I have focused on the sensible side of Cancer, and I have also analyzed the side of Cancer, hoping to express the entanglement and contradictions in Cancer's heart.
But it was found that this could not solve the problem at all, and when the cancer should be done, it still had to be done, and the other party still did not know how to coax the cancer.
Today, we will analyze around this point how Cancer fell into that state.
First of all, the first question is whether Cancer is uncontrollable or awake when it starts to work.
Although I couldn't feel the picture as a Cancer, I still felt that Cancer should be awake in the beginning.
Because Cancer's behavior is not to say angry words, to speak harshly, but to show a kind of indifference, and it is deliberate, the kind that wants the other party to see it.
That is to say, in the beginning, Cancer did not reach the point where it could not control itself, but because it was wronged, angry, in a bad mood, and in the wrong mood, it wanted to show this feeling, convey it to the other party, and see if the other party would care and how it would be handled.
In this state, Cancer is sensitive and rational, and he will constantly capture every word and deed of the other party and string them together for analysis.
It's not that Cancer is there every day thinking, "Does he love me or not, does he really care about me?" ”
Instead, after experiencing some bad things, Cancer sensed the other party's distraction, so as to deliberately create contradictions, express his grievances and disappointments, and then continue to observe what the other party was thinking.
Even at this point, I still think that this is the sensible side of Cancer.
Because he always felt that he could not blame the other party without evidence, but not replying to the news yesterday, not finding anyone the day before yesterday, and releasing pigeons at dinner today, this is not something that happens without reason.
But Cancer can't express grievances because of these things. Therefore, he will deliberately look for contradictions in other frictions.
Can you appreciate this mentality?
It is when Cancer will do it, in fact, his heart is already full of grievances, and he will throw his face and lose his temper because of some small things.
And his purpose is only to let the other party prove that he still cares about himself, and he can coax himself to be good.
Because he knows that the grievance is his own conjecture, he wants to coax himself to be good.
Although most of the contradictions between the two people are provoked by Cancer, most of the contradictions are also suppressed by Cancer itself.
And mediating with yourself is a very tiring thing, because you have to constantly comfort yourself in constant doubt, to find reasons for the other party, so Cancer will need the affirmation and firmness of the other party even more.
Herein lies the problem.
If you see the other person's denial and lack of firmness, Cancer will quickly explode in mentality.
This will make him feel particularly wronged, particularly humble, and begin to lose his mind.
I am constantly running into changes for the future of two people here, making way for love, but the other party does not take himself at all, does not take this future seriously, so why should he suffer such grievances.
What really got Cancer out of control was never because of what was said, what happened.
But through this, Cancer saw the other side's wavering.
Although everyone will be a little disappointed to see each other wavering, Cancer will be more sensitive, more sensitive, and more pessimistic because of this.
For example, your mentality has changed, some of them have begun to be perfunctory, and you may not find yourself deserting until a month later, and Cancer has been wronged for a month.
So by the time the conflict really broke out, it would be impossible to communicate well with Cancer.
Because you may just realize that something seems to be wrong with two people, and Cancer realizes that two people may have no future...
Losing your mind is not because of some small friction in life, but because you suddenly find that there is no future, and you suddenly feel that nothing is meaningful.
What's the point of communication now? Is it really too late to change now? What if they are reconciled? Or will you break up because of the same problem?
It's really not that Cancer can't listen to the truth, but that he really can't control this pessimism.
It's not that he doesn't want you, he doesn't want the feelings anymore, it's that he doesn't want anything anymore...
If you can understand the resolution and pain of Cancer's innermost contradictions through this passage, you should be able to understand what I have said countless times, coaxing Cancer and giving Cancer a sense of security must be the details and patience.
If you can do it, Cancer says "I want to eat rock sugar gourds" in the morning, and you will bring him a string when you leave work at night, and Cancer will not be aggrieved to lose control and then get into conflict with you.
If you can do it, stay with Cancer when he is in a bad mood and can't control himself, no matter what he says or not to leave, when he eases up, he will definitely hold you tightly.
What Cancer wants is really simple.
He needs to be constantly affirmed, constantly feeling that the future of two people will get better and better. Then he will feel that all his efforts are worth it, and he will not feel that he is very wronged. Any moment the other person wants to leave, it will upset this balance.
Sensitive and delicate people will naturally crave more pampering.
It's not so much that Cancer likes to do it, but rather that Cancer can't do love in the moment.
Cancer's love, in the future.