Give someone a rose, and the hand has a lingering fragrance.
To help others is to help oneself.
However, the following kinds of people, even if the other party is pitiful, even if they are capable, they do not have to help. To help is to add to the chaos.
01
A man who loves money as much as his life.
In the "History of Ru Lin", yan jiansheng, who loves money as much as life, has such a detail: Yan Jiansheng, who is as angry as gossamer, always refuses to swallow his last breath, but only sticks out two fingers, making people unclear. It wasn't until his wife, who knew him best, broke a wick that he closed his eyes with confidence.
Of course, thriftiness is necessary, but if all the effort is used to protect the family wealth, then even the closest family members will become calculating, and less warm and affectionate.
Liu Zongyuan, who is known as one of the "Eight Great Masters of the Tang and Song Dynasties", once wrote a short exhortation essay "Yongzhi Hu": The people of Yongzhou are good at swimming, but one of the people who are best at swimming drowned because he was reluctant to lose the thousand yuan wrapped around his waist when the river swelled and the boat broke.
Before he drowned, his companions repeatedly advised him to quickly throw away his money and save his life. But that person never "endured the pain and cut love", so that he paid the price of his life.
What would a person who loves money as much as his life want if he didn't even want his own life?
The reason why such a person comes to the door to ask for help is nothing more than a "profit" word, when the benefits are in hand, they turn their faces and do not recognize people, crossing the river and demolishing bridges is the most common thing. When the interests are not collected for a long time, even if they are begging for money, they will not let go.
In the face of such a person, only by showing the same "dime", will it be discouraged.
02
Stupid stereotypical people.
There is a saying: "Mourn his misfortune, and anger him." ”
Many times, when we want to help a person, we find that there is no way to start. It's like rescuing a person who has fallen off a cliff, even if he has tried his best to reach out and try to pull him, but the other party will not put his hand out.
Because they stubbornly abide by what they believe to be the norms of how to behave in the world, they do not know how to be flexible, let alone "act according to opportunities".
According to legend, Bo Le wrote about his ability to recognize horses in a book called the Soma Sutra, and drew various pictures of horses to help people identify them. Bo Le's son was very stupid, but he also hoped that he could be as good as his father, so he memorized the "Soma Sutra" and memorized the rolling melon, thinking that he also had the ability to recognize horses. He pressed Tusoji, and as a result, he returned home with a toad to announce the good news to his father. Bo Le smiled bitterly and said, "The horse you are looking for likes to jump, but it can't drive." ”
When we are confronted with a stupid and stereotypical person, what can we do but ridicule and self-deprecation?
The level of cognition is very different, even if you try your best to help him come up with a perfect solution, but once it is not within his cognitive range, you can't convince him to agree, then it is likely to be identified as a frame-up.
Just like in the workplace, a person with no relationship and no background knows how to immerse himself in hard work, is full of vigilance against others, and often cannot easily identify who is the person who really helps him.
As a result, those who intend to win themselves over are gullible, not only making themselves "stepping stones", but also those who find ways to help themselves.
03
People who have hurt themselves.
There is a saying that goes like this: "Don't thank people who have hurt yourself, thank yourself." ”
Deeply.
Because the direct supervisor is very jealous, under the other side of the solid work for several years, not only the credit is hard work by a pot, but also by a variety of smears, so that missed the opportunity for promotion and salary increase, forced helpless, another high, start over.
Although he has achieved a lot since then, can he really stay away from the person who hurt him?
I think that most people will not choose to stay away, but will only choose to "forget it". Because, time is expensive and not worth wasting.
Colleagues, lovers, friends, relatives who have hurt themselves, once the old things are brought up again, it is sprinkled with salt on the wounds. Those scars seem to have healed, but they are always pains that can no longer be healed.
When people who have hurt themselves cry and cry for help, they don't have to be "good old people", let alone be "Mr. Dongguo", and it is the most powerful revenge for the past to refuse and ignore them.
04
Conclusion:
If a person does not break off his friendship, where is the best friend?
Life is a long road, we always have to stay away from those who make ourselves embarrassed and make ourselves unbearable, but we should be close to those who make ourselves happy and benefit a lot.
Therefore, those who have let their memories be full of pain, when faced with their pleas for help, do not use morality to kidnap themselves, and do not use "high demands" on themselves to convince themselves.
No one has to help anyone, life, it is so realistic, you are just true to your heart.
Author: Like the wind is light as a cloud.
Your happiness, my blessings.
Images are from the web.