The younger brother has two babies, the eldest is the older sister, and the second is the younger sister.
When we have dinner together, we always say: Why is there such a big difference between your two children?
The most common scenarios in the home are:
After the conflict between the sisters, the sister was furious and rushed to the crown, but the sister thought of ways to "please" the sister.
One is that it is easy to get angry, and the other is that the mouth is really sweet.
Obviously, they were born to the same parents, but the children's personalities and life directions are very different.
The parent circle of the second child has always been popular
"The eldest takes care of the book, and the second takes care of the pig"
But you can raise it, but you find that:
The boss who is raised according to the book,
Developed into a "stupid son of a landlord's family";
And the second eldest who raised pigs,
But it is a small devil, and it is incredibly shrewd!
What exactly affects the difference in children?
1. Parental experience
When there is an older, the parents are new mothers, so for the parents, most of them are nervous, anxious and cautious. This nervous and anxious mood will also spread to the boss, and the boss's growth will not be so easy. It is no exaggeration to say that many bosses are experimental products for novice parents, and there is a joke that raising the boss is like playing a game to raise the number, and the boss has upgraded enough equipment to re-create a trumpet training.
2. Parental attention
Many parents say that with the second treasure I want a bowl of water to be flat, but as long as there is a gap in the age of the two children, it is impossible to do it.
After all, the boss can already run and jump, the second is still swaddled, not even the ability to take care of himself, how can parents not pay attention to the second?
This attention is easy to ignore the feelings of the boss, and in the eyes of the boss, it is the birth of the younger brother (sister) that robs him of his attention and love.
3. Parents have a reference
When the eldest was born, he was a child in the family, with no experience to refer to, and the relationship with his parents was in the stumbling block.
The second is different, whether in terms of maintenance or education, the eldest is the reference for the second elder to raise. At the same time, under the leadership of the boss, the second brother will learn various skills faster, so the second brother looks faster and more pleasing than the old university.
4. The psychology of the boss
In the book "Child, Give Me Your Hand", I shared such a case:
Couple A gave birth to their second eldest, Skipper, when their daughter Patty was more than one year old.
Skipper is weaker than his sister. Dad looked forward to having a strong boy, so he couldn't hide his disappointment in his son.
Patty felt it all. She began to show her agile, strong, and energetic side in front of her parents, consciously or unconsciously.
Competitive and likes to compete for the first place. Strive to meet parental standards everywhere.
The brother Su Mingzhe in "All Is Good" is a typical example of a boss.
As the eldest in the family, he met the needs and expectations of his parents from a young age, and was the "perfect child" who satisfied his parents in all aspects.
He is willing to take on family responsibilities and loves to educate his younger siblings in a condescending manner.
The mantra is: "You've let me down too much." ”
But in fact, he did not have an easy life.
Even if he is fired by the company, he will not condescend to the nobility and do manual labor.
After relying on his sister Su Mingyu to secretly help find a new job, he immediately promised to buy a three-bedroom house for the father of the giant baby.
His wife fell out with him and refused to back down.
Why?
Only when maintaining the illusion of "I am excellent and live up to expectations" can the boss feel good. It is also an unspeakable sore spot for many children in the rankings.
Moms, how many children do you have in your family? If there are two, is the second brother more pleasing than the boss?
In short, no matter who is big and who is small, who is long and who is short, every child is a unique angel of motherhood.
The weight of each baby is the same in the mother's heart.
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