately and take me to Shijiazhuang, he was very eager and emotional between words. He was still talking on the phone, playing, playing until the end, slowly calming down, and his mood tended to stabilize.

I understand his anxiety and worry, entering middle age, he is extremely hard. Either take me to see a doctor, or take his mother to see a doctor, or even take my mother to see a doctor, go from place to place to seek medical treatment, and I am the one who is frequently in the situation, how can he not worry. Even though he said every time, it's okay, I'm not worried. But his words, emotions, and expressions betrayed him without scruples, and his gray hair often stood up to anxiety. Although I don't know his specific psychology, I know his hardships, understand his hard work, and know his fatigue, and this scene can only say: Hard work, it is really difficult for you! Sometimes I even think that if I am diagnosed, I will leave him and not want to drag him down. Maybe it's just my wishful thinking!

On the way back, didn't want to talk, was depressed. At that moment, it was clear that people really lived with a breath of spirit, and once the spirit collapsed, they could not lift the spirit of anything. I still have a 90-year-old mother to take care of, my precious son has not yet established a family, and my husband still needs my company, how can I be so decadent?! I cheered myself up. There are several classmates and colleagues who have this disease, A is in Liaocheng to take a good class, B is also safe in Jinan, C has a successful career in Shijiazhuang... They are all living well, why can't I? Thinking more, gradually numbing, dull, and brave enough to face.

When I got home, my friend Hou came to see me. The moment I saw her, the tears fell involuntarily and hugged her tightly. She comforted me, encouraged me, and spoke of the suffering and pain she had suffered. Along the way we fought side by side, we were all giants who had risen from suffering... With the warm company of my friends, my suffering and uneasiness gradually faded, and the courage to face the disease surged more and more...

At night, I thought I couldn't sleep, but I fell asleep. Woke up two or three times during the night, and after a brief mess, fell asleep again. I have no heart and no lungs, in the face of illness, I am still quite powerful!