"Isn't cohabitation just to do that?"

"Cohabitation" is a topic that is often mentioned in love, and I personally think that the meaning of its existence is to let a pair of young people with a high probability of marriage try and make mistakes in advance.

After all, marriage is a big deal, and trial and error before marriage can avoid risks.

Other things like that are definitely not the main purpose, especially the woman.

01

"Let's live together."

When I received this message, I was stunned, but in the end I hesitated and said "yes".

In fact, I don't understand the meaning of cohabitation at all, but everyone says that cohabitation is a proof of closeness, tacit understanding and mutual trust, as if it is a couple's must do when they are together.

Refusing to live together is like rejecting the closeness of your boyfriend.

So I moved in with my boyfriend of a year.

Let the other person enter their own lives and share their joys and sorrows, hobbies, lifestyles, and even privacy.

To be honest, the moment I agreed to live together, I didn't even think about what I would face next.

In the beginning, I rented a house with him.

After that, I moved into the home that belonged to the two of us.

On the first day I stepped into my new home, I was a little curious, after all, this was the first time I had lived with my lover.

When our luggage is packed and the room is full, the presence of the other party will have a real sense of reality--we really live together, he will occupy my living space, the spiritual space, and the first glance when I wake up and the last glance before going to bed will be him.

Although at first I was a little reluctant to live with him, not to reject him, but to think that it was easy to get tired of meeting feelings every day.

But because others have such a process of falling in love, they reluctantly agreed.

But when I tried to take the first step, it didn't feel like it was bad, and I couldn't help but fantasize about the days ahead.

That's when I curled my eyes at him: "Take care of it, boyfriend." ”

02

But all my fantasies, the first night we spent together, were shattered.

When we were lying in the same bed, no one spoke first, and the room was quiet and awkwardly quiet.

I was just about to say goodnight, but there was movement on the other side—he rolled over and hugged me firmly.

I was trapped in this solid embrace, and there was a momentary blankness in my mind. After the reaction, I thought he was trying to sleep with me in his arms, so I hugged him back a little jerkily.

The hug brought us closer together, and then he started kissing me deeply.

It didn't happen at first, until his hand touched my chest and I jerked him away like a fried cat.

I responded with a particularly loud response and asked, "What are you doing?!" ”

He got up and looked at me curiously: "Don't you do it?" ”

I'm a somewhat conservative person who can't accept irresponsible premarital sex, and the family doesn't even have condoms.

"Didn't you agree to live together?"

"Couples living together are like this, don't you know?"

"You don't want to do it, and you want to sleep with me?"

The successive questions seemed to be cold water pouring over my head, pouring me full of disappointment.

It turned out that in his eyes, cohabitation was a kind of acquiescence for adults.

So from the moment I agreed to live together, I was just sending myself to the door in a daze.

03

That night I decided to break up with him, and when he sincerely came to me to apologize and ask for reconciliation, I was a little soft again.

I told myself that cohabitation is a process of running into it all the time, isn't it?

So I gave him a chance, but this time I made a request: "I don't do it, I don't want to sleep in the same bed as you." Cohabitation is OK, but split rooms. ”

At first, he was still struggling: "Everyone else lives together and sleeps together, what do you mean by sharing a room?" Want to break up? ”

I suddenly thought it was funny.

I used to use others as an example, thinking that cohabitation was because I wanted to be a part of each other's lives, but in the end he said that cohabitation was because I wanted to do it.

I also thought that the separation of the room was the breakdown of the relationship, but now it seems that the separation of the room may be able to save our relationship.

I told him, "I don't know how it's like for someone else to live together, and if you want to continue our relationship, split up." ”

Finally he reluctantly agreed, and then he continued to deal with it.

But since such a conflict arose, the contradictions between us have increased.

He often used things and did not put them back in place, went to the toilet without flushing, and did not take a shower for several days, all of which I endured.

I helped him take care of his mess like a babysitter, but he bit me back.

He stayed up all night every day, so loud that I could hear him every room, and I couldn't bear to knock on his door.

"Go to bed early, it's bothering me." As a result, he said I was in trouble. He hated me for losing my hair all the time, so I helped sweep the floor.

"This month you should use more water, we said good AA, but I didn't use much, if you want to count my money, it's not good."

I just felt numb after listening to it, and this month I had seen his harsh nature.

The water was actually used to help him wash his clothes, but I didn't refute it, I said, "I'll pay for it."

After clearing the month's accounts, I left the house.

I messaged him: "You don't have to pay me back the rent for two months, and then you can find someone else." ”

04

It wasn't a very good experience, but thankfully because of the cohabitation, I saw him clearly.

He didn't like me, he just wanted to do it.

So he tempted me and asked me if I wanted to live together.

But agreeing to live together should not have been for that file, but for the sake of loving each other better.

Cohabitation is not the occurrence of default sexual behavior, if a boy does not ask after cohabitation, you will acquiesce, you can let him roll, because this is disrespectful.

Cohabitation can indeed get to know each other better, but before that, please first think about why you want to live together, and whether there is a need for cohabitation.

After living together, whether you can accept the lack of space in body and mind, and discuss whether the other party can accept that one day you will have to separate the room.

Cohabitation is ok, but don't make decisions rashly, and don't follow the trend, thinking that cohabitation is a must, because cohabitation depends on different circumstances.

Don't be afraid that refusing to live together will affect your feelings.

Because people who really care about you have a thousand ways to follow and step into your circle, true intimacy never needs to be proven by cohabitation.

And if you really live together, girls should protect themselves well, and don't agree to all requests because the other party is your object.

Article Author: Line 2