Han Han wrote a line in the movie "After Forever": "If you like it, you will be arrogant, but love is restraint", and many people have not figured out the true meaning of this line for half a day.
Many girls struggle with the question: He says he loves me, how do I know if he really loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, or if he just likes me for a while?
Having such a question shows that the other party has not given you a clear answer, so how should we judge at this time?
01
In the movie "After Forever", Ma Haohan's father was a fisherman, who died in a typhoon many years ago, ma Haohan has always believed that this is a spirit of adventure and regards his father as an idol.
Liu Yingying was Ma Haohan's pen pal for eighteen years of correspondence, and the two have been in contact and exchange heartfelt complaints in letters. Ma Haohan has always felt that Liu Yingying likes him, in fact, he has long liked Liu Yingying.
Now he's going to find his girlfriend, who is also one of the destinations of this road trip.
When they met, Liu Yingying generously held out his hand and said his name, and Ma Haohan across the pool table reached out, but he couldn't touch them together.
To hide his embarrassment, Ma Offered to play a game of billiards, confident that he would definitely take down the warblers. However, Liu Yingying, who is highly skilled in the ball, told the truth of the matter while connecting the goals.
It turned out that his father did not die, he chose to betray, re-established the family outside, and had a child named Liu Yingying. Because he cares about Ma Haohan's life, he has the story of becoming a pen pal with Liu Yingying.
Perhaps the handshake that did not touch together at the beginning has foreshadowed the end of the story, and Liu Yingying also said the classic line: "If you like it, you must be arrogant, but love must be restrained."
Yes, in this relationship, Ma Haohan "likes" Liu Yingying, so he wrote sweet words in each letter and warmly expressed his feelings. This is "like to be arrogant".
Liking a person is a shallow thing, and when this like rises to love, there is also an extra responsibility on people's shoulders.
Liu Yingying has fallen in love with this man who accompanied her through her entire youth with letters, and will try to restrain herself, coupled with their half-brotherhood, only by restraining this love will both people not be hurt, which may be the difference between like and love.
02
What do you like?
When you like a person, you will always be inexplicably attracted to him and enjoy the feeling of being together very much. Even when we meet, we will be thrilled, my breathing will be accelerated, and my hands and siblings will be at a loss.
This is because the physiological reaction caused by dopamine in your body is actually not love.
After the date, residual dopamine can also make people fall into sweet memories and look forward to the next date.
When you formally establish the relationship, every day you boo and ask each other goodnight, if the other party does not give you a timely response will be displeased. Birthdays or holidays, if the other party's expression does not meet expectations, will also be unhappy.
Many times of dissatisfaction will accumulate in the heart, until one day it begins to erupt into a quarrel: accusing the other party, venting dissatisfaction, I am so good to you but how do you... And through the quarrel to make a request, hoping that the other party can do what...
It's just liking, but also taking, satisfying one's own possessiveness by controlling the other person. But many people have not thought, why do you have to be good to him, he must be as good as you? Isn't this kidnapping in the name of love? If love could be exchanged in this way, it would not be so precious!
What about love?
Love is a feeling within yourself that has nothing to do with others.
Love is more about giving, no expectations, no return, and there are not so many gains and losses. Only if there is no preset requirement in their own heart, both parties will be relaxed, and the relationship can develop benignly. Every good he gives you is an unexpected surprise.
In "After the End", Liu Yingying has been "restrained" since the two met.
She decided to bury all her emotions, hoping that Ma Haohan would calmly accept the truth of the matter, leave her, give up her unrealistic thoughts, and end this false relationship.
She understood that only by restraining this love would the two of them not be hurt.
03
The foreign writer Salinger wrote a short passage in his book The Heart of a Broken Story: Some people think that love is sex, it is marriage, it is a kiss at six o'clock in the morning, it is a bunch of children, and maybe it is, Miss Leicester. But you know what I think? I think love is a hand that wants to touch and withdraw.
My brother is a junior in college this year and has a girl he likes very much, but he has never confessed. He said that both of them were preparing for graduate school, and he could feel that girls liked themselves. But he said that there will be opportunities in the future, and he does not want the current impulsive confession to affect his studies, resulting in both people regretting it later.
I appreciate his attitude, like is to ignore it, now to be together, and love is carefully planning the future, step by step. What can be afforded in the future is called the future.
"Like will be arrogant, but love is restraint", the older you get, the more you can understand the true meaning of this sentence. Maintaining a pure love until it is always an easy task, both unrestrained love and learning to know restraint. It is precisely because of this that love is particularly precious.
Do you like or love him? Maybe you love him more than you think, or maybe you don't love him as much as you think.
We all need to be sensible and cautious about love, both responsible for ourselves and for each other.
To this end, we have a professional psychological platform within the United Nations to recommend "True Love Recognizer" for you, this assessment will help you rationally judge your feelings about ta, help you deeply and meticulously understand, what is like, what is love.
True love recognizer
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The evaluation experience price is 5.2 yuan
Test questions: 27 questions, a total of 6 pages of professional reports
After the test is complete, the generated report is saved permanently
▌ What you will get ▌
"Part of the following presentation report"
01. Your likes and loves scores
02. Dissect your true feelings about ta
03. Your love development suggestions