If a person wants to achieve a career, he must give up most of the careers he wants to try and concentrate on achieving a goal. Early in life, we don't understand this. In the eyes of a young person, their imaginary career can be tried. If they had to make a choice, they would feel hesitant. But as we get older, we understand that at various stages of life, we need to weigh and compare many things and make appropriate trade-offs.
Time cannot be turned back, and we cannot go back to childhood and adolescence. If adult men still try to be as happy as little boys, and adult women want to be as carefree as little girls, then it can be said that they are all suffering from infantile diseases. They do not understand that many wishes that are appropriate early in life will appear extremely out of place later, but should be abandoned in due course. To enter a new stage of life, we must say goodbye to the past life, so as to open the door to a new life, so as to make ourselves mature and realize our life aspirations.
One should understand what suits one's current identity and what does not. In this way, he can truly respect himself. As an adult, he should take on his own responsibilities and obligations. He will choose his love, career, hobbies, after making such a choice, he should strive to exert his talents under the established conditions and achieve the established life ambitions. "I am no longer an independent atom that has nothing to do with others." He should not only have the courage to say this, but should also take this thought to the deepest part of his heart, "Everything I do will deeply affect others." ”
It is painful to abandon the notion of the past. We often stubbornly indulge in our own imagination and worship mysterious heroes. We flaunt ourselves in fantasies as masters of the love field, great heroes, or famous scientists, and we hope that we will become such people in the future. We find comfort in such daydreams to insulate ourselves from harm. But there is a gap between possibility and reality, and attempts to cross it to realize the fantasies of youth are not only futile, but also dangerous.
In addition, we should not ask too much from our children, friends, and loved ones. We should be magnanimous, as Karl Sandcastle said: "Let go of your hand and let them go!" We can't talk about unattainable wishes, we should say loudly and sincerely: "No! "We should soberly realize what this abandonment means, and then find new strength from ourselves and strive to move forward."
Renunciation, like cause and effect, is related and interactive. All things in the world, where there is a sacrifice, there will be gains. Living in this world, let alone talk about mysterious reasons, why is "willing" not the true meaning of life?
On the fast-moving train, an old man accidentally dropped one of the new shoes he had just bought from the window, and the passengers around him all regretted it, but the old man resolutely threw away the remaining one. Everyone was puzzled, but the old man calmly smiled and said, "No matter how expensive the shoes are, the remaining one means nothing to me." Throw it down, and you might let the person you find get a new pair of shoes, maybe he can still wear them. ”
After the old man loses one shoe, he resolutely throws away another shoe, which is a manifestation of maturity and reason, in general, people are always floating in the joy of having, and the sadness of loss. The old man is not in a calm state of contemplation, surpassing the world. Indeed, instead of clinging to the shortcomings, it is better to give up or this will bring happiness to others, and at the same time make yourself feel comfortable. This kind of willing approach of the elderly is immediately respectful, and it is also worthy of our deep thinking and learning.
Legend has it that one day, the King of Yama was assigning the place where the little devils would reincarnate. Yan Luo Wang fu zhi took a shot: "Zhang San, you went to the East Village to reincarnate as a man", "Li Si, you went to the West Village to reincarnate as a man"...... Only the sound of the ruler in the hall was heard, and the king of Yan Luo was assigned in order. The monkeys waiting on the sidelines couldn't help but protest. "Whether it is Zhang San or Li Si, King Aro, you let them reincarnate in the human world, please send mercy, and let me do this."
Let's taste human beings. ”
The king of Yan Luo said, "Monkey, there is no long hair on a person's body, and your whole body is hairy." How do you get to the human world? The monkey said, "If I pluck out the hair on my body, won't I be able to go to the human world and become a human being?" The king of Yan Luo could not resist the monkey's repeated requests and promised to help the monkey pluck the hair. The king of Yan Luo reached out and plucked a hair, and the monkey squeaked in pain, and fled with a cigarette. King Yan Luo sighed and said, "Lian Yi."
Mao is also reluctant to pull out, how can he be qualified to be a man? ”
If we can be human beings, we must have done many good deeds in our past lives. If you are miserly in this life, if you are not a dime, if you are unwilling to share money and fruits with others, and if you are unwilling to be kind to others, how can you be qualified to be a person?
"Willing to give" is not blind, "to give" is to give up purposefully, and "to get" is to be selectively obtained. In fact, everything that is gained must be lost, and there must be gained when there is a sacrifice. Master Hongyi said, "No matter what you do, don't think about taking advantage. "Cheap, everyone in the world is vying to have it." If I take advantage of it alone, everyone else will resent me; if I do not take advantage, the resentment of others against me will be eliminated. Light is good for the crowd,
Only by enduring stinginess will we not attract the atmosphere; only by eating small losses will we not attract major losses. To give up is not to give up purely for the sake of giving up, and sometimes it is often necessary to give up for the sake of getting.
A layman complained to the Zen master: "My wife is very miserly, not only does she not care about charity, but even her relatives and friends around her are unwilling to help when they encounter difficulties." Ask the Zen master to come to my house to enlighten her. The Zen master followed the layman to his house. Sure enough, the layman's wife was very stingy, and only poured a cup of boiled water for the Zen master, and even a little tea was reluctant to put it. The Zen master did not care, but, for some reason, the Zen master drank water with two fists between the cups. The layman's wife burst out laughing. The Zen master asked her what she was laughing at? She said, "Master, is there something wrong with your hand?" Why do you always clench your fists? The Zen master asked, "Is it bad to clench your fists?" What if I do this every day? "Then there is something wrong, and over time, it becomes a deformity." "Oh—" The Zen master seemed to have suddenly realized, stretched out his hand, but always squatted on five fingers and refused to close it. The layman's wife was amused by his funny appearance again, and said with a smile: "Master, your hands are always like this, or deformed!" The Zen master nodded and said seriously, "Always clenching your fists or always spreading your palms is a deformity." This is like our money, if we only know that we will not let go of it if we only know that we are dead in our hands, over time, people's minds will become deformed; if they are thrown away, they will only know how to spend. Not knowing how to save is also a deformity. Money is circulating, and only when it circulates can its value be realized. The layman's wife blushed, because she understood that everything the Zen master did was in disguise to persuade her not to be stingy.
In life, there are too many things to get, which is human nature, but desire is difficult to fill, and desire often makes people uncertain about "giving" and "getting", either not too much, or too much, so there are many tragedies that should not have happened.
If you want to give it, you must give it up. We often say that people who can live, or successful people, know best that they are "willing to give". "Willing to give" encompasses almost all the truths of life. As long as we can truly grasp the scale of willingness, we will grasp the key to success in life.
We should note that there is a principled distinction between abandonment and repression. If a person suppresses all his desires and hopes and thinks that they are simply impossible to achieve, then he is likely to embark on a tragic path. But this is not the case with those who dare to give up boldly, they are well aware that those desires are simply impossible to achieve, have no value, and after giving up, their hearts become stronger and stronger. They dare to face life and know exactly why they are doing it. "I know that there are still many immature ideas in my own heart. If I abandon the adult lifestyle, I will ruin my own life or the lives of others. For the sake of eternal happiness in the long term, I would rather give up these temporary temptations. If a person can say this to himself, then he knows that giving up also contains a wealth of wisdom in life, and he will no longer suppress himself. We dare to face the temptations of life and give them up, firmly believing that only in this way can eternal and true happiness be achieved, so that we will no longer feel inner conflicts and spiritual burdens.
However, when people are in a bad mood, they will unconsciously hold the bad mood more firmly, so that they cannot get out of the dead end of the trouble, which is because they do not know how to give up.
A traveler passed through a steep cliff, accidentally fell into the valley, climbed and grabbed the branches under the cliff wall, could not go up and down, and prayed to the Buddha for mercy and rescue, when the Buddha really appeared, stretched out his hand to pick him up, and said: "Good! Now you put down the hand that is climbing the branch. But the traveler was obsessed and did not let go, he said: "As soon as you put your hand down, you are bound to fall into the abyss and crush your bones." The travelers were more grippered at this point
Branches, refusing to put them down. Such an obsessive person, the Buddha could not save him.
A man cannot have all the things he wants. Sometimes it is necessary to give up some benefits appropriately, so that you can get what you deserve. People who don't know how to give up often don't get anything.
Everyone has a different development path and faces countless choices in life. When opportunities follow, only those who set ambitious goals in life can make the right choices and grasp their own destiny.
Having set ambitious goals, you have clear yardsticks when faced with major choices in life. Mencius said, "Sacrifice one's life for righteousness." This is his selection criterion and his goal in life. The famous poet Li Bai once had the famous sentence "Laugh at the sky and go out, my generation is a basil person", dashing and proud of the shore, revealing his heroic ambition to make a contribution. With his brilliant pen and flowers, he soon became famous all over the world and was awarded the Hanlin Bachelor, the peak of the career dreamed of by the ancient literati.
But after a while, he found that he was nothing more than a royal literati who decorated the emperor's ascension. At this time, Li Bai was faced with a choice, whether to continue to enjoy glory and wealth, or to drift all the way to the rivers and lakes? Measuring his own pursuit goals, Li Bai resolutely chose "An can destroy the eyebrows and bend the waist of the magnate, so that I can't be happy", and abandoned the official.
Some seemingly unnecessary choices are actually the foundation for our major choices in life, the ancients cloud: do not accumulate steps, can not reach a thousand miles; do not accumulate small streams, can not become a river and sea. "No matter how lofty the ideal and great cause, we must start from a small place and start from the ordinary, so for seemingly trivial choices, we must also treat them carefully, and consider whether the results of the choices are beneficial to the lofty goals we have set."
I once saw a story like this:
An old eagle was locked up. It saw a small bird singing past it, and thought of itself... So it used all its strength to break free of the chain, but it also broke its wings. It flew with its broken wings, and before it could fly a few steps, its bloody body still had to fall to the ground. Yearning for the freedom of the bird, the eagle broke free of the chains but sacrificed his wings. Freedom and chains are originally twins. In the revolutionary years, the spirit of "if it were free, the two could have been thrown away" was always present. "If you are not free, you would rather die." Freedom is the best state of life, and when it comes to freedom, it is all leisurely and fascinating. In real life, however, freedom seems to be chained.
"Magic strike long sky, fish period shallow bottom" Is this all true? I asked myself. Let yourself live in the dream, when it is true, but after the eagle in the long sky breaks free of the tangible chain, he does not know that he is locked by the invisible chain of inner desire. When it is hungry and thirsty, it returns to the chain.
There is a saying: "Adults are not comfortable, and comfortable is not adults." "A person's whole life, bustling, picking and choosing, for what, is it not to choose a kind of chain for himself? The ancients said, "Where blessings and misfortunes lie, misfortunes and blessings are urged." "When you reap fame and fortune, you also attract a double bondage, and wear a double chain." That's the price for itself. Therefore, a person should learn to choose and grasp the fate.
In ancient times, when a high-ranking person first preached reasoning to a person who came to study, he first took a cup full of black water, and then poured water into this cup. The water in the cup is constantly spilling out, and the water in the cup is still mixed with black color. At this time, the master said to the scholar: "If you want to get a cup of water, you must first pour out the dirty water and wash the cup, and the same is true for learning." ”
There must be some abandonment, and the same is true of learning. To make greater progress in school, it is necessary to constantly abandon old concepts, update knowledge, and constantly adjust and change the way of thinking. French physiologist Bernard said: "What constitutes the biggest obstacle to our learning is what is known, not what is unknown." Albert Einstein also said: "I soon learned to recognize the kind of thing that leads to deep knowledge, and to leave behind many other things that are only stuffed and distract from the main goal." ”
Giving up, for everyone, is a painful process, because giving up means never having it again, but not giving up, but wanting to have everything, in the end you will have nothing, which is the helplessness of life.
You have to learn to give up and choose what you deserve, otherwise life will be unbearable.