To what extent can a person despair?
It was about throwing away everything about him, blocking everything about him, and completely excluding him from his own life.
Some people say that this is a real desperation, a decisiveness and bravery that has forgotten about the jianghu.
But in fact, the real desperation has never been such an earth-shattering, not eager to tell the world: I have long since lost my relationship with him.
The real despair is silent, the heart is like stopping water, it is not to pay attention.
As my friend Xiaomin said:
I used to be always centered on him.
His things, I helped him solve the problem at the first time; his messages, I always reply in seconds; he lost sleep, I stayed up late with him; he did something wrong, a "sorry" I can forgive...
How deeply you love, how deep you hate.
He betrayed me, and in the few days when he broke up, I was eager to slash him with a thousand knives and die with him.
But after a few days of depravity, I was slowly relieved.
I can not delete friends, do not black, quietly watch him send me messages one by one, humbly say "sorry" to me, begging me to change my mind.
The pitiful way he cried and wept bitterly, before the breakup, I was afraid that I would be heartbroken, if it was in the first few days of the breakup, I might feel very happy.
But now, I don't feel anything other than ridiculous. He was like a clown, directing himself in front of me, adding a lot of laughter to my life.
Possibly, this is the real despair.
All the big-hearted departures are actually just for the sake of temptation, and the real departure is always silent.
The same is true of desperation.
Yelling "I hate you, I'm going to forget you" isn't desperate; throwing away everything about the other person and closing off all your memories with the other person is not desperate.
The real despair is to see that the other party can also be calm, and even laugh and say "hello" like water.
Love is an emotion that is not under our control. When we meet someone we love, our hearts can't help but rise and fall. But when this love disappears, no matter how it is implied, we will not have a heartbeat.
In "Predecessor 3", Lin Jia and Meng Yun meet again, even if they are extremely hidden from each other and pretend not to care, we can still feel the undercurrent between them.
True desperation is not like this.
It is like a mind that stops water, forgetting all the past and the past. Even if you stand face to face with him, you can greet him calmly. In the past, the love that the two had had also turned into dust and smoke, and when they remembered it by chance, they were just sighing a sentence of "things are not people".
The real despair is to leave the other person out of life and then fade quietly with the years.
Possessiveness is another manifestation of love. Every two people who have love will have a desire to possess each other from the bottom of their hearts, so as to enter each other's world.
As long as we have love, we are willing to share our joys and sorrows, and we are willing to tell each other the bits and pieces of life. But once the love fades, this sharing will no longer exist, and there will be a psychology of exclusion between each other.
After the breakup, throw away everything from the other person and avoid seeing things and thinking about people. This is not a desperate feeling, but another manifestation of deep affection. Because the heart can't forget, it will choose to deceive itself in this way.
The real despair is that although the other party's things are used, the heart has long been excluded from it. In addition to these appearances, the other substantive emotions in life have long disappeared.
The real despair is knowing that the other party is not happy to leave him, but there is no wave in his heart.
After many people break up, they still think about their ex, the ex is doing well, he is resentful, the ex is not good, he is happy.
Such a psychology seems to be unloving, but in fact there is still affection.
Because I still think about the other party, my heart will make waves, and I will produce a series of emotional reactions because of the other party's situation.
The real despair is to ignore it.
It doesn't matter if the other person is doing well, we just want to manage our own life well. Whether the other party is happy or not has little to do with themselves, and any news from the other party will not produce any waves in their hearts.
He had long since become an irrelevant stranger to himself.
When disappointment reaches its extreme, it will despair, and with it there will be indifference and indifference. Deleting and blocking is not really a desperate situation. Because at this moment, they still have expectations, and there is a nostalgia for this relationship.
The real despair is to quietly put down the other party, let go of this relationship, even if the other party is still hidden in their friends list, but we have stopped the water, there is no longer the previous mood surge, even the other party's every move, we can do it without asking.