Fourteen years ago, the humble me stood at the train station in a strange city, facing my girlfriend, tentatively asking, "I'm about to drive, can I kiss you?" ”
She kept looking at the Nokia in her hand, not knowing if she was waiting for the text message or looking at the time, hearing my words, stunned for a long time, and then asked "Why do you ask so?" ”
"Nothing, just going to go, for a long time will not see, the brain twitched this thought." It's okay, I'm leaving" Saying that I was about to leave, she pulled on my backpack and thought for a long time before saying: "Okay, okay, you can kiss me." Then I closed my eyes.
I didn't kiss her mouth too much, just hugged her back, kissed her on the face, and then turned around and never looked back, since that day, I have never been to Xiangfan (now I am Xiangyang), even passing by, the psychology will hurt, thinking about it, the psychology also has an inexplicable feeling, like something in my heart has been lost.
My university is an engineering university, and there are few girls. In addition, I am from the countryside and want to change my destiny through learning. Heaven did not fail me, and my efforts paid off, and I was admitted to a good university.
Reality is not the same as dreams, the course arrangement in the university is not so tight, and I don't know what to do after the class. Go to the study room, it's all little couples learning together, either muttering, giggling, or you feed me water and I wipe your mouth. Ate a handful of dog food.
Go to the library, except for those seniors who are anxious to write their graduation thesis to check the materials, the rest are some small couples or girlfriends reading miscellaneous books, and jerky professional books are not what I can nibble on as a freshman.
Back at the dorm, you're either playing games (online Counter-Strike), or watching a movie, or sleeping.
Write an assignment, not existent. There is very little homework, and it is generally done in one or two hours of late self-study, except for manual drawing.
With nothing to do, I went to the bookstore to rent Jin Yong, Gu Long, and Huang Yi's martial arts novels and went to the river outside the school to read them.
Later, after reading the book, there was nothing to do, so I jumped up to the dormitory boss to engage in dormitory friendship to see if I could find a girlfriend.
As a result, the eldest girlfriend was studying at a university in a foreign country, and she didn't think about it. The second and third elders have already found a girlfriend, and they don't see anyone every day until the lights go out. The family of the old four and the fifth is difficult and needs to work in the canteen to earn pocket money, so I am an idle person.
Later, a classmate who came to our dormitory introduced me to a girlfriend. It was from a nearby technical school, and I was only two years older than her. After meeting, both of them felt that it was OK, so they tried to get along, anyway, that time was boring.
There is a ride without a ride to chat, occasionally meet out to go around, the two people are actually not taken seriously, all should be a psychological comfort!
In my sophomore year, I began to get busy, mainly to do metalworking internships, but also outside the school with the old watch to get a training institution, he took the high school class, I took the junior high school class, basically there was no time to date, plus she was about to graduate at that time, I took her to the training institution, after class to eat together. She looked too small at that time, and I didn't have that mind.
Later, she was very envious of the teacher's profession, but because he was only a technical school graduate, the parents would definitely not give the child to her, otherwise they would smash the school's brand. So I advised her to go the right way.
Next, I'm busier. Classes were held when there were classes, classes were given to her when there were no classes, and two junior high school classes were brought in the evening for two hours. And she needed to go back to the dormitory, so we kept the relationship between pure men and women.
In her junior year, she was finally admitted to a college in Xiangfan, a university I had never heard of. But I was very supportive of her continuing her studies.
Because I have an income outside the school, I spare no effort to support it, and basically I am responsible for most of her living expenses.
The environment has changed a person, Xiangfan should be very close to Jiangsu, she has obviously grown up in college, and she also knows how to dress up. At that time, because I was busy making money at night, busy with classes during the day, and had to visit and study in state-owned enterprises, I had less contact.
At that time, their classmates joked and advised her to find another boyfriend in Xiangfan, and the two were not wrong. (She told me later).
Because of the training, so the holidays are busy, I take the road fee she came to see me. We had quarrels in between, but we were still under control.
By the time I was a senior, my old cousin had graduated, and the training institution was very famous in the local area. The high school class of the old strap has good grades, plus a few teacher-training students have been accepted as teachers, and it is already one of the top training institutions near the university town.
In my senior year, because I had to do graduation design, go to some state-owned enterprises to visit and study, and also look for jobs, I had less time in training institutions, and basically did not substitute classes. Coupled with the expansion of the training institution, although I am a shareholder, the money earned that year was basically invested, so the income was very small.
When I had time, I went to Xiangfan to see her. I also found something that I didn't care about at the time. She wouldn't let me show up in front of her classmates, and I didn't think much of it. The hotel I booked near the school was also refunded by her and changed to a hotel farther away.
Of course, couples can do it, we all do. Later, I plan to set the work place in Shiyan or Xiangfan, where there are FAW and many supporting manufacturers, and it is easy to interview successfully.
But our one was more sought-after, either by signing Chery (which belonged to SAIC At that time) or by signing other car companies.
And I was the last to sign, but also signed other car companies, thinking that she will soon be a junior internship, directly to my side of the training institution on the line, the work is saved to find, the internship place is also there.
As a result, after I signed the contract, I told her that she didn't seem very happy. Coaxed for a long time, it is good. Later, she was ostracized by her classmates and asked me to travel with her, and I learned that she had talked with a rich second generation in their school for several months and was targeted. The whole dormitory didn't treat her very well. (I was hilarious, and their dorm room persuaded her to talk about two boyfriends, because the boyfriend was a rich second generation and was targeted, which is a magical school).)
Because she was wrong at the time, nothing really happened, plus for several years, she did have feelings, and I didn't care much. (At most, they chatted, went to the school doctor when they were sick, and occasionally met in the cafeteria for a meal.) Don't ask me how I know, as the vice principal of a training institution that can do seven or eight teachers at a university, my IQ does not need to be doubted).)
Later, I graduated, and the training institution also developed greatly, and the old watch discussed with me about opening a branch school. In 2005, I first went to the work unit to report, and then began to choose a site for the branch school, talk about leasing, buy tables and chairs, and print advertisements. Reception staff, arrangement of dormitories, etc.
I was so busy that I took a phone call that night and I knew something was wrong.
I took the train to Xiangfan overnight and arrived at dawn. She did nothing to help me wash my clothes (in a hurry, I put on a T-shirt, or went directly to the station after the classroom was arranged. ）
I woke up and had a meal with her (at the hotel). I didn't say anything, just said something, stayed here for a day, had a meal with her and left. I don't know what was wrong, it was surprisingly calm, no hysteria, no noise, no fuss, no hands-on.
After saying that, I walked out of the hotel in half-dry clothes, saying nothing or listening to her explanation.
Taxi to the train station, bought a ticket, in the square, tears fell down. I don't know why I'm crying, but I'm calm. I was furious that I knew that she had opened a room with the rich second generation the night before, but after a night of tossing and turning on the train, I was calm. But the tears just can't be stopped.
An hour before leaving the car, she found me in the square and didn't say anything, just watched me cry there.
When the radio let me enter the station, I stood up and said to him, I'm leaving. This time I came to see you, nothing else. And asked her, can you kiss her? (In public, she never allowed me to kiss her.)
Looking at her stunned expression and constantly looking at her phone, I was relieved, and as she left, she agreed, smiled at me like a child and said: Okay, you kiss!
When I turned my head immediately, the tears of indisputable anger came down again. When I passed the ticket gate, the ticket inspector asked me what was wrong? Something happened.
After I turned my head and left, I never looked back, and the red gold dragon in my pocket was also crushed and thrown away by me, and I bought a pack of Emgrand, or smoked comfortably from my hometown. Since then, I have never smoked a red gold dragon.
When I arrived at the unit that night, I had a celebration feast with the teachers, and when I was drunk, the tears came again, and several teachers laughed at my heartache because of this meal. But no one noticed that the phone in my pocket was vibrating all the time.
I changed my mobile phone number the next day, never contacted her again, and never used my QQ number again.
Later, for more than a month, the old watch sent me a letter by registered letter, tore open the envelope on the outside, and inside was a letter she wrote to me, which was mailed to the training institution of the old watch. I didn't take it apart, and kept pressing it against the dark grid of the bag I didn't use.
A few years ago, my wife was ready to donate old clothes, and my girlfriend who had just returned from my family turned over this letter in her bag, played with it in her hand, and was snatched up by her wife and beaten up, telling me that she was going to take it apart and look at it.
My heart hurt a little, but I didn't stop it. Later, my wife looked at the tears and wanted to tell me that I did not agree.
My wife asked if I was really curious? I said, curious about what? It's all in the past, and it's violating my bottom line, and not disturbing each other is the best outcome.
And my wife said that my heart was too hard. Saying that men's hearts are fierce, women's usual cruel words are scum.
I don't think so, but I don't refute it either.