"For a long time, I thought he might still be thinking about me. After a while, however, I had to admit that all along, he cared only about my portrait, not me. ”
This sentence is from the novel "The Girl with the Pearl Earring", and the author used the painting of the same name as inspiration to write an ambiguous love story.
Adapted from a novel, the film tells the story of the young maid Gretel who falls in love with the talented painter Vermeer, and the beauty of the young girl is also deeply attracted to this painter.
Love breeds wildly in the dark, and lust also spreads silently in the heart of the girl.
However, Vermeer has a wife.
In this platonic love, people are lamenting the love of the girl and the painter, and regretting a missed love.
It was as if they were the protagonists of the story, and the painter's wife was just an ugly woman who was jealous.
She did not understand her husband's pursuit of art, why a painting should be painted for half a year or even a year, she only cared about whether the painting could be sold and how long the family's money could survive.
Here, I see a woman's sadness and helplessness.
Life makes her have to worry about money, and the oppression of reality makes her unable to understand her husband's love of art.
More importantly, she is no longer young and she is no longer attractive to her husband.
The whole film has no ups and downs, but it shows the cruelest side of marriage to the audience - how to maintain a loveless, sexless, and moneyless marriage?
Bavary Nix once compared marriage to a book: the first chapter is a psalm, while the rest is plain prose.
When the fierce passion faded, I don't know how many people lost to the chai rice oil and salt of life.
Some people say that marriage is a practice for two people, which requires the efforts and management of both parties.
It is true that the happiness of a marriage depends on both partners, but one person can make it fail.
Similarly, a good marriage also requires mutual respect, mutual understanding, and joint efforts to manage with heart.
Marriages that lack respect are doomed to collapse
The first time Gretel saw Vermeer's painting, she lost her mind.
Inspired by Vermeer, she developed a keen interest in light and gradually fell in love with and adored the man.
Vermeer loves art and loves to draw. He likes to observe the changes of things under different lights and shadows, and likes to see the different colors of clouds in the sky.
Everything changes in an instant, and it is fun for him.
His pleasure, Gretel tried to understand, to like.
In this way, emotions beyond the master and servant gradually developed between them.
And Mergy didn't understand, and never listened, and the paintings were just tools for selling money in her eyes.
Even in an argument, she lost her hand and destroyed her husband's work.
Since then, he has never been allowed to step into Vermeer's studio for half a step.
I know that someone once asked: What is the real discord between the three views?
One of them replied approvingly: You like to read, he likes to play games.
This is not called a disagreement between the three views.
You like to read books, he said what is the use of reading books, is not to pretend to be literary.
This is the disagreement of the three views.
The love of actors Liu Jialing and Liang Chaowei has been discussed by people to this day.
The biggest reason is that the woman is enthusiastic and outgoing, and likes to make friends lively.
And Liang Chaowei likes to stay in his own small world, so that he will feel relaxed.
Such two people with very different personalities have been together for more than twenty years.
In addition to love, there is also respect between them.
Not forcing the other party to do things that they don't like, and not denying the things that the other party pursues, is the greatest respect between husband and wife.
Respect is the first step in whether both parties communicate harmoniously in a marriage.
Rejecting intimacy is no less than a cold violence
Regarding the film, there is also a very secret topic: is love related to lust?
I thought, the answer is yes.
Mergy loves her husband, and she longs for him to kiss and touch her.
As she played the piano, Vermeer hugged her from behind and kissed her neck, and she felt happy.
This seductive scene was just seen by Gretel passing by.
Then there is the scene where Gretel kisses the butcher's son.
Gretel did not like the butcher's son, but she poured her lust for the painter into the man who liked her.
And when Vermeer had more contact with Gretel, his eyes were attracted to the beautiful girl.
At this time, he began to refuse his wife's request for a touch, and the failure to respond also made his wife flustered and unhappy.
The refusal of intimate contact between husband and wife is no less than a cold violence.
There is a clip in the American drama "Femme Fatale": Beth, as a housewife, recently found that her husband was less and less interested in herself.
To enhance her charm, she bought new clothes, a new hairstyle, and new nails, hoping her husband would notice.
Apparently, men didn't pay attention.
She tried to create fun for the marriage, but the other partner remained indifferent.
In fact, a hug between husband and wife, a holding hand, can make the other party feel a strong sense of love.
There is a saying in the TV series "Thirty Only": It is not life that belongs to the darkness, but people.
When Mergy rushed into her husband's studio and saw The portrait of Gretel, she said, "It's too filthy."
These four words vividly expound the anger and despair of a wife, and at the same time, the husband's insult to his wife.
Perhaps at this moment, she thought about her husband's previous rejection of her, but how to put on the earrings for this young girl.
A good marriage requires learning to be intimate and to manage intimate behaviors.
Even if there is only one hug.
The longevity of marriage has nothing to do with money
In the film, when Vermeer has a different affection for the maid, even the wife's mother acquiesces—the husband needs to give his wife's pearl earrings to Gretel to paint, and the mother secretly gives it to Gretel when her daughter is not at home.
A pair of pearl earrings, it is not only an ornament, but also a symbol of status as a hostess.
The mother secretly gave the earrings to the maid, but in fact acquiesced to her improper relationship with the painter.
The reason is simple, for money, for life.
I think my mother was also helpless.
But, are their quarrels just because of money?
I think it's more because of incomprehension and disrespect, and their quarrels are more because of the husband's preference for maids.
On May 4 of this year, Microsoft founder Bill Gates divorced his wife, Melinda, who had been with him for 27 years.
One is the world's top billionaire with a total value of $130.5 billion, ranking fourth in the world.
The other is forbes' top 6 for eight years on the Global Women's Power List, and one of the most influential women in the world today.
Some netizens joked: The world's richest man is divorced, what does it mean? Show that marriage and happiness are really not a matter of money!
It's a joke, but it's not unreasonable.
Shaw Bernard once said: There are two tragedies in life, one is that your desires are not satisfied, and the other is that your desires are satisfied.
Under desire, there is only endless desire.
Some people say that the reason why people are unhappy is because expectations are always a little higher than reality.
Deeply.
As Helen Keller wrote: Maybe people are like this, with things they don't know to appreciate, and what they don't have is blindly pursued.
See what you have, cherish what you have.
Marriage is like this, and so is life.
Encourage with the King.