Introduction: The maintenance of each relationship is not as smooth as imagined, it must go through all kinds of wind and rain, if a person chooses to let go in the wind and rain, then whether it is love or marriage will also wither and die.
01
Every marriage from green silk to whitehead, the middle has to go through a lot of wind and rain, so I heard someone say such a paragraph: couples who can smoothly walk together through life are the fruits of victory that they pick together.
Indeed, how many couples cannot withstand a series of changes in the years, either when they are young and different, or in middle age, Lan Yinguo, who have lost to time and have forgotten the promise they made to keep each other for a lifetime.
Why talk about the twilight years, snuggling up to each other to see the most beautiful sunset, to reminisce about all the beautiful experiences in the past?
When you are young, in marriage, you must learn to refuse the temptation of the outside world, learn to love your lover well, learn how to get used to and understand the business model of marriage, if you do it, you will unconsciously step by step to the stage of middle-aged couples, and at this stage, you will find that there are more things between you, but there will be a lot less.
You have more sense of responsibility for the family, more concern for your children, more planning for the future, and then less passion, sweetness and freshness that you loved each other when you were young.
This is not inevitable, but it is normal.
Understanding that there is little enduring love, you will accept the reality brought by the old husband and wife, and each couple is making their marriage reach the end in their own way.
There is a saying on the Internet: the biggest sorrow of middle-aged couples is that there is no sex in bed, and there is no love under the bed.
Sex is one of the manifestations of marriage, love is the most primitive driving force for marriage to be maintained, and the two complement each other and are indispensable.
But if there is none, is there no way for marriage to go on? Not necessarily.
02
There are many middle-aged couples who will continue to operate their marriages for the sake of the family and the children, and in doing so, they are responsible for both the family and the future of the children.
But between these middle-aged couples, no matter what the other party does, says, or happens, it seems that there is no interest, nothing to worry about.
Yesterday went to the market to buy vegetables, due to the rain, people come and go, the market is full of wet, suddenly want to eat fish to go to the fish stall and tell the boss to buy a fresh home.
The owner of the fish stall is a middle-aged couple who remember having been selling fish here for many years.
Just picked the fish, only to see the lady holding the fish and handing it to her husband, she slipped under her feet and accidentally fell, seeing that she stood up with some difficulty, I also pinched a handful of sweat for her, and then she vigorously patted her husband's shoulder and said: "You are blind, I fell down and did not help it, no conscience!" When I was young, I cut a finger, where did your heartache go for me? ”
The boss replied slowly, "Why are you so pretentious?" And did not fall to the real place, usually also fell a lot, there is nothing to do, fuss. ”
Only to see the lady boss with her head bowed and using a plastic bag to pack the fish I wanted to buy, her eyes were a little red, took a deep breath and smiled and handed the fish to me, and forced a smile to tell me to walk slowly.
Such a scene makes people feel a lot after watching it, and it can be seen that the boss lady does not care about whether she has fallen or not, but that her husband does not care about her at all, and even coldly talks to her.
A woman can be very strong, she can also be very fragile, strong enough not to be afraid of all the difficulties in the world, so fragile that a single sentence is enough to destroy her entire inner world in an instant.
She said that when she was young, even if she was hurt a little, her husband would be very distressed, enough to see that in her heart, her husband at that time loved her very much, compared with her husband's attitude towards herself now, the gap was too big at once, which woman could accept it.
Some middle-aged couples are not completely out of love, but in the process of too eager to get the same love as when they were young again, the other party has been unable to respond in the same way, which makes either party feel doubly painful.
The former love slowly lost its temperature and froze with the passage of time, leaving less and less enthusiasm and more indifference.
In this world, any kind of relationship, no matter how powerful it is at the beginning, it will eventually become flat.
Perhaps the greatest sorrow of middle-aged couples is not that there is no sex, no love, but that I am by your side, about my joys and sorrows, my life, old age, illness and death, you are indifferent.
03
There are many reasons why middle-aged couples can't get by, but most of them start with nothing to say.
In the ancient imperial dynasty, the emperor would have three thousand harem beauties, although according to historical records or according to the costume TV series, "three thousand" is an exaggeration, but it is undeniable that the emperor's harem has many concubines, there are beautiful and moving, there are intelligent and clever, there are generous and decent, there are charming, it can be said that the emperor never lacks women.
Take the TV series "The Biography of Zhen Huan", for the women that the emperor himself likes and appreciates, such as Zhen Huan and Hua Fei, the emperor always puts them in his heart, and hates not being able to accompany them every day.
But there are also another kind of concubines, such as empresses, concubines, concubines, concubines, and concubines, and the emperor does not love them, at most it is a kind of respect and pity.
For example, according to the feudal system at that time, Qifei was not the emperor's wife, but in Qifei's life, he was the only "husband" in her heart.
Concubine Qi had already married him when he was not yet emperor, and had given birth to a third brother for him, and even if the emperor was for the third brother, he had to occasionally come to say a few words to Concubine Qi, and the superficial kung fu still had to be done.
There is such a scene in the play, the emperor turned over the sign of Concubine Qi and went to her, she knew that she was very nervous, and immediately called the next person to prepare to take over, after all, the emperor was half a year ago from the last time.
Later, after the emperor came, Concubine Qi stood there motionless, and the emperor did not know how to talk to her, so he had to look down at his book, and the two of them undoubtedly became the most familiar strangers.
Princess Qi thought about going in order to be able to talk to the emperor, so she told the emperor about the three brothers, for example, the three brothers grew tall, and she often taught him to listen to the words of the emperor Amma.
As a result, the emperor listened to it with a look of impatience and asked her if she had anything else to say to her son.
In addition to that, Princess Qi forgot that she had already given the emperor ginseng soup, and gave the emperor a cup of chrysanthemum tea, and poured the emperor as a kettle, which directly silenced the emperor.
When the emperor noticed that Concubine Qi was wearing a pink dress, he immediately said to Concubine Qi, "Pink is delicate, how old are you now?" ”
After a moment's hesitation, Princess Qi's face turned red, and for a moment she did not know what to say to answer the emperor, and just when she was ready to say something, the emperor got up and pulled out her leg and left, leaving Concubine Qi to look at the emperor's distant figure and sighed uncomfortably.
The mode of getting along with this "middle-aged couple" is a little humorous and a little sad, the man feels that the woman has no interest at all, the woman is stupid and does not understand the man's mind, the words and things they do have aroused great disgust to the emperor, and they have lost patience with Concubine Qi.
Even if ordinary couples do not love, there are children that can be used as the theme of marriage, using children as the "glue" for couples, but they are in such a special environment, bound by rules and etiquette, and the original emotional foundation is not particularly deep, so it is more difficult to maintain that harmonious husband and wife feelings.
Every couple will experience that there are no more common topics, often quarrel for small things, complain about each other's shortcomings and even feel annoyed by the process of seeing each other, and it is a test of the tacit understanding of cooperation between husband and wife to endure the past.
04
Time will let us see every face clearly, long-term companionship will let us know every heart, and more importantly, whether the other party is suitable for us or not, it is also a matter of time and time.
Whether it is based on each other's emotional needs or based on the growth of children, future planning will surely become a problem faced by middle-aged couples.
If every couple wants to really live a good middle-aged life, they must give up some unrealistic fantasies and reposition their feelings with their partners, or friends, or lovers, or confidants, or couples, and it is also a good choice to develop well.
It is important that two people should tolerate each other, care for each other, be willing to pay, do not hold an attitude of not caring about everything about each other, and gradually strangle the opportunity for marriage to survive in the cradle, then the so-called "middle-aged marriage crisis" will be solved.
End。
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