Text/Yi Juan
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In life, everyone wants to get better and better.
People are used to using a sentence as their wish that began a year ago: "Meet a better self." ”
As the name suggests, to meet a better self is to change and grow.
Lin Weixian, a Chinese lecturer, has said a sentence that has influenced many people: "If things are going to change, then I have to change first." ”
So, to change and grow, first of all, we have to change ourselves, to grow, not to wait too much for external forces to push or so-called good luck to come.
How to make yourself change, different people have different answers, but people who can really change themselves and continue to grow themselves have these characteristics: self-confidence, love and action.
Be confident and believe that you can change
Turgenev said, "Believe in yourself before others believe in you." ”
Yes, growing up and meeting a better self has nothing to do with age, it's not about gender. No matter who it is, with self-confidence, it can be put into action, continue to grow, and achieve a meaningful life.
The writer Hongdan once said: "Everyone can't stop growing up at any time." ”
Grandma Moses, who lives in the American countryside, raised 10 children and spent most of her life on the farm, living a housewife life. It wasn't until she became a great-grandmother that she had her own time, starting to paint at the age of 76 and holding several exhibitions at the age of 80, leaving behind more than 1,600 works.
She wrote her thoughts into the book "Life Never Begins Too Late", some of her paintings can reach 100,000 US dollars, her influence has also reached the world from the United States, and at the age of 100, New York State named her birthday "Moses Grandma Day".
Grandma Moses said, "Do what you love, and God will gladly open the door to success for you." ”
There is a "self-justifying prophecy" effect in psychology that impressed me deeply. This means that sometimes, if we think in our own hearts that we can do it, we can really do it.
In reality, such magical effects are also often seen.
In the writing community I have been in, there is a sister of Ledu, who is in her 60s, retired, at home with her granddaughter, and also takes care of her old mother who is paralyzed in bed, but these do not make her satisfied with the status quo, just be like this, she wants to meet a better self.
She joins the writing community and learns writing skills. Here, she jumps into the game, actively participates in activities, conscientiously completes homework, deliberately practices reading and writing, and actively interacts with young friends and empowers each other.
It turns out that she met a better version of herself, reading regularly, writing and listening to book manuscripts, running book clubs... Now, she's a multi-platform contracted author and hired as a reviewer for book manuscripts... Her experience sharing has also influenced the growth of more people.
Love is the driving force behind our change
Romain Rolland said: "True, eternal, and supreme happiness can only be attained from three things: work, self-control, and love." ”
I think that the love we are talking about here includes loving ourselves, loving others, and also loving.
Perhaps, believing in yourself, accepting and appreciating yourself is the most basic form of loving yourself, and meeting a better self is the highest goal of loving yourself.
To love yourself, you must perceive your inner needs and feelings, and satisfy yourself through actions, so as to experience the happiness brought by life and work, such as: do what you want to do, do what you like, wear your favorite clothes, participate in your favorite entertainment activities, and so on.
The famous writer Mr. Hinohara Shigeaki, who lived to the age of 106, completed the book "Live Well" near the end of his life. In the book, about love, he says, "Loving and being loved are the energy source of my life." ”
He believes that "in order to love, you must first love yourself." He tells an impressive story in the book:
The famous Italian mezzo-soprano singer Fiorentza Corsoto, when he first appeared on stage, always worried that he would not be accepted by the audience.
And once the actor begins to worry, even if he suspects that one of the thousands of viewers does not like him, he may be momentarily distracted and play abnormally.
She often struggles with this, and suddenly one day she realizes that to win the love of the entire audience, the actor must thank everyone present from the bottom of his heart.
Since then, whenever she stepped on the stage, she imagined how to convey the idea of "I love you" to everyone present, and she believed that through the idea, she could convey gratitude to the audience.
Corsoto has maintained this practice, she blends joy and sorrow with the role she plays, and conveys love to the audience, so that her performances can always move the audience, and her artistic life continues until the age of 75.
As the saying goes, "To give is to get".
Love can make us more powerful to love ourselves, to act, to change. Altruism makes us warm and happy inside, and we will also be calm in our hearts, and we will move forward more firmly towards the goal and act more strongly.
Only action will really change
I like a saying: "Only dreams can make us anxious, and only action can relieve anxiety." ”
We want to change, only self-confidence, love, is far from enough to achieve our goals, more important is to build on this basis of continuous action.
World champion Deng Yaping, after retiring, she did not lie on the merit book to sleep, she did not stay in the talented table tennis field, she had greater expectations for herself, she chose to go to Tsinghua University to study.
Transformed into a student, she started everything from scratch and was introduced to new knowledge with curiosity. In terms of study, she is serious and hardworking, diligent and inquisitive, and her kung fu pays off, and she has achieved excellent results.
After graduating from Tsinghua University, she continued her studies and eventually obtained a doctorate from Cambridge University. Since then, Deng Yaping has no longer only had the "label" of world champion, but has more new identities, entrepreneurs, hosts... She met a better version of herself.
Xiaoxue, a young man I know, is the mother of two girls, she worked in the countryside for 20 years before 2021, and her biggest wish is to be transferred back to the city to work and accompany her children.
In the past few years, she has been saying to herself: "No way, there is no one in our family, we can't find a relationship, just stay at ease!" "She didn't do anything about it.
An epidemic in 2020 made her take a long vacation and return to her children, but the constraints of life made her anxious.
She began to look for a part-time job online, writing monetization attracted her, it happened that she had long had the idea of improving her writing skills, she immediately moved, joined the community learning, to use writing to change herself, transferred back to the city to work. She set herself the frequency of success.
Since then, she has completely changed, taking care of her children, devoting herself to the process of learning and practicing, and her life has become full and self-disciplined, and she has constantly written works. In February 2021, she was transferred back to work in the city.
"When I made up my mind to change, the whole universe came to help me," she said. ”
Yes, the real change comes from the beginning of the action.
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Mr. Paul Mahr once said: What you clearly foresee, what you fervently desire, what you sincerely pursue, and what you strive for wholeheartedly will come naturally.
Meeting a better self is everyone's desire for self-growth. Self-growth begins with self-change, believing in ourselves, giving love, and continuing to act to make us change and meet a better version of ourselves
So, when we meet a better version of ourselves, we start with confidence, love, and sustained action.