In real life, people who know how to flatter others often do not "show the mountains and dew", but compliments are just right, such people, their luck is mostly not too bad.
Although flattery and compliment are not good qualities, they are a skill for people to live in the world.
People who master this technique are often more likely to be left and right, invincible, and even soaring. On the contrary, people who cannot identify with or master this skill will mostly be thankless, have obstacles everywhere, and even put themselves in a difficult situation.
It can be seen that knowing how to be flattered and being able to flatter is not necessarily a bad thing.
So, how to flatter others so that people will not be disgusted?
In fact, flattering others has the following three logics, namely:
First, do what you like
In life, almost everyone will have some preferences, and these preferences are often one of the biggest weaknesses in people.
For example, some people like to study "Dream of the Red Chamber", so they love the ancient books of more than two thousand yuan; some people like to play with audio, and a CD of more than five hundred yuan is willing to start; some people like to drink, and they must get drunk whenever they drink, etc. To some extent, these are not only preferences, but also a weakness, just like the ancients said that "there is something good on the top, and there will be evil on the top, and it will be abandoned at the bottom".
The implication is that to flatter the logic of others, you should understand the other party's preferences, rather than blindly complimenting, otherwise, it is easy to make the other party resentful, and the gain is not worth the loss.
It can be seen from this that the premise of flattering others is that the first logic is that it is necessary to know how to do what they like—it can even be said that people who do not know how to vote for others cannot really know how to flatter others.
Second, willing to put down their own figure
The so-called "put down the body" is actually to put down the shelf and not put up the shelf.
For example, we often talk about "face", or we are very concerned about what others think of us, so that we refuse to do something that we want to do or that is beneficial to ourselves.
Such a person, of course, cannot please or flatter others.
Conversely, those who are willing to let go of their own stature often know better about the logic of flattering others and are able to achieve their own goals through flattery.
Therefore, from this point of view, "willing to let go of oneself" is also the second logic of flattering others.
Third, have ulterior motives and seek benefits
In general, people who often flatter others are mostly ulterior motives, or rather, for some kind of benefit.
Further, flattery itself is only a means, not an end.
By implication, people who really know how to flatter others only use flattery as a tool to use, rather than flattery for the sake of flattery—such people are actually very clear about the difference between flattery itself and purpose.
Those who do not understand flattery tend to confuse flattery with purpose and unanimously deny it.
It can be seen that having ulterior motives and seeking benefits is actually another logic of flattering others.
So, in summary, these contents are actually the three logics we talk about flattering others, and I hope you have them.
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The materials in this article are mainly quoted from the Analects, Zhuangzi, Tanjing, Tao Te Ching, Temporary Sitting, Dream of the Red Chamber, Wasted Capital, Walking Alone, Philosophical Thoughts on Life, Plato So To Say, History, The Complete Works of Wang Yangming, Huayan Jing, University, Li Ji, Tiandao, Sun Tzu's Art of War, Wang Biji's Interpretation, Zhou Yi, And The Book of Poetry