There are many enviable couples among the stars, and the marriage of Zhang Xinyi and Yuan Hong is eye-catching.
Although both of them are busy at work, the warm time of the family of three has never been absent. Such a happy life is really not easy for Zhang Xinyi to come by. Before knowing Yuan Hong, Zhang Xinyi had two failed relationships:
The first relationship was with actor Wang Zhifei. They formed a relationship and had feelings for each other because of the drama, and finally came together. At that time, Zhang Xinyi was still a student, and she was sixteen years younger than Wang Zhifei. Unfortunately, they broke up in the seventh year of their relationship. The love spell of the seven-year itch, Zhang Xinyi at that time could not be broken.
Wang Zhifei and Zhang Xinyi
Later, she met the director Yang Shupeng and received a license the next year. Unfortunately, the marriage did not last long, the two eventually broke up, as for the reason for the divorce, the two only said that there was nothing else to say about the peaceful breakup.
Yang Shupeng and Zhang Xinyi
Two consecutive love field defeats made Zhang Xinyi completely lose confidence in her feelings, until the appearance of Yuan Hong, she opened the door of love again.
In 2015, Zhang Xinyi and Yuan Hong announced their relationship. What is unexpected is that this relationship has been opposed by countless netizens. Some people say that Yuan Hong is handsome in appearance, and he is even more charming when filming costumes, when he was in the golden period of career development, marriage is tantamount to self-destruction. Most importantly, Zhang Xinyi has had two failed relationships, and everyone is worried that she will repeat the same mistakes and affect Yuan Hong.
However, Zhang Xinyi not only did not follow the old road, but also adjusted Yuan Hong into a perfect husband. In the variety show "The Man Who Does Housework", when the husbands of other female stars are lazy and hungry, only Zhang Xinyi's husband Yuan Hong is "unusual": cooking, taking a baby, and giving Zhang Xinyi a massage. Want to know what kind of tricks Zhang Xinyi used to subdue this wonderful man?
Let me talk about Zhang Xinyi's first trick to teach a good man
Ask for requests instead of asking
"Husband, you went and dragged the floor!"
"Why don't you go to the shower yet?"
Don't you think such words are familiar? This is probably the most common thing each of our wives says in the home. Is there a problem with that?
It seems that there is no problem, isn't it too normal for the wife to make some requests to her husband?
But what I want to tell you is that this is the inversion of the horse!
There is no doubt that what we seek in intimate relationships is comfort. Instructing men to do that can certainly make us feel comfortable. But men are also human beings, and in this marriage, he also has the need for comfort. But can a man who is told by his wife to drink five or six times a day enjoy this comfort?
I think it's hard.
Besides, changing the other person is itself an unpleasant oneself. As the saying goes, the country is easy to change, and the nature is difficult to move. Is it realistic that we want men to do everything as we want? What the can't do, we want to do it, I'm afraid it's harder than ascending to the sky!
But what to do when we want to "let men do something for us"?
We may wish to learn this trick of Zhang Xinyi——
That is to learn to make demands, not to make demands.
For example, in the variety show, Zhang Xinyi asked Yuan Hong to make pasta, and Zhang Xinyi said: "Husband, I want to eat the pasta you made, you made it so delicious!" Instead of: "Husband, you go and make the pasta for me to eat." ” For another example, Zhang Xinyi wanted Yuan Hong to give himself a massage, and Zhang Xinyi said: "Husband, I've been tired for a day and my neck is uncomfortable." Instead of: "Husband, come over and give me a massage." ”
Just expressing your own needs, rather than making demands on the other party, the same sentence, the angle and starting point are completely different.
Because, when we only ask for our own needs, we make a request. At this time, give the autonomy to the other party, if the other party decides to help us, then the other party will find a sense of self-achievement and satisfaction in the process.
If, we mention the requirements for each other, this becomes a command. The order itself is compulsive, which is easy to cause the other party's rebellious psychology. And even if the other party fulfills the order, it is only a complete work at best, and it will not bring any satisfaction.
Then some people will ask:
"Is it okay to learn to give men a need?" What man would be foolish enough to pay for me? ”
Yes, it's true that asking for more is just a way to avoid negative emotions in men.
If you want men to be willing to "be a cow and a horse" for you, we need to learn more. Then I will share with you zhang Xinyi's second trick of tuning a good man -
Give more positive feedback to men and show their value!
Once Yuan Hong made a meal and brought it to the table, Zhang Xinyi ran over and tasted a few bites, and said that it was delicious and good. In fact, the program team deliberately changed Yuan Hong's sesame oil to mustard oil for the whole person. You can imagine how top Zhang Xinyi should be after eating that bite. But even so, Zhang Xinyi did not say that her husband was stupid, how could she not taste it or something like that.
His wife's feedback is so good, it is no wonder that Yuan Hong is so active in cooking and doing housework.
Many people feel aggrieved in marriage because they have done a lot of things, but the other party can't see your efforts, and even criticize.
In fact, as long as the other half has positive feedback, even if it is very bitter and tired, you will feel very happy.
Another thing is that we have to learn to show our value. In the past, when we mentioned display value, we often talked about how to express our own strengths. But today, the sense of worth we're going to talk about is a few ways to make a man feel that we're worth his efforts.
When Zhang Xinyi was praised by others about her husband, she always looked like a light breeze. The implication is that all this is now, and the old woman can bear it. This mentality is also the key to Zhang Xinyi's training of men.
Why?
There is an important psychological concept called projection, which refers to a psychological instinct that places our cognitions and emotions on the outside world or others.
I don't know if you have ever heard such a sentence:
I like the way I look when I'm with you, and that's why I like you.
This is the typical projection phenomenon.
But too many people project a bad side onto their partners. For example, there are some virgin-hearted girls who feel that they are not worthy of their boyfriends, so they tolerate their boyfriends in various ways and compromise all kinds. These girls think that they are saviors and can save everyone, and in the end, the boy becomes a useless "scumbag" who needs her to save as she wishes.
Zhang Xinyi projected a more positive side onto Yuan Hong. She believes that her husband is a good man, willing to take the initiative to give and love herself, and believe that she is worthy of being loved! That's why we see that Zhang Xinyi often praises her husband, but she doesn't overdo it. As we mentioned at the beginning, Zhang Xinyi asked her husband to massage herself, and finally she said to Yuan Hong:
"You really deserve to be my good husband, and you know that your heart hurts me!"
This will give Yuan Hong a feeling: I am really great, and my wife really needs me, and most importantly I should do it! So after accumulating positive projections, Yuan Hong became better and better, and habits became natural.