Late at night Dad called me, I didn't expect to hear your bad news.
It was almost midnight, and Dad knew I had a habit of staying up late, but he rarely called so late.
A while ago, my father said to me, 'Grandpa's body hurts so much these days that he may be dying.'"
But I never expected it to be so sudden.
I didn't expect that I wouldn't even see the last of you.
I was on the other side of the phone, suddenly there was no sound, I stayed there for a while, I grew up with a smooth ride, and I never thought about what it was like to have a loved one around me leave one day.
Dad knew that when I was a child, I was closest to you, and when they had difficulty in doing business, I was the one you took to finish elementary school.
But when I heard the news, I didn't shed any tears.
I don't know if I subconsciously feel that although you are gone, the life around you is no different.
It wasn't until I got home that I slowly learned from everyone how hard you were in the last days.
During that time, the disease tore up your weak body little by little, and Dad said that in your last two months, you almost never slept a good night's sleep, and you couldn't sleep in pain, but you always carried it hard.
The most painful time is that one day you can't stand the pain, in the middle of the night you called your father over, took the ice in the refrigerator and stuck it to your stomach, let the body cool down, you will feel better.
Dad said grandma left early, you leaned on a dilapidated tricycle alone, every day a person from day to night, early to sell vegetables to pull him up.
Dad said he had never admired anyone in his life, just you.
When I was a child, the happiest thing was that every summer vacation, without the constraints of study and parents, I could go to the countryside of Tiannanhaibei to play with you.
At that time, I didn't understand how to call you "old man", and my father once heard me scolded me, and I said that the children in the village called you that way.
In the middle of the summer day, we cool out in the woods together, you will move a chair to take a nap, put a hat on your face, and I, not pulling branches everywhere, or playing with mud, digging up horse honeycombs, is really happy.
In the evening, when the sun is less intense, you go to work in the fields, and I will ask to go along with it to help, in fact, to be precise, I am going to make trouble.
I remember once, I plucked a lot of turnips, those radishes have not yet grown, you planted hard, but you are not angry at all.
Dad later knew that he was going to beat me, but you stopped me, you said, a few turnips, and the child can't do anything.
Yes, you gave me the greatest love and tolerance, but you were harsh on yourself.
You work hard to sell vegetables, but save money to save, every year during the Spring Festival to give you a New Year's greeting, you will wrap me a big red envelope, but you yourself wear patched clothes all year round.
Old man, I really regret going to college so far away, I remember when I applied for the school, took the first place in the class, and got the admission letter, you were so happy.
You said that as long as it is your favorite school, it is okay to be far away from home, and the young man will go out more.
But you know, I didn't see you one last time.
Dad called me and asked me to come back right away, but there was no direct flight that night. Later I had to rush to buy a train ticket, a six-and-a-half-hour drive, and I don't know how I got back.
I didn't cry when I got the call, and I didn't cry after a few hours of driving.
But when I came home and saw your portrait, and saw that you could no longer open your eyes, I could no longer control my tears.
The uncle told me that before you left, you had been holding on and refusing to close your eyes, and had to wait for me to come back, and then my father said, "Xiao tong is very good, you can rest assured", and you finally closed your eyes.
You are waiting for me, waiting to see your grandson for the last time.
But I still couldn't catch up.
Rest assured, I will read well.
You have worked hard all your life, and finally you have been tormented by illness, and now you can finally rest well.
But I knew that the voice on the other end of the phone, I could no longer hear.
I have heard that in this lifetime, a person will die three times.
The first time, it is your heart that stops, your body fails, and you are biologically declared dead; the second time, when you are buried, people attend your funeral, they declare that all your relationship with this society will cease to exist;
And the third death, the last person in the world to remember you, forgets you, so that the whole world has no connection with you, and your shadow will completely disappear.
I will always remember you until the memory of love fades.
I miss the egg fried rice you made when I was a child, and I miss your strong back.
Heavy nine clouds, far away from the dust. The grace of nurturing is difficult to repay.
May you rest in peace in heaven.