"If. Love》
Text\ a dust of ink
A red sun sprinkled on the river, I stood by the river, looking at the rising sun, but there was no trace of joy in my heart. The numb soul blows against the Buddha, and the picture of the memory stops at that quarrel...
"Yang Fan, is it fun to deceive people?" I tore my lungs apart, but the tears silently slid down.
"The matter between the two of us, why do you want to go to my friend, why do things between us involve my friend" Yang Fan's peaceful tone has gradually become angry, "You are this way, I will never ignore you." ”
Yang Fan quickly cut off the phone. Pull into the blacklist. I pulled his phone again, but I couldn't get through.
Looking at the crowded station, wordless pain and anxiety, Yang Fan and I fell in love with spring, summer, autumn and winter. Points and combinations, there is always that affectionate traction for Yang Fan's heart, every time I silently accompany him, until Yang Fan, who has a sharp heart, calls out my name...
"If I was waiting for you"
For that sentence, regardless of the body, the self-esteem of all women has turned into affection, asking my heart, Yang Fan has been in my life, I cannot forget and give up, not in the distance of age, not in the gap between appearances, not in the temptation of wealth. Every sleepy point and blind spot in life? Yang Fan's heart and mouth can be understood, and his wise mind and talent make me impressed and admired. Rare encounters in his lifetime, similar temperament, three views are the same, he writes poetry, I write, the text looks for zhiyin. But his heart is no longer complete, fragmented thoughts, and the opposite sex is numerous, like a thorn in the heart, which is always stuck in my heart...
The rain was getting heavier and heavier, the noise of cars, the sounds of people, the sound of rain were woven together, people came and went, I didn't know where to go.
This time I was tired and felt particularly tired. The heart is completely withdrawn, like an empty shell tired, tired...
What is he hiding? What cheated? Two people in love, if there is no reciprocal pay? Is that still love? I don't know, despair overwhelms all expectations, making me numb and depressed...
Yang Fan and I met at a fraternity party. We live in Chongqing, I am in the south, he is in the north, a few bridges, a few mountains, a few cities. Chongqing is also called Mountain City.
The pace of life is too fast, the pressure is too heavy, and the space for survival is like a game. After Chongqing became a municipality directly under the central government, a large number of people from the north and south of the world poured into Chongqing, and in a short period of several years, hundreds of thousands of people poured in. Competition compresses life and work.
Rarely, 45 years old, there is no time for blind dates, let alone time for love. Graduated from college, worked in several companies, and now a group company in the city as an executive, remembering that I just came to this company from a small staff to a senior executive, that step is taken carefully, the personnel is complicated, and it is rare to have to devote yourself to the promotion step by step until now.
At a company meeting, I met Xiang Yun, who has a company in the north of the city that runs media. Several times of work relationships, we gradually became familiar with the work cooperation.
On that day, his birthday was related to the company's business cooperation. I was invited to Xiang Yun's birthday party.
In the hall full of high friends, I saw a familiar figure. Yang Fan and a few friends were chatting, and the calm heart suddenly surged with waves, and the voice of determination once again sounded in his ears.
I was about to get up and leave, and walked towards Yun Xiaoying: "Ruochu, come and introduce you to a few friends, they are a group of business elites, but also my hair small"
"Good," I said politely with a shallow smile.
Xiang Yun walked to the table: "Yang Fan came to introduce you to you, Xian Ruochu, the boss of the Ronglian Industrial Group Branch, my business partner"
Yang Fan's eyes were staring at me, and I smiled indifferently. Then Yang Fan stood up, took my hand with a look of displeasure and walked out of the hall. I wanted to break free of that hand, and the more I tried to break free, Yang Fan's big hand clenched tighter, and his hand hurt.
Yang Fan pulled me out of the hall in a hurry, passed a fountain, and pulled me behind a tall camphor tree.
"Let go of me, Yang Fan." Angry said.
"Xian Ruochu, what do you mean, let the whole world know?" What are you doing?"
"Yang Fan, what do I have in mind, I know Xiang Yun is just a matter of work?" I didn't know you were friends, hairy little ones who grew up together? Looking at the face that appeared in my mind day and night, tears blurred my vision: "Where is your heart?" Are you not deceiving me enough? While talking to me on the phone and talking about love, I am surrounded by lovers all over the mountains looking for romance! ”
"Ruochu, I hate that every time you speak to me in this tone, why is your heart disease so serious?" Don't challenge my blade in this way" Yang Fan shook my shoulders vigorously and stared at me angrily.
"Am I wrong? You've been with her for a few years! Why lie to me? I told you before! Do you have someone you love, tell me, I fulfill you? Don't lie to me! But what about you? You said you took a project in Wanzhou and you want to live there all the time? And your best friend told me! You have been in Yubei, I ask you, what are you and Zhang Susu? You have lived together for a few years, on the street you are like a couple going in and out, the city you live in says big and big, said small and small, but my friend just saw it? I looked at him with contempt, word for word.
"Ruochu, how much do you know about my reality?" Don't be so arbitrary? ”
"Am I arbitrary?" I laughed bitterly, "Yang Fan, you make me sick? I think you're dirty! I pushed him away and hurriedly grabbed the car keys from my bag. Pulled the car door open, started the car, and the tears could no longer be controlled! Silently sliding down, Yang Fan, why do you want to hurt me and lie to me? Why? I was driving, driving in traffic
……
I don't know when, the sky is twilight, the dark news is coming quickly, just now it was a golden sea of clouds, now it has become a gray-brown, hidden covering the earth. Traveling through the clouds, rushing all my life, and now I am tired of such wandering, heart and body fame and profit. Still in love? If love... I want to inhabit the valley to spend the night and let me forget! The sea of the night is lonely and silent...
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