Chen Xiaobei is a tall boy with long hands and long legs, wearing a khaki cotton shirt and washed jeans. Looking closely, you can see his thick eyebrows and enthusiastic eyes, making that young face bright and clear.
Chen Xiaobei led a pure white Xishi dog, with a round and jade appearance, and the bell tied with a red ribbon in front of his neck made Ding Dong sound when he shook his head, which was very seductive and cute.
We waited together in the agency house, the city so big, but not my home.
The man in the agency was in his forties, chubby, speaking an authentic local dialect, and he had a pair of mercenary eyes, hidden behind hypocritical lenses. He spoke to us for a long time, and finally expressed his wishes gently, in a beautiful area, there is a clean and elegant house, two bedrooms, in the middle is the living room, very suitable for two people to rent together. He said you guys, you can think about it, so that you can save money, also... safe.
His eyes looked at me tenderly as he said those last two words.
I glanced at Chen Xiaobei, and after such a long narrative, my heart had gone through a series of twists and turns that had transitioned to a state of stability, about any outcome that might occur.
Chen Xiaobei also looked at me, and our faces were tired after a long time of running.
Little licking, the Xishi dog in Chen Xiaobei's arms also looked at me, it has a very vivid name, it likes to lick every pair of hands close to it, that feeling is soft and kind.
So that June evening, a boy named Chen Xiaobei carried my luggage, I held his puppy, and we opened a door to a new cohabitation era.
In this era, cohabitation has many meanings, and Chen Xiaobei and I just live together.
Clean the room, draw the boundaries, and then make three chapters of the law. Self-esteem, self-love and respect for everything about each other are the subject of everything. Of course, there are also detailed questions listed, such as clothing to be checked, knocking on the door in advance, seeing the other party's phone number and then answering the phone, not asking the other party's private affairs, etc. Chen Xiaobei spent his working hours printing them out, and we pasted them in duplicate on the doors of their respective bedrooms.
My bedroom was larger than Chen Xiaobei's, and it was in the direction of the sun.
After a period of time, I inadvertently became familiar with a lot. Little Lick was a free member of the family, and he even quickly betrayed his former master and began to spend the night in my house, doing other things to eat and drink in Chen Xiaobei's house. Chen Xiaobei said that Xiao Lick was a boy and was oblivious.
The feeling of ambiguity begins from that moment. And then somehow we broke the principles that were stuck on the door. At first, I ate the meal made by the other party, then Chen Xiaobei put the changed clothes into my laundry basin with a dead face, and then I first answered his phone and asked who the girl who talked delicately was, and then later, we all looked like each other's guardians, talking without concern, joking, and gradually losing measure.
Inside that door, all the space together is less than 50 square meters, and the artificial boundaries are becoming more and more blurred unconsciously.
That night, it was late. I had woken up after a complete dream, put on a slightly longer vest and walked bare-legged across the living room to the bathroom. Drowsy and stunned to find Chen Xiaobei sitting on the sofa in the living room watching a silent TV. He wore only a pair of shorts and his feet were on the coffee table where we were eating, at 45 degrees.
We were both startled by each other. Chen Xiaobei stared at me, the TV lights flashed, and I saw Beckham in the picture falling into the green lawn in a graceful posture. At this time, Chen Xiaobei said, Xixi, it turns out that your legs are very good-looking.
I touched the magazine on the coffee table and slapped it on his head, and he dodged and jumped up from the couch.
Chen Xiaobei's youthful body glowed with amber light.
Behind the momentary silence I heard countless bursting sounds, and I saw Chen Xiaobei's long arms roll over, and his body, like the rising tide of the sea, instantly submerged me.
My body seemed to be struggling, but my heart was not.
This is a secret belonging to youth, and once it is spread, it begins to be unscrupulous. We are so young and energetic that we simply cannot resist the temptation of life to be so primitive and so eternal.
The last days of summer are in full swing. Love is so good, no matter how she comes.
Then the beautiful autumn began, and shortly after the autumn began, the Sufi returned to the city.
Sufi was my best friend in college. She was a girl who longed for Shanghai, and as soon as she graduated, she flew away and never heard from me again. I remember what she looked like when she left, 168 centimeters, 60 kilograms, healthy long black hair, white and pure red teeth, and a face like a crescent moon.
A year later, Sufi stood in front of me again, still 168 centimeters, less than 50 kilograms, with short yellow hair disheveled on his thin face and eyes, a tired and dazed look.
I took Sufi in, gave her the key, and asked Chen Xiaobei to praise him every afternoon with the seafood soup, and I wanted Sufi to return to her former appearance. Privately, I also had a feeling of happiness, with my lover here and my friend coming back from afar. It's just that Chen Xiaobei has a lot of taboos, neat clothes in the living room, sitting elegantly, speaking slowly and softly, and quietly making love to me at night.
Su Fei did not go out to look for a job in the first days, she seemed to have changed a little, did not like to talk much, stayed at home to clean up the house or wash clothes, mine and Chen Xiaobei's, small licks also began to be inseparable from her, sleeping at night in her room that is, Chen Xiaobei used to be.
We coexist peacefully, in the new era of cohabitation.
Chen Xiaobei became more and more like a mature man, and when it was colder, he began to wear a suit, which looked like a man. I found a new tie in the drawer, the kind of silky pure white.
As if once, Sufi had said that she liked boys to wear white ties. I didn't ask Chen Xiaobei about the origin of that tie, I just felt something strange. That feeling stems from the unique sensitivity of a girl in love, but I imagine it's an illusion that nothing happens, between my boyfriend and my friend. Later, the three of them sat together in the living room watching TV and eating less and less time, usually me and Chen Xiaobei or me and Sufi.
Sufi has already started work, and at a network company, she and Chen Xiaobei both take the No. 319 bus, a stop away. I also took the same bus, in the opposite direction.
That day I asked Chen Xiaobei to watch a new movie, and when I went back it was very late, Su Fei was not there, and she seemed to never go out at night. Chen Xiaobei said to call her and ask, what will happen to her?
I glanced at Chen Xiaobei, and I said that Sufi was an adult, and that she was as familiar with the city as I was, so there was no need to worry.
Chen Xiaobei didn't say a word, he bowed his head and walked into the bathroom, I stood behind him, my heart was a little flustered.
It was already midnight when Sufi returned that night, and she forgot to knock on the door with the key. Chen Xiaobei jumped up on the bed, wrapped a coat, and turned on the living room light.
Su Fei didn't look at any of us, she drank a lot of wine, and fell precariously to Chen Xiaobei and reached for her arm. Chen Xiaobei carried her to the sofa, and then poured water, a series of actions clean and neat.
Sufi's tired face still has some shallow tear marks, and I suddenly found that in a year, a lot of things have changed, once Sufi and I were friends without saying anything, but now, we all have a story that we bear alone. For so long she hadn't said a word about Shanghai, the city she had always longed for. She was injured, she wouldn't say.
Later, Su Fei fell asleep on the sofa, and there was something called distress in Chen Xiaobei's eyes that could not be dispersed all night.
Winter is coming, and the unheated house is so cold that I panic. Chen Xiaobei was by my side, and it shouldn't be cold.
Then Sufi started having boyfriends, one after another, young or not young men, and she started coming back often in the middle of the night, or simply taking men home. I finally couldn't stand her almost crazy behavior, and one night after "politely" inviting a man out, I picked her up, and I said Sufi, I don't care how much you have been hurt, I don't want to tolerate you to continue like this.
Chen Xiaobei stood behind me, he always rarely spoke in those days, but his breathing was heavy and made me depressed. But I didn't expect that when Su Fei stood up shakily and said that I just wanted revenge, I didn't care, Chen Xiaobei would slap him, behind me, his movements were fast and sudden.
Sufi and I were all stunned by the crisp sound. Little Lick jumped up from the ground and knocked over his own bowl.
Then Sufi cried. I looked back at Chen Xiaobei, and his gaze went straight over me and fixed on Sufi's body, as if nothing else existed.
Snow always falls in the winter, flowers always bloom in the spring, and what comes will always come.
I didn't see Chen Xiaobei and Sufi together in our house, this was his last love for me. In front of the office building where Sufi works, in the open space with lights, she and Chen Xiaobei hugged each other.
The last train had passed, and I stood in the dark shadow of a building, wondering how I had such a true premonition about an ordinary evening of their late return together.
I love Chen Xiaobei, his bright and upright face and his youthful physique. What a familiar and boring story, in the flood of the new era of cohabitation.
On the last night, when Chen Xiaobei hugged me, suddenly, I couldn't feel the temperature of his body. I looked at him in the light through the window ledge, and I said Xiaobei, Sufi can give you the same passion.
Chen Xiaobei's eyes instantly extinguished.
I moved out of that house. Sufi's hair grew again and fell down, covering her eyes. She said Sixi, I don't love Chen Xiaobei, I just want to have a personal pain from the injury I have suffered, and he is the closest boy who is willing to hurt me, he has a heart that is too soft. Sissi, we shouldn't live together, it's a mistake.
This is a mistake.
What about Me and Chen Xiaobei? Our love, because of love or because, we live together.
I think I should leave, I want to be in the world, to figure it out.
Chen Xiaobei did not leave me, he said that Xixi was wrong, but there were some mistakes, there was no way to get it back, although we were so young.
I packed all my luggage, but it was no longer complete, too many things, with the traces that Chen Xiaobei and I shared, by the door, the little lick looked at me with my familiar gloomy eyes, picked it up, gently put it down, and tears fell down in a hurry.
This is the first time I have loved someone, but I love in such a wrong space, if I and Chen Xiaobei meet in another place, I am willing to believe that the ending will be different.
I found a new world that belonged only to me. After waking up from a night that thought it had been broken, I found it still intact.
There was sunlight coming in and scattering everywhere.
With my eyes open, I look forward to new love, and in this day and age, I hope to meet him on a sunny day.