Text/Beibei Bean (original article, welcome to personal reprint and share)
The father is the first member of the opposite sex to appear in the daughter's life, and because of this, the daughter's experience and pattern of getting along with the father will affect the daughter's future relationship with other men.
Therefore, when raising daughters, fathers should pay attention to the fact that when the children grow up, they must maintain physical distance from their daughters and narrow the spiritual distance.
Miao Miao, 12, attends a boarding school and only returns home once a month, so that the contact with her parents is reduced.
During the holidays, my father, who was taking a bath, asked Miao Miao to go to the bathroom to rub his back, but he felt embarrassed to go in, so he pretended not to hear.
But Dad suddenly leaned out of the bathroom and looked at Miao Miao and said, "I told you why don't you pay attention to me, come and rub my back."
Miao Miao said reluctantly, "How old are you, can't you get dressed and come out?" Can't even take a shower? ”
When Dad heard this, he angrily shouted, "If you don't rub it, don't you?" I'm not letting you go to the knife mountain, you still came to teach me a lesson, I'm not old yet, I can't let you bully to death when I'm old! ”
Miao Miao was very aggrieved after hearing it, she felt that she had spoken very clearly with her father, but her father still did not understand his meaning, and she hid in the room unhappily, thinking that she was so old and let herself help with the bath, and her father was really not ashamed.
This incident shows that when the daughter has obvious "gender awareness", the father should put some of his more private clothes and keep a certain distance from the daughter.
One: It hinders the formation of the concept of self-protection
When her daughter was three years old, she knew that "boys like Diga Ultraman, daughters like rag dolls"
She herself slowly developed the concept of "there is a difference between men and women", and also understood the concept of shyness, which even if her parents did not tell her, she would learn it herself.
Therefore, during the period when she formed her ideas, the father had to control his behavior, and some "exposed" behaviors should not appear as much as possible.
In this way, the child will have a concept of right and wrong, when she herself is in society, she can immediately understand those attempted misdeeds and turn on the mode of prevention.
Second: prone to precocious behavior
Before the girl is 8 years old, a girl's secondary sexual characteristics are recognized as precocious if they develop significantly and continue to enlarge. And the emergence of this situation, in addition to the child's own problems, the father has to bear a lot of responsibility.
Generally, children will imitate their fathers in terms of lifestyle and behavior habits. After that, the child will observe other members of the opposite sex according to his own curiosity, resulting in precocious puberty.
One: personal behavior, handled alone
Children begin to have a preliminary concept of sex after the age of 3, when the father bathes, goes to the toilet, or changes clothes should be carried out in a space that the child cannot see.
In this way, the child will also hear about it, and her personal behavior will be carried out in her own room or private space, and when she gets along with others in the future, she can have a deep "you and me" distinction.
Two: Keep your distance and be close to the psychology
The relationship between father and daughter should actually be more psychological communication, rather than physical contact, so that the father can become the child's best friend and the person who understands the child best.
Three: There is a difference between men and women, and they sleep in separate rooms
After the child is 5 years old, you can properly start to divide the room, if the conditions are limited or the child does not dare to sleep on his own, you can put a small bed next to your own bed. You can also install curtains on your child's cot and make it clear to your child not to strip naked, because your father is different from your own gender.
In short, after the daughter grows up, fathers must remember these three minefields, and only by giving their daughter enough quality love can the daughter have good values and a good view of marriage.
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