It's good to take the initiative to read | at night

1

I don't know if you will be like this: if others don't come to say hello, they will never know others; take the initiative to confess? As long as the other party does not break it, he must hide it... Many people always hope that the other party will see what is going on, but they did not expect to not only lose more and more, but also push the people around them farther and farther.

I'm ashamed to say, I'm such a person.

A friend I have known for many years lamented to me: After knowing me for so many years, you have never taken the initiative to call me or send me a message, and every time I look for you first. I was not convinced, flipped through the chat history on the spot, and was surprised to find that I had really never taken the initiative to find him once.

Obviously, I want to say something to the other party, but I always ask myself first: Is he free now? Will the TA be interested? Under the pressure of self-doubt, any impulse to take the initiative to say something becomes excited.

Some people are too concerned about their influence on others, and often read the other party's reactions too much, so that they can't be themselves frankly. Such a person is cautious and cares about the eyes of others, but is accustomed to denying himself before being evaluated. This kind of self-denial often pushes the other person farther and farther away.

2

Once, in a conversation with another friend, she talked about competing for a department manager at the company.

She was the most competitive candidate, but when the boss asked who was interested in competing at the meeting, she couldn't open her mouth anyway. She said that she knew that the opportunity was rare, but she couldn't stop the hesitation in her heart: What if I didn't do it well? What will others think of me? Will anyone be unconvinced?

After the boss encouraged her to take the initiative several times without success, he simply appointed her directly. In this way, she actually hesitated for two days before accepting the position that she had longed for for a long time. She has been in office for three years now, doubling the performance of the entire department.

Many people can't understand the arrogance of friends. But I couldn't be clearer, what she wants is to be "driven to the shelves", so as to save a lot of unnecessary self-doubt, even if it is not done well, she can also use a sentence of "I can't do it" to comfort herself.

Over time, this will solidify into a perception: as long as I take the initiative to come, I will fail; as long as I passively accept it, I will be able to make good results. The psychology of preferring to miss rather than make mistakes has become a stumbling block for many people to move forward.

3

I know that many people feel safe not to take the initiative, so they will not "make mistakes" and avoid being disliked or criticized. While pushing everyone away, they also longed to be understood by everyone, secretly competing with their inner impulses, and had to suffer grievances silently.

Afraid of being snubbed, unwilling to take the initiative to say that you like; afraid that you are "not good enough" to sign up for an English speech or a singing competition; afraid of being "laughed at by others", you instinctively remain silent in the crowd; because you are afraid of ending, you refuse to start everything; because you don't want to bear the twists and turns, so you stick to the rules. But without taking the first step, how do you know if the result is good or bad? If you are confined to the comfort zone and do not make a breakthrough, how can people be happy?

Truth or truth is a big adventure. Actually, "I want to see you", "I can", "I think that's right"... These words are not shameful at all. Because you show your true heart, you are really super brave and super cute. Be proactive, it's really good.

Source: People's Daily

Editor: Chongxin County Rong Media Center/Sun Yue

Review: Chongxin County Rong Media Center / FuQiang Dai Pengfei