Zhang Ailing said that every man will meet two women in his life.
One is a white rose and the other is a red rose; but over time, the white rose will turn into a rice sticky, and the red rose will turn into mosquito blood.
In a way, the "most loved woman" in a man's mind is not limited to one.
When he was single, he would miss his last relationship;
After getting married, he will have another woman in his heart who has once impressed him.
However, some men are accustomed to hiding this memory in their hearts and never mentioning it easily; some men confuse these memories with reality, and eventually lose the person who loves themselves and can't get the person they want in their hearts.
So, in a man's life, what kind of girl is what makes him think about it?
-01
A woman who was once deeply loved, but could not love
In feelings, love and must not often have two forms.
The first: deep love, but not get it
When the boy was young and vigorous, he also served as a "licking dog" for a period of time for a certain relationship and in order to pursue a certain girl.
Give a lot for each other, willingly, humble to the dust.
But in the end, the girl he liked didn't even want to look at him a few times, leaving him with a figure of "love and not to love".
When the feelings are in such a state, it is easy to stimulate the "desire to conquer" in men's hearts.
Although many years have passed, the man has everything, and there is still a figure in his heart, the person he wants to get but never gets.
But when he really came into contact with this girl again, he would find that what he had never forgotten was not her person, but his own obsession.
The second kind: the feeling of loving each other, but giving up halfway
The other kind of love that cannot be done is to love each other and be together.
But for various reasons, the two people could not go on.
After separation, the man cannot forget this relationship, although he himself is married and has children, and has a happy and happy family; however, in his heart, there is still a regret.
If there is none, if there is no, if you want to forget, you can't deceive yourself.
This reminds me of Love in The Time of Cholera.
The male and female protagonists in it have also fallen in love with each other, but because of the difference in conditions between men and women, they have not been able to come together in the end.
The girl was arranged by the family to marry, and the lives of the two people have since gone down different paths.
Many years have passed, when the male and female protagonists are old and old, the two people meet again and continue the unfinished feelings.
-02
A girl who has been hurt before
What a man can't forget is the girl he once hurt.
Have you noticed a phenomenon:
After a breakup, the girl often comes out of the shadows quickly; even if she is hurt in this relationship, she can get out of this shadow through new feelings.
And the boy is easy to fall into, even if he initiates the breakup.
Seeing that the ex has a good life, men are "indignant" in their hearts; seeing that the ex is not doing well, men feel "ashamed" in their hearts.
Men in the relationship, is such a contradiction.
He will never forget such a girl:
In his young years of having nothing, there was a girl who did not want his money, did not want his conditions, but only because of love and willingly suffered with him.
But later, he had everything, and the person around him was not the girl.
From the perspective of psychology, this is actually the "personal heroism" in men's hearts, just like the "maternal brilliance" of girls.
Men see the "weak", see the girl who once had a relationship with himself but have a bad life, it is always easy to feel pity, and want to become the "savior" in each other's life.
But such an idea is nothing more than his wishful thinking.
What is not obtained is always in turmoil, and those who are favored are fearless.
The feelings you get don't know how to cherish, but the feelings you don't get are remembered.
-03
The girl he "looks up to"
Lev. Tolstoy wrote this sentence:
"We like people not just because they're good to us, but because we're good to them."
In simple terms:
The more you give to a person, the easier it is to develop a good feeling for that person.
Because in the process of paying for the other party, you have invested a fairly high cost, which is called "sunk cost".
In feelings, people will also fall into such a strange circle.
Why can't men forget the girl?
Not because he loves this girl so much, but because men have given too much and invested too much in her.
When the sunk cost increases, it will make a deep impression on a person.
You have two pots of flowers at home.
A pot of flowers is planted by you from a seed, and you have taken good care of it for a long time before it blossoms;
Another pot of flowers, but a friend gave it to you.
The flowers that your friends gave you withered, and you wouldn't feel any pain, only a hint of regret.
And if your own carefully cultivated flowers wither, you will feel particularly sad, because you have put in so much effort that it seems to be in vain.
You see, in relationships, isn't that the same thing?
In a relationship, who pays the most, the more he can't let go.
Conversely, the more they enjoy, the more they don't care.
Today's Topic:
Is there someone in your heart that you can't forget?
(Article with picture source network)